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The Müscleheaded Blog

photo (1)

Welcome to the new home of the Müscleheaded Blog.

My name is Chris, and I’m a mature, married, Southern power-lifter who likes to hear himself write.

I’m a veteran of the U.S. Navy, a graduate of the Brown Institute, and until recently competed in Masters Strongman, although I still train hard and heavy.

Snarky humor, vintage pinups, and weirdos in the news are just a few of the things I like ……

And I’ve been known to sneak all kinds of things in this here blog.

You really never know what’s gonna be showing up next.

So, my advice would be to subscribe, and try to visit right-regular like.

My blog theme is called ‘Dusk to Dawn’, and it’s kinda appropriate, since I’m usually here in the late evening/early morning EST.

a1It’s also rather androcentric and iconoclastic—

so, if you offend easily, can’t stand sexual references, or if you just hate men,

please take a raincheck on the follow, with no hard feelings.

I don’t consider masculinity a ‘persona’ or a ‘put on’….

— it’s simply how men are, and should be, at least for my life.

If you don’t like the way I express that,
well, that’s tough.
See ya.

How you read my posts, whether you want to take them at face value, or whether you want to look harder, well, I leave that up to you.

Art, if that’s what it is, always means something different to the viewer than the creator… so, don’t let that worry you none.

A lot of the art featured on the Muscleheaded Blog is vintage —

I like to collect postcards and published ephemera from the early 1900’s in particular….

….. and you’ll see a lot of my collection here.

If you want to know more about the Muscleheaded Blog,
you can read my post:  ” Just What The Hell Is It All About Anyway? ”

You can also visit my online gym, which features articles about fitness, strength, and gym culture–
at http://muscleheadgym.wordpress.com .

I love motorcycles–
my most popular post, on British Motorcycles, is here.

I also like to write about travel…
like: ” The Beaches of St. John, USVI ”

Do you like vintage pin ups?
Well, we have an awful lot of posts on that subject to choose from,
but you can start here: ” The Pin Up Art of Gil Elvgren ” —

or– ” The Sensual Art of Raphael Kirchner ” .

( There’s an index on that post that will lead you to a lot of other posts about Pin Up Artists, too. )

You can read what I like to call my best general art blogs:
“The Art of Maxfield Parrish”
or
“The Poster Art of Leonetto Cappiello” .

You could read one of my best posts like:
“How To Plan A Bachelor Party” 
“This Woman Is Dangerous”
“Weirdly Radioactive “,
“Monsters For Breakfast”
or
“Lily Munster Was Hot ”

Yeah…

I’m thinking one of those posts might let you know what you’re really letting yourself in for.

lossecannonA loose cannon?

Sure.

Hey, like it or lump it …

I never said this blog was for everyone.

Submissions are always welcome-

I’m trying very hard to make this blog interactive,

… and I love to get mail !

Please send them to carolinamuscle@outlook.com .

I sincerely appreciate visitors, and enjoy reading comments to my posts.

So, jump on and hold tight…

The only thing I’ll promise ya is a wild ride.

HOY!

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by

It’s All In The Vice

Everybody got vices.

You,

me,

them —

that self righteous
gleep in church
who sings the
hymns so loud
you figure that
he’s just trying
to let God know
he did finally
show up —

that under-fed,
over-blown
‘body builder’
in the gym
who’s always
yammering about
low-fat, low-carb,
low-calorie,
low-pleasure foods…..

that crazy-eyed woman
on TV terrierwho’s always
screamin’ about how
you’re going to hell ….

and how hot it is
down there
with no A/C
or anything…..

that half-stoned
liquor store clerk
who clucks his
tongue at you
when you buy
5 cases of 2 liter
bottles of Everclear
for a party….

(Ok,
— so, it was
quite a party alright )

I got too many
of them to spend
time here listing them.

Although I quit smoking
many years ago,

— a lot of folks
I know still do.

I don’t bitch about it,

’cause I know from
personal experience,

…… it’s a
hard habit to break.

Of course,
my generation was
brought up thinking
smoking was kinda
groovy and hip.

All of the really cool
movie heroes did it —

Can you imagine
Humphrey Bogart
without a lit ciggie
hanging from his lips ?
smokingpet
I remember trying
to figure out
how smoke in
his eyes never
seemed to bother him .

And if it’s good enough
for Yogi Bear ….

well, it’s
good enough
for me, right ?

I think the guys
that packaged this
one missed the boat
on it…..

Travelers’ Pet ??

Ah well….

My first exposure to
smoking was my
granddad,

grandpa…. who smoked
cigars like a chimney.

( Though,
— never in the house !)

I swiped one of them
when I was 8 —

— it was a cheap 5 cent Phillies Producto.

