The Dog Days Of August

about that ?


time to break
out my monthly
calendar and see
just what the
going on.


Did you

August is National
‘Admit You’re
Happy’ Month?

What was that song….

If you’re happy and
you know it,
get the clap.

Maybe I got
the words
out of place,
I dunno.

It’s National
‘Clown Week’
between the 1st
and the 7th.

it seems to me
that it’s
actually been
‘ Clown Week ‘
for sometime.

That might
just be my bad
attitude talking,
or so say some.

Hoo boy.

August 3rd
is gonna
be busy –
It’s National
“Grab Some Nuts” day.

I’ve always said
they were
as far as
grabbing em,
it depends on
of course.

‘International Beer Day’
is also Friday, August 3-

now, that’s a
holiday I think
maybe has some
definite potential.

Yeah, man.

Can you name
three of your
favorite foreign

Off the top
of my head,
I’d say:

” Guinness “,
” Żywiec ” ,
and “Duvel “,

but I could
go on
on and on
and on, and on…

And it makes
sense that
the following day is
Hangover Day”,

‘National Underwear’ Day
is the 5th – the day after
‘Coast Guard’ Day.

What you do to celebrate
it as a package deal is
go deep sea diving in your
underwear, and then call
for rescue.

better not.

‘Left Handers Day’
is the 13th.

Hey- who doesn’t
need a little variety,
right ?

‘Bad Poetry Day’ is
Wednesday, August 18-

– try to come up with
something that doesn’t
start with a line like:
“There Once Was
A Girl From Nantucket ”

Kiss and Make Up
day is the 25th —

– in case you’re not
still wearing your
wet underwear.

Dog Day’ is
the 26th —

— which just
proves the old
adage about
every dog
his/her day.

Except my dog.

Daisie’s day

!!! HOY !!!



Bell Bottomed Blues

” Bell bottom blues
You made me cry
I don’t want to
lose this feeling
If I could choose
a place to die
It would be in your arms “

Here’s an interesting story
from the world of the
golden age
of rock and roll….
and another involving
Eric Clapton and Pattie Boyd –

It concerns the song
Bell Bottom Blues “.

Now, you might remember
from a previous episode of
the Muscleheaded Blog 

( as well as from Rolling
Stone, Creem, and some
other 1960’s publications )

that Eric Clapton has a very
strong yen for Pattie,
who was, at the time,
(1969-1970) his friend
George Harrison’s first wife.

( He had written
Layla ” for her..
among other songs. )

Pattie knew that Clapton
was due to go on an
American tour, and asked
Eric to bring her back a
couple pair of American
bell-bottomed jeans.

According to Eric:
“Pattie asked me to get her
some pairs of these jeans
we used to call Landlubbers“.

And of course,
he did.

Ok, so it’s a short story.
Sue me.


Bell bottom jeans were
all the rage in the rock
and roll scene back then —
and American bells were
the most popular.

Hell, I remember a pair
of elephant bells that I
wore to a Junior High
dance that made me as
temporarily popular as
the Beatles.

Ahem again.

Interestingly enough,
as so many cultural cools
are, bell bottom pants
began with the Navy –

they’d been around
since the 1850’s —
popular with Sailors
because they were
easily rolled up –
and they soon became
synonymous with the Navy

(The British Navy version
were much more like
bell-bottoms than the U.S.
– ours are more like
what you might call ‘flairs’. )

This identification
with the Navy
became especially evident
during World War II :

Kay Kyser had a minor hit
with the ‘Sailor in the bell
bottoms’ theme in 1945 –

So did Louis Prima with
Bell Bottom Trousers ”

And bug-eyed comedian
Jerry Colonna did a
novelty piece on
the Bob Hope tour about

As for the fashion fad,
well, that seems to
have started around
1965 as the evolution
of the beatniks
into the hippie movement
was in full swing —

Cher wore a pair of bell
bottoms in a very wide
circulated photo of her
and Sonny on their

And that year, the
Coasters released a song
called ” Bell Bottom Slacks
and A Chinese Kimono “.

In 1966, Sonny Warner
had a minor hit with :
Bell Bottom Blue Jeans ” .

Considering how big the
whole cultural phenom
was – it’s a bit surprising
that more contemporary
songs weren’t performed
about them –

most of the good ones
about bell bottoms
pre-dated the hippie days,

Teresa Brewer’s
Bell Bottom Blues
from around 1954 —

or post-dated it,

Helen Cornelius’s 1974
Bell Bottom Trousers“…

or The Beautiful South’s
Bell Bottomed Tear
(about a relationship
with a Sailor )

— but Clapton’s
love tribute song
about Pattie would
have been hard to beat
, anyway.

!! HOY !!!


The Anti-Flirt Club

I’ve always been a big flirt,
and I’ll be the first one to
admit that.

Mild participatory flirtation
can a be wonderful thing —
a matter of subtle body
language, a bantering
tête-à-tête, a joyful
recognition of each other’s
voluptuary natures.

It’s fun.
Cause I don’t flirt with
anyone who doesn’t.

But, flirting is one of those
things that can easily get
out of hand – and when it’s
not participatory (mutual),
or becomes crass or abusive –
one becomes what’s been
called ‘ a masher ‘.

I never got the whole concept
of cat-calling, for instance ….

Did a cat-call ever get a woman
to become interested in a man?

I kinda doubt it.

And the concept of
‘auto invitation’ —
cat-calling from cars —
well, that’s just gotta
be for very desperate
dudes, right?

Actually, it became such
a problem in the 1920’s
that a bunch of women
in Washington, DC founded
the first ‘anti-flirt’ club –
in 1923.


The president of said club,
Miss Alice Reighly, shown
with their official pennant,
published a list of ten rules
that she recommended to
all women :

” 1: Don’t flirt; those who flirt in haste oft repent in leisure.

2: Don’t accept rides from flirting motorists—they don’t all invite
you in to save you a walk.

3: Don’t use your eyes for ogling—
they were made for worthier

4: Don’t go out with men you don’t know—they may be married, and you may be in
for a hair-pulling match.

5: Don’t wink—a flutter of one eye may cause a tear in the other.

6: Don’t smile at flirtatious strangers—
save them for
people you know.

7: Don’t annex all the men you can get—
by flirting with many you may lose out on the one.

8: Don’t fall for the slick, dandified cake eater—the unpolished gold of a real man is worth more than the gloss of lounge lizard.

9: Don’t let elderly men with an eye to a flirtation pat you on the shoulder and take a fatherly interest in you. Those are usually the kind who want to forget
they are fathers.

10: Don’t ignore the man
you are sure of while you
flirt with another. When you
return to the first one you
may find him gone. ”

I dunno, honestly, why flirtation
should ever get so out of hand
that people would join a club to
discourage it —

— you’d think we’d all have
better sense , and more
sensitivity than that.

But, it just goes to
show ya……..


!!! HOY !!!