Bob’s Yer Uncle

Heard in the gym at the end
of a long, long boring story
about buying a truck —

“And Voila-
Bob’s Your Uncle !” 


Ok, so I guess it goes
without saying,
but I don’t quite
understand expressions
like that one.

We’ll skip the part
about mixed metaphors
and go straight
to the heart
of the matter —

I mean, what would make
anyone think I even had
an uncle named Bob,
( I don’t)
— never mind mention
him in some kinda
self-congratulating way.

” I’ll Be A Monkey’s Uncle “

Fighting words —
— right?

Especially for all my nephews.

” Say Uncle ? “

are we talking about
my non-existent Uncle Bob?

It makes me almost wish
I did have an Uncle Bob–
so I could defend his honor.

For some reason,
there’s been a lot of
old expressions revolving
around relatives in a
sorta non relative way…..

“… and then I gave him a
“How’s Your Father” right
in the kisser, man.”

Ok– now,
explain to me very slowly
how asking about a guy’s
Dad gives you an excuse
to punch him in the face.

it’s also a weird
1920’s reference
to having sex,
although I don’t know
if an incestuous
connection is necessarily
a requirement.

“So’s Your Old Man!”

Oh jeez, man —
— are you another
one of his old drinking
buddies, or what?

No, I cannot loan you five bucks.

Who’s Your Daddy ? ”

— Albeit not a vintage expression,
it’s still just as stupid as the others.

I refuse to discuss my parents
with any knucklehead who uses
an expression like that.

And you’d think if you were trying
to borrow money from his son
you’d know his damned name,
wouldn’t ya ?

Well, I’ll toast to that.




4 thoughts on “Bob’s Yer Uncle

  1. HA! 😀 I snorted! 😛

    Well, there you have it, Bob!

    I love learning about sayings/cliches and finding where they originated and their meanings, etc. 🙂

    Those “Trite Sayings” cards are cool! 🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. Brett says:

    “Bob’s your uncle!” — never heard that one before. Very cool!

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