Hair Raising

I’ve been thinking…
(which is always
dangerous,
ya know… )

Imagine an engine
trying to crank
with no fuel ,
and you’ve got
a pretty good idea
of what that looks like….

Still….

There does seem
to some subconscious
pattern to the posts
I’ve been writing the
last couple of days,
but I’ve yet to really
narrow down where
my head is at, exactly….

I do know that
if you find my hair,
my head may or
may not be
zipzattached to it.

My damned comb is
pulling out more
slivers of silver
than a Nevada
prospector these days.

Age is catching up with me,
despite my irritation about it –

–I’ve complained to anyone
who will listen,
but it ain’t helpin’ any.

Nuts.
electro

Anyhoo…

Somewhat on the subject —

A coupla months (years?)
ago, I did a semi-notorious
post about shaving —

and today, we’ll talk
about some other
weird ways
to de-hair yerself.

Cause you gotta admit,
taking a wicked sharp blade
to scrape your face
isn’t really all that normal
when you think about it.

But there are weirder.
Much weirder.

De-hair yourself?

Ok…..

Well, un-hair yerself, then.

Ummmm….

Ok, I guess for clarity,
maybe I should say
epilate or depilate yerself.glow

Hmmm….

Remove unwanted hair on yerself.

Better.

Me, I like hair —
— on my head.
On my back,
not so much.

But spreading lye all over my skin
doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea, either.

Oh man, sure people do —

Well, potassium hydroxide, anyway.
Close enough for me.

That’s called chemical depiliation…

But, aside from the potentials
for burning the skin
and making you smellmodene
like the Delaware River
for a couple of days,
it still doesn’t do anything
permanent to the unwanted hair.

Today, for permanent removal,
there are systems like:
electrolysis, (expensive)
and lasers, (very expensive)
and experimental super-duper technology
(that’s super duper expensive)
that I don’t pretend to be able
to understand, or afford.

Our predecessors had it
a little bit rougher, though.

ratsAnd the products THEY used…
well….

This product,
for instance. —–>>>>

Wait….

I’ve got the wrong picture there.

The same product,
just an ad for
the wrong target audience.

Because yes,
it was rat poison.

And yes,koremlu-1
it was sold as a depilatory.

Ahhh…
there’s the right version.  —->>>

It was called the “Koremlu Method”
and it the 1920’s and 1930’s
it was considered to be the cat’s py-jamas.

It was effective,
— oh yeah —
cause it was made with a
toxic material called Thallium —

kills rats, so, yeah- it killed hair, too.

No hair could live through THAT stuff, man.

And not something I’d want
to slather on MY skin, thanks.a1zip

Hey–
you still had more bad choices, though.

You could ZIP
and ZAP your hair away…

Radioactive radium
will do the trick every time.

Almost like magic.

Ask anybody who’s
‘had radiation’
and they’ll tell you.

Still,
not too good for you, honestly.
xray
And those damnable side effects
(interfering with profits and all)
are just as unpleasant for patients
who were convinced
by various ‘experts’ and quacks
that X-Rays
(yes, those X-Rays)
were the wave of the future —
as far as hair removal technology was concerned —

and that it would finally,
surely
do the trick for them…….. x

Fail.

It’s that human element again.

Tsk, Tsk.

So what’s a big business to do?

Hmmmm……..

Maybe a change of paradigm?

HOY !!!!

.

dimple

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Hair Raising

  1. Paloma says:

    Ok, the first kid is brilliant!

    But the rest of this is scary, man…… shudder!!!

    Except the dimple machine … lol!!

  2. hjonasson says:

    I tried waxing once. I rate that number 4 on my personal pain scale:
    1. Childbirth
    2. Kidney Stones
    3. Doctors trying to pop back in a broken nose
    4. waxing

    As for shaving (like a beard), I haven’t had to do that, but if I did, I would always think of the scene in “The Color Purple” where Ceelie is shaving Mister and you see that moment of “I could easily cut his throat” in her eyes.

  3. kerbey says:

    Just gonna stick with my Bic razor and soap please.

  4. HA! That first pic…I remember singing the “I like to move it, move it” song from the kid’s movie Madagascar and impressing some of my great-nephews! 😀 Well, yeah, they’re easily impressed. Like I am. 😉 😛

    “de-hair” is a great word! 😀 And all of those de-hair ads are a hoot! 😮 😛

    Not-Hairy-HUGS!!! 🙂

Leave a Comment -- I'd Love to Hear From You !

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s