Why Minds Misbehave

So, how many times have you wondered —

Why do minds misbehave?

Oh sure, scholars have been wrasslin’ with that question for millennia –

Who knew the answer was as easy as picking up a copy of Modern Romances Magazine.

Seriously.
Who knew?

Yes, here we find
two cases
of mental misbehavior presented…..

One’s childhood related.

Well, knock me down
with one of Mom’s
old fashioned biscuits.

The other ?

Oh, well,
aisle 5 at the drugstore
is one I’ve never visited,
but if you were to drop in
and browse, you might
find just the cure the
lady needed.

According to the ad, anyway.

I’m beginning to think they’ll say anything to sell shit.

!!! HOY !!!!

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Baah Humbug

Baah Humbug ! ”

That olde Scrooge
certainly was an
expressive character,
wasn’t he?

But —
I got to thinking
the other day —

(probably after I realized
the garden section space
of the local Wally World
had been completely
subsumed by lights,
decorations and Holiday
stuff — two months early)

— why would he have
chosen that
particular expression?

Sure, it’s an insect –
– or is it?

No, not really….

it’s actually
a micro-organism,
that lives
in jet fuel, of all things.

Don’t think they had
jet-fuel back then.

I do know that in Britain,
there are candies
called ‘Humbugs’.

One type is a black and
white peppermint,
but another, found in
the Somerset region of England,
featured toffee with
an almond center —

— and there’s a theory
that this gastronomical
let-down (running out
of toffee, and left with
a dry nut) was what Dickens
could have been thinking
of when he wrote
” A Christmas Carol ” .

Could be, I guess.

It was certainly an English
vulgarity of the time to use
the term ‘hum’ as a way
of referring to a deception –
or to a practical joke.

How the bug got in there–
well, that’s another thing
altogether.

There’s plenty of theories.

Interestingly enough,
an Italian expression much
in vogue at the time was
uomo bugiardo’ –
(which equates to
our phrase
— ‘lying bastard’).

I like that explanation a lot,
despite the absolute lack
of any evidence whatsoever
that’s what he had in mind.

Cause that’s the
kinda guy
Scrooge was, I think —

– to figure everyone
was lying
about the potential beauty
and virtues of the season–

After all,
who else
could hate Christmas?

.

.

Safe As A Registered Letter

beatall“Safe as a registered letter “.

Hmmm….

I’m not sure, with the
miserable state of the
Postal Service these days,
that slogan would work
all that well today,
but that indeed was used for
one of the many brands of
“French Letters”, 3flappers
— otherwise known as condoms,
available in the 1930’s.

It gets pretty interesting when
you consider the history of the
noble rubber –

— it wasn’t that long ago
that one of the first things
a ‘ gentleman about town ‘
would do after an illicit liason
was to ‘do his laundry‘.

No-
shirts were not involved. dry

Basically, it meant a man
needed to wash out his
condoms after every use.

Then he would hang them to dry, so they would be ready for re-use.

Yep —

aabefore Latex became
a common material
with which to make condoms,
they were often made out of common rubber —

and reused.

Hence the slang name
most often used in the United States for them.

Before that,
… well …
all kinds of stuff were used.3knights

Because,
condoms actually have
a very old tradition —

going back past even
the ancient Chinese,
and Egyptian cultures.

It’s thought by some scholars
that there’s a cave paintingakron
of an animal bladder condom
being used on the wall of the
Grotte des Combarelles —
—- from 15,000 years ago.

The early Chinese versions
were made of coated silk,
and covered only the head
(glans) —

— they were expensive, blondtex
of course,
and had to be custom made.

No ‘one size fits all’ here.

And these types of condoms,

along with linen ones
and ones made of horn,
were being used in
1500’s Europe, too —

they were actually tied
on with a piece of ribbon.carmen

Animal bladders,
which allowed for the
entire organ to be covered
and were easier to keep on,
became more widely distributed
by Dutch traders to the world,

and they were very popular,
especially in
France, England, and Japan.

But all these optionsmore
were very expensive —

and so,
their use was limited only
to those who could afford them.

It wasn’t until
Galvanized Rubber
was invented in the late 1830’s,
did condoms become available
to the every day working man —

They weren’t all that comfortable,
or reliable, for that matter —

but, they were appreciatedhercules
by most folks as a hedge
against pregnancy and
Venereal Disease.

