Geee Whizz

hwNote:
Please don’t wet yourself,
but there’s probably a coupla objectionable words in today’s extravaganza , so if you’re the sensitive kind, better consult your guru first before reading. 

It’s one of those sayings that we’ve probably heard all our life…

And really,
never knew
where it originally came from.

Or even,
what it really means.

It’s the uniquely
American expression
” Gee Whiz ” —

and it’s actually been
around a lot longer
than you might think.

The first applicationmar57
of it I could find
dates way on
back to the 1880’s,
in the Warren (PA) Ledger:

” When younger days
have flown

And we are older grown,
We sit and muse – –
We’ve got the blues.

Morning and night
we fret,

And, cold or dry or wet.
In petulance pout – –1957
We’ve got the gout.

We have accomplished
naught,

Our fight was poorly
fought – –

Gee whiz ,
The rheumatiz. “

As you can see,
it’s a little ditty about aging.

Jeeez-
who’d a thunk that, huh?

It’s so fun to be getting older–
who could possibly
wanna complain about THAT?

Which reminds me….

Both ‘Gee Whiz’ and ‘Jeez’
( which dates back further )
are what linguists would
call ‘minced oaths’
and euphemistic abbreviations
of the name of Jesus Christ.

(‘Gee Whiz’ –
‘Jesus’s Wisdom’)

Minced Oats —g1

no, wait,

you might be saying…
I had that for breakfast…..

Nope —
this got nothing
at all to do with
Quakers in funny hats
selling mushy cereal, man.

Minced Oaths –
are little turns
of language
you might use as tricky
little substitutionsg3
for saying stuff
that would be
otherwise considered
profane,
blasphemous,
offensive,
or just plain
obnoxious otherwise.

For instance,
your stupid
brother in law
might have
un-jacked a
four-ton truck down
on your toe,g2
and you want
to express
your mild displeasure
about it —

And instead of saying:
” WHAT THE F@CK
YOU G@DD@MN S@NOFAB@TCH
D@MN C@CKS
@CKING B@STARD ?? ”

You might say:
” Pardon me,
you gosh-darn
summina-batch
darn cork-screwinggallon
bust-a-nut,
you seem to have
dropped something.”

To which he may reply:  
” Fup off, ya grasshole,

Or,

“This lift jack is
such a clustermug,
you mothersmucker “

See?

Much better, huh?

Ok–
so maybe it ain’t.

I never really saw the
point of dancing around,
when it comes time
for a real cussing-out party.

When they edited one
of my favorite movies
” Repo Man ” for TV,
they actually used the
most badly constructed
minced oath I’ve ever
heard to dub over a line:

“Flip you, melon farmer!”engineer

Ummmmm…..
not quite the same thing
as the original, I would say.

Or in
“The Big Lebowski”s
TV release—

“This is what happens
when you find
a stranger in the Alps”

—— was used in place of :

“This is what happens
when you fuckgws
a stranger in the ass”

Dumbarts Fargin’
Media Bastiches.

See…..

Sometimes,
there’s really no
good substitute
for a well placed
obscenity.

But polite society
doesn’t cotton to it,
not at all.

And thus,
we’ve got these
little pieces of shorthand
to help out.

Interesting.

I don’t know too many
people who use the
expression ” Gadzooks ” —
but that there is actually a
classic piece of blasphemous
minced-oathing from
way, way back.

(the 1600’s)

It’s short for
“God’s Hooks” —
and refers to the nails
in the Christian cross.

Actually,
you might surprised
how many of these
have snuck into the
language over
the century.

For instance,
I got knocked up-side
the head by a Jesuit priest
for using this one
in parochial school —

EGAD“.

Hell,
I have no idea how
I was using THAT
in a sentence —

and knowing me
at that age,
I was just trying to
get a reaction, anyway,

………. but boy,
did I get one.

And a lecture on
how that’s just
another way
of using the
Lord’s name in vain.

There’s also:

Golly By Jove
Gosh
Goldarnit
John J Kripes
etc, etc, etc.

And if you open
the concept
of a cussing jar
(you put a quarter
in everytime you cuss )
all up to the huge
variety of different
minced oaths
you could use,cussjar

well….

You could make
a friggin’ mint.

And yes,
I do have my favorites….

Like:

Fargin’ Icehole ”
and
” Why don’t you ram it up
your pim-hole, you
fusking cloff prunker.”

Hey–
— AM I RICH YET ?????

!!! HOY !!!!

.

PS: Yes, this is a real Vargas work,
one of his last, featuring actress
Bernadette Peters, and used
on her album cover of the same name.

“Gee Whiz” was one of the
songs featured on the LP.

And not a bad album, actually.

Cheers !!!!
.