Are You Going With Me

Yes,
now that you
don’t mention it,
it has been kinda
a long time since
we’ve done one of our
world-not-famous
Muscleheaded
‘road-trippin’ posts —

I like doing them
because there’s always
something weird or
wonderful to see
and share –

– things off the beaten path,

– things that aren’t usually
talked about –

– perhaps because they’re
out of fashion,
or
maybe it’s simply
‘out of sight,
out of mind’.

Still, I find these places
just about everywhere I go.

They’re never too crowded,
and often the directions
are hazy on how to get there,
even from the locals.

But these places serve kinda
like trail markers for those
who pursue that vaunted
‘ road less traveled ‘ .

Highway, schlyway —

Who needs the
Interstate Highway
if you want to really
SEE a place.

Of course, sometimes
the problem is
that the
old road that used
to go there
(where-ever ‘there’ is)
has not only been
replaced, but re-purposed
by those who built
the Interstate –

– like long stretches of what
they formerly called
” Route 66 ” –

but since it’s now a
limited access highway,
it completely bypasses
the place altogether.

In other words,
you can’t get there from here“.

(You used to hear that
phrase a lot here
in North Carolina)

It might take you 50 miles
to the next exit, and an
absolute navigational
nightmare to find it, then–

— but it’s still out there,
just waiting for you
to rediscover it.

And you know damn
well it’s worth it —

No matter how
big or small,
important or trivial,
relatively commonplace
or just plain weird —

— it’s some place where
hardly anybody else
has really seen —

— and you gotta
go see it, man.

.

Hey …….

—->> LOOK <<—–

Here’s a couple links
to previous ‘road trippin’
posts to get you on track.

What a coincidence !

(and there are more
if you look in my archive… )

Weird Statues

Kentucky 

Southeast

Northeast 

A Mixed Bag

Weirdly Named

Connecticut 
.

!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!

Mail Bag Mania

jen

Dia dhuit !

You just never
know what’s going
to show up in the Ole
Muscleheaded Mailbag,
and I’ve gotta say–

–today’s seee-lection
is a cross-section of
just about everything
and anything.

If indeed
variety is the spice
of life,

— well,a1
this is one
‘MOY CALIENTE’ post.

Wait–
now that I think of it,
I’m pretty sure that
means a different
kinda hot

which of course,
I would admit readily,holymilkmen
but I probably meant
to say ‘MOY PICANTE’ !

Languages..
— meh.

Damn that leanin’
Tower of Babel, anyway.

All I can say is never
offer to pet a big
drag queen’s cat (chatte)z3
in Paris unless you’re very,
very fluent in the language,
man….

— those cobblestones in
Montmartre can be real
hard on the head !

Oh well, it was only a
French Mistake‘ in a
manner of speaking.

Ahem.

I sure am lucky that
nobody ever reads
these things, right?

Whew.bottomless65

So,
as I was saying
before I went
and did some
deep sea diving
in the bottomless pit
of offbeat, obscure
references….

It’s time for our verytj
popular feature
the Muscleheaded Mailbag
in which we reveal the
innermost contents of the
secret hard-drive ZX-01A

– used to store only the most
neat-o of submissions sent
to us by our lovely readers.1938

We used to have
a floppy disk,
but people kept sending
us dirty stuff,
so now it’s a
hard drive all the way,
… N-How.

Flash drive?zhere

Naaah–

I don’t even like the
sound of that, man.

Just one wrong move
and you’re back
to floppy.

Double entendre?

Yes, please —

make it a triple.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

mexicali

Thanks for the submissions to :
Jen
Katie
Syn
and Karen !

ztj

The Old Jail

jailThis post is part of a
larger series about
old Florida tourist sites.

I grew up down there,
and I do have a
strange attraction
to these
strange attractions.

You can see
much more
The Authentic Old Jail St. Augustine here.
And here.

(And,
as they repeatedly used
to say in the Florida
tourist business,
bring your camera!)

Riding back and fortha1
from Florida when I
was a kid was a long,
tedious adventure–

–visiting relatives in
Philadelphia or Virginia
required one to ride along
mostly two lane roads —

The Florida Turnpike would
only get you
to around Fort Pierce,
and then it was east
and north to U.S. 1oldjail
and eventually,
U.S. 301 —

Man, sitting in the back seat
of a non-air-conditioned
1962 Corvair for that trip
gives new meaning to the
expression
BORED OUT OF YOUR GOURD “.pam

Around 1970, most of I-95
in Florida was open —
except for a huge gap
between Fort Pierce
and West Palm Beach,
(which was mostly for
the pecuniary benefit
of the Turnpike Authority)
— which didn’t open
until the mid 1980’s.

I do remember a sign

that used to creep me
out everytime I passed it,
up on I-95 near St. Augustine —
– for something called the “Old Jail “.

It’s still there,

The Bird Cage, at the Old Jail St. Augustineactually,

(not the sign, but the jail)

although it looks very different
from when I got to visit it
first in the late 1960’s.

I can’t say I really liked
the place all that much
on that trip —

but it certainly was very
representative of the
weirdness of Florida
tourist traps of the period.

drunkdunkAnd it was only a block or two
from another odd site in
Florida’s First City —
the “Fountain of Youth”.

So, we parked and walked.
Now, you’d take the
tourist ‘trolley’.

( Ok, it ain’t all that bad…gallows
— I liked it in Key West.)

Anyhoo…
as I was saying….
Weird, weird, weird.

I’m really not sure how
these relics from the
dark ages of correctional
history add up to scenic
entertainment exactly,

— but they included:gang

a gallows that could
accomodate up to
three men (no waiting!) ,

a large ‘bird cage’ used
for solitary exposure in
the hot, Florida sun,

a statue of a chain gangmooon
at work,

old jail cells,

a pillory,

a whipping post,

and other such ephemera.

Yes,
Funn ferr the whole family.post

And of course, the place
is also supposed to be haunted…

which basically means
that you can pay your
admission to see the joint
in the daytime,

— and then come back
and pay your admission
again at night as part
of a ‘ghost tour’.

OOooooooo–
scary, kids.

Oh well, maybe they’ll
give you the ‘true believer’
discount, I dunno.

HOY !!!!

chaingang