In The Mood

There are
oh so many
tricky aspects of
keeping a rewarding
relationship going –

– as anyone who’s
ever tried doing it
will be so happy
to tell you.

I’ve never been one
to harp upon the
whole:
Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus

thing –

— because we all really
are from around these
parts somewhere ..

.. but, there’s a
lot of truth being
conveyed there
when we get around
to talking about the
intrinsic differences
between the two.

And, when it comes to
‘being in the mood‘,
the one thing you can’t
argue with is hormones.

While it may be,
at times, easier
to know when
your S.O. is a bit
lopsided on their
hormonal balance
than others —

— more often than not,
it’s a matter of guesswork
for a semi-aroused other
half.

Guess right,
and you win that
night’s prime
prize –

Guess wrong,
and you snatch
only the booby prize
(and not at all
in a good way ) :

– drilled by the dull finger
of rejection in the bottom
end of reverse motivation,
resulting in a healthy
heaping helping of
futility and depression.

And that monster don’t
exactly like to just
lollygag around.

But,
you’re not alone.

Your S.O. is probably
having those same
feelings, despite being
the bearer of the
nay-saying news …

– an imbalance
of endogenous
hormones doesn’t
really do any
body any good.

And as folks
get older,
this becomes
rather a
repetitive issue.

We here at the
Muscleheaded Blog
want to do our
smarty-pants best
help resolve the
problem.

Failing mind-reading,
I think most people
recognize that good
communication about
the whole thing is
essential.

So, our post today
features vintage
‘communication aids’ –

– you know,
ways to tell
your lover
when to turn
on either :
the strobe light
or the cold water.

And all I can really
say, is:

May the light
ever shine on you.

!!!! HOY !!!

.

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Cards Of Few Words

With the large
varieties of
available designs
on the market,
picking out the
perfect postcard
back in the
1900’s for an
occasion or message
was often a very
daunting task –

– anyone who’s had
to pick out just the
right Valentines Day
card probably knows
exactly what I mean.

But, even more so
in the case of a
turn-of-the-century
postcard –

– there were strict
postal service rules
that regulated the
size, not to mention
where and how
much space was
left for a personalized
message by the sender.

( of course, users were
free to write all over
the design, and they
frequently did. )

So, while cramming
a lot into the display
area on the card
might be one
approach for a
publisher, while
another might be to
keep the selling point
of the card –
– the joke, or subject –
as generic and simple
as possible.

By doing that,
the seller had
an opportunity
to appeal to a
wider market –

– buyers could get
creative and choose
to send a particular
design under a
variety of different
circumstances.

But, in order for that
to work, the punch line
has to make sense and
match the art, it has to
have eye appeal, and it
has to tell a story.

There were thousands
of possible themes to
work with..

.. and could be drawn
from everyday life,
art, theatre, history,
even gardening, and
of course, LOVE. 

I’ve seen a lot of
great early-20th-century
cards like that, and
today, we’ll feature
a few of the more
interesting ones.

I’m not at all sure
some of the
one-liners
would sell today,
but they are all
charming in their
own way.

!! HOY !!

.

Fridayz Mail Bag

Hello there
all you groovy
people …….

The mail is in,
and we’ve got
plenty of great
vintage stuff to
share with y’all
today.

No matter what
you or I might
be going through
in our lives, it’s
always fun to step
back and see how
our predecessors
communicated —

– and postcards
were a great
way to do that.

And sometimes
your guess on
what they meant
is as good as mine.

But there other
times when
there’s nothing
all that
complicated
about what’s
going on,
at all.

The almost infinite
variety of these
things keeps them
interesting and fun.

We’re gonna
mix it up, like
we are wont to
do around here
on mailbag
Fridays,

–but you never
know, we might
sneak a theme
in there on ya,
you never can
tell.

Hey,
if you bored
with the mailbag,
you can always
click on the links
I’ve snuck into the
text today —

— they’re all a small
part of what we
around here like
to call the worst of
the Muscleheaded
Blog.

You could easily
waste the better
part of a weekend
that way —

or maybe you got
something better
to do, I dunno.

Either way,
HAVE FUN !!!!

!!! HOY !!!

Number Place – Sudoku

Heaven knows,
if there’s one
thing that
I ain’t………

It’s a math whiz.

While I can handle
simple addition and
such, when you start
making me do
complicated equations
where you got letters
and powers to ‘nth
degree, I’m more lost
than a nun at a strip
club on amateur night.

Ok, sure, I guess she
could be looking for
someone, that’s really
not the point…..

It’s simply one of my
long-winded ways of
getting to the point —
which today is Sudoku.

I like it,
and nobody
that knows me can
figure out why.

But I can tell
you why
easy enough.

Solving sudoku
puzzles requires no
arithmetic — it’s
numbers, ok, but
that’s where the
similarities end.
(for me, anyway)

You’ve got 9
numbers —
which could just
as easily be symbols
or letters…

As a matter of fact,
there are varieties of
them that use just
about anything —
different shapes,
colors, tokens,
roman numerals,
even smiley faces.

If the breakfast cereal
has enough different
“Lucky Charms”, you
could play it right on
your kitchen table.

Because, despite the
seeming complexity
of the puzzles, they
all function on the
same very simple
principle.