As the popularity of the
‘rubbers’ caught on,

there also grew a
‘stiff’ resistance to them —

In the 1880’s,
the United States restricted
them from being sold in the mail.vd

Some U.S. states
banned them outright —

as did the Republic of Ireland.

So did Italy under Mussolini,
Spain,
Portugal,
and Nazi Germany.

( It didn’t stop folks from
getting them, of course. )duke

Many churches were outraged
that such a product even existed,

and there are still sects
that do not permit their
adherents to use them.

The social antipathy
that condoms generated
also caused a new coded
slang to be developed —

A condom could be how
cryptically referred to as
a:

Jimmy Hat
Franger
Raincoat
Fez
Dinger
Love Gloveamo1
Cock Sock
Frenchie
Helmet
Scumbag
Slicker
Boot
Cumcatcher
Naughty Bag
Venus Shirta1
Galosh
Flunky
Safety Vest
Tool Bag
Willy Wrap
Dirty Laundry
Pecker Poncho
Gummy
Shower Cap
Baby Baggie

.. etc.drx
…. etc.
……. et cetera.

Latex was invented
in the 1920’s–

and almost overnight,tijuana

made the condom cheaper,
more comfortable,
and, of course, disposable.

Most male condoms today
fall into three categories :
Rubber,
Latex,
and ‘Skin’
(treated animal bladders, etc).

Of course,
you can always get a
“French Tickler”,

if you think you need
a little extra zing….

And a more
‘custom fit’
condom–

called “TheyFit”,

is available currently in
Western Europe
in a variety of sizes…

but the ‘One Size Fits All’
theme still dominates
the market.

There was actually a
‘Spray On’ condom
invented a couple
of years ago,depends

— but since the product
required minutes to
set up and cure,

it proved to be —

well,
let’s say ‘impractical’.

Boy,
shrinkage is a problem
in every industry,
I guess.

.

HOY!

.

oral

 

The Secret Language of Flowers

” I am the rose of Sharon,
and the lily of the valleys.
As the lily among thorns,
so is my love among the
daughters. As the apple tree
among the trees of the wood,
so is my beloved among
the sons. I sat down under
his shadow with great delight,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste. “
— Song of Songs 2: 1-3.

.
TODAY:

Floriography
the symbolic language
of flowers.

Quite aside from the very
specific language of roses
that many of us still use
today (see my post here ) ,
the secret language of flowers
has a long and fabled history –
— going back to biblical times.

Shakespeare and the
Bronte sisters used it often.

For instance,
the laurel has long
been seen as an
emblem of glory,
the oak, of patriotism;
the bay, the poet’s crown,
and daisy, of innocence.

Europeans of the
eighteenth century
experienced a revival/
standardization of the
earlier traditions,
especially in France,
and later Victorians
became particularly
fond of using it.

It gave people of
those eras an
opportunity to
express themselves
without being
limited by the very specific
and stodgy rules about
verbal romantic communication
especially between the sexes.

To Victorians, there was
a vast repository of flowers
and emotive meanings
from which to choose–

— from simple friendship,
innocent flirting,
to suggesting dalliances
and full bloom engagements.

Flowers could ask questions
or make statements, express
gratitude, impatience,
or even curiosity.

It was believed flowers
could bring even
the coldest heart
to blossom into
floriferous ardor.

Surprisingly
pedantic, ain’t I ?

Well, so is this
whole secret
language of flowers.

In the United States,
there were also
several very popular
floral dictionaries,
( like ” Flora’s Interpreter”
and The Flowers Personified”)
in print around mid century
1800’s, and those guides are
still considered by experts
as definitive on the subject.

Interestingly enough,
the sexual revolution
of the 1960’s has also
caused a renewal of
interest in the
cryptography
of flowers —

— wearing a particular
kind of flower,
sending one –
or leaving one at
a table or at the bar,
can be used as a very
subtle signal to those
in the know of a
person’s particular
preferences and
peccadilloes, if you will.

Tomorrow, we’ll
feature some of those.

But it just goes to show you
that floriography is not a
dead language, at all —

— it’s growing and changing,
and adapting as
flowers themselves do.

