This culture is just getting weirder,
…………. no doubt about it.
And I’ll just betcha it’s something in the food.
Junk food in particular.
How else do you explain how crazy people have been acting in fast food places lately?
A whole lotta crazy.
Deep Fried Pepsi, my ass.
I read about a guy in France who bashed in a McDonald’s drive thru window with an axe—-
because his Freedom Fri … errr….
French Fries were cold.
Hey, I guess if you’re gonna sell crappy fast food in France,
……….. the least you can do is make sure it’s Haute Cuisine.
Sure, ya say….
take the somewhat-obscure but still-cheap joke.
(And my response? … OF COURSE I DID.)
I’m just figuring that guy never ate at MCDonalds before, cause otherwise he’d know–
……………. their fries are ALWAYS served cold.
I think it’s like some kinda Mc-gazpacho thing.
A story about a woman in Florida
(Weirdo USA, and where I grew up)
who tore up the place, throwing cash registers, napkin holders, straw dispensers, and anything else she could get her hands on……….
They had the nerve to put mustard on her hamburger,
— after she specifically AXXXED
( err… asked) them not to.
She ‘splained to the cops that this wasn’t the first time they messed up her order,
… and she wanted to make a statement.
They told her not to make any statements until they read her her rights, which they promptly did.
What they didn’t tell her, of course, was
—- that the stuff on her hamburger wasn’t really mustard.
Two guys in Tennessee last year, Messr’s Mosey and Slate, attacked a Murphreesboro Mickey D’s with bricks and concrete blocks after receiving cheeseburgers with an insufficient amount of onions.
Monsieur Mosey was still hanging around when the cops got there, being so intoxicated that he had passed out in the parking lot (cracking his skull in the process), after hurling a piece of concrete through the front glass window.
Asked for a statement by the local press, Slate explained: ” We were ticked. “
Uh huh… that certainly explains it, fellas.
I don’t want y’all to think that this fast food crime frenzy is all happenin at McDonalds, though.
If you’ve ever been to my beautiful Southland,
you’ve probably seen this place at least a thousand times in your travels.
We Southerners affectionately (or not) call the place the ‘awful house’.
The food there is…..
it can range from only-half-assed-home-cooking-like-your-old-drunk-Uncle-would-make,
But in the wee hours of morning in some parts of the Southern US,
this is it, if yer hungry….
……….. so you might as well just bend over, grin and bear it.
Or at least, you’d better grin —
———– and be extra sure to be nice to your waitress.
Otherwise, you might get hit upside the head with a frying pan, like a guy in Beaufort, S.C. did in January.
He complained about the 25 minute wait.
Sure, it was 3 in the morning, but as you know, that’s the time when waitresses are most likely to attack.
So obviously , he had it coming.
In the waitresses’ defense, I have ta say…
I been to Beaufort, SC,
…. and there’s plenty worse things to complain about than the slow service at the Awful House.
Get your priorities straight, man.
And if you like crappy, greasy fast food,
I bet you’re familiar with the fine Taco Bell chain of restaurants.
Despite them being a sponsor of one of my favorite TV shows, Ink Masters,
they uncompromisingly suck,
— but people like to eat there, anyway.
And I bet you also already know that their “Beefy Crunch Burrito” has gone up in price — from 99cents to 1.49.
The nerve of those bastards, charging 50 cents more for the same .012 cent worth of chemical additives, preservatives, and assorted animal in-erds,
……….. all wrapped in a gummy, tortilla-like substance.
It’s enough to make you mad.
….. mad as a ….
— some kinda mad cow, almost.
Like the guy in San Antonio, Texas, who barricaded himself in his motel room for 3 hours,
After having a temper tantrum over the price increase and shooting up the local Taco Bell with a BB Gun.
” You’ll never take me alive coppers — I gotta BB GUN and I ain’t afraid to use it “.
He probably should stay away from the hot sauce.
My favorite fast food story, though,
…. has to be the infamous Reginald Peterson Subway Sandwich Caper.
And I will give it to you verbatim from the Urban Dictionary site….
( although the video is all over YouTube if you wanna watch it ) .
” A 40 Year Old Crackhead from Jacksonville Florida who was arrested in August of 2008 for calling 911 over a Subway Sandwich
He Called 911 3 times in a 15 Minute Time Period to complain about the lack of Mayonnaise and Mustard on His Spicy Italian Sub.
When the police did show up they tried to talk some sense into him but he wouldn’t listen and got arrested for 911 abuse.
Reginald Peterson: ” I ordered 2 Sammiches and I asked for everything on 1 Sammich and the then I asked for Certain things on da other Sammich I didn’t get what I paid for on the first Sammich that I Ordered so I brought the Sammiches Back and ask can I get my sammiches made the way I paid Foe now seeing as I’m on the phone Witcha they locked the freakin Do and they gots bof of da Sammiches they did not make right fo me inside they stoe ”
Officer: ” Sir, you’re Under Arrest ”
Peterson: ” Foe what ?”
Officer: ” For calling 911 ”
Peterson: ” You gots to be kiddin me “.
I couldn’t have said it better, Reginald…..
You GOTS to be kidding me.
….. now THAT’s value for money, right there….