Poor Frozen Charlotte

popsicleAbout that title…..

Yes, you’re right,

—- about it being pretty
damn cold here in
beautiful North Carolina
the last couple of days…

Brrrrrrrrr.

Still,
It’s not as bad as
where my nephew lives–

— he had about 5 feet of
snow a coupla days ago.

snowmanAnd, several hundred
miles from here,
one of my favorite
friends in the world
caught the flu from
her new husband

—– and got snowed in, too.

That’s the way to spend
your honeymoon, right?

So I’ve got nothing really
to complain about, I guess.

And I’m not grumblin’
or complainin’,
(exactly)
mind you.change

My gym was all but empty,

— I practically had the place to myself.

(Nobody ventures out
if they don’t have to
around here
when it’s as cold as it’s been….
—- except me,
and my motorcycle. )

which tells me,
that maybe,charlotte

….. just maybe,

Winter DOES have some small positive attribute.

But,
mostly,
it simply inspired
another one of my
‘weird trivia from the past’ posts.

This one.froz

Getting back to that title…

A long, long time ago, ( 1839 )

…. in a land far, far away ( New York )

There was an article
in the New York Observer,
about how a young girl –
-on her way to a New Year’s Eve ball-
froze to death while riding
in an open sleigh.

Despite the bitter cold temperatures
(the low that night was
around 10 degrees °F)
she had refused to cover up
her pretty new dress with a blanket.

Oh, daughter dear,” sligh
her mother cried:
“This blanket ’round you fold;
It is a dreadful night tonight,
You’ll catch your death of cold.”

“O, nay! O, nay!”
young Charlotte cried,

And she laughed like a gypsy queen;
“To ride in blankets muffled up,
I never would be seen.”

The above verse is from a folk ballad
based on the event,
called “Young Charlotte”,necklace
by Seba Smith in 1840.

It recalls poetically the
young girl’s belief
that somehow radiant beauty
would overcome biting cold,

— and the unhappy,
but almost unavoidable outcome
of personal vanity when it opposes Mother Nature’s will.

She was so busy chatting
away to her beau,
and showing off her
new outfit to the city,
that,
by the time anyone —frozencharlotte

— ( including,
presumably,
her or her boyfriend ) —

realized it,
she had a lethal case
of hypothermia.

Her sweetheart’s somewhat
valiant attempts at reviving her
were also mentioned :

“He took her hand in his —
O, God!
‘Twas cold and hard as stone
He tore the mantle from her face,
Cold stars upon it shone.
Then quickly to the glowing hall,
Her lifeless form he bore;
Fair Charlotte’s eyes were closed in death,
Her voice was heard no more.

Now, I do recognize
that it is a very sad story.

talkBut even more interesting to me is this item,

— from about 30 years after the fact – 1870.

It’s called a ‘Frozen Charlotte’ doll.

These little porcelain china dolls
became quite popular in the latter part of the 19th century,

…. basically between 1850 and 1925….

They were a kind of momento-with-a-moral,
based on the unfortunate girl’s story.

They’re still very collectible
as a doll or a historical curiosity.

Actually, even more so,
is a strange male version —
called a “Frozen Charlie”.

I kid you not.quality

This little Frozen Charlotte came with her own little coffin,
and the motto:

Don’t Talk So Much ” .

I dunno–

I get the idea,
but maybe
Dress Warm
would be just as good.

Or, better yet —
one that says :

SAY NO TO SNOW ” .

enochbolles

HOY!

 

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Help! Santa Got Me

I’ve got nothing
against Santa, man.

When you really
get down and think
about it…..

the whole buzz
on the street about him
having a ‘thing’ for
reindeer —

and his rather peculiar way
of breaking into people’s
houses in the middle of the
night —

not to mention that thing
you saw Mama doing to
Santa under the mistletoe
that night —

doesn’t over-ride the
most important aspect
of the holiday —

— getting lots of
presents.

Hey,
I heard the reindeer like it,
and it’s worth a glass of milk
and a crummy cookie or two,
ain’t it ?

But truthfully, if there’s
one holiday job that there
ain’t enough money in the
world to pay me to do –

It’s the job of
department store Santa.

Sure, I know
what you’ve heard–
that they’re really all
Santa’s helpers
from the North Pole.

But, that’s
just bullshit.

Yes, not only are
those guys imposters —

but they’re actually
miserably paid temporary
workers in ill fitting costumes…

— who probably don’t even
get enough health insurance
to protect them from
catching heaven-knows-what
from those disease-carrying
screeching rugrats that strange
people keep shoving onto
their laps for a lousy
photo opp.

