Today’s Serial On Cereals

A New Year comin’?

Meh.

There are issues,
let’s face it.

For one,
damned if I know
how long it’s gonna
take for me to start
writing ‘2018’
instead of ‘2017’..

.. last year it took
until April.

And the gym thing–
newbies crowding all
the equipment,
dropping weights,
and generally making
a nuisance of themselves
all because of some
nebulous new years
resolution to lose
7/8 of their body fat
and get muskularized –

— that they’ll keep
just long enough to get
a shiny new membership
tag for their key-chain.

(or their neck chain. )

And every new year puts
more distance between
the time when ‘recording
artists’ actually TRIED to
sing a song,

—- instead of using
a computer auto-tuner to
modulate it for them.

I remember somebody
in the early days telling
me that technology would
make things better .

What a crock-o-shit
THAT was.

Ok,
so I’ll stop bitchin.

Ahem.

The phrase
always drink your Ovaltine
was, for some reason,
ear-worming in my
sub-conscious mind
all weekend long —

I hate that stuff, 
but I do , on occasion,
eat breakfast —
so…..

I went looking in my
kitchen pantry for
some breakfast cereal
this morning, and
after plenty of digging,
finally found a box of
Lucky Charms.

I remember those from
when I was a kid, so I
poured a bowlful out..

… and got nothing but a
couple of pieces of cereal
and a whole mess of
marshmallow ‘surprises’.

One of my kids had
apparently decided that
there weren’t enough of
those sugar bombs in the
box already, and had
added some –

(and by some,
I mean a shit-load) —

Yep, you can indeed buy
just the colored marshmallow
shapes separately…

and then add as many
as you want back to the box.

Or,
I dunno….

Just throw out the cereal
altogther and eat them
marshmallows instead.

:-O YOWCHEE. :-O

Magically delicious.

No wonder parents today
can’t keep their kids from
climbing the walls at the
local Walmart.

Anyhoo…
it got me to
thinking back
about some of
the breakfast
cereal brands that
have come and gone
in the last 50 years or so.

Talk about flash
in the pans,
most of them
didn’t survive
more than a year or two.

Though I purposely avoided the
more obvious ones like those
based on Star Wars,
The Simpsons,
or the Flintstones
characters–

— still, I think you’ll find this
assortment a pretty vacuous one
altogether.

And they’re
all gone, now…

— except that
Uncle Sam stuff
that we led off with —

And that one
wasn’t really
a cereal geared
toward kids,
if you know
what I mean.

Prunes, anyone?

!!! HOY !!!

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Liver Soup

It’s a natural, man.

Feasting around the
holidays, I mean.

It’s the one time
of the year when I
have access to all
my favorite foods
without any
considerations
whatsoever —

— for caloric content,
nutritional information,
difficulty of preparation,
etc, etc, etc.

If I love it-
somebody in my family
is going to be making it,
or buying it,
or bringing it–

— and all I have to do
is be there to consume it.

Brother-
if that ain’t a holiday,
I don’t know what is.

Perogies and kielbasa-
— hot from the pot ?

Yes, please.

Did you say
another Guinness ?

Well, sure –
why not ?

Irish scone?
Love one.

Hey-
any of those
Philadelphia
pretzels left ?

Oh, I already
ate all of them.

No worries –
my sister will be
arriving with
reinforcements
any time now.

My son is coming
in the door with a case
of Blenheim ginger ale —

– that’ll be history
by tomorrow.

Yes, of course,
the red cap , man.

There’s nobody scared
of a little ginger
around here.

Anyhoo,
several friends of mine
(thanks, Katie, Jen, Syn)
were nice enough to
send me pictures that
relate to food in some way-

– and I can’t think
of a more
perfect day to post em.

Ewww………

Liver Soup ??

Anyhoo….

Christmas is getting closer
and closer, and the cookies
are piling up already ……….

So I’d better get going and
do my part to make
some space for more.

!!! HOY !!!

Garde Your Manger

fareObscure title, huh?

Not if you work
in the restaurant biz,
it ain’t.

I was having
(or trying to have)
dinner at my local
greasy spoon —

— and it was taking
long enough for Caesar
to have grown his salad
from seed –

– so I inquired about it-
(very nicely, I might add-
— always be kind if you a2
expect to be able to eat
what you order, and
without any ‘special sauce‘).