You only get to use
the symbol/number
once in a box of 9 –
and a row of 9-
and a column of 9.

Of course, the guy
who wants to design
a good sudoku puzzle
doesn’t make it easy
on you……

He wants to
give you just
enough clues
( a minimum of 17 )
to be able to solve it,
and leaving only
one correct
solution.

You go about solving
it by a process of
elimination —
which to me, seems
a much more reasonable
and understandable
approach than math.

I’m wrong,
I’ve been told,
about that,
but whatever.

And of course, leave
it to the math brainiacs
to come up with a
mathematical approach
to it –

– something to do with
latin square algorithms ‘ ,
but I can do ’em quite
nicely without any help
from alien technology,
thanks, anyway.

My advice is that if
you’ve never tried one,
start with the smaller
Mini Sudoku
(only 6 numbers)
until you get the
hang of it.

With practice, you’ll
be solving the hard
ones in no time.

That said, there are
a number of ways
of working out
which number
goes where……

With that in mind,
here’s a link to
an excellent page
about various
techniques that
you may find
useful….

The ‘forcing chain’
and ‘swordfish’ are
ones I find myself
using all the time.

Enjoy.

.

The Ins and Outres

If you know
anything about
this here Muscleheaded
Blog, you know that I love
to mind-meld with my
friends here on WP and
swap (swipe) their ideas.

Of course,
after we’re
done with it around
here, they may not
even recognize their
idea anymore.

So we always
make a point
of crediting
( embarrassing )
them with a little
recognition for what,
before we got a holt
of it, anyway, was a
perfectly sane and
creative idea.

Jules
this one
is all
your fault.

Ahem.

Today, we look at
the many levels of
what makes us
laugh —

– from a secretive and
subtle tee-hee much
favored among the shy
inhibited type –
( inhibitions are like
putting cheez-whiz
on a steak  )

– to a mild titter –
(who could
argue with
a little titter
once in a while )

– and the semi-muffled
guffaw –
( some misunderstandings
might occur, depending
on the source of the
aforesaid muffling )

– through the unabashed
cackle –
( I knew a girl once that
could cackle so loud it
could hard-boil an egg )

– all the way up to the
full belly laugh –
(which isn’t all that
good for your
digestion right after
meals, especially steak
nachos with cheez-whiz. )

Now, while you
might wonder
what all these
cheez-whiz references
have to do with our
subject today ,
and clearly,
none,
other than a memory
of recent nightmarish
visit to Pat’s Steaks
with a distant relative
during a road trip ……

…. why anyone would
do THAT to
an otherwise
(barely) acceptable
“steak-um” with
sauteed onions
and peppers
is beyond me.

Funny?

Well, try to visualize
a very large drunk
person eating a huge
steak sandwich while
dripping bright
orange colored 
artificial cheese
all over his new
official Eagles
football jersey and
you might acquire the
image that I’m stuck
with the rest of my
natural life.

I think that’s the
kind of humor they
call ‘ droll ‘ .

Still, there’s plenty
of other choices for
things to laugh at
if you’re not into
droll trolls drooling…..

I’m a fan of slapstick 
humor,

( A girl I used to know
named Donna used to
do a version of that
whenever she was mad
at me, but it didn’t seem
very funny to me …. )

as long as it
doesn’t involve
permanent damage to
the spinal column
or two months in a
penile splint .

Stuff shouldn’t be
forced to bend in
certain ways, so just
try to keep your
taqaandan practice
to a minimum.

I dunno if you’d call
that reference an
example of ‘jocular’
or ‘side-splitting’
humor……

Lost, yet ?

Ah well….
this blog is a good
example of another
kind of humor —

what my Aunt Sarah
used to call waggish

by which she meant
that nobody else ever
got my jokes, and that
I was simply amusing
myself.

She was so wise,
that lady, that I
wanted to marry her
when I was young…..
but she wouldn’t wear
that purple teddy
I bought her.

Alright —
that, there is called
outré humor….
and refers to jokes
that might shock folks
because they fall outside
normal propriety .

Yes, we really do like
that stuff around here.

Which points as straight
as an arrow to why we
chose the cards we did
to go along with our
little head trip today.

Enjoy.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Mary And Her Monkey

edAs I have been
heard to say
more than once…..

Our Edwardian
predecessors could
get downright weird.

Their postcards
show this
tendency very clearly.

Oh sure, I know — monk
it’s just harmless fun, sure.

Until somebody puts
an eye out or something.

Alright, so I don’t know
what I’m talking about.
monk2
That’s never stopped us
around here before.

The truth is that sometimes,
their humor has completely
lost it’s meaning to us
modern-day in-the-know folk,

monk3— and we really don’t know
what the hell they
were talking about.

I’d LOVE to say
I get the joke,
but a lot of references
just get very lost in
the fog of history
and changes in language.  4

So, even a seemingly
simple, dirty spin
on a nursery rhyme
requires a PhD in
cultural anthropology
to really be understood.

As far as the naughty
symbolism 5is concerned,
I’m thinking that we
we might have simply
switched animals over
the course of a century……

And I’m betting she woulda
had a lot more fun with
that monkey if she had
just gone ahead 6
and shaved it.

Just sayin’.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!!