Cooking Claptrap

It’s always nice to
get interesting
picture submissions —
although sometimes,
it can be an exercise
in ambivalence.

My friend Jen was nice
enough to send me a
couple of vintage recipe
cards that made me
very happy,
and awful queasy,
at the same time. 

After all —
the above recipe card
calls for making
something called
” Crown Roast
Of Frankfurters “-

— in other words,
Hot Dog-A-La-Fancy-Pants.

I dunno how many words
I can find to express my
horror at this idea, but :

YUCK
REPULSIVE
GROSS
OVERBLOWN
and NASTY
come immediately to mind.

We’re not even gonna try
to deduce what that
off-white whipped looking
crap ( with pimentos? )
is on top of that mess —

Carrots?
Yeah,
so maybe they’re carrots.

Even worse.

Oh, and look —
it’s got Broccoli, too.

Can you say :
Burn The Cook At The Stake ?

Yeah.
Simple torture’s not good
enough for him, man.

Look.
I don’t have anything
against hot-dogs….

I love a giant all-beef dog
served Chicago style.

But don’t crap in my bowl
and tell me it’s
molasses and oatmeal.

That’s just wrong,
man, wrong.

And then,
for a side course,
I guess you could have
the ‘Jello and Limp
Leftover Vegetables’ salad…..

AUUUUGGGGHHH
— my poor digital tummy !!!!!!

I’m almost speechless at
the level of feeble, uninspired,
commercialized-crapola-cooking
shown in these recipes.

What I can say is –
these aren’t the only
horrible vintage
recipes out there.

And you can rest assured,
we here at the
Muscleheaded Blog
will keep you updated
and informed about ’em
as we find em.

Hey-
we’re only doing our duty.

!!!!! CHEERS !!!!!!

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Cooking Claptrap

  1. Ha! Even the names are enough to scare a person into “Not hungry!”! 😀 😛
    In college they served us “Mystery Meat” and “Surprise Soup” and “Everthing-But-The-Kitchen-Sink Stew”. Well, that’s the names we gave those dishes! 😮
    Those old recipe books are a hoot! 😀
    HUGS!!! 😛

  2. mislucja says:

    No food with “surprise” in the name should ever be cooked – by anyone, at anytime! Ugh!

    Neither should one drink anything with “trash can” in the name. o.O

    Makes me think of “Cabin Pressure”. The flight attendant makes something called “Surprising Rice”. The pilots ask what’s in it and he refuses to tell them, saying “That would completely ruin the spirit of surprising rice.” 😀

  3. Mrs Fever says:

    Oh dear, you mis-spelled steak… 😛

    I love how the old ’70s magazine photos – of food and everything else – have that greenish-yellow cast to them. Probably to better match the Harvest Gold refrigerators and Avacado shag carpeting in readers’ homes.

  4. ktz2 says:

    With all the sleight of hand they can do to make a food photo look good– if they can’t even do that for a picture you know it means trouble… everything there looks really bad !

  5. GP Cox says:

    … and where is this kitchen exactly? 🙂

Leave a Comment -- I'd Love to Hear From You !

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s