Don’t Hobble Me

Just like in olden times,
you’ll never know
when you might
find yourself
in distress.

And back then,
even before ” S.O.S.”
was adopted by American
sailing vessels as the
standard distress signal
– there was ” C.Q.D.

Yep-
the message
” To All Stations –
— In Distress “
was boiled down to ‘CQD’
in Morse Code, and it was
actually the first distress
call code used by the radio
operators on the Titanic…

( it was then
alternated with the
newer code ‘SOS’. )

Both ‘CQD’
and ‘SOS’
should actually be
displayed with an
overline, indicating
that there is no
pause/space
between the
characters
when sending, but
my ASCII coding ain’t
up to snuff for that.

But, this post
doesn’t have
that much to do
with nautical lore
or Morse Code,
even –

— despite being
very, very potentially
interesting subjects
in themselves.

No….

Today, for our
Friday Mailbag Post,
I thought we’d
dig for some cool
‘hobble skirt’ postcards.

The hobble skirt was
one of those things, that
back in the early 1900’s,
you either loved or hated.

They were
very stylish,
sure,

— but they also made
it very difficult for the
wearer to walk quickly
or to step onto a trolley
car, for instance.

They were actually
banned in many
municipalities
as unsafe.

And of course,
there were postcard
publishers along for
the ride, too.

Yep.

Versions of the
hobble skirt idea
still survive in
trendy fashion
today, I’ve noticed..

…. and I can see
how certain aspects
of the thing
could end
up being very…..

… errr ……
provocative.

.

!!! HOY !!!


( illustration by John Willie )

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Doin’ The Donut

1948As you’ve probably have learned
from reading the Muscleheaded Blog —

There’s a lot about
the previous generations
that they never told us about.

We grew up thinking
that they didn’t have all that many vices to speak of —

….. at least,
I did.

Anddoll
boy howdy,
were we misled.

I guess maybe it was
just a whole lot easier
to keep their
whims,
peccadilloes,
and fancies secret
than it is for us today.

doughnutgames

But,
we can always
get a glimpse
of just how weirddonutgames
they were back then,
from their printed matter–

— like advertising,
and
of course,
postcards
and brochures.

This interesting submission
came to ushole
all the way
from California.

If emails needed stamps,
that woulda got
kinda expensive.

And somehow,
I shouldn’t be all
that surprised
that it came from
there, either.um

Yes,
my friends…..

The next time your party
starts to go flatter than one
of Suzie Wonder’s
gluten-free pancakes–

You can become the
life of the gang bang,
with this handy guide.

It’s called:
The Most Popular
Donut Games
” —
and features 9 or 10
exciting and festive excuses
— to buy a bunch of donuts.bend

( Sure, you could just eat ’em,
but what fun would there be in that? )

It contains some very
strange suggested diversions –

Like this illustration
on how to eat donuts
‘doggie style’.

I dunno if a poodle skirtdonutqueen
is optional or not.

But I like the hands-tied-
behind-the-back idea,
anyway.

Nothing says “PARTY” to me
like bondage.

Also included,
are a complete set of rules
for amusing yourself and your party guests with :

The Donut Snatch Dance.

Yes, sure,
the namea1
suggests an interesting
party concept for sure…

But in this case,
it’s simply about
making chicks
carry a donut around
on a red ribbon
while the guys at the
party try to take a bite out of it.

If they get a piece…,
of her donut,
that is… ,
they get a dance.

I’m so disappointed.

Still, it has potential.

You could substitute for1951
the donut, I guess…

And the prize could have
been upgraded on demand,
for all I know.

While I’m no fan of donuts,

(well, ok,
a nice French Cruller
every once in a while
goes nice with a double espresso)

—— any excuse
for friskiness at a boring party,
no matter how mundane,
is OK with me.donutime

Hey, man —
It’s always Do-Nut time.

Umm…
……. yeah.

 

 

And since
I’m obviously still writing
the same tawdry kitsch
I’ve been doing for 15 years now,

—– these submissions are
right up my alley.

Of course,
one of these days,
I might even start dunk
getting good at it,
too… dammit.

Hey–
it could happen.

