Happy Weekend

Hi Y’All !
Thank you for dropping in —

I hope you’re enjoying the Muscleheaded Blog !

By the way-
the Muscleheaded Blog
is on vacation sorta this week…
so it’ll be a bit quieter than usual.

I’ll be back from walkabout
hopefully next Thursday.

happy weekend .

In the meantime,
if you have suggestions,
questions, or submissions,
I’d love to read ’em !!!

….. and please drop me a line
or a comment if you like
what you see.

Happy Weekend Y’all !!!! .

!!! HOY !!!

Advertisements

Snap and Snooze

I guess some of you
old-timers can tell
that I’m back on my
rabbit-food diet, cause
here I am crabbin’ about
technology again, when
usually it’s sex that is the
prevailing topic of choice
around here ………….

Tomorrow it’ll be food,
you wait and see.

And, no,
I’m not dropping weight
for a competition,
this time, though.

I’m done pulling trucks, y’all…
my back has told me in no
uncertain terms that it’s not
having any more of that shit.

Ok, so maybe
I am too old for it —
but I was when
I started doing it, too.

Blech.

Anyhoo…

As I was saying, being back
on the rabbit food diet
also means that I’ve cut
my gym days down
from 6 days to 5 —

which means I got more
time to watch TV —

— if they still call it that.

It’s gotten very strange lately —

you’ll be watching a program,
and suddenly, they’ll say
something like :

” … and if you want to see
how this all ends, just go
to blah-blah-blah-dot-com
and watch it on the phone app. “

waIT.
COME BACK HERE !

But they don’t listen-
and they just start the next program.

Hey – I was watching that !!!!!!!!!!!!

I was perfectly happy watching
whatever-it-was on a 60 inch
large screen with surround sound —

— and now for some reason,
they want me to go and find
my phone to watch the conclusion
on a two inch screen with an
almost inaudible speaker ? ?

WHO thought THIS
was a good idea?

I’m all for the internet
in all kinds of ways —
(how can you beat all
the free porn, blogs
and 60’s music videos
that you can eat?) —
– but using the net is just
too much work if suddenly
this is the ‘NEW TV’ —

I pay for cable- and still
I don’t get my happy ending
without the damned channel app?

Let me tell you –
in my world,
when it’s television time,
it’s ‘just sit back,
relax and
push the remote button’ –

it’s not about
mega-searching,
3 minute featurettes,
unregulated commercials
every 30 seconds,
buffering, and unreliable
crashing apps —
no, man, NO.

And NO –
I don’t want
to feedback on SnapThat,
or throw hash with Hash-taggers,
or go see ‘Enhanced Content’
(which they could just show
on TV but won’t ) on Fade-book.

Faced with all that, I think
I’d rather go back to my old
23 inch analog TV with the
rabbit ears, 3 VHF channels
and a couple of fuzzy UHF ones.

At least I can hear it when
it’s turned up full blast.

This getting old shit
is sure getting old.

!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

Garde Your Manger

fareObscure title, huh?

Not if you work
in the restaurant biz,
it ain’t.

I was having
(or trying to have)
dinner at my local
greasy spoon —

— and it was taking
long enough for Caesar
to have grown his salad
from seed –

– so I inquired about it-
(very nicely, I might add-
— always be kind if you a2
expect to be able to eat
what you order, and
without any ‘special sauce‘).

The manager went back to
find out what was up-
and I heard the cook
yell at her that the wait
couldn’t be helped,
cause he was agnmae
quote: “In The Weeds“.

(We were obviously seated in
the preferred seating section,
(AKA: “Bob Uecker’s table”
— right next to the kitchen ).

She shouted back at him
that she needed that
‘Blue Plate‘ ‘on the fly‘ ,
and to ‘86 the B.S.’ ! ”

Uh huh.
So, what about
MY meal,
I wondered….
athat
— cause I didn’t order
anything blue, or with
flying insects on it.

Further, I didn’t know
diners had combination
plates like the Dragon Palace,
cause I always order
the number 23 there.

Of course, I’m saying this
with some tongue planted
firmly into cheek —

(and that’s a pretty good
arrangement in the right await
kinda company…. )

— since my daughter works
in a restaurant – but, it is
genuinely funny how
different the language
can get in the heat of
the professional kitchen.

Assuming your local
diner qualifies –
which in my case,
I’m not all that sure of.

Ahem.

And, yes, bute
thanks for asking,
I did finally get my
Chicken Caesar salad–

— although just what the
hell I was thinking in
ordering anything fancier
than a scrambled egg
on toast (otherwise known
as ‘wrecked chicks on a raft‘)
or a baked potato
with sour cream
(‘a blonde hot Murphy‘ )
in that dump is beyond me.

Anyhoo– let’s talk about
a couple of the morea1
interesting idioms..

Eggs seem to have several
special terminologies
dedicated to them
depending on the region
and who/what’s cooking:

‘Cackle berries’
‘Egnosticz’

‘Hen Fruit’
‘Googs’
‘Chickies/Chicks/Chicklets’

And you can get them
in a large variety of styles –

‘Wreck Em’
(scrambled )atip

‘Scregged’
( really scrambled)

‘Shell Angels’
(hard boiled)

‘A Hub Cap’
(sunny side up)

‘Scotched’
(breaded, stuffed,
and then deep fried)

‘Puddle in a Golf Ball’
(soft boiled)

‘Dead Eye’
(1 poached )

‘Adam and Eve’
(2 poached)

‘Flop Two’
(fried over easy)

‘Gus-Burgered’
( add hamburger) —

and
‘ Doing The Eggman ‘
( umm– you’ll have to look
that one up for yourself
——  hint: Eric Burdon.
Sorry, I’m got side-tracked)

Ahem.

