Feeling Some Felix

I bet you
remember this cat.

But just in case that
whole ‘memory loss’
thing they’ve always
warned you about
has finally kicked
on in…..

His name is Felix,
and I guess you could
say that he was just
about everyone’s favorite
mischievous feline
back in the 1900’s. 

You know,
before most of
the famous
pussy cats of
stage, screen
and all that,
like:
Morris the Cat,
Sylvester the Cat,
Garfield the Cat,
Grumpy the Cat,
Fritz the Cat,
and that Cat Chick that used
to be on the Cheetah strip
joint sign down in Pompano —

— but —

not before
Krazy Kat
or
the Cheshire Cat…..

— there was Felix.

Still, even if those
other two do predate
ole Felix,
they don’t have him beat
when it comes to postcards —

– by far, Felix was featured
in more vintage cards than
any of those other pussies.

Not to mention
comic books,
films, cartoons,
and all kinds
of ephemera and kitsch.

Sure, now you
remember, right?

Did you know that Felix
wasn’t his original name,
though?

It’s true –

the first incarnation of
Felix the Cat was in the
1919 movie “Feline Follies”-
and he was called
” Master Tom “.

(no, ‘Major’ Tom
was an astronaut. —
– hey, stop trying to
distract me ! )

After several cinematic
appearances, the popular
character was renamed Felix
– a linguistic pun of the
words ‘ Felis ‘ / ‘ Feliz ‘ –
thus, ‘Happy Cat’ .

His first film after that
was ” Adventures of Felix ” ,
also in 1919, but his first
‘talkie’ wasn’t made until
1929.

That same year, 1929,
RCA was experimenting
with a television broadcast
system – and the first image
transmitted was a test
pattern (still) featuring
Felix the Cat- –
a test that lasted four hours.

TV signals travel at
the speed of light —
— so, let’s see now:
at 186,282 miles per second,
which is about 670,616,629
miles per hour, and that
broadcast was 89 years ago,

( oh no — math again??? )

so anyway…….
if you carry the 4,
cross your t’s,
and dot your i’s,
and then punch all that
perplexing numerical
complexity into
your handy-dandy
1970’s era
Texas Instruments
hand calculator……

and after all the figures
are considered, it just
stands to reason that
somewhere out there
in deep space, a funny
looking little green man
named XWZWY
( his friends just
call him ‘wizzy‘)
in the Wolf-110 star system
way out in the Pisces
constellation should be
picking up 4 hours
of Felix in glorious
black and white on
his antennas any day now.

And if you think he’ll
be excited now, well,
boy, howdy — just wait
until the Playboy channel
feed starts showing up —
– about 50 years from now.

He’ll probably
have to watch
that like I did —
(cause neither of
us paid for it)
— all jumpy and
semi-scrambled —

Let’s just hope
that his libido
holds out that long.

Uh oh —
I think I just
stepped out
on the off-topic
plank again.

Well, shiver me timbers
and stay that mizzenmast
me hearties.

Arrrrrgh.

Errr….
I mean…..

!!! HOY !!!!

.

.

 

 

 

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Let The Mail Bag Take You

Hey man, just where
did THAT week
go already ?

Time for another
exciting, mind-elevating
and positively dizzying
trip through the Muscleheaded Blog’s
Mailbag.

I’m also happy to say,
that some of
this week’s mail was
too dirty to actually post,
and that despite those
pieces not getting to appear,
— I really did appreciate em.

I really did.

Keep up the good work.

It makes the mailbag
one joyful place to dip
into, lemme tell you.

But, we’ve still got
plenty of stuff we
CAN post —

– and it’s ok if it’s not
dirty enough not to
qualify, it really is.

And you know Your Ole
Uncle Nuts is gonna find
a way of making it dirty,
anyway, so –

Just let it take you.

Hey-
fun is where
you find it.

— Ahem.

For you new readers whose
poor innocent minds
haven’t been sufficiently
warped by this blog, yet,
let me just advise you that
it will happen if you hang
around here long enough.

Whether that’s a promise
or a threat is something that
is also yet to be determined.

But,
welcome, in any case.

I’ve been trying to stick today
with postcards and stuff from
the first third of the 20th
century……..

Let me know how
you think
I’m doing —

I never was too good
with fractions.