The manager went back to
find out what was up-
and I heard the cook
yell at her that the wait
couldn’t be helped,
cause he was agnmae
quote: “In The Weeds“.

(We were obviously seated in
the preferred seating section,
(AKA: “Bob Uecker’s table”
— right next to the kitchen ).

She shouted back at him
that she needed that
‘Blue Plate‘ ‘on the fly‘ ,
and to ‘86 the B.S.’ ! ”

Uh huh.
So, what about
MY meal,
I wondered….
athat
— cause I didn’t order
anything blue, or with
flying insects on it.

Further, I didn’t know
diners had combination
plates like the Dragon Palace,
cause I always order
the number 23 there.

Of course, I’m saying this
with some tongue planted
firmly into cheek —

(and that’s a pretty good
arrangement in the right await
kinda company…. )

— since my daughter works
in a restaurant – but, it is
genuinely funny how
different the language
can get in the heat of
the professional kitchen.

Assuming your local
diner qualifies –
which in my case,
I’m not all that sure of.

Ahem.

And, yes, bute
thanks for asking,
I did finally get my
Chicken Caesar salad–

— although just what the
hell I was thinking in
ordering anything fancier
than a scrambled egg
on toast (otherwise known
as ‘wrecked chicks on a raft‘)
or a baked potato
with sour cream
(‘a blonde hot Murphy‘ )
in that dump is beyond me.

Anyhoo– let’s talk about
a couple of the morea1
interesting idioms..

Eggs seem to have several
special terminologies
dedicated to them
depending on the region
and who/what’s cooking:

‘Cackle berries’
‘Egnosticz’

‘Hen Fruit’
‘Googs’
‘Chickies/Chicks/Chicklets’

And you can get them
in a large variety of styles –

‘Wreck Em’
(scrambled )atip

‘Scregged’
( really scrambled)

‘Shell Angels’
(hard boiled)

‘A Hub Cap’
(sunny side up)

‘Scotched’
(breaded, stuffed,
and then deep fried)

‘Puddle in a Golf Ball’
(soft boiled)

‘Dead Eye’
(1 poached )

‘Adam and Eve’
(2 poached)

‘Flop Two’
(fried over easy)

‘Gus-Burgered’
( add hamburger) —

and
‘ Doing The Eggman ‘
( umm– you’ll have to look
that one up for yourself
——  hint: Eric Burdon.
Sorry, I’m got side-tracked)

Ahem.

Hot dogs, too,
as you might expect,
have more than
their fair share —

‘Coney Island Chicken’
‘Bowsers’
‘Bun Pup’
‘Hosers’
‘Tube Steak’
‘Ripper’ (a deep fried hot dog)

And once you start
adding condiments,
well, better bring a
local cook or
at least a lexicon —

Breathe On It ” –
add onion.

Pitch In The Hay ” –
add sauerkraut.

With Frog Sticks “-
add French Fries.

Give It A Hemorrhage ” –
add ketchup.

Paint It Yellow ” –
add mustard.

On The Hoof ” –
cooked rare.

Pittsburgh Style” –
scorched.

Waxed ” –
add American cheese.
(YUK)
Pull Me A Shot
From Hotlanta
” –
add a Coke.

Save The Slush ” –
Ugh, no ice in that Coke.

And, as you can quite
plainly tell, there’s way
too many of these1905
things to list em all….
which, of course,
means you’ll be seeing
a sequel about the
subject soon enough
right here on this
channel, so stay tuned.

In the meantime,
keep yourself
Sunny Side Up ” !

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

ymoon

 

Postum Partum

I love coffee.

I drink about a
gallon a day,
and cannot
conceive of a time
or a place
where/when
sane people
wouldn’t
feel the same
about it that I do.

However,
there are
those
folks…

you know, —
the ‘unleaded’ ones..

— who drink
de-caffeinated coffee
like it’s the
most natural
thing in the world,
when actually they’re
disturbing the fine-line
balance of the universe
even suggesting such
an irresponsible and
inconceivable concept.

Ughhhhhh!

(Ok, so I’m being a bit
snarky, I know,
but I haven’t had
my morning cuppa yet. )

Bitterness ?

