Getting Back At Christmas


” Revenge is better than Christmas “.

Now, class,
let us discuss
this concept.

It’s less than
10 days away
from December 25th–
so I’m absolutelydog
sure of one thing :

That you’re already sick
of hearing about Christmas.

(You ain’t seen
nothing yet, but still — )

All that as it may,
or may not be,
we here atass
the Muscleheaded Blog,
… well ….
we feel have a
civic responsibility
to respond to
such erroneous concepts
such as are contained
in the above
Elvira animated gif.

Ya know,

like Deputy Barney Fife
would always say…


” NIP IT IN THE BUD “.barney

First of all,
revenge is
nothing like Christmas,

…. since Christmas only
comes once a year,
and you can get

You got much
more time
to plot and plan for it.tij

Unless, of course,
you’re talking about revenge
on your favorite radio station’s owners,
for switching from their regular:

Classic Southern Rock and Roll Hits
format to playing:
Christmas Music 24 Hours A Day “,

especially starting,
as they did this year,
in mid-September…..need

….. featuring the all time
great holiday tunes
done by long-dead-but
somehow-still-vaguely-relevant artists like:

Justin Bieber,
Tiny Tim,
Korla Pandit,
Paul Polaczynski and the Polka Prinzces.

( I know what you’re sayin’ —waffle-house-christmas
that Bieber punk ain’t dead —

…… well, there’s
always hope, ya know. )

In which case,

I’m certainly willing to
consider immediate
and drastic action.

About that
radio station thing, I

The bastards.

And never mind that
the whole genre of
Christmas music
has slowly de-evolved
and di-gressed into
some grotesque masquerade–

Greedy scumbags
hiring no talent
has-beenz and never-wuzes,hot

to sell soupy songs about
peace on Earth
and goodwill toward men,

… like so many bags of peanuts
for the rubes to throw
at the circus.


Well, ok….korlapandit

I’m not gonna be bitter about this.

I for one, am willing to let that
whole radio thing go….

By the time January comes around,
I usually forget where that
damned station even
was on the dial, anyway.

Now, I will grant you
that it’s usually cold
around Christmas,gunther

…… and revenge is said to
be a dish best served cold,

but you’re merely being argumentative
by bringing that up…
so stop it .

And while I’m digressing,

might I ask just what
kinda clunk-headsmrsmills
are programing radio stations
these days?

It seems that the only time
I can hear a song I like,

— is to wait for some big corporation
to co-opt the damned thing
on a crummy commercial.

And then you only get
to hear 10 seconds of it.bobward

I know the whole thing is
supposed to be
about money and all,

…. but how are they
gonna make money,
if nobody with ears
can stand to listen
to the chicken-shit they play?


Back, I think to the
topic at hand….
if I can remember what it was.

Oh yeah ,
I remember ….


… the spirit of Revenge and
the spirit of Christmas arebronson
two essentially disparate things.

One is all about giving back to the people
who have so generously contributed
to your general sense of misery all year.

Give back just as generously,
even more so, if you can…
…. that’s my advice.

The other is about getting
socks from your Aunt Mary.

Aunt Mary,cat
if you’re reading this, I love the socks,

……… but the red and orange striped ones
don’t really go with any of my suits,
and they told me to stop
wearing them with my uniform.

And lastly, nobody can justifiably
compare Christmas to Revenge —marcy

Unless you remember that
combination tongue-kiss
and butt-grab your boss
gave your girlfriend
under the mistletoe,
at last year’s company Christmas party.

I really don’t know what that
creepy geez thinks that
he would do with her,

…. even if she had positively responded to his pass —

(and how the hell should I know if she did )boss

Maybe he’s got one of
them pump-thingees, I dunno.


I hope he liked the axle grease
on his office telephone earpiece in January.

Apparently, that stuff was
kinda hard to get out of his ear.

Awww, what a shame.

I don’t want anybody
getting the wrong impression here…

Cause I’m a big fan,

… I mean, a big fuckin’ fan of Christmas.

There are all kinds of things about it,
….. that I just can’t get enough of.

And don’t you forget it neither.

Cause it’s comin’
whether you like it or not.

Just sayin .

HOY !!!!






7 thoughts on “Getting Back At Christmas

  1. […] Say- if you happen to like this kinda thing, I’m happy to remind you there is another one of my posts with weird Christmas album art here. […]

  2. HA! Love the song/vid! 😀
    The record album covers made me snort-laugh! 😛
    Beautiful pinup! 🙂
    Fortunately there are many parts of Christmas that are fun and sweet and joyful! 🙂
    SantaClausIsComin’ToTown-HUGS!!! 😀

  3. Mrs Fever says:

    I love Christmas! 🎅😀🌲

    I make my own Christmas playlists though. The radio play-ables are not the only songs out there, and they are certainly not the best!

    Ohhhhhhhh, I want a hippopotamus for Christmas…

  4. julespaige says:

    We’ve actually got a local Waffle House…and my one Kiddo just loves the place… Now I think I gotta find a copy of that album…just for fun.
    Maybe I can get hubby to help me make a poster or a card or something… As for the others…well forget the radio. If my record player weren’t broke I wouldn’t be playing the few CD’s I have. Oy!

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