And I do love donuts.

Oh,
and by the way,1957
friends, remember–

The next time
you place your order ,
Don’t forget to say :

NO ANCHOVIES, PLEASE.

Ahem.

Hey Mister Moose–
Myrna says:
Have A Donut !!!!!

HOY!

myrnasayshaveadonut

Not The DeLorean DMC-12 Again

Okay….

So, every car-oriented blog
eventually talks about the
famous (or infamous)
DeLorean DMC-12 –

– you know, the car that was
used as the time machine
by the mad professor in
“Back To The Future”.

But, there are some
interesting historical
tidbits that are usually
skipped over that we
might have some fun
with on our Saturday car
post- since we’re less of a
car oriented blog and
more of a smart-assed
one, anyway.

Most folks think that the
DeLorean DMC-12 was the
first stainless steel bodied
automobile — it was not —
the 1936 Ford SS Tudor
Deluxe was.

Stainless Steel is an excellent
material from which to make
a car– rust-resistant, durable –
– and John DeLorean definitely
had the right idea.

There are several reasons that
automakers use to explain
why it isn’t used — but the
truth has some to do with
added expense and a lot to
do with planned obsolescence.

Cars that don’t wear out
fast, don’t get replaced fast.

Sales suffer.
Auto executives don’t get
their million dollar bonuses.

So it was, certainly, something
that rankled his competition-

– but, truthfully, the failure
of DeLorean’s company had
very little to do with his choice
of material.

You might know
that the car
was made in a plant in
Northern Ireland, near Belfast.

But, did you know that
originally, DeLorean had
planned his factory to be
located in Puerto Rico,
and that the government
of Northern Ireland gave
him about 170 million bucks
to build it there instead.

DeLorean had several popular
celebrities as large investors
in his company as well —
including Johnny Carson
and Sammy Davis, Jr.

The engines in the DMC-12’s
were descended from the one
in the Renault Model 30 –
– a Peugeot-Renault-Volvo
2.8 liter V-6, and were built
in France.

So were the gearboxes-
the car was available in
automatic and a 5 speed
manual transmissions.
It had a top speed of
about 110 MPH.

DeLorean originally considered
calling his new car the ” Z-Tavio ”
– a conglomeration of his son’s
middle name, and his father’s
first.

But the ” DMC-12 ” designation
was chosen instead, because the
planned retail price for the car
was going to be around
$12,000 U.S. –
– after production began,
it turned out the MSRP was
more than twice that –
and the selling price was
about $15,000 over that –
making the average price
paid, in 1982, about $50,000.

Never intended as an
economical car, three
gold-plated DeLoreans
existed as of 1983-
2 were manufactured for the
American Express Company,
and one —

well, that’s part of another
interesting DMC-12 story…

It seems that there were
several hundred cars left in
some state of assembly when
the DeLorean company went
belly up.

Those cars, along with spare
parts, licenses, stock,
everything – got sold after
receivership to a company
which finished as many of
them as they could.

One of them was the
third gold DMC-12.

And the company?

Consolidated International.

Otherwise known as Big Lots.

Funny how stuff turns out
sometimes, ain’t it?

!! HOY !!

The 1961-1963 Lincoln Continental

Another of my all-time
favorite cars is starring
on today’s car post —

the stunning early
1960’s Lincolns —

Continental of course,
because Continentals
were the only cars Lincoln
produced during a 16 year
span, between 1961 and 1976.

The 1961, 1962 and 1963
Lincoln Continentals were
part of the brand’s fourth
generation, and their classic
good looks are so refined
that they might make one
forget that they have been
also described as ” the finest
mass-produced domestic
automobile of it’s time “.

Lincoln Motor Division
had been struggling
in the late 1950’s –
in order to survive,
the new fourth generation
model, due in 1961, would
have to deliver on distinctive
looks, durable build quality,
and better handling and performance.

Elwood Engel, Vice President of Ford Development, had been working on a cutting edge design for the third generation Thunderbird, and the plans were soon brought to fruition –
— not on the 2 door T-Bird,
but on the new 4 door
Continental instead –
the T-Bird uni-body was
stretched to accommodate
a 123 inch wheelbase that was
still shorter than the previous
model’s 131 inches.

