Bad Tattoo

aEvery once in a while, I’m home in the early afternoon….

It’s kinda unusual for me, but when I’m home, I like to play with my dog and watch a little bad television.

I say bad television since that’s obviously the only thing they’re showing these days.

I admit that Gilligans Island was a horrible show, but you did get to leer at Ginger and MaryAnn for about 26 minutes out of every 30…

…. because the TV programs of the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s were, at the very least, more show than commercial, which is certainly not the case today.

I pay $150 a month for cable television, and most of that pays for the privilege to watch commercials?

Truthfully, I’m about to throw the cable box, TV, and all the wires out with the trash.

copyright Food Network

copyright Food Network

But I would miss one or two things….
……. like the cooking competitions,

or,

Alton Brown and ” Good Eats ” on Sunday mornings.

Oh, and let’s not forget —

the bad tattoo shows.

I dunno if you’ve ever seen these things, like Bad Ink, or Tattoo Nightmares, but these shows are a real hoot.

I mean,

…when the 67 year old grandma pulled her pants down in the middle of a Las Vegas bar to show an artist her bad tattoo on the crack of her butt that read ” Insert Coin Here ” ,

welcome_aboardor the guy who claims he simply woke up one morning with a huge tattoo on HIS butt that read: ” Welcome Aboard ” ——-

well….
I knew that something really weird was going on.

getsomeAnd I happen to just love weird.

I know this whole tattoo thing is a current cultural bugaboo —

…. one of those things people do to assert their independence,

perhaps to express one’s alienation from the rules of the prevailing society …thesystem

( and presumably that society’s educational ‘systsem’ )

…. or to make a personal statement of some kind….

I get that.

After all, all my friends got em,

and my son and daughter both have more tats on them than any Salty Sea Dog woulda had 30 years ago.

And I even have one myself…
albeit, one that I got many years ago, while I was in the Navy.

( It’s an eagle.. thanks for asking. )

But I’m just not that crazy about how casual people are about choosing a design and artist — passedout

this is a huge decision that you’ll have to live with the rest of your life,

…. and I dunno if it’s should be made on the basis of five shots of Jagermeister, and a dare, s’all.

I’m happy with mine, because I thought about it, and all the implications, long and hard before I got it.

And the folks on these TV shows, well…… not so much.

Now, if you don’t know anything about tattoos, you might be wondering why a guy or girl with a bad one would be going to a tattoo artist to have it fixed….

awesomeWell, there’s only two ways to deal with an unwanted tattoo —

Have it lasered off —
( yes, THAT kinda laser ) —

Yowwwweee, you cannot imagine the pain and expense involved here…..

OR

You can have the old tattoo covered up by another one. dickbutterfly

As bad an idea as that might seem, ( and often is, ),

…. the options for a guy with a tramp stamp featuring a teddy bear swallowing a snake, aren’t all that attractive in any case.

Oh…

… a tramp stamp, in case you’ve never been to a beach, pool, park, or community college, is a tattoo strategically placed above the buttocks to be shown when wearing low riding jeans, or while being ridden like a two dollar mule.

corinth

Some common tramp stamps make for interesting reading….

including one I saw with a misspelled version of 1st Corinthians: 13 —-

corinthians( an unfortunately overused and rather inappropriate  theme for a tattoo, I would think… )

And witty slogans—

like :
” Rides, 5 Cents Each ” , ” Spread My Wings “,  or ” My Name is _______ ” .

The truth is, though….

….. as embarrassing as one of these will eventually ( or should I say, hopefully ) become, the really bad ones aren’t in places so easily covered up like tramp stamps.

Well, ok, you know… easy to cover up in most situations, anyway.

Let’s just take artistic considerations completely out of the equation and look at one of the worst offenders ever ——–

I mean, how do you cover up the word ” J E N I U S ” when it’s tattooed on your forehead ???

jeniusYes, it damn sure IS misspelled — sharp eyes you got there, bud….

In this case, I’m not sure the ‘cover-up’ — the little curvy line on top of the J to try to make it look like a G worked all that well, but……

When it comes to this kinda thing, some questions just beg to be asked.

Like — didn’t anybody in that tattoo shop have spell check on their phone?

Like — just how would anyone be expected to recognize you as a genius based solely on a misspelled tattoo?

Like — considering this one is a mug shot , doesn’t one think about the advisability of avoiding distinguishing marks when taking up a life of crime?

and,

Like — just the WTF was he thinking ?

DUUUUUUUUUUH.

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30 thoughts on “Bad Tattoo

  1. […] I guess I’ve posted on that subject before. […]

  2. yes, let’s see your tattoo!

    unless it ain’t in a G-rated spot.

    oops, that looks so wrong, now that I’ve typed it out. 🙂

  3. […] if you’d rather, read about Bad Tattoos, […]

  4. digitalgranny says:

    I love Bad Ink. Watch it as often as I can.

  5. I have a friend who is a tattoo artist. He says a lot of his job these days is repairing, or covering up, a bad tattoo.

    I’ve watched the Bad Ink show and really enjoy it! 🙂 I love Dirk and Rob! 🙂

    GREAT post!!! Ha! I snorted a lot! 😀

    A friend told me about a kid who had just graduated from college and was looking for a job in the business world. He went out and got a tattoo on his forehead not even thinking it might lessen his chances of getting a job. Duh!!! :-O

    HUGS!!! 🙂

  6. whyzat says:

    I’ve watched the Bad Ink show. Hubby is interested in tattoos. It’s pretty funny/depressing to see how people can get swept up in the idea of having a tattoo (cuz everybody’s doing it) and put no thought into just what tattoo they get and where. The tattooer and his pal are interesting characters, too: that’s what I require of a “reality” show.

  7. kerbey says:

    A part of my soul dies each time I witness a misspelling, so seeing all these awful examples breaks my heart! I have seen some of these shows, and my first thought is always, “Why would you want a tattoo other than military-related?” One is a badge of honor, and the rest are badges of retardation or drunk-fueled fests. What guy is going to be behind that woman long enough to read 1 Corinthians–and by the time he’s done reading, whatever his plans were will have been thwarted. We should be investing in the tat removal business bc it’s gonna hit hard once these tramp stamp victims get married and realized it’s not Spring Break ’98 anymore…Jenius indeed.

  8. gpcox says:

    LOL! I just love that Jenius tat!! Nothing like proving the opposite before you ever open your mouth.

  9. ptero9 says:

    Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to.

    My husband has a tat on the back of his shoulder. It is supposed to be a fairy playing music, but to me it looks like a mosquito.

    Evidently, it could be a lot worse! 🙂

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