Better Manners In Bed

Of all the places
I would think you
should exercise some
courtesy and manners,
perhaps the most
important place would
be in bed.

After all, it should
be a happy place –
– a friendly place –
a place where
joy abounds.

So, maybe
the thought of somebody
considering a book teaching
things like bedroom manners
to be necessary bugs me
just a little bit.

Then again,
it shouldn’t surprise
anybody, in this world
where please and
thank you’s are becoming
increasingly rare-ified.

Hell, what fun is a
weekend without
at least one good
thank you ma’am
may I have another?“,
I ask you ?

Oooops,
boy,
do I digress.

The books that opened our
post today were originally
printed in the 1930’s — so,
there was a lot of stuff like
how to share a sleeping
compartment on a train,
references to hot water
bottles, and the like —

Suzie Wonder and I
figured we might be
able to do better.

Hence, this post,
a single chapter of what
I’m sure will become an
annoyingly regular part
of the Muscleheaded blog
family.

Not near the 130 some pages
of the original, but then, I’m
not gonna send you a bill for
$19.95 either………

Unless, of course,
you’d be willing
to pay it.

Which is probably
out of the
question, right ?

Oh well.

Anyhoo ……….

I think we can boil this chapter
all down to an old fashioned
virtue called “consideration”-

For instance,
– jammies.

If you’d like your significant
other to ever be interested in
you in ‘that way’ again,
you should never wear
anything that reminds one
of a Canadian winter .

Even if it is
Canadian
winter outside.

Flannel is right out.

So are ‘footies’ ,
or anything that makes
you look like a ‘furry’.

Come on –
you really
should know better.

Suzie’s contribution is
this:

– that you should never,
never, never wear those
‘elephant trunk’ shorts
to bed unless she
specifically asks you
to wear them.

( And she won’t ).

I tend to agree —
as a practical matter,
there’s no sense in
reminding anyone
of one’s ….
errr….
shortcomings,
ya know.

Next…..

I think it’s always helpful
to have things clean and
shipshape…
– to smell good, so your
S.O. doesn’t want to send
out an S.O.S.
( save our stink )  .

Suzie says men should
always shave before they
go to bed.

Her reasoning has something
to do with the disagreeable
nature of cuddling a brillo-pad.

She says that a man can’t really
expect a woman to warm up to
a man whose face scrapes away
soft, silky, moisturized skin
faster than industrial paint
remover.

I definitely get her point……

A quick five minute going
over with an electric razor
might encourage all sorts of
other more timely adventures.

Good thinking, Suzie.

Now,
we’ve been having a
more spirited conversation
as regards to who should get
up in the middle of the night
to take the dog out if such
an eventuality should occur.

My feeling is that the duty
should be rotated –

Her feeling is that if she
rolls over and goes back
to sleep, that means that
you have to do it.

( And she will. )

See how helpful
this stuff is?

!!! HOY !!!

.

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6 thoughts on “Better Manners In Bed

  1. John says:

    Terrific. But sometimes I do like my wife’s fuzzy jammies; I don’t have a choice, really. From November through March she’s all flannel and footies. Maybe I should tell her they are not proper, according to a well-respected book.

  2. HA! Very helpful! 😀
    But, I’d still like to sneak a peek in those books! Especially the “Better” one! Wonder what they discovered after writing the first book! *snort* 😛
    Good contributions, Suzie! But, I never mind a little whisker-burn or rug-burn! 😉 HA! 😀
    HUGS!!! 🙂
    PS…fun funny cartoons!

  3. Loved this story…
    xx
    Sooz

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