Kissing and Dancing

1Our long-time readers
might remember me
saying that I don’t,
and won’t dance —

Don’t ask me.

So,
anyhoo —

the reason that
I even mention it,
at all is because : 2

I came across a series
by one of my favorite
Roaring 20’s artists,
John Held, Jr. and
his version of how
to improve both
dancing and kissing —

— Jazz Age Style.

And some of it
actually does
make dancing look
much more enticing — 3

but then,
that’s cause
they didn’t like us
even TOUCHING
at the high school
dances/socials that
I can remember.

Which is basically
where all my dancing
experience began,4
and ended.

Aside from a couple
fumbling attempts
while in the service
that I won’t even
think about going
into here…

— if you’re really a masochist,
you can read about it here.

Still, this series
is a lot of fun —

5Hey, even I could
learn something, I guess.

He says that there
are 12 exercises
to help you
learn to get in
the groove,
so to speak…..

I’ve included my
own helpful notes
(in parenthesizes)6
where applicable.

Exercise 1:
The Brother/Sister Kiss. 
(my sister wouldn’t stand
for a cheesy kiss like that.)

Exercise 2:7
To Be Taken Coolly. 
Place your hands on hips and proceed.
(try not to look so poncey doing it.)

Exercise 3:
The Adam’s Apple Boss. 
Can be omitted if
the subject is ticklish.
(not likely-
it’s just getting interesting.)8

Exercise 4:
His and Hers Hips and Lips. 
Place hands on different hips,
— bring lips together.
(and ….. action ! )

Exercise 5:
The Shawl Crawl. 
The best results are obtained
here with the aid of one of9
those new-fangled
Spanish shawls.
(trench coats will work, too)

Exercise 6:
Kissin Sweet Papa.
Great results can be had
with the right sugar daddie.
(jeez– if I only had some money)

Exercise 7:
Smoldering Sofa. 
It is advisable to
practice this one
on an asbestos divan.
(sounds unhealthy, but fun)10

Exercise 8:
Try and Get It.
To be practiced out of doors.
(get what is the real question )

Exercise 9:
The New Haven Excuse.
The collegiate, commonly called
“Oh, don’t let me leave New Haven.”
(something to do with Yale, I dunno.)

Exercise 10:
Smoke Gets In Your Ears. 
Care must be taken11
with this exercise,
as it has a tendency
to raise the blood pressure,
until the ears catch fire.
(I’d like to try that one.)

Exercise 11:
Spinal Tapping.
The reaction is
upon the spine.
The difficulty here is that12
it might result in a
black eye if not careful.
(that’s why they call it backlash)

And Exercise 12:
The Flesh Is Weak.
(Aww, hell —
You can read it
for yourself. )

!!!!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

jazz-exhibit_held-2

 

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14 thoughts on “Kissing and Dancing

  1. dievca says:

    Ummm– I do think you dance. It’s just called “Dancing in the Sheets”.

  2. This is smoochy jazzy great!
    Dancing and kissing are fun to practice, practice, practice! 😉 😀
    Hey…just kiss her a lot while you’re dancing close and slow, and she won’t notice you don’t/can’t dance! 😛
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  3. julespaige says:

    I’ve been listening to Jazz today.

  4. Mrs Fever says:

    Spinal tapping? Makes me think of needing large bread. 😛

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