Hot dogs, too,
as you might expect,
have more than
their fair share —

‘Coney Island Chicken’
‘Bowsers’
‘Bun Pup’
‘Hosers’
‘Tube Steak’
‘Ripper’ (a deep fried hot dog)

And once you start
adding condiments,
well, better bring a
local cook or
at least a lexicon —

Breathe On It ” –
add onion.

Pitch In The Hay ” –
add sauerkraut.

With Frog Sticks “-
add French Fries.

Give It A Hemorrhage ” –
add ketchup.

Paint It Yellow ” –
add mustard.

On The Hoof ” –
cooked rare.

Pittsburgh Style” –
scorched.

Waxed ” –
add American cheese.
(YUK)
Pull Me A Shot
From Hotlanta
” –
add a Coke.

Save The Slush ” –
Ugh, no ice in that Coke.

And, as you can quite
plainly tell, there’s way
too many of these1905
things to list em all….
which, of course,
means you’ll be seeing
a sequel about the
subject soon enough
right here on this
channel, so stay tuned.

In the meantime,
keep yourself
Sunny Side Up ” !

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

ymoon

 

Re: The Health Benefits of Touching

So,
judging from the
title of this here post,

you might be thinking
that your Ole Uncle Nuts
might be feeling a bit
sensually deprived and
detached,

… confused by the
whole lack of tactility
involved in all things digital.germless

Hmmm….

Ordinarily, I’d say that
you might have
something there.

But this time, well,

Ya see….
I was getting ready to
write my daily post,

…. which I was going to entitle the:
“The Health Benefits of Touching“.

And this song came on Spotify: touchmedoors

Come on,
come on,
come on,
come on —

Now touch me, baby
Can’t you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won’t you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?
Now, I’m gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I’m gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby

( Lyrics from ”Touch Me
by the Doors:
Written by Robby Krieger. )

Ok… so you know the song.

And, as I started to write,

I got sidetracked mulling
over just how ironic it is for
me to be using the above
song lyrics- “Touch Me”
by the Doors Robby Krieger —

— to open a post about
the “health benefits of touching”—–

Considering the original title
of the song wasn’t ” Touch Me “,
at all —
— but ” Hit Me “. dont

I kid you not.

Robbie Krieger was constantly having fights with his girlfriend,

…. and wrote the song during one of their more passionate disputations.

She apparently was quite a bantamweight.

Once Jim Morrison heard the song’s rough cut,

….. he decided he didn’t like the theme,

and thought something a bit
more in tune with the whole
‘love generation’ thing would be better.

A peace sign does kinda loses
it’s meaning when you’re
hitting somebody with it.

donttouchWell, anyway, it’s a long story,

and entirely off topic from what I wanted to post about,

…….. which is the “health benefits of touching”.

It’s funny how different an original concept can be from the finished product, isn’t it?

—a work can be so changed during the process of it’s creation and production as to alter the impression and meaning of a work completely.

I always say, when it happens to me,
….. that it’s a function of my short attention span….

aaaI’ll start working on a project,

…… say, the “health benefits of touching”,

and thinking,

Hey, it’ll be a pretty straight forward deal.

But, I think the process of editing
and refining a work often brings
out ideas and concepts that ,

…. although originally not even
intended as a part of it, end up
taking charge of the piece.

Not that it has anything really
to do with the “health benefits of touching“.

touchI think you know what I mean…..

Maybe you’re just not into your subject all that much–

Maybe something entirely different is screaming to get writ —

and all you keep doing,

… is try to write a stupid post
on the “health benefits of touching“.

Boy, howdy — that always seems to happen to people.

Not to me, of course.air

If I set down ready to write about something, no matter how mundane or sublime the subject might be —

Whether the post is a simple humor piece, a lifestyle article on the “health benefits of touching” ,
or a complicated review of high tech gear,

— I’m as focused as a Phalanx CIWS
Radar Guided Laser, man.

Whatever the fuck that is.

Ok..
so maybe I do get distracted from time to time.

hugzIn the process of writing,

yer mind wanders,

sense memory and visual cues kick in,

word play sparks different connotations……

the next thing you know,
….. you went from soufflé to scrambled eggs.

I was the member of a garage band once like that.

Not that it has anything to do with the “health benefits of touching“, either .

We had brought in this guy to play bass on a song we couldn’t get right,

….. and the band ended up being named after him, fer chrissakes.

I’m not saying it’s always a good thing, mind you.

After all, I bet you never heard
of the Gerard Remilard Band, right ?

goofusOf course not.

And I’m not implying that it was the name of the band that was responsible for our utter lack of success….

It definitely had some small relationship to the fact that none of us had any musical talent to speak of.

But, still.

You gotta be careful.

Editing can change everything, man.

Now,
….  about the Health Benefits of Touching ….

a1