Putting A Spin On Pool

” If you hit the ball
like that,
you’ll make it. “

Billiards is a game
that is internationally
popular….

And they’ve
been making postcards
to cash in on the game’s
popularity for a
long time —

At least
120 years.

And
there are
an endless supply
of double-entendre
captions and
implications that go
right along with that.

Just what we really
love around here.

Hey,
any game with racks,
holes, sticks, and balls
is bound to get a little
English spun on it,
right?

Sure,
you can call
it POOL ,
you can call it
8 BALL,
you can call it
CUE BALL,
or you can get
all fancy and call it
BILLIARDS………

Actually, once you
start playing, you find
there are all kinds of
variations that use
the sort of table, cue, balls,
and other stuff in different
ways —

There are games like:
Snooker
Three Cushion
Five Pins
Kelly Pool
Straight Rail
Cutthroat
Kaisa
Pyramid
Carom
Nine Ball
One Pocket
British Pool
et al.

You’d need a very big
book o’ rules to know
how to play most of
these games……..

It’s not just slap any old
ball into any old hole.

Finesse is something
they almost all require.

Aficionados will definitely
call you on the slightest
breach of etiquette, so……..

And I’m told that, if this
isn’t confusing enough,
these different games
can be sub-categorized
into 3 main types :

Carom Style
( doesn’t use pockets )

Snooker Style
( which uses a bigger table)

and what we usually call
“Pool”
(like 8 ball and one pocket).

There’s also
“Bumper Pool”
for those who enjoy
additional obstacles
when playing all
the angles.

I’m confused when I
hear people knock the
game as inappropriate
for young men,
because when you
come right down to it,
the games require an
understanding of
geometry and physics…..

And even more importantly,
as Professor Harold Hill
most eloquently put it :

” Helps ya cultivate
horse sense, and
cool head
and a keen eye. ”

” Did you every take
and try to give an
ironclad leave to
yourself from a three
rail billiard shot? ”

In other words,
one must always think
clearly and considerately
before touching a rack,
or putting his stick and
balls any where near
a desired hole in question.

Which,
seems to me a pretty good
lesson to learn early in life.

Oh shit….

and I thought
this one wasn’t
gonna get dirty.

!!! HOY !!!

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Just One Look

Just one look…..

That’s all it
takes sometimes.

Just one look.

It might be a subtle,
hesitant smile.

A flirtatious blink
of the eyes.

A self-conscious bite
of the upper lip.

A salacious lick
of the lips.

A daring sneer.

A swipe of hair.

A short gasp of air.

Eyes widen.

Pulses race.

Hey,
you know what
I’m talking about.

Flirtation.

Words aren’t nearly as effective
a weapon of mass flirtation as
are facial expressions and body
language.

Words are thought generated.

And as such, can be
easily manipulated.

That other stuff comes from
way down deep.

Faking those are a whole
different ballgame, man.

And while it’s important
to always keep your
monster on a leash,
life would be very,
very dull without
some episodic
interaction
such as these ….

… those little points
of contact that show us
each as the sensual beings
we are.

Besides, these aren’t
the kinds of flirtations
that are implicit invitations
to a Crisco party,

— or some kind of free
pass to grab a handful
of somebody else’s
personal space…..

No,
it’s just a nod to
the people we are in
an alternative universe
that can appreciate up
close, empirical relations
with another human
being without losing
all perspective.

Another time …

Another place …

Another love.

!! HOY !!

Knaughticalites

Image result for postcard Navy vintageYou know,
if there’s one
topic that a Sailor
can always speak
about in a
knowledgeable way,
it’s knots.

Tying knots are ,
along with:
swabbing decks,
chipping paint,
manual of arms,
and standing a
lonely fire watch
at oh-dark-thirty
in the morning,
are about the first
things you learnImage result for lonely postcard Navy
about when
you’re adjusting to
Navy life in boot camp.

Add shining boots,
dropping quarters
on bunks,
scrubbing the head, Related image
doing push-ups
till you die,
cleaning rifles,
and just generally
looking busy are also
very important lessons –

– oh, and
speaking
of knots……..

– who could forget
the most important one-

–the maintenance of
those all essential
emotional knots via
the art of writing letters.

You might be totally
illiterate the day you
arrive at boot camp,
but by graduation,
you’ll have written so
many letters to your
sweetie and back home,Related image
you’ll be a pocket
Hemingway.

One of the advantages
of military service
( at least when I was in )
was that you could write
a letter home on a piece
of box from a C-Ration,
put an address on it,
and it would get delivered –
– no postage required.

I’m not sure how that was
handled by the Navy  –

– all I know is I scribbled
many a line on many aRelated image
scrap of paper and the
letter always got there.

Even the steamier ones.

And boy, can a Sailor
write a steamy letter.

Naturally, it would
be a lot easier
to just go to the
Navy Store and buy a
postcard that already
cut right to the point
for you…..

but in whatever
spare time one
finds himself with
in boot camp, the
loneliness and
boredom makes
one naturally
take to pen and paper.

And that especially
applies when it
comes to that ‘special’
person —

— such things can’t be
left up to random
chance and generic
postcards, ya know.

You’d be surprised
how easily even the
toughest character
finds it to
use terms like:
‘yearning’,
‘desire’,
and ‘devotion’
and epithets like: 
‘my dearest’,
‘darling’, and
‘sweetheart’
in a letter
when he’s far
from home.

When it’s time for
mail-call —

a desire to read a
reciprocal expression
of the feelings expressed
in ones’ own letters
becomes oh, so
very important — 

— when you don’t
hear back right away
sometimes it seems like
you’re totally cut off from
your loved ones.