And,
it made me
400 hundred dollars
worth of sick.

I was green for a week.

smokeAnd I remember a toy
I got out of one of
those vending machines
for a nickel ….

It was a smoking skull.

It came with special
little cigarettes
that a kid would light up
and watch the skull seem
to puff away at it.

I thought it was very cool,

— until I ran out of the
damned special cigarettes
about 20 minutes after I
got the thing.

Rats.

monkeyFor some reason,
dried leaves,
old paper,
or any other
substitute I tried
wouldn’t work,

So, it
— almost instantly —
went from a nifty plaything
to an over-priced piece of
junk plastic crap.

Looking back,
yeah, sure,smokingtoy
I guess the skull thing
was somebody’s idea
of ironic, even back then.

But it also enforced the social normalcy of smoking to us kids,

— and those kinds of impressions run pretty deep.

There have been lots of
smoking toys manufactured
over the years…

I saw a mechanical smoking monkey
that had been made in the 1860’s in
a museum just recently,

And, I still see cheap little
plastic smoking toys being
sold overseas occasionally.

babyOf course,

… peer and
parental examples
are the prime reason that kids take up the cigarette habit,

So, if you don’t
want your kid to smoke,

the best idea is not to smoke yourself.

Screamin’ at your kids
for doing something
you do yourself
is a total waste of breath,
not to mention a bit hypocritical.

And smokin’ will cut down
on the amount of breath
you’ll have to do it with.

But if that’s the worse
vice you’ve got,
well………

— I’m thinking you might
wanna try a little harder.

Just sayin’.

HOY !!!!!!!!

doggie

by

Sunday Morning Music

recordHey Ya !!!

Howz yer day ?

That good,
huh ? ? ?

Well, I hope you’re
in the mood for some
great music this morning.

It might seem to get
a little weird,
but hang in–

It’ll be worth it !!!

.

Dire Straits —

.

Creedence Clearwater Revival —

.

Van Halen —

.

Talking Heads —

.

Jane’s Addiction —

.

Loggins & Messina —

.

TSPO —

.

Blind Melon —

.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers —

.

Sniff n The Tears —

.

The Cars —

.

Well, maybe a
surprise bonus cut —

Marvin Gaye —

.

HOY !!!!!!!!!!

.

by

The Doctor Will See You Now

eyeful49Several of our
wonderful, loyal,
regular readers
have,

…. over the
long, long years
asked me where
I come up with
the stuff
that
ends up,
turns up,
or shows up —

here on the
one and only
non-award-winning
Muscleheaded Blog —

and it’s funny,
’cause
half the time,e49
I dunno where
the original image
came from —

— only that
some friendly soul
sent it to me,

or I found it
along the way
down an obscure
search criteria —

or a trusty, dusty,
postcard seller
at the annualeyefu09
collectors show.

Sometimes I’ll post it
because it’s a relic
of a by-gone past,

and sometimes
simply because
it rubs a part of me
down deep somewhere….

well,
you probably know
what I’m sayin’ here.

If you don’t …

Well, they got vitamins
or somethin’ for that,
I think…..eyeful10

You might want
to see a doctor.

And if you did
just that in 1949,
— who knows,

it might have turned out
the way this visit did,

—according to
Eyeful Magazine,
that is.

I love this retro stuff, man.

HOY !!!!!!

by

Sunday Morning Music

hippieHello !!!

I’m so happy
you could
join us for
this Sunday
Morning Post.

We’re going for
a kinda lost classics
vibe today, so
I hope you like what
I dug up.

.

Joan Baez —

.

Coldplay —

.

Harold Melvin & Bluenotes —

.

Golden Earring —

.

Cream —

.

David Gilmour —

.

Jackson Browne —

.

The Cure —

.

Sade —

.

Neil Young —

.

Joni Mitchell —

.

The Church —

.

Allman Brothers —

.

And here’s a groovy suggestion from
my friend Shoreacres to wrap it all up —

Joe Bonamassa —

.

HOY !!!!!!!

.

by

They Never Come Back

For today’s post,
we have some more
great vintage cartoon
postcard work by
Peter Albert Carmichael ..

.. a well known
illustrator and artist
who got his start at
the age of 17,
working for the
‘New York World’
newspaper in the
early 1900’s .

There’s not a
whole lot of
reliable biographical
information is
available on him,
other than:

He was born
in Albany, New York
around 1890,
and that he
died young,
in 1917, after
an operation
on his appendix.

A loss of a
very talented
artist, to be sure.

But, you can find a
good deal of his work
posted right here on
the Muscleheaded Blog —

( I’m pretty sure
the last time was
a month ago or so ) .

