The 1964 Ducati Apollo

ducati-apollo

You might consider
yourself an expert vintage motorcycle aficionado,
and still,
you may not
recognize this sled….

………….. if not,
I quite understand.

You see, this Ducati, developed
to directly compete with Harley Davidson,
especially in the United States market,
never made it into mass production.

And you’ll probably just
love the reason why.

This bike– the
full name of Image result for 1964 ducati apollo berliner
which was the
“1964 Ducati Berliner
1260 Apollo
“-
– packed a 76 cubic inch (1250cc)
90 degree V-4 punch—

and it would actually accelerate
faster than it’s tires would tolerate…..

Yep…
to over 120 mph

…… at a time when motorcycle
tires weren’t sturdy enough to
take speeds over 90.

It would literally go
until the wheels fell off.

Two prototypes were manufactured –
– one still survives.

So, if you wanna ride one,
well, you might think
that you’re outta luck.

But I’m told the 2011 Honda
VFR1200 used much of the same
technology, including a powerful
V-4 configuration.

And you can probably find one
of those bikes for about 7 G’s
on Craigslist, sitting under 2
inches of dust in some
yuppie’s garage.

Or, you can go to the Ducati
museum in Kyushu, Japan
where the surviving Apollo is
and beg.

A lot .

apollo_back

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The Friday Grab Bag

Hey,
mail bag,
grab bag.

Call it what you
want,
— it’s Friday.

So, for today’s deal,
I grabbed a bunch of
Albert Peter Carmichael
posties from around 1910.

He was a pretty famous
syndicated cartoonist in
the first part of the 20th century,
and very popular with postcard
publishers.

If you ain’t a newbie
round here, you’ve
probably already
seen a lot of his work here
on the Muscleheaded Blog.

Our batch today-
(the series is called “IF”)
have a funny vibe
that seem both
completely out of date
and current at the
same time.

I dunno…..

I can definitely see
myself sending a
couple of these —

Cause love can be a
minefield ya know.

Ahh.

But what would life
be without it?

You might get the impression
from some of these cards that
the girls back then could be
rather difficult at times.

Ahem.

Well,
Carmichael’s characters
never lack for pathos,
and that’s for sure.

And when all else fails,
there’s always beer.

!!! HOY !!!!

Back Seat Front Seat

In an era where they
can’t seem to stop
talking about driver-less automated cars,
it seems somehow appropriate that we
post on a concept
that has kinda become
a figure of fun, intentionally
or not, by today’s drivers –
– drivers licenses.

I’m sorry
(no, I’m not)-
and I hate to gripe
(no, I don’t) –
but it seems to me that
the quality of education
programs for new drivers,
and the skill level of
even experienced drivers
these days, is pretty
damned rotten,
generally speaking.

Bring back those horrifying
driver’s education films of
the 1950’s and 1960’s like
” Signal 30 “,
” Blood On The Highway”
” Signs of Life ”
” Drive and Survive ”
” Mechanized Death ”
and “Hell’s Highway” , man.

(I’d link some of them, but
I still get nightmares from
” Blood On The Highway ” )

I don’t know if it’s all
the padding, air bags,
belts, alerts, alarms,
computer controlled
parking devices and
other such millarkey
that new cars are
built with,
but yow, man –
is it dangerous out there.

Drivers today just don’t have
that healthy look of terror
that baby boomers learned
to have before they started
a 4000 pound car to go
hurtling 70 miles per hour
down the average pot-holed
and badly maintained highway.

And I’m thinking it might
be part of some evil conspiracy
to convince the remaining
good drivers out there
( you know who you iz )
that we could actually
BENEFIT from the whole
automatic car thing –

– which of course,
is absolute horseshit.

It will drive insurance rates up,
road taxes up,
vehicle registrations up,
and make it almost impossible
for average Joe to afford
to operate his own car,
especially vintage ones.

It won’t just keep BAD
drivers off the road –
it’ll keep us ALL off em.

