and we were discussing
the ad slogan for a
brand of toilet paper:
— ” Enjoy the Go”
Now, don’t get me wrong….
I have no problem with you
‘enjoying the go’
— if that’s what you’re into.
I don’t wanna linger
and savor the experience
all that much.
And I can’t really call myself
a ‘connis-sewer’ of TP brands.
Like standing around supermarkets
squeezing Charmin all day
is all that enthralling, anyway.
I guess it goes without saying
that I don’t really think
it’s a great slogan, is all.
Even if we ignore the stupidly
ungrammatical ones like:
“They’re not just alrighta, they’re Ore-Ida” ,
Burger King’s “Mo Beef, Betta Taste” ….
…. and Purdue’s vaguely beastial threat of:
” It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken “
Yes, worse yet.
A couple of years ago,
a skin protectant called ‘Aspercreme’ had a doozie:
” You Bet Your Sweet Aspercreme. ”
And when Diet Coke came out with their promotion:
” You Are What You Drink ”
what exactly were they trying to say ?
That we’re up to our ears in aspartame,
phosphoric acid, and potassium citrate ?
Soft drink brands have been a frequent offender —
Remember ” make Seven UP YOURS ” ?
When you think about it, my generation
had to put up with all kinds of
crappy ad slogans — they were all over the place.
” Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere.”
…. nothing like a face full of acrid
cheap tobacco smoke to get a girl frisky, right?
And healthy, too — cause remember —
” More Doctors Smoke Camels
Than Any Other Cigarette ”
Hoover makes pretty good vacuum cleaners, and awful slogans …..
An ad for Hoover in 1964 said:
” Christmas morning,
she’ll be happier with a Hoover. “
And who could forget their
competitor’s later ad slogan:
“Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.”
Alright… those are just wrong on so many levels .
I like mustard as much as anyone, but that whole “Pardon Me, but do you have any Grey Poupon” thing…
………….. oh, don’t get me started.
I know slogans like ” Where’s Da Beef ”
and ” Clap On, Clap Off ” were effective —
that’s ” I’ve fallen and I can’t get up ” —-
I don’t deny it.
But how much of these crappy meaningless slogans
are we supposed to endure before our whole culture
becomes nothing more than a collection
of catch phrases and sound bites?