The Answer Is Always B

abedI don’t know why anyone
would have a favorite thing
to think about,
and to talk about,
and to blog about,
that isn’t centered
somehow around sex,
but I guess it’s possible…..

But, that’s me already3
snoring in the background.

And I guess since
most of our readers
consider themselves
all grow’d up and mature —

Ya know, we’ve been
around, and all —

I’ll bet we all pretty sexandcoffee
much think ourselves
experts on the subject.

But how much do we
really KNOW about it?

Well….

LET’s FIND OUT, shall we???safesex

This is a bona-fide sexual trivia test.

And your scores are going
on your permanent record,
so no cheating.

and NO looking up
the answers ahead of time!

But I will tell you that all
the correct answers are B.fondling

So, now let’s see how well you do.

Ok… BEGIN.
.

.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to:

A: Pay your taxes to a sexy tax collector
B: Have sex with a truck driver in a tollboothcondiment
C: Have sex with the governor in Amish country
D: Have sex

.

.

The typical lovemaking session
averages how long in length:

A: 2 hours
B: 15 minutes
C: 3 days
D: 3 inches

.hipset

.

An Oedipus Complex involves
a subconscious sexual attraction to:

A: Cunnilingus
B: One’s momma
C: One’s dad-da
D: One’s puddy-tat
E: Some guy named Oedipusawkwardtat

.

.

S&M stands for:
A: A green stamp company
B: Sadism and Masochism
C: A record company
D: Spaghetti and Meatballs

.

.eat

Dishabiliophobia is:

A: the fear of being molested by a nun
B: the fear of undressing in front of someone
C: the fear of undressing in front of a nun
D: the fear of a nun undressing in front of you

.

.

E.D. refers to what medical problem?

A: A sexual attraction to talking horsesproblem
B: Erectile Dysfunction (ouchie)
C: Elective Depilatory
D: A number nine combo with egg roll and rice

.

.

A popular pharmaceutical remedy
for ED is derived from
what natural substance?

A: Moon Pies and RC Cola
B: Yohimbe tree bark
C: The Coca plant
D: The passion flower
E: Bulls testiclesbudlite

.

.

According to the Kama Sutra,
a mixture of camel’s milk and honey:

A: will make a hell of a sticky mess
B: will keep a man erect night and day
C: will make a hell of a brandy alexander
D: will make for one horny dromedaryyep

.

.

Testosterone is a necessary
libido hormone for:

A: Men only
B: Both Men and Women
C: Ducks only
D: Both Ducks and Drakes1
E: Some guy named Oedipus

.

.

Fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol,
creatine, citric acid, lactic acid,
nitrogen, vitamin B12 are all contained in:

A: a mocha-chino raspberry
creamy latte with extra cinnamon
B: semen4
C: pizza
D: duck sauce

.

.

According to the Kinsey survey,

75% of men ejaculate within:

A: 45 minutes of penetration
B: three minutes of penetration
C: three minutes of seeing a girl nekkid
D: 45 minutes into a date with Paris Hilton

.111

.

It’s estimated that the practice
of autoerotic asphyxiation:

A: do people really do that?
B: takes the lives of 250 to 1000 people each year
C: come on… people really do that?
D: yer kidding…… really?

.aa

.

In 1995, Mo Ka Wang, a Chi Kung master
in Hong Kong, lifted over 250 pounds
of weight two feet off the floor:

A: with the power of his mind
B: with his erect penis (now, that’s MO WANG!)
C: with his erect nipples
D: with his erectic boogaloo1111

.

.

In a survey, most men wished
that their lovers would play more with:

A: Their nipples
B: Their balls
C: Their Visa card
D: Their minds

.

.a1

Wyoming’s “Grand Teton” literally means:

A: big picnic
B: big tit
C: big hit
D: big deal

.

.

In what month do moreagroping
Americans lose their virginity?

A: any month starting with a ‘L’
B: June
C: January
D: at Tax Time

.

.

The animal with the largest penis
(over 24 inches..) is:

A: The Elephant (won’t forget yer
phone number either..)
B: The Walrus (koo koo ka choo)any
C: The Sperm Whale (gotta have
someplace to put it..)
D: The John Holmes’ Woodchuck
(if a woodchuck could..)

.

.

On average: ___ % of women who live

with their boyfriends have
another sex partner.

A: 10%shakesbear
B: 20%
C: 50%
D: 1%

.

.

When reading horizontally from
Shakespeare’s original published
copy of Hamlet, the furthest
left hand side in the last 14 lines
of the book reads:

A: “Something’s amiss”
B: “I’m a homosexual”
C: “Bacon is WSHAK”
D: Never read ita1

.

.

In a recent interview with 10
prominent sex therapists, the
question was posed,
‘What is the most important
aspect in love making?’
Six out of Ten said:stickwalsh

A: ‘an orgasm’
B: ‘staying awake’.
C: ‘being attracted to your partner’
D: ‘having a goat present’

.