That said, I’ll leave you
with a quote that comes
to mind from Leo Tolstoy: 

“A man is like a fraction
whose numerator is what
he is and whose denominator
is what he thinks of himself.
The larger the denominator,
the smaller the fraction.”

!!! HOY !!!!

Miss Myrna Loy – 1932

 

The Friday Grab Bag

Hey,
mail bag,
grab bag.

Call it what you
want,
— it’s Friday.

So, for today’s deal,
I grabbed a bunch of
Albert Peter Carmichael
posties from around 1910.

He was a pretty famous
syndicated cartoonist in
the first part of the 20th century,
and very popular with postcard
publishers.

If you ain’t a newbie
round here, you’ve
probably already
seen a lot of his work here
on the Muscleheaded Blog.

Our batch today-
(the series is called “IF”)
have a funny vibe
that seem both
completely out of date
and current at the
same time.

I dunno…..

I can definitely see
myself sending a
couple of these —

Cause love can be a
minefield ya know.

Ahh.

But what would life
be without it?

You might get the impression
from some of these cards that
the girls back then could be
rather difficult at times.

Ahem.

Well,
Carmichael’s characters
never lack for pathos,
and that’s for sure.

And when all else fails,
there’s always beer.

!!! HOY !!!!

You Got Me Sticky

I don’t drink it
a lot anymore….

but when I was
a kid, boy, did I
have a yen
for soda pop.

I wasn’t allowed to
have it, usually
(it’s ‘bad for your teeth’)
but every once in a while,
we as a family would
get ourselves invited
to my great-uncle Frank’s house –

— and his eleven kids had no
such draconian dental health
decree hanging over them …

so I could practically drown
in the stuff over there –

when my parents weren’t
looking, anyway.

And drink my fill,
I surely did.

So much so, that now,
I barely can tolerate
the stuff.

Maybe the substitution of
HFCS (high fructose corn syrup)
for sugar is part of the problem..

– but truthfully, I just don’t
need all those empty calories,
anyway.

Despite being in the gymImage result for vintage soda poster
five days a week, my weight
has started to challenge me
a bit at my age, and the
trade off between a bottle
of soda pop and an extra
hour of cardio hardly seems
worth it.

(Exception:
if you’re a Southerner,
try to find some
Blenheim Ginger Ale
– the one with the red cap —
— I highly recommend it —
assuming you love
ginger, like I do )

It’s also true that a lot of the
really cool soda brands that
I liked are all gone now…

Hell, as a teenager,
I even liked the
original Fresca.

Remember old Coke in
those 6 ounce bottles ?

Cold as the iceberg that
sank the Titanic .

Ahhh…..
man, that was good.

Yes, you can still get original
Coke in 6 ounce bottles
(with sugar and not HFCS )
— in Mexico.

Interesting.

It tastes like you
remember it, too.

I won’t bother meditating 
on why such a thing
is such a thing.

Just another reason to look
forward to going back to the
Yucatan, s’all.

(Don’t forget the fish tacos
and the pretty señoritas. )

Anybody remember
the old fable about how
you could get a cheap
high off an RC Cola
and aspirin?

Nope.
It doesn’t work.

But the making a rocket out
of a 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke
and Mentos really does —
— stand way back, jack !!!

I hope you don’t mind getting
sticky soda all over everything.

Ah well.
Sticky ain’t always bad, right ?

!! HOY !!

.

Back Seat Front Seat

In an era where they
can’t seem to stop
talking about driver-less automated cars,
it seems somehow appropriate that we
post on a concept
that has kinda become
a figure of fun, intentionally
or not, by today’s drivers –
– drivers licenses.

I’m sorry
(no, I’m not)-
and I hate to gripe
(no, I don’t) –
but it seems to me that
the quality of education
programs for new drivers,
and the skill level of
even experienced drivers
these days, is pretty
damned rotten,
generally speaking.

Bring back those horrifying
driver’s education films of
the 1950’s and 1960’s like
” Signal 30 “,
” Blood On The Highway”
” Signs of Life ”
” Drive and Survive ”
” Mechanized Death ”
and “Hell’s Highway” , man.