(I wonder if the real Santa
knows about all this….. )

I’m not that crazy about
kids, anyway…..

I love my own,
but other people’s
— I can definitely do without.

And having to go to work
day after day, knowing
that one or more of those
little bastards will be
sitting on my lap while
they scream bloody murder
in my ear, piss their (and
thus, mine) pants and try
to pull off the cotton wool
glued to my face ?

Fuck that.

It’s amazing you don’t hear
of more about guys doing
that job going ape-shit
postal at the Outlet or
the Fashion Square,
ya know ?

Man, you talk about
sainthood —
those guys deserve it.

Even if they are
impostors
and all.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Garde Your Manger

fareObscure title, huh?

Not if you work
in the restaurant biz,
it ain’t.

I was having
(or trying to have)
dinner at my local
greasy spoon —

— and it was taking
long enough for Caesar
to have grown his salad
from seed –

– so I inquired about it-
(very nicely, I might add-
— always be kind if you a2
expect to be able to eat
what you order, and
without any ‘special sauce‘).

The manager went back to
find out what was up-
and I heard the cook
yell at her that the wait
couldn’t be helped,
cause he was agnmae
quote: “In The Weeds“.

(We were obviously seated in
the preferred seating section,
(AKA: “Bob Uecker’s table”
— right next to the kitchen ).

She shouted back at him
that she needed that
‘Blue Plate‘ ‘on the fly‘ ,
and to ‘86 the B.S.’ ! ”

Uh huh.
So, what about
MY meal,
I wondered….
athat
— cause I didn’t order
anything blue, or with
flying insects on it.

Further, I didn’t know
diners had combination
plates like the Dragon Palace,
cause I always order
the number 23 there.

Of course, I’m saying this
with some tongue planted
firmly into cheek —

(and that’s a pretty good
arrangement in the right await
kinda company…. )

— since my daughter works
in a restaurant – but, it is
genuinely funny how
different the language
can get in the heat of
the professional kitchen.

Assuming your local
diner qualifies –
which in my case,
I’m not all that sure of.

Ahem.

And, yes, bute
thanks for asking,
I did finally get my
Chicken Caesar salad–

— although just what the
hell I was thinking in
ordering anything fancier
than a scrambled egg
on toast (otherwise known
as ‘wrecked chicks on a raft‘)
or a baked potato
with sour cream
(‘a blonde hot Murphy‘ )
in that dump is beyond me.

Anyhoo– let’s talk about
a couple of the morea1
interesting idioms..

Eggs seem to have several
special terminologies
dedicated to them
depending on the region
and who/what’s cooking:

‘Cackle berries’
‘Egnosticz’

‘Hen Fruit’
‘Googs’
‘Chickies/Chicks/Chicklets’

And you can get them
in a large variety of styles –

‘Wreck Em’
(scrambled )atip

‘Scregged’
( really scrambled)

‘Shell Angels’
(hard boiled)

‘A Hub Cap’
(sunny side up)

‘Scotched’
(breaded, stuffed,
and then deep fried)

‘Puddle in a Golf Ball’
(soft boiled)

‘Dead Eye’
(1 poached )

‘Adam and Eve’
(2 poached)

‘Flop Two’
(fried over easy)

‘Gus-Burgered’
( add hamburger) —

and
‘ Doing The Eggman ‘
( umm– you’ll have to look
that one up for yourself
——  hint: Eric Burdon.
Sorry, I’m got side-tracked)

Ahem.

Hot dogs, too,
as you might expect,
have more than
their fair share —

‘Coney Island Chicken’
‘Bowsers’
‘Bun Pup’
‘Hosers’
‘Tube Steak’
‘Ripper’ (a deep fried hot dog)

And once you start
adding condiments,
well, better bring a
local cook or
at least a lexicon —

Breathe On It ” –
add onion.

Pitch In The Hay ” –
add sauerkraut.

With Frog Sticks “-
add French Fries.

Give It A Hemorrhage ” –
add ketchup.

Paint It Yellow ” –
add mustard.

On The Hoof ” –
cooked rare.

Pittsburgh Style” –
scorched.

Waxed ” –
add American cheese.
(YUK)
Pull Me A Shot
From Hotlanta
” –
add a Coke.

Save The Slush ” –
Ugh, no ice in that Coke.

And, as you can quite
plainly tell, there’s way
too many of these1905
things to list em all….
which, of course,
means you’ll be seeing
a sequel about the
subject soon enough
right here on this
channel, so stay tuned.

