Stress Off

b1The rough and tumble pace
of every day life can really
be a challenge these days…

The stresses of:

work, money,

It can really cut
into your horizontal
fun-time quotient, ya know ?

We’re working more,
but we have less leisure time,
and less money for recreation—

wifeAnd, if there’s an energy crisis anywhere,

–it’s in the amount of energy
we have left to expend on the
more fun, interesting and sexier stuff.

— after working,
paying taxes,
and fulfilling our responsibilities,

we’ve got little left over.

There’s been all kinds of social changes,
bringing their own special problems…

For instance,1
kids are living at home longer now…..

— it’s actually very common for 20 somethings.

And this certainly could put the KYE-BOSH
on any fun-time activities …..

for anybody,
and everybody in the house !

I guess if you think about it hard enough,  a1
you could always find alternative places
where you could go to ….
errrr …..
express yourself…..

But the atmosphere of some places,

even the more out of the way places,

a…. can just kinda ruin the moment.

The sweet girl-next-door –

– and the stalwart,
hard working,
monogamously-dedicated family-man types

are becoming pretty rare,

and I guess it can be hard to meet those kinds of folks at times…

— but then neither type was ever really known aa
as all that sexually adventurous to begin with, anyway.

internet dating is kinda impersonal,

and can be very unreliable……

Candor in terms of personal online relationships has tanked.

And the explosion of electronic technology
has blurred the lines of recreation…

Reverse electronic fantasies –

afantasies that reality can’t measure up to,

—but electronics CAN put into some digitized form –

have replaced the kind
you used to try to make come true for yourself.

Certain aspects of our culture have left people feeling
as if human face to face contact isn’t necessary,
or even desirable,
in order to enjoy our lives….

As if somehow, we could,
or should, call
exist as if we were all living in some kinda vacuum.

I read last week about a guy who claims to be in love with his .

His vacuum cleaner, that is.

I think it was a Hoover.

I wonder if it was one of them ones
with all the special attachments.

(I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a Roomba, anyway. )

Oh sure,

airbubbleI guess you might choose
to add some sex toys to your repertoire
to attract more interest from the opposite sex …

or perhaps it might have the opposite effect ?

No man really likes the idea
that a mechanical device can do a better job
at satisfying a woman than he can…

from her perspective,
it must be hard to argue with 40 pulses per second.

And there’s no substitute a1a
for knowing what to say and how to say it….

That’s one of the purposes of a tongue, ya know.



If it becomes too much trouble to get you some,

it’s certainly easy enough
to find a up close and personal substitute for REAL sex,
peterpeckerI guess…

you can get you an inflatable
Rachel Hunter doll with real imitation Kiwi accent.

Cricky Dick!!
Oh BONK me fanny with yer wee cracker!
! ” —

Or, for you girls,

the Peter Pecker Doll,
always a big seller….

So there’s always options, I guess.baa

You could even open up
one of them there sex farms
like they got up there in Washington State.


that’s a baaaaaaaad idea, that.

Or, you could do things the OLD FASHIONED way,

aand then,
if you really want some variety,

… all you’d have to do is switch hands.


I dunno……

There’s still something missing,

Don’t ya think?




The experiential element ?

Doesn’t anybody think that
the most interesting thing about sex
is the physical, mental, and emotional interaction
between two people anymore ?

Or is really just all about orgasms in a vacuum?

not that Hoover thing again.

HOY !!!!


Rationing in the 1940’s

Some of the things
that we often forget
about the World War II
generation are the
type of hardships
they had to endure
on a daily basis —

— and,
a good example
of this is rationing.

Just about everything that
we would consider to be
necessities of daily life
were subject to some
kind of war-time rationing,

–not just in the United States,
but even more especially
in Europe, Asia and Australia.

In 1945 Britain,
for instance,
the bacon ration was less
than 4 ounces per week
(per person), while the
cheese ration was a
mere 2 ounces.
8 ounces of sugar
and 2 ounces of tea
and butter would
also have to suffice.

Clothes, soap, paper,
and fuel were also
tightly controlled.

Actually, some of these
controls got even tighter
for several years after
the war ended.

Bread was rationed
until 1948, and clothes
in Britain were still
being rationed in 1949.

Consumers in the United States
generally had much lighter
restrictions as far as
quantity was concerned,
but there were very strict
controls on items like fuel,
tires, and sugar.

An example of this would
be the fact that a person
could only own 5 tires –
4 on his car, and 1 spare,
and they became next
to impossible to replace.

Any extra tires- like on
a second car, were confiscated
for use in the war effort.

Of course, there was very little
incentive to own a second car,
since gasoline was rationed
with the use of “A”, “B”, “C”
and “X” sticker system —

–the average Joe with an
“A” sticker would qualify
for no more than 4 gallons
of gas per week.

( And you had to take
good care of the car you had —
because the U.S. auto industry
had stopped manufacturing
civilian cars by 1942–
so you couldn’t buy a new one )

Sugar was limited to
half a pound a week,
and the coffee ration,
which was issued every
five weeks, was 1 pound.

Some medicines, like penicillin,
were almost completely
unavailable to civilians.

