Christmas Whack

There’s very few things
indeed that I enjoy
more than to be able
to post on a topic
requested by one
of my favorite longtime
online friends and
fellow blogger Jillian

It’s true-

Whacked out vintage
Christmas album coverscarter
really are right up my alley,
and I think I can definitely
deliver on this one.

Notwithstanding the fact
that we’ve already
hit some of the good —
— errr, I mean —
bad ones in
a previous post,
there’s plenty of stuff
left to do a hundred
of these here posts.

And I think I’m doing a
major service to the
record buying public,
while I’m at it.

While I’m not exactly
saying that you can
judge a book by it’s cover…san

I think with record albums,
there’s a 99% chance
that if the cover is awful,
the contents will be worse.

I don’t mean to imply that
all these LP covers are terrible –
some are simply suffering
from a severe case of kitsch.

And if you’re going to gokfc
all clinquanty at the knees –

Christmas is the time
to do it, I guess.

Others seem overly-commercial —
even for a holiday that already
has such a pecuniary reputation.

Still others are simply tacky,
or crude and unkempt.

And if, by chance,xm
your favorite Christmas album
happens to fall somewhere
within this list….

— well —

.. lemme extend my sincerest
apologies and my heartiest
holiday tidings of good cheer
and hopefully much better
music to come.idunno

Let’s hope.

There are several recurring
themes with bad Christmas
album covers, it seems……

Like the tendency to
name an album
‘something-A-Go Go’.

You got:king
Santa A Go Go
and Christmas A Go Go
and Xmas A Go Go
and Holiday A Go Go….

— like maybe A Go Go
was a thing for about
2 minutes in the 1960’s…..

I like the idea of Go Go
as long as I have some
idea where the hell I’m going —howdy

And I don’t think these
people had a clue, man.

Also, puppets seem to
have a larger than average
following as far as
Christmas albums
are concerned…..

I guess it must have
something to do withmarcy
the relative cost of
producing one of those things….
basically, you need:
one trombone player
turned ventriloquist,
a cheap plastic doll,
and some very small,
stylish (for the 1960’s) clothes,
and you have something
resembling a Marcy Christmas Album.

$1.98 ?suzy

Hell, that’s probably more
than she paid for that
cheap doll in the first place.

I do like her long red hair,

Another one is the way
the album producers
want to present the
thing in a way likelibe
you’re actually enjoying
the holidays in the presence
of the personality in question.

“A Christmas with So and So. ”

Like anyone woulda been
willing to spend 10 minutes
with Liberace without
wearing 4 layers of
Nomex clad clothing chimney
and a box of germicidal
handy wipes on hand.

Nix, man, nix.

Ugly precocious children
also are irresistible
bad album bait, as well —

How does that process
work, I wonder?

cross” Oh, that little bastard with
the buck teeth and
the bowl haircut
has got his eyes crossed — 

Isn’t that adorable? 
We must have it for our
album collection,
we simply must. “

Not as cynical as those
record producers who
stole the whole sped-up-voice
Chipmunk idea and
turned into:
“Charlie the Hamster
Sings Christmas Songs”

Or the Shelley Duvall
Christmas Album.

Oh, my aching ears.

Say- if you happen toshelley
like this kinda thing,
I’m happy to remind you
there is another one of
my posts with weird
Christmas album art here.

Ya know, helpful me.

Here’s a cut from
Shelley Duvall’s Christmas Album —

Let me know if you want a copy,
and I’ll pull mine out of the
trash can for you.

!!! HOY !!!




15 thoughts on “Christmas Whack

  1. Those are all so bad, I can’t pick the worst cover.

    Now the Santa Claus with the black Lacey bra, i will wonder what’s underneath every Santa suit I see from now on. 😀 LOL!

  2. HA! Ho Ho Horrible, but what a hoot! 😀 😛

    I used to find albums like those in thrift stores and take them to a White Elephant Christmas gift exchange with a group of friends. The albums always got rewrapped and made the rounds at our Christmas parties…for years. I never figured out why nobody wanted to keep them. 😮 😉 😀

    Dancer and Vixen HUGS!!! 🙂

  3. Mrs Fever says:

    “A go go”? Oy. I’m glad that hideousness decided to a go go away!

  4. jillianmrks says:

    This made my day, Chris…and thanks for the shout-out! Shelley definitely had her moment in the spotlight and you must admit, such a distinctive voice 🙂 I listened to the sample and I heard Olive Oyl, LOL

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