In the meantime,
keep yourself
Sunny Side Up ” !

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

ymoon

 

Postum Partum

I love coffee.

I drink about a
gallon a day,
and cannot
conceive of a time
or a place
where/when
sane people
wouldn’t
feel the same
about it that I do.

However,
there are
those
folks…

you know, —
the ‘unleaded’ ones..

— who drink
de-caffeinated coffee
like it’s the
most natural
thing in the world,
when actually they’re
disturbing the fine-line
balance of the universe
even suggesting such
an irresponsible and
inconceivable concept.

Ughhhhhh!

(Ok, so I’m being a bit
snarky, I know,
but I haven’t had
my morning cuppa yet. )

Bitterness ?

Well, I mean,
I like the flavor
of coffee ok- I guess –

– there are certainly
things (and people)
that I’d rather taste-

but without that
wonderful ‘hit’ or ‘jolt’
I got from coffee,
I just don’t know
why I would even
bother going to the
trouble of making it.

I literally don’t do
anything before
some coffee gets
down my gullet .

(damn it, what’s taking
so long for that Java ? )

I’m not even sure
that my eyes would
open wide enough
to go anywhere or do
anything without it.

(oh, there it is. 
ahhhhhhhhhh… )

Habit?

Aww,
so what?

A guy’s just
gotta have
vices,
after all….

Talk about
making sacrifices.

I already had to
give up scratching
myself in public,
didn’t I ?

So, anyway —
once upon a time,
there was this evil
ad campaign to
make people think
that coffee
was somehow
bad for ya —

— it would interfere
with your sleep
(which of course,
is the point of Java)

— and that it would
‘stunt your growth’.

The product ?

A roasted cereal
product called “Postum”.

And their ads, which often
featured a character named
“Mister Coffee Nerves”,
were designed to create
doubt and fear in the
minds of coffee drinkers
of it’s safety —

— ultimately for
the benefit and profit
of the makers of
Postum,
of course.

As you can see
from the featured
print ads on today’s
post, all kinds of
insinuations about the
comparative healthiness
of caffeinated versus
decaffeinated beverages
were made —

— and the ads are a case
in point for how
‘down and dirty’ sponsors
are willing to get in order
to sell their products.

As far as flavor
was concerned,
it required a certain
adjustment when
used as a coffee
replacement,

— but since the primary
selling point was
that it was a hot drink
that contained no caffeine,
(and was a ‘healthy
nerve food’)
many people really
did make the switch
in the 1930’s,
and even more in the
times of coffee rationing
during World War II.

The 1950’s and 1960’s
were a struggle for Postum,
and the last spike in sales
occurred in the 1970’s,
during a sudden increase
of coffee prices.

After that, Postum
became all but
forgotten, and
today, it’s been
licensed-out
by the original
manufacturer
to a small company
relegated to specialty
markets.

Cranks.

Long may coffee shine !!!

!!! HOY !!!!

Paper Dresses Catch On Fire

The whole concept
of a paper dress
may seem to us in
this ‘oh, so enlightened’ era
to be a pretty bad idea…

you know,
flammable,
easily torn,
kinda formless —
and
impossible to wash.

but it was a
really big thing
in the 1960’s.

Scott Paper started
the hub-bub
(the 1960’s one, anyway)
by advertising dresses
made in their patented
“Dura-Weave” process —

for a $1.25, you’d get a
“Paper-Caper” ‘optical art’
garment —
— in red or black.

Of course, you had to fill
out a coupon and wait
four to six weeks –

But then, you had your dress-
which was the total
opposite of what you’d
call ‘form-fitting’
and I’m told, at least, that it
wore much more like a
hospital gown.

You wouldn’t really
predict this thing to
sell 500,000 –
— would you?

Well, it did.

And clothing designers
(as well as other toilet
paper manufacturers )
jumped on the craze.

Hell, Gracie Slick even
mentioned em in a
Jefferson Airplane song.

The one I really remember
(I was just still a
kiddy-winky at the time)
was the “Souper Dress”
which was based on
Andy Warhol’s
Campbell Soup
Cans paintings.

After a while, though —
the nature of paper as
a clothing material
really started to be an issue,
and manufacturers came up
with something that still kinda
looked like paper but didn’t
go up in flames at the
first flash of a bulb.

Apparently, 75% rayon,
25% nylon worked
pretty good as a substitute –

and by 1970,
that was all that was
left of the paper dress craze.

Here’s a couple of examples
to wrap us up for this post.

Thanks to Jen for the
poster dress submission !

!!!! HOY !!!!