The Kids Are Alright

qantasOh sure,
I know….

Kids are adorable.

That’s easy for
you to say now.

After one of them
kicks the hell out
of the back of your
seat for an entire
Pan-Pacific flight,
you might see them
in a slightly differentapunch
but ok, fine.

And actually,
so do they

See things in a
different way, I mean.

Many of us believe in a2
a ‘simpler is better’ doctrine,
including myself….

— and kids certainly understand
the world in a much more
undemanding way.

You can’t fault em for that.

Well, you can’t anyway.
Still, puppies seem
much more reasonable to me.

From the canine’s

Poop on the carpet –
you risk the dreaded
rolled up newpaper.

So, as a responsible puppy,
you scratch at the door and
wag your tail to say —
“hey, work with me, here.”

But babies– ajackie

they’ll piss on you
while you’re still
changin’ their
damned diapers–
and look you right in
the eye while they’re
doing it —
— they don’t care.
New carpet?

To a dog –
it’s a danger sign.

It even smells
like trouble.
So they avoid it.


let me just barf
up some green beans
and stewed prunes all over it,
–just to break it in right, ok?

You give a dog atooth
nice juicy bone,
you get licked
into next week.

Give a kid a nice present,
like a pair of cool sneakers,
and all he wants to know
is when he’ll get to wear out
the back of your airplane consw
seat with them…

Damn seat-kickin’ ingrates,
if you ask me.


To abruptly and drastically
change the subject, shoes
though —

Did anybody watch
the Puppy Bowl?

Go Team Ruff.

Hey, Team Fluff
was pretty cute,
though, right ?

Just sayin.



13 thoughts on “The Kids Are Alright

  1. dievca says:

    Excellent usage of white out!

  2. J.D. Riso says:

    My little brother once wrote me a letter that said “I hate school. It’s stupid. It’s CRAP.” I still have it. He never kicked the back of any airplane seats, though. He was a good kid.

  3. julespaige says:

    Some folks just like fashion and the whole matchy-match the shoes with the outfit thing. Me…just give me a comfortable pair of sneakers.
    You know like the commercial with the gal who has a room as big or bigger than my kitchen just for her shoes. Really how many boots, clogs, and heels do you need. Yeah I know some guys like the high heals…but really they just aren’t natural. 😉

  4. I love kids (of the human AND the goat variety)! I love kitties! I love puppies! ETC! 🙂
    In my world as a mom, grandma, and teacher…Kids have always been such a joy!
    And since I’m still a kid at heart, kids are my people-group! 🙂
    Love the letters you put in this post! 😀
    HUGS!! And it’s almost VD!!! 😛

  5. ktz2 says:

    The notes by kids are always totally hilarious every time!

  6. julespaige says:

    I know a few adults who’d like that last one about the shoes!

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