The Muscleheaded Blog

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Welcome to the new home of the Muscleheaded Blog.

My name is Chris, and I’m a mature Southern powerlifter who likes to hear himself write.

I’m a veteran of the U.S. Navy, a graduate of Brown Institute, and currently compete in Masters Strongman.

Snarky humor, vintage pinups, and weirdos in the news are just a few of the things I like ……

And I’ve been known to sneak all kinds of things in this here blog.

You really never know what’s gonna be showing up next.

So, my advice would be to subscribe, and try to visit right-regular like.

My blog theme is called ‘Dusk to Dawn’, and it’s kinda appropriate, since I’m usually here in the late evening/early morning EST.

It’s also rather androcentric and iconoclastic— so, if you offend easily, can’t stand sexual references, or if you just hate men, please take a raincheck on the follow, with no hard feelings.

How you read my posts, whether you want to take them at face value, or whether you want to look harder, well, I leave that up to you.

Art, if that’s what it is, always means something different to the viewer than the creator… so, don’t let that worry you none.

If you want to know more about the Muscleheaded Blog,
you can read my post:  ” Just What The Hell Is It All About Anyway?

You can also visit my online gym, which features articles about fitness, strength, and gym culture– at http://muscleheadgym.wordpress.com .

Check out this week’s Muscleheaded Blog ‘featured post’:
” Mermaids ” on most of these fine stations.

I love motorcycles–
my most popular post, on British Motorcycles, is here.

How about a post about travel…
like: ” The Beaches of St. John, USVI

Like Pin Ups?
Check out : ” The Pin Up Art of Gil Elvgren ” –

or– ” The Sensual Art of Raphael Kirchner ” .

…. there’s an index on that post that will lead you to a lot of other posts about Pin Up Artists, too.

You can read what I like to call my best general art blogs:
The Art of Maxfield Parrish” or “The Poster Art of Leonetto Cappiello” .

Or, one of my humor blogs like:
Weirdly Radioactive ” or
How to Throw a Bachelor Party ” ( adults only, please.)
…… might let you know what you’re letting yourself in for.

Submissions are welcome-
I’m trying very hard to make this blog interactive !
Please send them to carolinamuscle@outlook.com .

I always appreciate visitors, and enjoy reading comments to my posts.

So, jump on and hold tight…

The only thing I’ll promise ya is a wild ride.

HOY!

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Amazing Gifts for the Clueless

Yes, my friends… ch

It’s me back again with more neat-o inventions that are just bound to make your life just as complicated as it is now,

….but with less money in your pocket to show for it.

Actually, I don’t really expect that any of you, my readers, to purchase these fine items for yourself….

You being the wonderful, intelligent and paragons of good taste that you obviously are, and all …..

No, I was thinking that these would make extremely appropriate gifts, for:
that dolt you share a cubicle with at work,
your waste-of-carbon brother in law….
or that cretin next door who keeps blocking your mailbox with his RV.

Actually,
anyone who fits into the general category of common-sense-impaired-,
running the full gamut,
up to and including:
airheads, and assholes
birdbrains, and blockheads,
clods, and clucks,
doo-doo’s,  dumbbells, and dunderheads,
—- all the way up to —-
simpletons and shnooks,
yahoo’s, and yo-yo’s.

Cause… there’s gotta be some purpose for these things, right ??

Ahem.

1I couldn’t help but notice that you were glancing admiringly at our first item…

Yes, it is a DVD rewinder–
thanks for asking.

25 bucks and it’s yours.

Now you can always be kind
and always rewind .

Despite the fact that DVD’s are random-access storage media, and don’t need to be restarted from the beginning.

Still, better safe than sorry, right ?

Uh huh.

. 2

Now,

—far be it from me to question any dog owner’s desire to make their dog happy.

And I can understand how you’d want yer doggie to reflect an image of being owned by one really stylish hipster and all…

I’m just not all that clear on how this does that.

They’re called Doggles ( of course ) –

and although they look like they’d be very expensive and designed by Pucci ….
…. I mean, Gucci ….

They’re actually a steal at twenty bucks.

(Who‘s stealing from who, well, that’s another question…. )

Muscle dog not included.

One potential benefit I can see right away if I had these for my dog, is that she would stop bothering me to go out for walkies all the time.

(Or anything else, for that matter.
Boy, does that dog have a bad attitude. )

3Now, I know your memory ain’t what it used to be…

Hey, it ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.

You’re not gonna be 29 forever, ya know.

I dig that.

But, when I have to use a product like this,

……… well, somebody just cart me off to the glue factory, ok?

It’s called a To-Do-Tattoo kit …

…… and basically, it’s like writing your grocery list on your hand.

Actually,
…. it’s exactly like that, only this thing costs 5 bucks.

It comes with a magic marker and 12 temporary tattoo transfers.

Just think how cool you’ll look at the motorcycle swap meet using this .

I recommend you buy ten and go completely ‘sleeved out’.

.
4I’m not saying people are getting lazy.

No, I’m not saying that.

It just seems to me that if you have a hankering for an ice cream,

….. you oughta at least have the where-with-all to be able to spin the cone around yourself.

Oh sure, I guess there are folks who are wrist-challenged…

but if your wrist don’t work well enough to turn a cone,
….. you’re not gonna have the arm strength to lift the damn thing.

Or the ten bucks it’ll cost ya, either.

. 5
Exploring the world of cutting edge technology sure can make a fella hungry , ya know.

The thing is, you probably know some lazy slob who would think that last thingee-magig was the greatest invention since the burp,

And so, you might as well give him a gift pack.

This will be almost indispensible.

It’s a spaghetti twirler.

And short of cutting his spaghetti into little chunks for him so he can pick them up with a spoon….

(You know, you really gotta stop spoiling him. )

If it’s any consolation, it only costs ten bucks…

Or you can get five for fifty, in case ya wanna have all his relatives over.

.
Ok..

so, now, you’re probably wondering just how the world of technology could get any better.

Well, sure it can.

Especially if you’re willing to work with your hands and build this yet-to-marketed vintage wonder machine from the past.

Yes, it’s yesterday’s technology for tomorrow today –

………. or sumethin like that anyway.

It should be pretty cheap to build and operate.

Once it’s set up, all you need is a bucket of water and that ‘OH-NURSE’ costume you claim you bought for Halloween.

( as long as you wear them white stockings with it, I’ll never tell anybody why you actually got it.. )

Best of all, you can charge all your more clueless neighbors to use it.

It’s miraculous,

it’s marvelous,

it’s a …..

6

Watch out for witches

the muscleheaded blog:

An interesting Swedish tradition !

Originally posted on Life in the land of the ice and snow:

Well, it’s Easter Thursday again here in Sweden, so I feel it is my duty to inform you once again this year that Sweden will be filled with little witches demanding candy and then flying off to their blue hill.

Yeah, I don’t get it either, but it equals candy, so yea!

On Thursdays, the children dress up as witches (though they look more like hags with scarves) and go trick-or-treating for candy in the evening.  Normally they trade Easter cards they have made for candy, unless they are just greedy and lazy.

Then the legend has it that the witches fly off to Blåkulla, but my kids are usually too full of candy to do any flying.  It’s more like stumbling to a blue bean bag to stuff their faces full of candy and pass out on a sugar high.

If you’re interested in the real story of how…

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