So, as I said,
today……..

we have some examples
of a very popular postcard
series done by Carmichael
in 1910, called :
” They Never Come Back “.

The jokes are
built around
situations in
which the
characters are
presented
with both an
expectation
to return,
and the temptation
to get away,
and stay away.

Some are
hopelessly dated,
while others seem surprisingly
current —

who hasn’t lent
money to somebody
knowing full well
you’d never get it back ?

Oh man,
if I had a nickle.

Ethical dilemmas
galore, here, too.

— and the perspective
of the artist,
as far as the ‘right’
or ‘wrong’ decision
is concerned,
is usually
quite hidden —

— he’s not judging,
so much as observing.

Admittedly, this is
one of the charms
of his work.

Another is the
wonderful
light-hearted
naughtiness
implied in
many of them.

And it seems like there’s
a lot of illicit eloping,
evading, escaping,
eluding, exiting,
and general mayhem
in them, too.

In other words,
perfect vintage fun.

Sure, he’s on thin ice
with some of it.

But who can’t relate
to the poor mover
and his aching back
who suddenly
realizes just how much
furniture that woman
really owns.

And as far as
the card shark
who takes his
winnings and runs —

well, I dunno ……

— who wouldn’t ?

!!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!

by

Sunday Morning Music

How Day ?

I mean,
how’s yer day.

Purely
record-itcally
speaking,
of course.

Rhetorically
speaking.

Sorry. 

Ahem. 

Me? 

Distracted, as ever. 

Thanks for asking. 

But, we’ll get right on 
with this, our Sunday 
Morning Music post. 

Now. 

here’s a great suggestion
from Shoreacres —

Rodney Crowell & Billy Gibbons —

https://youtu.be/SlXyATQAKaU?si=XPFb5FXfh7fN-hV4


.

Steppenwolf —



.

Blondie —




.

Spinners —



.

Hall & Oates —



.

The Specials —



.

Boston —



.

Ray Charles — 




.

Don Henley —



.

B-52’s —



.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!! 

.

by

Match This

m7I was talking
to one of our
lovely, wonderful
readers about
these things,
just a week or
two ago……..

so I thought,

well, what the hell…

But really, any excuse
to post about pin ups
is a good enough excuse
for me.

SO–
Sexy matchbook covers.

Man,a1 oh man-

How in the world
can I say no to
THAT concept,
I ask you?

I’m not all that
good at NO, anyway.

So, of course,
I won’t.

Matchbooks were
so common
in the 20th century,
that almost everyone,
and anyone, carried em.

Yep.
a2

“Got A Match?”
was a question
that could mean
anything from :

I need a light
for my cigarette ….

Don’t I know you ? 

I think you’re attractive .

My gas/pilot light
has gone out.  

Do you want to
go somewhere ?    isiher

What do you mean you
don’t have a flashlight?

Come in for coffee.  

to:

You’re about
to be mugged .

or:

What are you doing
on this side of town?

or even:m6

I brought the gasoline,
so it’s your turn.

or just:

Light My Fire, Baby.

Ok…

a3

I’ll admit…..

Playing with matches
was one of my favorite
activities as a kid…

That is,
before I discovered
the wonder of girls,
of course.

Just the simple
idea that you
could get a flame
anytime you wanted
with a simple flick
of a finger
and a spark from a
cardboard strikerleader
was quite a cool thing —

— you didn’t need
a fancy Zippo or
even a blowtorch —

— you didn’t need
to sit for hours
with a magnifying glass
and a piece of paper….

— you didn’t need
to spend hours and
hours rubbing sticks
together like we did a122
in the Boy Scouts…

— or wait for a lucky
(or unlucky)
lightning strike.

Nope.

Any idiot could
operate a matchbook,
and they were dirt cheap.

Often they were free.

Some idiots
even learned
to make their
matchbooks
double in value —

When I first
joined the Navy,
we would split
matches vertically,a12
so we’d have twice
as many.

Try it if you
don’t believe me.

Once you get
the hang of it,
you’ll do it all the time.

It’s a shame that
splitting trick
didn’t work with
cigarettes, too,
but still….

And best of all —

Many matchbooks
came with free ART.

The kind of ART
I always liked.
a12a1

No,
not Picasso.

Although, if I
looked hard enough,
I’d bet I could find that,
too.

Personally,
I like art with
women’s parts
shown in their proper
places, though….
so, no thanks.

There were also
‘special edition’
matchbooks–

m1— that had
die cut matches
and designs right
on the match.

Those are especially
collectible today…..

Although lighting
those kinds of matches
would seem to have
been an awful waste.

Function over form ?

chicago

Well, ok,
I guess.

But it does
go to show you —

that these things
came in every
imaginable style.

