———— of old “Spirit Boards”.
I laughed —
I went over to see
her burgeoning collection
the other day,
and I was frankly
at both the style variety,
and the number of
that have been sold
over the years,
since the craze started
around the turn
of the last century.
I mean, it’s human nature,
I guess —
$1.98 does seem
affordable enough )
You could ask
with no answers —
Does she really like me,
or is she just using me
to get NBA tickets?
You could learn the unknowable —
Why is lemon juice
made with artificial crap,
and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
If the professor on
could make a radio out of coconuts,
why can’t he fix a
simple hole in a boat?
Why was the Holy Roman Empire neither Holy nor Roman?
Who first thought of putting Braille on ATM drive-up machines?
Like that hottie from down the streets’ name,
and phone number
and email address ..
Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff
those indestructible black boxes are made out of?
And you could commune with the mysteries of the spirit world and ask —
What does a hot girl-ghost
see in a wimp
like Casper, anyway?
Aren’t all cheap Motels really just
badly disguised gateways into the nether regions?
Or is it just their bathrooms ?
Hell, if these ‘talking boards’ really did work,
it’d be better than owning a pair of X-Ray specks.
And boy howdy, did they.
There were more than 100 different varieties
on the theme manufactured
(under various brand names)
between the time the first commercially produced one in 1891
and their peak of popularity in the 1970’s.
The name “Ouija” is supposedly an
Ancient Egyptian word meaning “good luck”,
but that’s hogwash —
And while the boards are rather fun to look at,
the real whiz-bang is in what’s called the “planchette” —
— based on a tool from a thousand year old
Chinese idea of ‘automatic writing’.
This is the item that moves across the surface
of the talking board like magic.
All you gotta do is get a couple of friends
( – tight –
….. yeah, that’s it.
a little more to the left…. )
the spirits will do the rest.
that’s what they say,