The Muscleheaded Blog

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Welcome to the new home of the Muscleheaded Blog.

My name is Chris, and I’m a mature, married, Southern power-lifter who likes to hear himself write.

I’m a veteran of the U.S. Navy, a graduate of the Brown Institute, and currently compete in Masters Strongman.

Snarky humor, vintage pinups, and weirdos in the news are just a few of the things I like ……

And I’ve been known to sneak all kinds of things in this here blog.

You really never know what’s gonna be showing up next.

So, my advice would be to subscribe, and try to visit right-regular like.

My blog theme is called ‘Dusk to Dawn’, and it’s kinda appropriate, since I’m usually here in the late evening/early morning EST.

a1It’s also rather androcentric and iconoclastic—

so, if you offend easily, can’t stand sexual references, or if you just hate men,

please take a raincheck on the follow, with no hard feelings.

How you read my posts, whether you want to take them at face value, or whether you want to look harder, well, I leave that up to you.

Art, if that’s what it is, always means something different to the viewer than the creator… so, don’t let that worry you none.

If you want to know more about the Muscleheaded Blog,
you can read my post:  ” Just What The Hell Is It All About Anyway?
or
a random passerby’s opinion: ” The Bastion of Bad Taste ” .

You can also visit my online gym, which features articles about fitness, strength, and gym culture–
at http://muscleheadgym.wordpress.com .

Check out this week’s Muscleheaded Blog ‘featured post':
” What Color is Your Rose? ” on most of these fine stations.

I love motorcycles–
my most popular post, on British Motorcycles, is here.

How about a post about travel…
like: ” The Beaches of St. John, USVI

Like Pin Ups?
Check out : ” The Pin Up Art of Gil Elvgren ” —

or– ” The Sensual Art of Raphael Kirchner ” .

( There’s an index on that post that will lead you to a lot of other posts about Pin Up Artists, too. )

You can read what I like to call my best general art blogs:
The Art of Maxfield Parrish
or
“The Poster Art of Leonetto Cappiello” .

You could read one of my humor blogs like:
“Weirdly Radioactive “,
Misogyny and You
or
“Advice for the Hopelessly Hopeless“.

Yeah…

I’m thinking one of those posts might let you know what you’re really letting yourself in for.

lossecannonA loose cannon?

Sure.

Hey, like it or lump it …

I never said this blog was for everyone.

Submissions are always welcome-

I’m trying very hard to make this blog interactive,

… and I love to get mail !

Please send them to carolinamuscle@outlook.com .

I sincerely appreciate visitors, and enjoy reading comments to my posts.

So, jump on and hold tight…

The only thing I’ll promise ya is a wild ride.

HOY!

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NO-ing the Future

seesall“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Have you ever wished you could tell the future?

I guess everybody feels that way,
once in a while.

But, I’ve always thought that spontaneity is part of what makes life interesting —

( ….. that, and redheads)

Do I really wanna know that:swami

Tomorrow it’s gonna rain,

Next week I’m gonna get an assessment to pay for the new City Hall,

Next month I’m gonna have another toothache,

Next year I’m gonna crash my kayak into a bridge–

10 years from now,
(ok– maybe 15)

enochbollesI’m gonna need to ask the Doc for a little blue pill…

……………………….. and, man,

I don’t even want to talk about October, 2034.

Naaahh —

I’d much rather find out about all that then.

Oh sure, you say,
but what if Mrs. Roosevelt was right,

— you simply need to believe in your dreams,

to have them come true.dwig

Hmmmm.

In that case,
then,

everything in the future would have to do with:

Lightning fast, unwreckable motorcycles,

( I’ll settle for screaming fast, if necessary )

.

40, 000 square foot gyms with 2 of every piece of Hammer Strength equipment ever made…a

( And nobody on ’em when I wanna use ’em,

… and with my own personal parking space, dammit )

.

cardsGaggles of concupiscent Muscleheaded Blog groupies of every size and description,

– with a ‘special flying squad’ of curvy, redheads –

( Hey-
— it IS my dream, right? )

.

Thousands of great Rock and Roll radio stations 24 hours a day,

elvgrenwith no commercials,

( music by Elton John,
Steve Miller,
Queen,
Journey,
and Manfred Mann would be officially banned…… sorry, c. )

.

and Hawaiian Luaus on every corner.

( Pass the ribs, please. )

.bud

Oh,
and Guinness coming out of the water taps.

( no, of course,
—- no Budweiser.)

.

As much as I’d to think that I had that kinda power,

I’m pretty sure everybody else on the planet would get sick of living in my dream, pretty damned quick.

b(except for the free Guinness,
… and the redheads, of course )

And it’s only “Good to be the King” when the populace ain’t banging at the castle doors screaming for your head on a spear.

Otherwise,
— it can really suck.

Let ’em drink Guinness.

Anyhoo…..

I was looking through a book with predictions that have been made by various past prognosticators —

a1and some of them struck my irony bone, a bit.

.

One of the greatest inventors of our time, Guglielmo Marconi, predicted that:

“The coming of the wireless era will make war impossible, because it will make it ridiculous.”

Well, he was right about the ridiculous part, anyway.

.

zHere’s one from out in left field —

The chief executive of a popular 1950’s vaccum cleaner company, Lewyt:

“Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years”.

Uh huh.

Give the consumer what they want, right ?

I do know his predictions sucked worse than his vacuum cleaners.