Simple
Technologies.

Simple
Joys.

That’s me all
over, man.

HOY !!!!!!

.

 

5

by

Advice to teen-aged self

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
View all responses

Hi. I know you’re not going to listen to me, a person over 30 (over 65!) but I need to say this, anyway. ‘Cause, well, it’s a prompt.

Listen–
You Don’t Know Everything About Life.
You Don’t Really Know Anything About Life.

So, stop, look, listen, and learn.

Good Luck.

by

Sunday Morning Music – Feb 23

Just how’s it
going with you,
today ?

I hope all is well,
and you’re in the
mood for some
Sunday Morning Music !

Maestro…..

Some travelling music,
if you please ………

.

Talking Heads —

.

Sammy Hagar —

.

Led Zeppelin —

.

Kitty Davis & Lewis —

.

Grand Funk Railroad —

.

Keb Mo —

.

Canned Heat —

.

Black Moods (with Robbie Krieger)

.

Little River Band —

.

Santana w Smokey Robinson —

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

.

by

No Static At All

Being a child of
the 1950’s and 60’s
I had the
opportunity
to see some
marvelous
technological changes
come into play
right in front of
my very nose.

I mean,
my very ears.

Frequency Modulation,
for one.

Awwww….

Don’t go all
” he’s going too
technical for me …”

— that’s simply
the real name
of what everybody
today calls
F.M. radio.

And I have to tell you,
despite all the other
interesting and cool
innovations of the day,
my favorite was
always F.M.

I guess you had
to make a long
road trip, like I
often did with
my family, from
Florida to the
Northeast
to see relatives,
armed only with a
funky, clunky, junky
A.M. transistor radio,
to really understand.

The A.M.
(or, Amplitude
Modulation)
Band not only
represents major
suckage today,
but sucked just as bad,
(and maybe even worse)
back in the 1960’s.

Nothing but
fast talking,
over-emoted DJ’s
babbling
a vapid stream
of un-conciousness,
playing the same
10 damn records
over and over,
not to mention
the commercials
every 3 minutes —

— which really put
the ‘AD’ in AD Nauseam.

And the static —-
man, everytime
you rode into
outlying metro areas,
under an overpass,
or a plane flew over,
or even turned onto
a route with high grass
on the shoulder-
the static made the
radio unlistenable.

You had no choice
but to take your
mono-earphone out
and tolerate your
brothers and sisters
whin-ing and whinge-ing.

You could only
hope that one
of those BIG POWER
50,000 watt stations
would fade
in once in a while —

— like WLS in Chicago,
or WSM in Nashville.

Of course, country ain’t
exactly my thing,
but compared to listening
to my brother grousing
“ARE WE THERE YET”
4000 times in that
special staccato-falsetto
that he saved
for such occasions,
it was sweet music to
my ears for sure.

Then, one special day,
the girl down the street
got a new fangled
AM-FM stereo —

— and I couldn’t get enough
of messing with that thing.

“F-M” you say?

Experimental, you say?

No commercials,
you say?

No static,
you say ?

You Don’t Say !

Of course,
I’d love to tell you
that this story had
some kinda romantic
ending, like me and
Susie ran off together
and started our own
Border-Buster
million watt FM station
playing nothing but
album-cuts off classic
rock and roll albums
and a nightly show
featuring China Valles
and some really
cool jazz, man.

But sad to say,
Susie soon took up
with the co-captain of
the JV Lacrosse team,
and I had to get
(beg/borrow/steal)
my own FM receiver.

Blech –
Lacrosse. 

Still, I do kinda have
my own version of a
1960’s FM station
to this day —
it’s called my IPOD.

Sometimes,
just sometimes,
mind you,
you have to say
“Thank Heaven”
for technology.

And while I’m
on the theme of
talking about
appreciation,
I want you to
know how much
I appreciate your
readership.

Thank you.

!!!! HOY !!!!

.

by

Sunday Morning Music

Greetings to
all and sundry.

Wow….

That sounded
much cooler in my head.

Ok,
well, anyhoo…..

It’s time for another
award-losing post
in our never ending series
Sunday Morning Music.

And remember, you’re an 
important part of this
effort, so feel free to 
send me cool music !  

It might just show up 
here, with your name 
in lights. 

Or italics. 

Example? Ok— 

Here’s a suggestion from
my friend Shoreacres. 
.

Scorpions —




.

Eagles —




.

Mitch Ryder & Detroit Wheels —




.

Deep Purple —




.

Joe Bonamassa & Beth Hart —



.

Blackfoot —



.

Patrice Rushen —



.

OutKast —



.

Audioslave —




.

Red Hot Chili Peppers —



.

Jamiroquai —



.

!!!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

music