It can drive ya crazy.

And of course,
you always want to feel
connected to the ole
homestead.

Why does that
sense of being so far
from home make for 
better letter writing ?

Perhaps because
it’s really the only way
to express certain ideas
and feelings at a particular
moment in time —

one is inspired
to make his message
run deep, and clear,
like the blue ocean —

and to tighten the
knots of sentiment,
tenderness,
and intimacy.

Even today, with all the
different technologies
available…

I’m sure that
a heartfelt letter
goes further
to express the
emotions, and
the sense of
appreciation
for those
far from you
in distance
but close to you
in spirit.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Pardon Me

Manners are a
wonderful
thing to a society.

They are the kinda thing
that makes every day life
feel pleasant and civilized –

And the absence of which
makes it a chore, a battle,
one long confrontation.

Everything from waiting
in line at the supermarket
to answering the phone
and driving down the road
are affected —

and simple things
that can make a
huge difference
to others, like
covering your mouth
when you sneeze,
washing your hands
after using the bathroom,
not using handicapped
parking spaces unless
you’re entitled to em,
ya know…
stuff like that.

And it seems as if
a lot of folks today
have forgotten
just how harsh
the ‘law of the jungle’
can be when basic
civilizing customs
are abandoned for
the sake of convenience,
laziness, or ignorance.

I learned
‘please’ and
‘thank you’
back in first grade —

but I get the
distinct feeling
that the curriculum
has been drastically
changed since then.

Not that I mind
showing my teeth
at the odd rude
person now and then..

but the necessity is
getting monotonously
regular these days……

Ahem.

Yes, now,
I know that I have
spouted on and on
about this same topic
before, so , since
profitless prattling
is in itself pretty
unmannerly, I will
simply point out that
this is, indeed, our
vintage postcard theme
for today, and ask your
kind indulgence with
my sincerest wish that
you enjoy them.

And to remind you
that bashing the back
of a guy’s foot with your
shopping cart can push
a man’s manners only so
far before the fangs come
out.

Sorry about any stains
you mighta got on ya
as a result.

.

!!! HOY !!!

Friday’s In The Bag

Friday,
Friday,
Friday !

It’s errrr….
Friday !

I was just thinking
how much I was
missing the whole
‘fish stick’ festival
thing my family did
every Friday back
when I was a kid.

Those actually
weren’t that bad,
once you drown-ded
em in ketchup
and salt.

I haven’t even had a
fish stick in so long ,
and I’d probably no
longer ‘remember’
how ‘great’ they were
— if I did.

Eating fish on friday
was a good way
to remind you
that the weekend was
oh,
so, close.

Which of course,
it is.

Unless you’re reading this
on Monday, in which case,
I would recommend you run
right out and get some
frozen fish sticks and
try to conjure up some
of that lost weekend mojo.

Good luck
with that, man.

Speaking of stuff
that I like–

(ya know,
weekends,
memories of fish sticks… )

I found a couple great
vintage postcards
about Absinthe,
(et al ) 
from the days
when the stuff was
so potent that it made
artists forget
their other paints
and go straight
for the greens
and yellows.

Hey- don’t ask me –

I don’t paint —

so it never
did anything
to me except
make me
horny.

And while
I appreciate
that aspect
for sure,
I’ve never really
needed the
extra help.

.

!!! HOY !!!!

.

 

The Friday Mail Bag

Piles and piles
of vintage postcards —

–nothing —

(ok,
so,
almost nothing)

can make me
happier on a
rainy afternoon
than to spend a
couple of hours
shuffling through
all the goodies,
and finding a few gems
for the Friday Mailbag
post.

And I think you may
like the ones we picked
out —

— at least I hope
you will.

It kinda puts a
bummer-pall
on the whole thing
otherwise.

Cause share-ing it
(or bare-ing it )
is caring.

Errr… it.

And staring is
just plain rude.

Hey,
I’ll bet you don’t
see cards like these
every day.

Although,
now that I
think about it, we’re
posting cards like this
every day on this blog,
so…..

Forget what I was
just saying then….

What I meant was
they’re special.

No,
not special like
that little bus I used
to have to ride to school,
either, wiseguy.

The damn self-talk
around here is
getting down right
argumentative, man.

So,
like –
help out –
and let us know what
you think.

Otherwise,
my habit to referring to
myself as a plural is
only gonna get worse–

and we wouldn’t want
that to continue,
would we ?

No, we wouldn’t.

Thank you.

!! HOY !!

Talking Outta Your Hat

The Friday Mail Bag
post is on the air !

! YAY !

Ok,
so I know it’s
kinda a
hammy-retroish
expression to
open up a post with,

— I admit that openly,
and in all free will
and accord.

But,
dammit,
it’s getting harder
and harder to even
try to be original
with these intros
for the mailbag posts
when all I’m really
doing is bringing on
the next act, as it were.

Maybe ……
I should just
try a riff with a
snare drum and a
cymbal next time….

Like in ole burlesque.

It’d be one thing
if I was introducing
that girl who could
do all those amazing
things with two tassels,
a large flowery hat,
and a plastic snake …

Or those double
jointed twins with
the penchant for riding
backwards on the
handlebars of unicycles.

I know….

I’m just talking
through my hat.

Which kinda gives
me an idea for a
theme of sorts……

Let’s dig down deep
in the mailbag and
see what I can find
to make my headwear
hypothesis ambitions
match the physical
reality of the situation.

Like that’s
never a
problem with
other stuff.

Heh.

If I had a nickle, boy.

!!! HOY !!!

.