.
1aThe Chief Engineer of the British Post Office in 1878 said:

“The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not.
We have plenty of messenger boys.”

I’m not sure just how he woulda coped with 1-900 numbers.

Wait–
maybe that explains why everything moves slower over there, right?

.

I usually don’t like to read other people’s mail
( their diaries are another matter )

yesnobut, this one makes a fascinating read:

” Dear Mr. President:
The canal system of this country is being threatened by a new form of transportation known as ‘railroads’. As you may well know, Mr. President, ‘railroad’ carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by ‘engines’ which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock and frightening women and children. The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed.”


Signed, Martin Van Buren, Governor of New York, 1830.

With foresight like that,
maybe he shoulda run for president himself, huh?

.

And lastly….baseball

Having served in the U.S. Navy, the term “Military Intelligence” has always seemed to be a oxymoron to me,

…but this one is particularly worth remembering —

When asked about the potential of the Atomic Bomb,
Admiral William Leahy told the newly installed President Truman:

“That is the biggest fool thing we have ever done. The bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives.”

It just goes to show ya —- nobody’s really an expert on anything.

.

dwig

 

Dale Carnegie says:

dale_carnegie

“Are you bored with life?
Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.”

Musing

a1I’m dragging my feet tonight, I will so admit it.

( leg day, again )

Still, the blog must go on,

so I just started writing,

in the hopes that some stroke of genius will suddenly over-take me,

and I’ll end up with that ‘ all the great works of literature ‘ thing,

you know–
the one that an infinite number monkeys are supposedly capable of producing..

(hey —
I know what you’re thinking —
that we already HAVE monkeys working on this thing…..  )

My mailbox is empty —
even after the weekend,
so no inspiration’s to be found there.

Oh, rats.visit

What I really need is for some beautiful Muse to appear right now outta nowhere,

…. and give me something really fun to write home about.

Yeah —
she’ll do —>

A Muse
Boy, I could use one of them right about now…

….. especially if she’s a redhead wearing a see-through-toga.

If that don’t make a man rise to the occasion,
well, I dunno what would.

Maybe I’ll spare y’all some of the more salacious details,
— when I do get back to writing, of course.

Ahem.

Muses are an interesting concept —

They were believed to have the ability to inspire one with a proficiency in a specific art or science,

—- since they themselves personified an individual discipline.

muchaThe Muses were a favorite subject of Alphonse Mucha,

and other artists of the ‘Art Nouveau’ movement,

—– so, don’t be surprised if there’s some of that on this post.

The idea of a muse is very old —

It goes back to the ancient Greeks,

who described them as the daughters of Zeus:
(the chief deity in the Greek pantheon),

and Mnemosyne
( she was the embodiment of ‘memory’).

They thought that there were nine muses altogether —

Clio was the goddess of history, inspiring visions of heroic deeds and legendary adventure — her emblem was the scroll.

Urania represented astronomy– her role was to arouse awareness of man’s place in the celestial environment, and encourage the study of the heavens. She was often represented symbolically by a globe and compasses.

aThalia was the muse of humor and natural verse–
she was thought to bring mirth and joy —
and her symbol was a comedic mask.

( She’d definitely be one of the sisters I’d invite to any wild weekend soiree I ever got to have out on the veranda at Mt. Olympus — )

…. along with Erato, the goddess of erotic writing,

(whose symbol was a stringed instrument similar to a zither) …..

And, Euterpe — the ‘giver of delight’ ,

who happened to be able to play two flutes at one time– her emblem.

There’s some dirty reference I can make, there, I’m pretty sure,

…. although the double-flute thing would be totally wasted on me…..

muse1But, in the end,

any good party has to have some music, ya know.

And where there’s music,
— there’s dance —

That’s why we’d invite their sister Terpsichore,

who always brought along her emblem, a lyre.

Despite the fact that the Greeks didn’t wear a lot to begin with,

they still appreciated a good striptease, and I’m thin…..

Ummm…

Sorry, I drifted off there, for a sec.

The great writer of such works as the Iliad and the Odyssey, Homer, was thought to have been influenced by the muse of epic poetry, Calliope– and who is usually represented by a writing tablet in pottery from the era.

museMelpomene kindled the love of pathos and tragedy in literature and plays,

(her emblem was a tragic mask)

And, Polyhymnia, whose symbol was the veil, would encourage those interested in sacred poetry and prayer.

Taken together,

dancethe 9 Muses represented all the forms of arts, literature, and science of every day Greek life.

The Romans,
who considered themselves the ‘efficiency experts’ of the ancient world,

( and like all efficiency experts–
—took all the fun and joy outta the whole thing… )

boiled the number of Muses down to three:

Melete
(muse of practice )

Mneme (memory )

and Aoide (song) .

Man, those Roman guys could ruin a co-ed communal bath.

antiqueAnyway,

you probably already realized that the word ‘museum’ is derived from the Muses,

— as is ‘amuse’

and most importantly of all, MUSIC.

So the next time you’re bored,

you might want to call upon one of the muses to inspire you

You never know where one of those wild sisters could take you.

rome

.

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I hope you enjoyed this post —

…if you did ,
please let me know in comments or drop me an email.

If you didn’t,
I’ve got plenty more posts that you probably won’t like, either.

Like this one: “Lawyers, Guns and Money”.

HOY !!!

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newmuses