No Go Bad Slo

a12I was talking with one of my
favorite online friends yesterday…

and we were discussing
the ad slogan for a
brand of toilet paper:
— ” Enjoy the Go

Now, don’t get me wrong….

I have no problem with you
‘enjoying the go’
— if that’s what you’re into.

But me, I’d rather
just go and get going.aa

I don’t wanna linger
and savor the experience
all that much.

And I can’t really call myself
a ‘connis-sewer’ of TP brands.

Like standing around supermarkets
squeezing Charmin all daygaspain
is all that enthralling, anyway.

I guess it goes without saying
that I don’t really think
it’s a great slogan, is all.

But, it’s not like beef
it’s the worst one ever.

Oh no.

Even if we ignore the stupidly
ungrammatical ones like:

“They’re not just alrighta, they’re Ore-Ida” ,


Burger King’sMo Beef, Betta Taste” ….

…. and Purdue’s vaguely beastial threat of:
” It takes a strong man to make a tender chickenimagine

Yes, worse yet.

A couple of years ago,
a skin protectant called ‘Aspercreme’ had a doozie:

You Bet Your Sweet Aspercreme.


I wonder what they paid 7up
the marketing genius
for THAT tripe.

And when Diet Coke came out with their promotion:

You Are What You Drink

what exactly were they trying to say ?

That we’re up to our ears in aspartame,
phosphoric acid, and potassium citrate ?


Soft drink brands have been a frequent offender —

Remember ” make Seven UP YOURS ” ?

When you think about it, my generation
had to put up with all kinds of
crappy ad slogans — they were all over the place.

Tipalet Cigarillos in the 1960’s ran toasted
an ad campaign that featured a man
blowing smoke into a woman’s face and declaring:

Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere.”

Uh huh…..
…. nothing like a face full of acrid
cheap tobacco smoke to get a girl frisky, right?

And healthy, too — cause remember —
More Doctors Smoke Camels
Than Any Other Cigarette

Hoover makes pretty good vacuum cleaners, and awful slogans …..

An ad for Hoover in 1964 said:

” Christmas morning,
she’ll be happier with a Hoover. “

Yeah, to beat you upside the head with.cute

And who could forget their
competitor’s later ad slogan:

“Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.”

Alright… those are just wrong on so many levels .

And, hey,

I like mustard as much as anyone, but that whole “Pardon Me, but do you have any Grey Poupon” thing…

………….. oh, don’t get me started.

I know slogans like ” Where’s Da Beef
and ” Clap On, Clap Off ” were effective —

and so was the period
I’ve fallen and I can’t get it up ” …. errr…..


that’s ” I’ve fallen and I can’t get up ” —-

I don’t deny it.

But how much of these crappy meaningless slogans
are we supposed to endure before our whole culture
becomes nothing more than a collection
of catch phrases and sound bites?







9 thoughts on “No Go Bad Slo

  1. ktz2 says:

    My favorite sound byte of tv advertising is ‘But wait ! There’s more’ on the old Popeil infomercials

  2. mislucja says:

    That “happy period” slogan-writer should been slapped upside the head !!

    Always felt sorry for poor Charlie … um … wait … erm….


  3. julespaige says:

    Yeah slogans are not shoguns sometimes.
    But ya started out with a potty batch and…it got me thinking of the latest thing I heard…lemme see if I can find it ’cause it is hilarious…

    It’s got the videos in it…which I have to admit I haven’t listened too. I just can’t cause I know I’d laugh till I cry. But maybe one of these days when I need a good laugh. I can’t remember where I saw the bit with the husband and wife explaining their product and why they invented it. Now why wouldn’t any step-stool do? Guess they want you to buy theirs… which I found also comes in an adjustable bamboo model for $70 smackers. Oy!

    I also remember a particular margarine commercial that got my sis and I rolling…If you think it’s butter but… (get a tissue) its…snot!

    And ya gotta know the country you are trying to sell you stuff in. Because (well it’s back to the toilet – since that seems to be were most of us have our brains in that type of humor…to come in with (even if it is your family name)…Wang….(if you think the last paragraph is too disrespectful you can edit it out.) Just saying that humor can be found everywhere…

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