.

!!!! HOY !!!!

.

 

 

Earl Mac’s 1949 Sketch Book Calendar

In 1949,
Earl MacPherson
was one of the
most popular
illustrator and
pin-up artists
in the United States.

This Oklahoma-born
painter’s annual
” Artist’s Sketch Book ”
regularly outsold
any other calendar
series of it’s time –
and would commonly
adorn the walls
in offices, workshops,
barracks, dens, etc.

A graduate of the
Chouinard School of Art,
he started drawing
pin-ups in the late
1930’s for the
Shaw-Barton
Calendar Company,
and then with
the famous
Brown and
Bigelow Publishing
Company-

— and he continued
his pin up work until
Polio forced his
retirement in 1951.

During the war,
he had created two
sets of pin-up playing
cards for a series called
” Win, Lose, Or Draw” –

– which sold over 165,000
copies in the first four
months of it’s publishing.

Earl Mac’s work has been
seen regularly here on
the Muscleheaded Blog –

but I thought that,
for today’s post –

we’d bring you an
entire calendar –

— to give you an idea of
the beauty and detail
that typified the
“Artist’s Sketch Book ”
series.

This one is from 1949.

The captions for
each month reads:

.

January –
” On The Beach ”

As the tide rolls in
And the sun shines down
Their sun-bathed skin
Turns a honey-brown .

.

February –
” Dude Ranch ”

You got me covered, stranger
Cause cactus scratches skin
And a cowgirl is in danger
When the dudes come riding in.

.

March –
” Reading Improves The Mind”

Reading behooves
A Gal, they say
She really improves
When she tries this way.

.

April –
” Native Belles ”

It’s never too late
For the fun to begin
As the native belles wait
For their ships to come in.

.

May –
” Sweater Girls “

Sweaters worn only
Early in May
Are not necessarily
Here to stay

.

June –
” Sun Tan Gal ”

If a lovely would tan
In the manner royal
It’s a good idea 
To use suntan oil 

.

July –
” The Fisherman’s Daughter ”

The net full of charm 
Is the fisherman’s daughter
She’ll come to no harm 
If she stays in the water 

.

August –
” Exposure ”

If a lot of exposure
Puts a girl on her guard 
She’ll risk the disclosure
When a man’s the reward 

.

September –
” September Morn Sandwiches”

When a sandwich we’re pickin’
Lets cut out the guessing
We’ll order cold chicken 
Without any dressing 

.

October –
” Soup’s On “

Remember the tale of
The tortoise and the hare
The turtle will fail 
Cause he’s stopping to stare 

.

November –
” Sophisticates ”

Artistic MacPherson 
Will surely win fame 
With this cute little person
Who’s easy to frame 

.

December –
” Holiday Festivity ”

In the holiday season
A yule log fire 
Gives our model a reason
For the Christmas desire. 

.

That’s it !

It’s very unusual to come
across one of these complete…

And I hope you enjoyed it —

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strange Loves

” For hundreds of years men and women have talked with hushed voices about “STRANGE PEOPLE” …. ” 

I’ll tell ya —
I’m amazed at the lengths
I will go to find material
for my blog sometimes.

Like reading,
cover to cover ,
a 1933 pseudo-scientific study
about sex- called :
” Strange Loves – A Study
In Sexual Abnormalities ”
by Doctor La Forrest Potter .

I originally found
an ad for it
in an old magazine,
and then dug the actual
publication itself up.

And I dunno what
I was expecting…

maybe I was hoping to
find something spicy,
or salacious, or even just
a little interesting piece
of historical perspective-
– but no luck, Chuck.

And no pics, Chix.

Other than his obvious
fetish for Eugenics,
which he defines as :
” The science of racial
improvement 
by means
of sexual selection.

It’s so mean, Gene.

Just no joy, boy.

So throw out the book,
schnook.

I can also tell you that
according to the good doctor,
society coulda learned a lot
from the Nazi Germans as
far as dealing with anybody
who didn’t subscribe to
conventional sensibilities
about sex —

— you know, anybody not
big into missionary vanilla –
and especially, those
” strange brothers ” –
homosexuals.

