Look Deep Inside

I guess the
old saying
that fore-warned
is fore-armed
(if that’s what it was?)
is somewhat applicable
on this post….

Today’s post
threatens
to break all
our previous records
for mediocrity,
and reality-based-
but-still-pretty-
questionable humor.

Why some folks keep
ickreading this blog
if they got so many
complaints about it,
well, I got no idea.

I mean,
sure,
I complain about it, too,

But I have to read it –
– cause I write it.

Oh well. 1

Let me start ya off with a quiz —

Don’t worry —
…the score won’t
go on your
permanent record.

What does this
look like to you?

At first glance,
you probably noticed
that this is an X-Ray
of somebody’s lower abdomen.

But…
“what is that obstruction?”
….. you might be asking.

I’ll give you a hint.

His first name is Buzz.

Now, just in case
you think I’m besmirching
the good name of that guy
who was the
second man on the moon….buzzl

(Talk about going
where no man
has gone before…. )

Nope…

………….. it’s this guy.

Buzz Lightyear.

Actually a toy —

Or should I say, an action figure.

And how.

No wonder he’s wearing a helmet.

Yes, my friends,

while the story of just how Buzz Lightyear ended up making that long, treacherous journey up into some individual’s bowels is lost to the morass of medical memory– shoved

(….. and the whole patient confidentiality thing…. )

…….. you can still revel in the marvels of at least 100 different things,
that have been somehow been shoved and stuck up into somebody in this book:

“Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted And Ingested In Places They Shouldn’t Be”

by a couple medical doctors,
Rich Dreben, Murdoc Knight, and Marty Sindhian.

In the aforementioned book,
you will be regaled by tails of ….

Wait…

a1aTales of:
light bulbs,
IPods,
shoes,
sunglasses,
perfume bottles,
soda cans,
coat hangers,
Barbie dolls,
jars of peanut butter
( crunchy style, of course ) ,
and other assorted every day ephemera
which ended up getting stuck ,
…… well, up there.

Pictures, too —
plenty of em.c

Here’s one featuring
a candy cane.

BAD Santa.

( I did warn that kid to stop complaining about the crap
he got on Christmas. )

The list of vegetable matter
in particular is impressive…

including:

Cucumbers,ajar
Onions,
Parsnips,
Apples,
Bananas,
Potatoes,
Salamis,
Turnips,
Zucchinis,
Plantains,

……… at least it’s nice to
know some folks are still
concerned about their nutrition.

And precautions, too —
….. the plantain had a
condom on it.aouch

Don’t want a lotta little plantains running around…

Or catch one of them plantain diseases we’ve been hearing so much about.

( I think I’m getting
carn-fuzed, here. )

There were also some interesting sharp objects on the list…

Like Ice Picks,
Screwdrivers,
Umbrellas,
A Jewelers Saw,
….. ya know, stuff like that.

Oh, and a bottle of
Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup.cassettetape

Mmmmm….. mapley.

So, anyhoo…

Y’all run right out
and buy that book.

I don’t want anybody thinking
I’m the only bastion of bad taste,
ya know.

Hey!!!

— so, that’s where my old
“Peter Frampton Live” cassette went !!!!

HOY!

.

xray

.

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Look Deep Inside

  1. mislucja says:

    Not sure about Peter Frampton, but they can stick Rick Astley up there 😉

  2. HA! Egads! 😮 😀 (I snort-laughed AND I squealed!) Wild stuff to be swallowing! 😮

    Oh! I’ve swallowed lots of seed, but it stays down nicely…no x-ray needed!
    HUGS!!! 😀

  3. ktz2 says:

    Just goes to show there is no shortage of really, really stupid and/or disturbed people !

  4. hjonasson says:

    Well I was looking for more books to read this summer. This one will be great to get a set of seats to myself when I’m on the subway.

Leave a Comment -- I'd Love to Hear From You !

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s