.

Lip stick was said to have been
invented in the Egyptian times
for women that specialized
in oral sex because:

A: Red is the international symbol for a vacuum
B: They wanted their lips to look more inviting.
C: The lead in the lipstick served as an aphrodisiac
D: It made them look just like Queen Latifiah

.

.2

NO2 is a chemical responsible for:

A: Testing condoms
B: Erections
C: Getting you turned down twice in one night
D: Getting you to say ‘AHHH’ at the dentists office

.

.

Dolphins and humans are the only
known animals that have:

A: collections of “Fish Bait” magazine
B: sex for pleasure
C: fetishes
D: no aversion to the music of Boy Georgea1

.

.

Among sexually active adults,
_______ have the lowest
incidence of sexually transmitted diseases:

A: Elvis fans
B: Lesbians
C: Anime fans
D: People who regularly eat at McDonalds

.

.

Approximately one out of every two
hundred women is born with an extra:

A: breastteenage
B: nipple
C: clitoris
D: coupla bucks tucked in their cleavage

.

.

A “buckle bunny” is a woman who:

A: insists on wearing her seat belt during sex
B: goes to rodeos with the intent of having sex with a rodeo cowboy
C: goes to all you can eat restaurants and undoes her belt
D: dominitrix’s who whip bad lil rabbits into submission
E: a girl who rides mechanical bulls in her underwear

.

.

A “Priapism” refers to a:

A: Orgasm lasting more than 4 hours
B: Erection lasting more than 4 hoursrule34
C: Ice Cream Cone lasting more than 4 hours
D: Pee Wee Herman lasting more than 40 seconds

.

.

In Newcastle, Wyoming, an ordinance
specifically bans couples from:

A: going to rodeos with the intent
of sex with a rodeo cowboy
B: having sex while standing
in a store’s walk-in meat freezer
C: drinking while intoxicated
D: having sex while drinking xx
while intoxicated

.

.

The same chemical responsible for the
ecstatic highs of love and
sexual attraction, phenylethylamine:

A: will make you go blind
B: is also found in chocolate
C: is used as a steroid by speed eaters
D: is too hard to pronounce to be a real substance

.

.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear:a1a

A: of commitment
B: of wet dreams
C: of Rosie O’Donnell
D: of having a wet dream
about Rosie O’Donnell

.

.

Orgasms act as a:
A: reason to get out of bed in the morning
B: natural tranquilizer
C: reason to go out with the
amazing three tongued man
D: all of the above

.

.

Freud believed that “mature” womencard_035
have orgasms only when:

A: she was having sex with a bearded German guy
B: her vagina, but not her clitoris, is stimulated
C: she felt like it
D: when she appeared in MILF Magazine

.

.

It is apparent that sexual desire hellcats
and performance depend on
some threshold level of:

A: how hot his partner is
B: testosterone
C: how many Viagra’s he’s taken
D: how long it’s been since the last time

.

.

The G-Spot is said to be a:

A: the spot that makes you have to “GO”kentucky
B: sensitive area just behind the front wall of the vagina
C: the spot that makes you want to say “GEEEE”
D: a night club in downtown Paducah

.

.

The term “Blue Balls” refers to:

A: the rental balls at the bowling alley
B: pelvic congestion, when more blood and lymph flows into
the genitals (during sexual arousal) than flows out
C: tongue piercings
D: a night club in downtown Alberquerque

.pitchingwoo

.

Which is not a real town name in Pennsylvania?

A: Blue Ball
B: Sphincter
C: Bird in Hand
D: Intercourse

.

.

Therapists say that the size of your penis:

A: ain’t NEAR big enough
B: has no relation to sexual
pleasure or performance
C: ain’t NEVER big enough
D: determines how much
eye of a weeny you are (literally!)

.

.

Which one of these is a genuine rule for SAFE sex:

A: wash the goat first
B: never reuse a condom
C: use only non-fat whipped cream
D: replace the batteries after every use
E: wash the whipped cream off the goat

.

That’s it.
So, how’d you do ??????
.

aaaa

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9 thoughts on “The Answer Is Always B

  1. dievca says:

    WELL DONE! What fun. XO

  2. Now you know why I got kicked out of Newcastle, Wyoming.
    Oopy! 😀

    YAY! I got an A+! 😛

    HA! *snort* 😀 I had a good laugh with the choices/answers that were not “B”‘s! 😀

    HUGS!!! 🙂
    BTW: The answer to all sex questions in my house is always “C”…get it?!?! Ha, ’cause me…I am “C”!

  3. tlryder says:

    Oh Newcastle. Why you gotta be that way? (You know if there’s a law against it, Somebody has tried it. . .;-D)

  4. ktz2 says:

    A+++ very very funny!

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