(I’d link some of them, but
I still get nightmares from
” Blood On The Highway ” )

I don’t know if it’s all
the padding, air bags,
belts, alerts, alarms,
computer controlled
parking devices and
other such millarkey
that new cars are
built with,
but yow, man –
is it dangerous out there.

Drivers today just don’t have
that healthy look of terror
that baby boomers learned
to have before they started
a 4000 pound car to go
hurtling 70 miles per hour
down the average pot-holed
and badly maintained highway.

And I’m thinking it might
be part of some evil conspiracy
to convince the remaining
good drivers out there
( you know who you iz )
that we could actually
BENEFIT from the whole
automatic car thing –

– which of course,
is absolute horseshit.

It will drive insurance rates up,
road taxes up,
vehicle registrations up,
and make it almost impossible
for average Joe to afford
to operate his own car,
especially vintage ones.

It won’t just keep BAD
drivers off the road –
it’ll keep us ALL off em.

Unless you got a gold plated
comb-over that is.

I know it, you know it —
but they’re still gonna
try and do it.

Try, my ass –
they will do it.

And it don’t sound like
there’s a damned thing
we can do about it.

Nuts.

Anyhoo…
I came up with a couple of
pieces of trivia about driving ,
that I thought might make me
feel better about the future.

Cause, when you think about it,
the past was pretty stupid, too.

Did you know:

The first driver’s license
in the world, in 1888, was
issued to Karl Benz in the
Grand Duchy of Baden.
(now part of Germany).
And yes- that Karl Benz.
And no, it wasn’t a 450 SL.

In 1899, the cities of New York
and Chicago became the first
places in the United States
to require a license.

Anne Rainsford French Bush
became the first licensed
female driver in 1900 –
and she drove for over
50 years without an accident.

The first state to require
an examination before licensing
was Maryland – in 1910.

Most states didn’t follow
suit until the 1930’s.

South Dakota didn’t even
require a license until 1954,
or a test until 1959, and
still maintains the lowest
age requirement in the U.S.
– 14 1/4 years old.

That the first ‘modern’
three light traffic signal
was invented by a Chicago
Police Officer ?

Before that, cars on urban
streets were manually directed
by live officers, sometimes
in tall ‘traffic towers’.

In the United States,
it’s referred to as a “Driver’s License ” ….

– and in Britain a ” Driving Licence “,

and in Canada (like Britain)
the word ” licence ” is
spelled with two c’s.

The world’s first drive-in
restaurant was Kirby’s Pig
Stand in Dallas, Texas –
the year ? 1921.
Mmmm…. bbq and cars –
an unbeatable combination.

Add a pretty girl, and :
the world’s first drive-in
movie theatre was opened
in Camden, New JerseyImage result for spooning in the car vintage
(across the bridge from
Philadelphia) in the
summer of 1933.

If things went …
ummm…
well..,
if they progressed
in a certain way from
there, you know,
there was also the first drive
through wedding chapel,
which was opened in
Las Vegas in 1951’s .

Drive through divorce?

Naaah —
You shoulda taken those
movies about wrecks much
more seriously, man.

!!! HOY !!!

.

PS:
OK — here’s one.
Don’t watch it too close to bedtime.

Under The Clutter

Man, I’ve been
keeping stuff
too long in my
mail-bag directory —

— it’s getting so
that I can’t
even find specific stuff
I remember putting away
for a rainy day or just
the right post.

I was looking for
some stuff with a
touch of sexy, fun,
mixed with a double
entendre or two –

– happily, I came across a
whole folder full of them
just before I gave up
searching.

Making them
all stick together
in one post might be the
hardest part –
but, citing Dad’s rule
for making his
world-famous ‘pan’ cookies –
– ‘throw in whatever you got‘ –
– I don’t see how we
can lose, really.

Especially when
compared
to his pan cookies.

Yow.

Appropos to nothing —

You know, I haven’t done
a post about monsters
recently. 

I dunno about you, but
I’m a big fan of monsters,
like Godzilla,
and Cookie Monster.

They’re outrageous,
and seem a bit dangerous,
but the only things they
really destroy are cardboard
cities and cardboard cookies.

I bet that bear at the picnic
table is waiting for some of
Dad’s pan cookies.

But, that’s only because
he’s never had em.

!!! HOY !!!