— mostly, it was me bitchin
about stuff I couldn’t do
She suddenly commented that
sometimes I remind her
of Donald Duck
on one of his temper tantrums.
But, I’m not really sure
she meant it exactly that way.
Still, the concept of being like a
struck me as hilarious.
And I became bound and determined
to write something based on the theme.
Here it is.
When I went back to college
in my early 40’s, my creative
writing professor bragged
on me to the class one time,
that I could write about ANY subject,
and make it interesting.
I think he was choosing
his words carefully, though.
He didn’t say anything
about it being funny,
or even understandable.
But, as you could probably tell
from the whole “disgruntled duck’ thing —
I’m just not that picky
when it comes to taking ’em
the way I want.
And ducks are naturally funny animals,
don’t you think?
I mean, even though Disney had the rat
long before he had Donald Duck,
Big Don always stole the show.
Anybody who has shared
an apartment with a bunch of ’em knows.
But, ducks are a completely different story.
Just watching them walk is
enough some days for me.
Now, I’ll admit
that I have a history with ducks
that I’m not all that proud of.
When I was a kid,
my sister had a pet duck
( imagine that !)
and I’ll admit,
that duck wasn’t exactly fond of me.
( imagine that !)
When I was around,
he really was a disgruntled duck.
( imagine that ! )
as she was paddling around that big barrel
that she used for exercise,
I thought it would be a good idea
to put a running hose in the barrel
to make it a bit more interesting for the duck.
it seemed so awfully dull, ya know.
Who knew a duck could drown?
( imagine THAT! )
Take it from me –
— they can.
that duck, at least,
turned out to be a
completely suck-ass swimmer.
but, the several child psychologists
that my parents made me visit because of it
didn’t really see it that way.
I was just a stupid kid.
I am a bit disgruntled
about that duck killer label, though,
and I’ve never lived it down in my family.
(and of course,
I really felt pretty bad for the duck)
I’m thinking it all had to do with
just how bad I hated boring cardio,
—- even back then.