Fix Yer Face

” You have a beautiful face.

But your nose ? “

One thing you can say about ads up to the early 1900’s, they certainly didn’t spare anybody’s feelings when it came to selling stuff.

And there were products
that claimed to fix any
aspects of ones’ personal
physical appearance that
one may be a little sensitive

Adults, and children.

Does it seem reasonable
that wearing a facial
harness for months on
end would be preferable
to living your life with
the nose you were born
with ?

I personally don’t see
a damn thing wrong
with that nose……
or this lady’s chin,

It’s kinda cute,

Just pull the cord
and give the flesh
resiliency and
freshness of youth.

Yeah, right.

But if making you
feel bad about
whatever tiny
imperfections you
may have is going
to help somebody
turn a profit, well,
you can count on it
going down that
way, for sure.

Specially constructed
shoes with wooden
blocks in them to
boost your height –
they sound comfy,
now, don’t they ?

Can’t get into
your favorite dress?

Intestinal worms will
fix that little weight
issue for ya…..

And, yep,
they sold em.


All you had to do was
take a pill filled with
tapeworm eggs –

– the eggs hatched in
your gut, and consumed
a part of anything eaten.

No diet necessary. 

Of course, there is a
slight problem with
the idea-

– you now
had worms.

All you had
to do is
try to get
rid of em.

But if you had the
opposite weight issue,
well, there were lots of
things that would put
water-weight or fat on
ya in a hurry.



Oh, please,
not when
it comes to
making money.

Now that
I think of it,
I’m not sure modern
and medical companies
are all that much better………..


! HOY !



18 thoughts on “Fix Yer Face

  1. dievca says:

    Nose rebuilt from crashing is enough for me…and the worms, they don’t mention the pain…..

  2. YarrowHill says:

    Mom would have stuck me on that Scott’s Emulsion. I was born anemic. And as much as I’d like to say I wouldn’t have taken the other stuff, I was bullied so much as a teen ….

  3. hjonasson says:

    I totally would have fallen for this. I have a crooked nose and would try putting tape pulling it to the other side at night when I was younger (didn’t work!)

  4. HA! This stuff is so wild! 😮
    And a shame people wasted their hard earned money on it.
    Oh, well…live and learn and eat worms. 😉
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  5. ktz2 says:

    Hand in hand with this nonsense were the liquid elixers for ‘tired blood’ and a hundred other ailments– that had alcohol, cocaine, even heroin ! which was legal over the counter until the early 1900s ! yikes

  6. Jules says:

    Every year the modern pharmaceutical and medical companies seem to flip flop on what is the right meds. I really dislike all the commercials – you’d think your own doc would know what you need. But then just as now there are gullible folks.

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