Unless you got a gold plated
comb-over that is.

I know it, you know it —
but they’re still gonna
try and do it.

Try, my ass –
they will do it.

And it don’t sound like
there’s a damned thing
we can do about it.

Nuts.

Anyhoo…
I came up with a couple of
pieces of trivia about driving ,
that I thought might make me
feel better about the future.

Cause, when you think about it,
the past was pretty stupid, too.

Did you know:

The first driver’s license
in the world, in 1888, was
issued to Karl Benz in the
Grand Duchy of Baden.
(now part of Germany).
And yes- that Karl Benz.
And no, it wasn’t a 450 SL.

In 1899, the cities of New York
and Chicago became the first
places in the United States
to require a license.

Anne Rainsford French Bush
became the first licensed
female driver in 1900 –
and she drove for over
50 years without an accident.

The first state to require
an examination before licensing
was Maryland – in 1910.

Most states didn’t follow
suit until the 1930’s.

South Dakota didn’t even
require a license until 1954,
or a test until 1959, and
still maintains the lowest
age requirement in the U.S.
– 14 1/4 years old.

That the first ‘modern’
three light traffic signal
was invented by a Chicago
Police Officer ?

Before that, cars on urban
streets were manually directed
by live officers, sometimes
in tall ‘traffic towers’.

In the United States,
it’s referred to as a “Driver’s License ” ….

– and in Britain a ” Driving Licence “,

and in Canada (like Britain)
the word ” licence ” is
spelled with two c’s.

The world’s first drive-in
restaurant was Kirby’s Pig
Stand in Dallas, Texas –
the year ? 1921.
Mmmm…. bbq and cars –
an unbeatable combination.

Add a pretty girl, and :
the world’s first drive-in
movie theatre was opened
in Camden, New JerseyImage result for spooning in the car vintage
(across the bridge from
Philadelphia) in the
summer of 1933.

If things went …
ummm…
well..,
if they progressed
in a certain way from
there, you know,
there was also the first drive
through wedding chapel,
which was opened in
Las Vegas in 1951’s .

Drive through divorce?

Naaah —
You shoulda taken those
movies about wrecks much
more seriously, man.

!!! HOY !!!

.

PS:
OK — here’s one.
Don’t watch it too close to bedtime.

Under The Clutter

Man, I’ve been
keeping stuff
too long in my
mail-bag directory —

— it’s getting so
that I can’t
even find specific stuff
I remember putting away
for a rainy day or just
the right post.

I was looking for
some stuff with a
touch of sexy, fun,
mixed with a double
entendre or two –

– happily, I came across a
whole folder full of them
just before I gave up
searching.

Making them
all stick together
in one post might be the
hardest part –
but, citing Dad’s rule
for making his
world-famous ‘pan’ cookies –
– ‘throw in whatever you got‘ –
– I don’t see how we
can lose, really.

Especially when
compared
to his pan cookies.

Yow.

Appropos to nothing —

You know, I haven’t done
a post about monsters
recently. 

I dunno about you, but
I’m a big fan of monsters,
like Godzilla,
and Cookie Monster.

They’re outrageous,
and seem a bit dangerous,
but the only things they
really destroy are cardboard
cities and cardboard cookies.

I bet that bear at the picnic
table is waiting for some of
Dad’s pan cookies.

But, that’s only because
he’s never had em.

!!! HOY !!!

If Lovin You Is Wrong

(Memo from the
legal beagle office
of the
Muscleheaded Blog)

OFFICAL NOTICE
to all the V-D
haters out there:

While it is technically a
Muscleheaded Felony

to dislike Valentines Day,
and the fines are quite severe,
I have personally consulted
with counsel about your situation,
and we will give you
immunity 
in exchange for having to put up
with at least 3 more VD posts
that are still coming
down the pike on
this here blog.