It was available in four door sedan and convertible
versions only –
and equipped with a 430 c.i
big block V-8 making over
300 horsepower –
and a 3 speed
automatic transmission
was standard.

One thing most folks
remember about the
fourth generation Lincolns
were the suicide doors-

Continental’s rear doors
were hinged at the back
for looks, ease of access
and maintenance:

they were called ‘suicide doors’
because “…a reverse-hinged
door, if accidentally opened
in a moving car, would be
flung wide by the road wind,
making it easier for a
passenger to fall <or jump> out.”

Lincoln’s Continental line during this period also included the first and
only post WW-II
American-made four
door convertible –
made until 1967.

My personal passion for
these cars began in the
late 1970’s –

I owned a 1962 Continental that had well over 100,000 miles on it — and I still went
cross country with it —

– it was gorgeous,
drove like a cloud,
had room to spare,
and was mechanically
bullet proof.

Best of all, the girls loved it.

Of course, it only got about
13 miles to a gallon of gas –
but dependability was much
more important to me then,
and it still is today.

A friend of mine owns a ’62 just like my old black beauty,
and he has kept it
very original —

other than replacing the old
rear drum brakes with disks —

and it does my heart good to
hear him talk about how
dependable the car still is,
and how many looks
the car still gets.

A man could do a lot
worse, let me tell you.

!! HOY !!

The Stout Scarab

Say what you want
about this beast —

It was the world’s first
production-made mini-van,
and inspired by the
engineering genius of
Buckminster Fuller
and his Dymaxion Car.

And interestingly enough,
the Stout Scarab’s design
motto was :
“Simplicate.
Add Lightness”

Developed in 1932 by SAE
President William B. Stout,
the car went into limited
production in 1935 on a tiny
factory line in Dearborn,
Michigan.

Those rear-wheel drive
Scarabs were equipped
with a rear-mounted
Ford flathead V-8
engine producing 90
horsepower — driving
a three speed manual
transaxle that could
get the thing moving
up to about 75 MPH.

No fenders,
no running boards,
cab-forward design,
6 passenger capacity
(but with only two
access doors, one driver
side, and one mid-body
on the passenger side )
and an aerodynamic
Deco-inspired look
and form made the Stout
Scarab more than the
average novelty car
in the mid-1930’s —
but it’s expense
(about $85,000
in today’s money)
put it out of reach
for most consumers.

There were perks to
those who could afford one –
the interior included a
folding table and seats
that could be re-arranged
at will, with plenty
of space even allowing
for a portable office or
a sleeping area if required.

Stout stopped producing
the Scarab as World War II
approached, but made
one more after the war
with the help of the
Owens-Corning Company –
– The Scarab “Experimental” –
which was the first car
with a fiberglass
body and a pneumatic suspension.

And no matter how ugly you
might think the Scarab was ,
you do have to admit,
it was aptly named.

!! HOY !!

Musing With The Mail Bag

goofromYes,
the mailbag is back —
with another weekly
batch of mixed
miscellaneous
minutia and …
well,
ya know…
stuff like that.

Fridays seem a perfect day
for this kinda thing, for
some reason.

And the good thing a1
for me is that I don’t
have to work too hard
on coming up with
a complicated or tasteful
theme ….

(like that would ever
happen, anyway)  .

All I gotta do for content
is to reach down into that
mailbag and wait until
something bites me.

Errr–
I mean,
grabs me.

What this melted Mallo
Cup is doing in here,
who knows, but you get
the general idea, right?

I think we may be seeing
an unconscious pattern
developing as far as what
I’m pulling out for this
week’s episode, though.

It could be a total
coincidence, ya say?

Sure, man.

And of course,
I am completely
innocent of any malice
aforethought if it turns
out that way, though.

It’s simply my nature
to prefer things that
display my interests in life..

And my friends who keep 
the mailbag full of cool stuff
seem to like the same kinda
things too.

Call it kismet
if you want.

That’s the kind of draw
that I’d call a ’21’
anytime.

If I could only figure out
how to double down on it.

!!! HOY !!!

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