The Devil’s In The Dance

orgiesWell, if I’m not careful,
my rather cavalier attitude
about things will have
put me on someone
else’s naughty list…..

Damn.

Apparently,
I need to be reminded
that drinking, carousing,
dancing and music
are well-lit road signs on
the Route 666 straight to Hell.

Or maybe just the
dirt road to ruin, I dunno. like

I’m a sinner,
— taken that for granted.

Ok,

— so would somebody please
hit the panic button already?

Because,
dancing and music
always seemed pace
like such an innocent thing
to me, ya know.

How was I to know that
it was just a Red Menace/Satanic plot
to get you to let your moral guard down?

Or worse–

Man, did you know
that listening to:

“.. razzy, jazzy spasm bands
would strouse uncontrollable sexual desire ? “

Hmmm…slave
that’s gotta make you think.

(What the hell is ‘strousing’ anyway,
…. and how do I get some of it ?)

And, further–

that in ‘Jitterbug’ dancing:
girls are violated and
despoiled visually first,
and often otherwise afterward”.

Oh, for heavens sake.

I just thought it was
a goofy looking dance move…morals

…….. nobody ever told me it
would make girls ‘ loosey goosey ‘.

Damn,
I knew I shoulda learned to dance.

But, we’ve been over that
ground, before, I think.

Anyhoo….

That’s the premise of an old pamphlet I found,
written by one Dan Gilbert, LLD,

…. dating from the 1940’s,heritage
called “Heritage of Hell–
The Modern Dance
“.

Among other things,

the learned Doctor Gilbert informs us
that dance music was a greater threat
to Western Civilization than Hitler…

And that “ 97 per cent of juvenile delinquents
took “their departure from the path
of virtue and purity
” after a
dance or attending a movie.

Going to the movies can really do that ??

Who knew.

I bet that’s where they first learn tango
that trick with the popcorn box, too.

I am aghast, man, aghast.

Other wonderful titles
written by this guy include:

The Vanishing Virgin
( over-rated, if you ask me )

The Conspiracy Against Chastity
( I’m sensing a theme here… )ballroom

Evolution: The Root Of All ISM’s

( what the hell is an ISM? )

Now, you’re probably thinkin’
‘ok,
so,
one crack-pot, no big deal.’

Au contrare, mon frère.

I think there’s still lots
of folks that think that way…

And certainly,
plenty of examples twist
of literature about it.

(Yes,
that is Ann-Margret –
— thanks for askin’ )

Another classic of this knee-jerk genre,
— is a pamphlet by John R Rice–

….. called “What’s Wrong With The Dance“,
and dating from the same general era (1935).

And as maniacal as the above good Doctor seemed,
—- this Rice guy is even more rabid about the subject.

He explains his concept in terms familar
of who hangs out at dances, like:

tough nuts,
crack-brained bullies,
drunken blackguards,
low down dirty rakes who would
seduce any girl and lead her to Hell,

prostitutes,
syphilitics,
the rotten-as-hell adulterous crowd,
bootleggers,
whiskey drinkers,
high school kids doomed to car crashes,
and of course—
your sons and daughters
“.

Oh man.

He “double-dog dares” someone to defend dancing,

( yes, he did actually use that exact expression )dance

….. since it’s responsible for all
adultery, murder, idolatry,
drunkenness and nakedness”.

His fashion sense is also offended:

“Women don’t wear corsets
anymore to dances”
, he complains.

Oh, shucks.

And, in that special, homespun,
inimitable style that is all his own,
he has a gentle piece of advice for mothers, too:

Listen to me, sisters, you bunch of hens.
You who have been carrying on these
dances in your homes, don’t open your chops.
You have paved the way for lewdness,
trained boys and girls for it.

Dammit, MOM.bestial

What–
—— was I at summer camp or what ???

How’d I somehow miss out
on all the damn lewdness training ????

I’m telling you…

I’m always outta the loop, man.

Next.

HOY!

.

Dancing French Couple

Dancing French Couple

Cool Smoke

luckystrikeWalking past a few
downtrodden
and rainsoaked
tobacco devotees (or addicts )
sneaking a short,
cold smoke break
in the very small,
outside, and uncovered
smoking area
at the airport….

(which, since January 1st,
has ‘no smoking’ signs
plastered all around it)

got me to thinking about how
much my parents’ generationbogart
liked to smoke cigarettes…..

Man, in those days
you couldn’t
really be cool
unless you mastered
that ‘sophisticated smoker
got everything in control look’.

Just imagine
the
great Humphrey Bogart –
without a cigarette wisping
smoke into his eyes….serling

….. that squinty snarl
wouldn’t scare a kitty cat.

And Rod Serling,
on the Twilight Zone —

…. that dapper demeanor
and aura of mystery
couldn’t be created
with just a fog machine.

How bad could they
be for you if both
Fred Flintstone andfredandbarney
Barney Rubble
smoked em, huh?

Of course,
even back then,
I guess folks kinda
knew it wasn’t
exactly good for you.

Despite the cigarette
ad campaigns and the
‘doctor recommendations’
to the contrary.

But I dunno…mantan

It certainly saved movie
detective Charlie Chan’s
(Sidney Toler) life in :
“The Chinese Dragon
(1944)” —

— when the chauffeur
Birmingham Brown
(Mantan Moreland)
couldn’t light his cigar,
(something kept putting
out his wooden match)
and it turned out
that the reason was
because the room
was being filledmiami
with poisonous gas.

Whew,
was that a close call.

Which, somehow
brings me around to
one of Charlie Chan’s
favorite sayings:

Confucius says:
“Man who sit on tack better off.” 

Hoo Boy.

Cheers !!!!!!!

a1