It’s Mail Call

a1It’s Mail Call !!!

During my time
in Navy boot camp,
all those years ago,

(yow-
time flies, huh?)

I can still remember
how much
we could always
look mailcallforward
to Mail Call —

It was then
that you got
all the goodies
from home
(if you had any)

that your loved
ones sent ya
(if you had any) —

and catch up on
your romantic
entanglementsa6
(if you had any) —

and otherwise,
share the wealth
with your buddies
(if you had any).

Of course,
that’s when the
bad news and
‘Dear John’ letters
came, too.

It’s much easier
to tell somebody
you’re taking up
with his best friend by mail —
especially when you know
he can’t just come
home right away.

So, it does happen –
– a lot.

Still, a boxload of
Grandma’s cookiespopular
would make it all
better, man.

Even if it was
somebody else’s
Grandma who made ’em.

Hey-
sharing is caring.

And now,
with the able assistance
of the Müscleheaded Blog —
avy
you, too, can experience
all the magic and mystery
of military mail call,

without all the inconvenience of:

having some big,
ugly Master Chief
screaming at you
to get your lazy ass
out of the rack for
reveille every morning —forgotten

without all the
rigmarole of:

folding and refolding
shirts, pants and underwear
over and over
and over and over  —

without all the silliness of:

making a bunk with
‘hospital corners’
so tight you could
bounce a quarter of it….a9

and without the pain of:

stowing your gear
in a lock box so small
you couldn’t keep
4 rubbers and a
full sized pin up
of Brigitte Bardot in it….

(not that you’d
need those rubbers,
anyway )

Ahem.

To give you a feeling
of what that
experience was like,
well….
it always started with
a bunch of guys
milling arounda4
trying to look like
they were busy —

Cause if you didn’t look busy,
the Navy could always find
something for you to do.

— you know,
like shining boots
that already reflected
your D.I’s face
better than a new
chrome bumper,a8

or walking around
with a clip-board
and occasionally making
a random check mark
or drawing a doodle —

Or, if the ‘smoking
lamp’ was lit —
well,
you were busy keeping
RJ Reynolds in business,
with a smoke in one hand,a1
and some Navy coffee
in the other.

You can always tell
if it’s Navy coffee —
cause it’ll eat through the bottom of a Styrofoam cup.

It’s not bitter exactly.
‘Harsh’ is more the word…..

Sorta like ‘Roseanne Barr
singing the National
Anthem’ in a mug.a99

Try facing THAT
first thing
in the morning, man.

So, anyway —

A guy would come in
with a huge mail bag
looking a bit like Santa,
(sans reindeer)
and start mispronouncing
last names.a5

I get how
somebody could
mangle MY name —
it’s Polish and has more consonants
than Roseanne Barr
has bad jokes.

But just how hard
do you have to work at it
to get ‘Jones’
or even ‘Smith’ wrong ?????a7

John Q. Bluejacket —
that one,
they’d get right, I bet.

There’d just be too
many of us, though.

He’d start handing out
envelopes and packages —
and if you were very lucky,a3
eventually he’d hand you
one or two.

Now, I know it
doesn’t sound all
that exciting,
but when you’ve been essentially
cut off from contact
with the outside world
for 9 weeks,
it was a big thing, baby.

Christmas, New Years,
and Halloween all in one.a2

Best thing ever, it seemed.

Especially since there
wasn’t such thing
anything remotely
like a conjugal mail call.

At least not that I
heard about, anyway.

HOY !!!!

a1

>

 

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2 thoughts on “It’s Mail Call

  1. Thank you for sharing your memories…and for the great postcards! 🙂
    I know mail and goodie boxes were GREAT moral boosters!
    HUGS!!! 🙂

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