Well, I mean,
I like the flavor
of coffee ok- I guess –

– there are certainly
things (and people)
that I’d rather taste-

but without that
wonderful ‘hit’ or ‘jolt’
I got from coffee,
I just don’t know
why I would even
bother going to the
trouble of making it.

I literally don’t do
anything before
some coffee gets
down my gullet .

(damn it, what’s taking
so long for that Java ? )

I’m not even sure
that my eyes would
open wide enough
to go anywhere or do
anything without it.

(oh, there it is. 
ahhhhhhhhhh… )

Habit?

Aww,
so what?

A guy’s just
gotta have
vices,
after all….

Talk about
making sacrifices.

I already had to
give up scratching
myself in public,
didn’t I ?

So, anyway —
once upon a time,
there was this evil
ad campaign to
make people think
that coffee
was somehow
bad for ya —

— it would interfere
with your sleep
(which of course,
is the point of Java)

— and that it would
‘stunt your growth’.

The product ?

A roasted cereal
product called “Postum”.

And their ads, which often
featured a character named
“Mister Coffee Nerves”,
were designed to create
doubt and fear in the
minds of coffee drinkers
of it’s safety —

— ultimately for
the benefit and profit
of the makers of
Postum,
of course.

As you can see
from the featured
print ads on today’s
post, all kinds of
insinuations about the
comparative healthiness
of caffeinated versus
decaffeinated beverages
were made —

— and the ads are a case
in point for how
‘down and dirty’ sponsors
are willing to get in order
to sell their products.

As far as flavor
was concerned,
it required a certain
adjustment when
used as a coffee
replacement,

— but since the primary
selling point was
that it was a hot drink
that contained no caffeine,
(and was a ‘healthy
nerve food’)
many people really
did make the switch
in the 1930’s,
and even more in the
times of coffee rationing
during World War II.

The 1950’s and 1960’s
were a struggle for Postum,
and the last spike in sales
occurred in the 1970’s,
during a sudden increase
of coffee prices.

After that, Postum
became all but
forgotten, and
today, it’s been
licensed-out
by the original
manufacturer
to a small company
relegated to specialty
markets.

Cranks.

Long may coffee shine !!!

!!! HOY !!!!

It’s What’s For Dinner

No,
I’m not
threatening you.

And I’m not
saying that
you really have
to eat any
of this awful
looking stuff….

it’s just another
one of my posts
(like this one)
about advertising
that’s supposed
to convince you that
something that would
otherwise make you
wanna wretch won’t
actually do that to you,
should you be a
cooperative enough
consumer to try the
recipe or product
in question.

I probably could have
said that in a simpler way,
if I had really thought
about it, but the sooner
I get away from these
things the better,
so I’m posting these
pretty much on the run.

Which is probably what
you’re gonna get if you’re
damn fool enough to
make any of this stuff.

Yuck-o.

Maybe folk’s ideas about
what does and does not
look appetizing has changed –

– – I dunno —

but if my Mom was
using these as examples ,

I have to wonder how
I even survived childhood.

It does explain an awful
lot about her cooking,
though.

I always thought it was
just cause she was Irish.

Oh, while I’m on the subject,
let me give you some advice –

– if you’re ever in Dublin,
and you see a Bacon
sandwich on the menu —
— don’t order it.

It’s not bacon —
it’s fucking ham.

I can’t understand how
an nice and otherwise
very civilized country
like Éire would
confuse the two, but…
those wonderful
damned Canadians
seem to make the
same mistake, so …

Hey, and another thing —

if you insist on going to
Cork and kissing the
Blarney Stone, don’t
wear the Irish green
tartan kilt you special
ordered for the trip.

You see, there’s this old guy
who has to support you
while you grab the bars
and flip yourself into the
correct and required
‘kiss somebody else’s ass’
position —

and what he’ll do
while your bollocks are
almost completely defenseless
is anybody’s business but mine.

Just sayin.

All I can tell you is you’ll
probably feel just as queasy
after that experience as
when first you read this post.

Which, obviously,
is sayin’ somethin.

Umm… I guess.

I dunno, now …

What the hell was I
talking about, anyway?

! HOY !

(Thanks to Mis Lucja 
for some of these images! )

.