Garde Your Manger

fareObscure title, huh?

Not if you work
in the restaurant biz,
it ain’t.

I was having
(or trying to have)
dinner at my local
greasy spoon —

— and it was taking
long enough for Caesar
to have grown his salad
from seed –

– so I inquired about it-
(very nicely, I might add-
— always be kind if you a2
expect to be able to eat
what you order, and
without any ‘special sauce‘).

The manager went back to
find out what was up-
and I heard the cook
yell at her that the wait
couldn’t be helped,
cause he was agnmae
quote: “In The Weeds“.

(We were obviously seated in
the preferred seating section,
(AKA: “Bob Uecker’s table”
— right next to the kitchen ).

She shouted back at him
that she needed that
‘Blue Plate‘ ‘on the fly‘ ,
and to ‘86 the B.S.’ ! ”

Uh huh.
So, what about
MY meal,
I wondered….
athat
— cause I didn’t order
anything blue, or with
flying insects on it.

Further, I didn’t know
diners had combination
plates like the Dragon Palace,
cause I always order
the number 23 there.

Of course, I’m saying this
with some tongue planted
firmly into cheek —

(and that’s a pretty good
arrangement in the right await
kinda company…. )

— since my daughter works
in a restaurant – but, it is
genuinely funny how
different the language
can get in the heat of
the professional kitchen.

Assuming your local
diner qualifies –
which in my case,
I’m not all that sure of.

Ahem.

And, yes, bute
thanks for asking,
I did finally get my
Chicken Caesar salad–

— although just what the
hell I was thinking in
ordering anything fancier
than a scrambled egg
on toast (otherwise known
as ‘wrecked chicks on a raft‘)
or a baked potato
with sour cream
(‘a blonde hot Murphy‘ )
in that dump is beyond me.

Anyhoo– let’s talk about
a couple of the morea1
interesting idioms..

Eggs seem to have several
special terminologies
dedicated to them
depending on the region
and who/what’s cooking:

‘Cackle berries’
‘Egnosticz’

‘Hen Fruit’
‘Googs’
‘Chickies/Chicks/Chicklets’

And you can get them
in a large variety of styles –

‘Wreck Em’
(scrambled )atip

‘Scregged’
( really scrambled)

‘Shell Angels’
(hard boiled)

‘A Hub Cap’
(sunny side up)

‘Scotched’
(breaded, stuffed,
and then deep fried)

‘Puddle in a Golf Ball’
(soft boiled)

‘Dead Eye’
(1 poached )

‘Adam and Eve’
(2 poached)

‘Flop Two’
(fried over easy)

‘Gus-Burgered’
( add hamburger) —

and
‘ Doing The Eggman ‘
( umm– you’ll have to look
that one up for yourself
——  hint: Eric Burdon.
Sorry, I’m got side-tracked)

Ahem.

Hot dogs, too,
as you might expect,
have more than
their fair share —

‘Coney Island Chicken’
‘Bowsers’
‘Bun Pup’
‘Hosers’
‘Tube Steak’
‘Ripper’ (a deep fried hot dog)

And once you start
adding condiments,
well, better bring a
local cook or
at least a lexicon —

Breathe On It ” –
add onion.

Pitch In The Hay ” –
add sauerkraut.

With Frog Sticks “-
add French Fries.

Give It A Hemorrhage ” –
add ketchup.

Paint It Yellow ” –
add mustard.

On The Hoof ” –
cooked rare.

Pittsburgh Style” –
scorched.

Waxed ” –
add American cheese.
(YUK)
Pull Me A Shot
From Hotlanta
” –
add a Coke.

Save The Slush ” –
Ugh, no ice in that Coke.

And, as you can quite
plainly tell, there’s way
too many of these1905
things to list em all….
which, of course,
means you’ll be seeing
a sequel about the
subject soon enough
right here on this
channel, so stay tuned.

In the meantime,
keep yourself
Sunny Side Up ” !

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

ymoon

 

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Garde Your Manger

  1. Funny stuff! 😛
    Now I’m hungry! 😮
    Growing up (and while in college) I always found jobs NOT in food service. I figured I was not wired for food service jobs for several reasons. HA!
    HUGS!!! 😀

  2. mislucja says:

    Next time I’ll ask for a Blonde Hot Murphy and see what happens. 😉
    Around here, a fried egg with the yolk runny is called a “dippy” egg. Yes, you ask for dippy eggs. o.O

    Goo goo goo-joob. o.O

Leave a Comment -- I'd Love to Hear From You !

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s