The Express Elevator To Nowhere

Folks don’t understand
sometimes just how
difficult it is being
one of WordPress’s
least loved blogs.

Hey,
it takes a
huge
non-commitment
of wasted time
and
useless resources
to bring you this
modicum of
mediocrity,
such as it is.

I won’t kid you
and tell you that
other interests
and distractions
don’t often
interfere with
getting this
whole mess of
a Muscleheaded
Blog put together
and posted on time
every day.

Lots of stuff
on
the proverbial plate.

Especially
for such
an unfashionably
obstreperous guy
like me with such
a short attention span.

As constructive
an activity
as it might seem
to be….winona

….. searching the
internet for stray
Winona Ryder
in-the-bathtub pictures
(that I haven’t
already seen)
can sure consume an
awful amount of a
man’s free time.

( Ok,
there’s one for you……..

Jeez–
next time,
do your owna1
‘research’, pal. )

Ahem.

Getting back to
the subject
at hand for just a mo….

( since she won’t
move hers… )

It ain’t easy being
such an unknown and unappreciated Jean-Yuss
of the fabulous world of
blogging.

After all,
it would be virtually
impossible to writea3
all those crummy posts
about what happened
to me at the gym today,

…..if I didn’t actually
darken the door of the
place once in a while.

( Of course, you don’t
need to live there like
I do, I guess… )

Ah well…
You gotta
write from
experience,
Hemingway.

And all the
expensive
trappings of
this blog,
— you think
these fancy
frills like words
comes cheap?

I woulda retired
years ago,
if it weren’t for my
punctuation bill, alone—

……… that,
and the fact that
I like to eat
once
in a while.

Free time’s
hard to come by,
…………. and so are topics
I feel like writing about.

As I get older,a121
it seems like it gets
harder and harder
to find the energy to
do stuff that I ain’t
enthusiastic about.

And you can just
ask my boss about it,
— if you don’t believe me.

Years ago,
he’d say ‘ travel ‘,
I’d say “where’s my passport?” .

Now, he says ‘ travel ‘,
I tell him that
just calling somebody
on the phone 
anywhere
west of the Mississippi
wears me out,slip

………… and anyway,
my parka and muk’luks
are at the cleaners.

Several longtime
readers and friends
like to exchange ideas
about blog topics with me,

and they’re usually full of wonderful concepts
that would make engaging and entertaining posts.

Which is terrific.
…… only, we are talking
about THIS blog.

Engaging
and entertaining?

Oh, posh.pool

So anyhoo…..

I decided to follow
this weird line
of thought about
why stuff interests me.

I just hope I don’t
say something stupid.

Uhhh…. yeah.

Women, for instance.

I’d love to blog about women
every cotton-picking day.

I like em.

All shapes,
sizes,
ages,
and types.

As a group,
they’re interesting,
beautiful,sallyfield
funny,
sexy,
fun to look at,

and a whole lot
more joy to be
around, than guys —

………. especially the guys that constitute 99%
of the people I’m
around at the gym,
or at work.

(Yes, that’s Sally)

But I can’t blog
about
women every day,

because,
although it would
never get monotonous
for ME,

….. it might not be
all that readable day
in and day out for
my group of
hardcore readersaedit

(like my Mom and
those few others),

possessing obviously
discriminating taste
in blogs,

but who would probably
not appreciate
being mentioned by name,
I’m sure.

Well, lessee….

Music is always
fun to post about….

Originally,
I had it in mind
to post another oneborntoadd
about the Best Rock
and Roll Album Covers…..

(boy, are you
already sick of
album covers,
huh? )

I got to thinking
about ones I liked
that I hadn’t previously
mentioned…

And then,

I ran into this one.

It completely messed
up my train of thought.

I was suddenly on the
express elevator
to a raving post about
nothing and nowhere.

‘Cause, as great
an album cover
Bruce Springsteen’s
Born To Run” was,

Without question,
this cover is better.

And that’s how stuff works.

You think you got your mind
sharpened to a razor’s edge….

Your concentration
is rock steady —

You’re feeling passionately
committed to saying
what you wanna say.

…… you start toduck
write fervently–
feverously, even.

And then, something
comes along
and knocks your GBS
( global blogging system )
off line.

Suddenly, the post has gone
completely off course.

It almost seems
like some kinda conspiracy–

yeah
— a conspiracy….

to get me so addled that
I won’t be able to do
anything but blow
little bubbles of spittle—

—while babbling about
ancient watermelon-worship cults

and fun places to eat when you
happen to be visiting
French Lick, Indiana.

Boy,
that reminds
me of something.

Talk about Freudian slips.

.

freud

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6 thoughts on “The Express Elevator To Nowhere

  1. HA! 😀 Wellza, you and your blog are favs in my book! 😉 🙂
    HUGS!!! 🙂

  2. Jules says:

    …Here’s an idea for a post companies that contradict themselves.
    Well sorta anyways. Like on the subject of elevators. One company we passed somewhere out mid west or so – and Elevator company didn’t appear to have more than one floor! Maybe they had a basement we couldn’t see… Well that’s all I got so far.

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