I Guess I’m Just Confused

pushUh Huh.

And I guess the title
of today’s post should
come as no surprise
to any of the readers of
the Muscleheaded Blog….

— except perhaps
that it impliesturnon
that there are
times when
I’m NOT confused —

which is true on occasions,
but is still pretty rare,

When I was younger,
I did a lot of work and study
on comparative religions…

— and one of the things that
always fascinated me was
the Zen concept of a Koan.waldo

It’s rather hard to explain,
but a Koan is a paradoxical
phrase or parable that is
intended to cause a breakdown
in the absolute confidence
of ‘hard’ reasoning.


You may well ask.

Well, one meditates on a koan
in order to come to a greater
understanding of the illogical
nature of logic —

— the insubstantial essence
of that which seems substantial.

A typical Koan might read:

“Philosophy like heaping
up snow in a silver bowl.”

or :mug1

“What is the sound of
one hand clapping?”

But, just because Zen masters
have to spend 70 gazillion
years sitting on cold wood
floors in the Lotus position
to work on questions like this,
doesn’t mean that you and I
can’t have our own versions
of these kinds of things, right?

I mean, who knows more
about thinking illogically
than your old buddy
Muscleheaded, anyway?

And after all,girls
we’re not really expecting
enlightenment around here–

— a couple minutes of
entertainment and a
cheap thrill or two will
do quite nicely-,
…. thank you.

So, in that vein,world
we’ll feature some
filosophical fracturing
of our own right here
on this channel.

Like now, man.

Just ask yourself these questions,
and I’m pretty sure you’ll end upwoman
just as mind-fucked-

— at less than half the price
of an extended stay at a
fancy-ass ashram.

You’re welcome.


The speed of light is
186,000 miles a second.
So, what’s the speed of dark ?


If you put a choke hold on a Smurf,
what color will his face turn?


Aren’t crop circles
created by cereal killers?


If vampires don’t have
a reflection, how come
they’re always
so well groomed?


With all that wool,
you’d figure that sheep
would shrink when it rains,

but they don’t..
do they?


If one learns from mistakes,
how come I ain’t a genius, yet?


Why do they make snow-globes
with summer beach scenes?ouchicken


If Teflon is so non-stick,
how do they get it to
stay on the pan?


Why isn’t the word “phonetic”korker
spelled phonetically?


What if there were no such
things as hypothetical


Is adultery to adults
what infancy is to infants?


Why does one see the
newspaper headline

“Psychic Wins
Lottery Again”dipdope
so rarely ?


If love is so blind,
what the hell is love
at first sight?


Mouse flavored cat food
would seem to be a natural,
but I can’t find any of it
at the store.


What was the greatest thing
before there was sliced bread?


And finally……

Why does a closed mind
an open mouth
always seem

to go together?


Ah well…

C’est la vie,
I guess.


!!!!! Hoy !!!!!! 


8 thoughts on “I Guess I’m Just Confused

  1. I know the answer to the smurf question…the rest of the Q’s, I have no A’s for! 😀
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. Mrs Fever says:

    “So I became a waiter.”


  3. julespaige says:

    I have laughed and loved.
    And attempt to open my eyes and shut my mouth.
    Writing however gives us a place to be verbal – yes?

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