Bizarre little tid-bits from
this timorous tome can be
found in the definitions glossary:

Tongue Kiss:
Insertion of the tip of the tongue.
(Wow– how many years of
research did this one take?)

Pollutions:
An emission of semen during sleep.
(Wet dream ?
Call the E.P.A. !!!!!!!!! )

Urning :
A male homosexual.
(It’s new term to me, so it’s a tid-bit.)

Invert :
A male homosexual.
(It’s another new term
to me, so another tid-bit.)

Fairy :
Yeah, you guessed it.
(He’s got plenty more
where those came from.)

Queers:
Men or women practicing abnormal sex.
(I’m beginning to think he’s
got a hangup or two himself)

Promiscuity:
Multiple sexual indulgences.
(You’re NOT supposed to
enjoy yourself, apparently.)

Morganitic Marriage :
A form of concubinage.
(Now, I had to look
this one up outside his own
nebulous explanation —
it basically means to marry
outside your class.)

Well, alright —
let me just boil all of the
very tedious 237 pages
down for you —

(there were about 5 blank pages,
— probably the best parts of it )

— and tell you that the ads
were 100 times more interesting
than anything in the book it was selling.

(note- these last 3 pics weren’t in the book )

Boy, oh boy,
— the things I do for blogging.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!

1943 Disney Employee Handbook

1943 was a hectic time
for Disney Studios —

It was a little over a year
after the sneak attack at
Pearl Harbor, and like
Disney, most people
were engaged in
war-time production
of necessaries –
from tanks
to torpedoes,
from propellers
to propaganda.

Disney had been very busy
in 1942 producing –

morale films like:
“The New Spirit”,
” Donald Duck Gets Drafted“,
and “ Victory Through
Air Power

– social awareness films
like: ” Know Your Enemy

and training films for the
U.S. Navy and U.S. Army
like: “Aircraft Riveting ”
and ” Identifying Warships“.

And 1943 would be
busier still –
– with a huge lineup 
of technical motion
picture projects
for the military
scheduled:

these –
British Torpedo Plane Tactics” 
” Glider Training “,
” Aircraft Carrier
Landing Qualifications “,

” Rules of the Nautical Road “,
– were just a few
for the Navy alone !

Bringing in new
qualified employees
and putting them as
quickly to work as
possible was essential
to this part of the war
effort, so the studio
started to develop
a new Employee
Handbook in 1942 –
called
The Ropes At Disneys ” .

It was a solid attempt
at communicating the
Disney corporate culture
while gently but firmly
reminding new
employees of the
strict rules that
applied to the studio
during war-time.

Page three and four
is an example
of how this was done:

“This is a no-necktie,
sweaters, and slacks
organization. 

Business-like informality
is an accepted Disney policy 

which has done much to
maintain a friendly
relationship 
between
Company and employee.

‘Company Procedure’ –
– said just like that –
has an 
ominous sound,
and yet, we all know that
the observance of certain
‘shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’
is necessary in an
organization as complex
as ours.

Rules and regulations
are set in,
not to dictate,
but to help you
and the Company
arrive at a
common-ground of
mutual trust
and understanding.

The ‘Ropes At Disneys ‘ is
published as a handbook
of general information.

Naturally, personal agreements
with employees, Union contracts,
and other definite commitments
will control.

This booklet is intended merely
to be in the nature of a pointer.
It will tip you off as far as
to ‘what goes’ – and what doesn’t.

If you unwittingly
slip off the beam,
it will give you
a painless nudge
in the right direction.
Please read it carefully. “

.

There are many
interesting aspects
of this little pamphlet
for those interested
in that era –
– did you know,
for instance, that the
Studio maintained
a members-only
(men-only)
after-hours club
on the grounds called
‘The Penthouse’ ?

( I’m told it’s purpose
was similar to some
Officers Clubs on military
bases – an effort to keep
their key people as close
at hand as possible ) .

Generally speaking,
this brochure is an
excellent example of
labor relations materials –
– and aside from a few
obvious items of era-specific
‘political incorrectness’
would still be useful as a
template for contemporary
companies looking to set
a friendly but
professional
tone in their own employee
indoctrination
packages.

And,
of course –
The art,
is the real highlight.

            ——- HOY !!!! ——-