Enigma Week: Riddle Me This

lookIt started with a rather
vague, enigmatic invitation.

” The chairman wants to see you. “

I didn’t exactly know
what these ladies
were up to….

and I had no ideafarmer
what this invitation
would entail,
but I could see
no good reason
not to follow
the pheromones
and accept such a
charmingly delivered invite.a1

That’s the foolish part
of being a male, I guess —

A wry little smile,
a whisper of decolletage,
a whiff of estrogen,
a wiggle of feminine hips,
and we’re all a2
‘balls out’,
belly flops in.

Even at that age.

“Sure, tell him I’ll drop rebus
in on him sometime.”

No, I was told.

As a group, we were
making astounding,
exponential progress
in our field of study….

And I personally
had been very busy
working on a brand new,
innovative approach
to solving certain problems
of the peculiar quantitative
dactylonomies that had
become my specialty….algebra

A break of any kind
would be welcome,
or so I figured.

I found myself
blithely and happily
following my twoa3
prepossessing chaperones
into a large, and very
dark conference room
with one chair,
and one ‘chairman’
sitting in that chair.

I remained standing.

As dark as it was goto
in that room, the
chairman still
looked like
he was about a
thousand years old.

Boy, that guy
was giving
me the creeps.

As my escorts backed
out of the room quietly,
the chairman started out
our conversation by
asking me some details
about my work….

Then, he suddenly
stopped in mid sentence — a1

— and posed a quandry
that I still remember:

“If I can only exist
where there is light,
but I cease to exist
if the light shines on me, 
what am I? ” 

“Well, you got me”, I said. 1913
“What is that, a koan ? “

” No… it’s a riddle. 
And a simple one, 
or should be,
for someone
so supposedly
clever as you. ” 

I’ve never been
all that much

for riddles.
As for my
so-called cleverness,
it sounds like it’s been
grossly over-rated, I think. ” 

He waved his hand
in dismissal…

“No matter —

try this one, he said… 
Alone I am 24th,
with a friend I am 20.
Add another friend,
and I am impure.

What am I?” 

“I don’t have
a clue, sorry.” 

“Alright then” ,
he said, in a vaguely
frustrated voice  —

I’ll give you
one more chance. puzzle

What comes 
once in a minute, 
twice in a moment,
but never in
a thousand years?

You coulda heard
a pin drop.

I stared blankly
into the darkness
for several moments
until a side door opened,
and my two buxom
companions reappeared.

The chairman’s voice

” You are not worthy
of entrance 
the Ancient Noble Order
of St. Boniface —

— but, we’re short
of members for 

our annual Feast Day
of Aldhelm parade —

so, I congratulate you
and bid a hearty
‘Welcome Aboard’ to you!

Here’s your oak hatchet — 
— go spread the good news.
Ladies, conduct him
to the preparation room.” 

With that,
we all went
into the next room
started to disrobe. 

And then I woke up.cat

Fuckin’ weirdo dreams.

I gotta lay off the
Absinthe before bed, man.


!!!!! HOY !!!!!!




20 thoughts on “Enigma Week: Riddle Me This

  1. HA! 😀 yeah, drink the Absinthe earlier in the day! 😉 😀

    Love the math ones! And the amigo in the sombrero! 😛
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. mislucja says:

    Boy, those quantitative dactylonomies sure mess with a fella’s head….!


  3. Mrs Fever says:

    Comes once in a minute?

    Well, my first thought was “that neighbor guy I dated briefly” but the rest of the riddle doesn’t fit. 😛

  4. julespaige says:

    Word math puzzles were never my ’40’…
    but you do know that P U is two thirds of a P U N!

  5. Rita says:

    This is great! Thank you 😊

  6. You aren’t having those lucid dreams again, are ya? Hahaha!

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