So,baloney
please try to get in
the spirit of the thing,

as society itself hinges upon your cooperation,
and you’re going to be expected
to both read and comment
upon any and all posts on the subject in future.

Hey-
buck up buttercup.

Thank you.

We now return you
to your regularly scheduled program,

—- now in progress.

 

lildevil

My friends ,

I know I’m probably going to be drivin’
you plum crazy
with Valentines Day
stuff, but I just can’t
help myself, man.

— it’s beyond a doubt
a favorite holiday of mine, and I always
enjoy posting
about what it’s all about.

If I only really knew.

LOVE ?

You can call it love, sure.
fools
Or lust, sure.

Or romance, sure.

Or a combination thereof …
hell, that’s even better.

But, if there’s one holiday
that plum confuses us men
more than any other one,

It’s Valentines Day.

You ladies out there
have it easy on this holiday,
— because you know exactly cuffs
how to make your men happy—

But, we men don’t want
poems or poseys —
(but it does start with a ‘P’… )

(ok–
you can put your head back
in the gutter now, if you want… )

Seriously…..

Just give him something that’s
got anything to do with you naked,

…..and you got the ideal present.

Give him a naughty pic
with a dirty message,
and he’ll lust …

( I mean… ) …selfie
LOVE ya forever.

But for us guys…

that’s another story –

’cause women are complicated creatures….

with complicated wants, needs and desires…

Oh sure, it’s easy enough
to go out and order a
couple of the $59.99 specials
on long stem roses,

……. and the genericok
“Hey- you’re ok with me” Valentines Day cards.

It’s when you’re tempted
to get a little creative
that the trouble starts.

‘Cause there are all kinds of rules
about Valentines Day that no one
has bothered to explain to us…..

and I’m not sure even
WOMEN really understand…….

I’ll give you an example.

vaI have this friend who decided to do something nice for his special lady last Valentines Day…..

now, she was a BIG fan of lovemaking – a BIG FAN – and she was wearing this ole boy out….

(……. and he obviously never read my blog on supplementation for keeping the yang up…)

…… he figured why buy her flowers-
when he could sorta make an ‘investment’ –

he would get her something special,
that might take the ‘heat’ off a little…….

…….. so he went out and spent
about 300 bucks and bought her
this high-tech “love lounger” – – sybian

it’s this thing that has all kinds of attachments and vibrating parts and protruding items of all shapes and sizes…..

ummm hmmm…

well, it’s year later ….

he’s only gotten to see her 6 or 7 times since then,

and she has bought a SECOND ONE of these gizmos in the meantime….

bzzzzzzzzzz………..
bzzzzz……….. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………..

SO-

6footRule Number UNO:

—- whatever you get her , no matter what you do –

don’t make yourself redundant.

Just ask yourself –

is she gonna like the present more than she likes YOU ?

If you insist on buying a sexy present,

I recommend getting something SAFE-

something you can both enjoy –twsiter

maybe a sexy board game……….

hey, what red-blooded American girl doesn’t like a nice and lively game of Twister?

Mmmm….

…………. blue circles .

Okay, maybe a food item.

candyOoooo, I know….

…….. some candy hearts with secret, subliminal messages.

Stuff you might not be able say with words,

……… can still be said with the tongue, ya know.

and, if she has a sweet tooth….

well, ALL THE BETTER!

frenchDecisions, decisions.

Lingerie might be a good bet.

It’s certainly true….

… the old male maxim…

That there’s not a woman in the Universe,

who doesn’t look sexier in her undies…..

……………. but again, it has it’s pitfalls.

Like the man said, don’t free-overtime yourself out of a job.

damianaHmm… ok…

How about some exotic Booze?

You know,

… there are several types of alcoholic concoctions that are thought to
have aphrodisiacal qualities ……

….. like Bois Bande from the Virgin Islands………

(well, they were Virgins once…..)

or Damiana Liqueur from Mexico,

or my favorite …… ABSINTHE. absinthe

This is the stuff all those French artists went ga-ga over at the end of the 19th Century…..

and it’s got quite a reputation……

A good bottle of Absinthe can make all your V-D dreams come true.