Fats, meats, cheeses,
and processed foods
were also tightly controlled.

When one looks back
at all the rationing coupons,
charts, tables, and cards
that were in daily use by
the average citizen,
it’s mind boggling —

— how the American mother
of 1944 fed her family and
functioned with such bureaucratic
red tape and limitations —

but it worked surprisingly
well, considering.

As a part of keeping
the whole system running,
price controls were instituted
on daily staples, which helped.

But of course, there was
still a large black market,
through which almost
anything could obtained,
for a price.

This was frowned upon
as unpatriotic – but it was
a common enough thing
for a consumer to use/acquire
ration stamps fraudulently
(especially the ‘red’ stamps,
which were to be used for
butter and meat,
or to buy steaks and chops
‘from behind the counter’.)

Fortunately, all war rationing
in the United States ended
in 1946 —

By then, the system had become
so complicated that it was getting
to be impractical, anyway.

And who knows what would
have become subject to rationing,
if the system had been continued.

So, be thankful for
what you got, man !

!!! HOY !!!!!!

Only You Can Prevent Hotfoot Teddy



One of my favorite animals.

As you probably
still remember (not)
my several cutting edge (not)
posts about bears….

I won’t bore you with the
conventional pictures of
mooching pic-a-nic baskets
at the local National Forest….

nor will I be making any
more lame puns about
can’t bear this,
bare-ly that,
and going bare here or there.

or, for that matter,
will I describe anything
related to bears as a real honey.

No, my plan is to bore you
with something completely
different —
— lame trivia.

Ok, so I don’t really think
it’s lame once you hear
this story…

Pretty surprising
and cool, actually.

I can’t speak for the pictures
I end up attaching
on the post, though —

I mean, they kinda
choose themselves
from the mailbag,
and I just try
to make them
make sense somehow.

Anyhoo —
back to that very surprising piece
of bear trivia that I sorta promised you.

Did you know that there
really was a Smokey the Bear ?

Here he is.

Good lookin’
little feller, ain’t he ? –>

Ok, so, no cool hat ,
and I don’t think he did
all that much talking either,
but he was single-pawedly
responsible for reducing
forest fires in the United States.

And despite the smart alecky
title of this post,
which was chosen more
in another lame attempt at
witticism than any commentary
on Ole Smokey —
I’m a big fan.

The story is this:

During World War II,
the U.S. Forest Service had
become increasingly concerned
about the number of acres
destroyed by forest fires each year,
and decided it needed an
advertising campaign to
remind people to be mindful
of the dangers —

–they developed a variety
of posters and slogans,
(one of them a talking
Ranger bear named Smokey)
but nothing seemed to be
catching the imagination
of the public.

Then, in 1950, a huge fire,
thought to have been
caused by a carelessly
tossed cigarette butt,
burned over 17,000 acres
in the Capitan Mountains
of New Mexico.

The U.S. Army and
New Mexico forestry people
responded to put out the fire —

–the area had been
reduced to a cinder —

but, clinging to the limb of a
burned out tree was a small
black bear cub (3 months old).

He was badly injured,
but he was taken to Sante Fe
and nursed back to health.

Originally, the soldiers
who found him had
nicknamed him
” Hotfoot Teddy “-

— but the Forest Service quickly
realized the powerful potential
of the story, and renamed
him “Smokey”.

When he was well enough,
they took him on a national tour,
with plenty of chances for photo opps.

And sure enough,
Smokey’s story caught on
with the public, and
forest fire awareness soared.

Smokey finally took up
residence at the National Zoo
in Washington, where he lived 26 years,
(he actually had his own Zip Code-
20252, for all his fan mail )
until his death in 1976.

His remains were returned
to New Mexico, to what is
now the Smokey Bear Historical Park,
in Capitan, and a memorial plaque
there tells his life’s story.

And what a remarkable story it is….

It boggles the mind how many
millions of acres of forest
have been saved with the
help of that little bear.

So, here’s to Smokey !

And remember, y’all…..

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires.

!!!! HOY !!!!


Shake It Like A Polaroid Pitcha

a2Polaroid cameras used to be
the leading edge in
photographic technology.

Just think about it
for a second.

Instead of waiting
a whole week or so
for your pictures to be
developed by the local Fotomat…..

— you could snap and picture
with your trusty Polaroid,

and after a few anxiousa4
moments waving the print
around in the air —

you’d peel the paper back ,
and presto —

— a brand new picture
of your second cousin.

it was grainy,
sorta outta focus,
and already starting to fade,
but it was pretty damned
close to ” instant ”  —

as close as you were
gonna get in a personal camera
for the 1970’s, anyway.
Even ‘selfies’ were possible,
despite the fact they
weren’t called that, then.

You just had to have
very long arms.

And the Polaroid cameras
were excellent on those
special occasions when
you were interested in
taking the kinds of picturesbath
that you couldn’t send to
the Fotomat, even
if you wanted to.

you know the ones.

The ones you’ve still got
tucked away between the
pages of a 1979 edition
of the Rand McNally Atlas
of Eastern Europe.

Come on —
what else would you need
a boundary map of Jugoslavia for ?

The funny thing is,
nobody’s figured it out.