Valentines Day, that is.

hey –

they didn’t call that guy Too-Loose Lautrec for nothing…….

(yeah, I know……………..
NEXT ! )

asmWell.
maybe candy IS safer—

Assuming, of course,
that it sends exactly the message that you wish to send—

Mistakes can be more than inconvenient, at times.

Remember,
when it comes to this kinda thing…

It’s very much like Christine McVie sang:
” If we can’t be lovers, then we can’t be friends —
and I got some pretty wicked ways to get my revenge. ”

Words to live by, my friend.

Now, you’re probably just gonna get her a card.

But, you have to be careful about what you say in a Valentines card –
tts
Things can get misconstrued quite quickly,

especially if you don’t know the lady that well,

and you’re trying to rectify that…….

The wrong choice of words,
or an incomplete explanation
can cause all kinds of linguistic and rhetorical difficulties.

See, that brings up another problem….

Valentines Day presents all kinds of temptations
to move a little too fast,
before you know a lot about a person….

Your Valentines Day card could be writing checks
that the rest of you ain’t ready, willing or able to cash……….

renoUnless ,
of course,
you’re just one of those one-stop-shop kinda guys.

And then…..

Well, I know a place
where you can get yourself hitched, inked and blotto
all in one convenient location.

Ahhhh, Reno.

hoosegowAnd you thought
it was only a dump with ten dollar hookers.

Seriously,
you really should think this one completely through.

I mean,
I hate to disappoint you,
but the course of treatment
you’re gonna need after your trip to Reno
is gonna cost you much more than 10 bucks….

Even if you just go for the bad ink,
quickie wedding,
and three day drunk route.

Ya know,
that $59.99 special on roses
is looking like a pretty good deal after all …..

HOY !!!

PS…

Thanks to Jen at Blog It or Lose It
for the 2nd and 3rd images,
and George Petty for this last one.

a1

The Ford Crestline

This week we answer
a Reader Question:

What was the
Ford Crestline?

In 1952 – 1954,
the 115 inch wheelbase “Crestline”
was the designation
for the top
of the Ford
automotive lineup-

— and yet —

it’s a nomenclature
that is rarely heard of
or thought of today,
except in car magazines,
shows, etc.

But at the time,
it was extremely popular
with a stylish trim set,
despite the car being
similar to previous
Ford models in
many ways.

Standard equipment
included a three speed
on-the-column manual
shift, power steering,
power assist brakes,
oil bath air cleaner,
and chrome panels,
trim rings and caps.

It was assembled for most
dealerships east of the
Mississippi at the Chester,
PA. plant with parts shipped
directly from Detroit.

To some extent, the modern
car buyer might feel a bit
confounded about how
automobile models were
categorized in the 50’s:

but simply put, there were
three Ford automobile
designations in 1952- 
all with 115 inch
wheelbase frames:

a base model called “Mainline”,
a mid-range model “Custom ”
and, of course,
the top – “Crestline”.

On top of that, then,
would be a body style:

In order
to get the ‘Victoria’
(luxury version),
the ‘Sunliner’
(a convertible),
or ‘Starliner’ – you
had to start by ordering
or buying a Crestline.

In it’s first year (1952),
the car was offered in 2
door hardtops and
convertibles- the only
four door Crestline available
was an 8 passenger Country
Squire station wagon.

It took two years,
but in 1954,
a four door sedan,
as well as a 2 door
‘Skyliner’
( a coupe with a
tinted transparent
acrylic strip built
into the roof )
became available.

Crestline always came
with a 239 C.I.,
110 HP, V-8 engine,
until it’s last year,
when a 223 straight six
was offered.

In 1955, the Crestline
was discontinued completely, and a new
model, the Fairlane,
took it’s spot at the top of
the Ford lineup.

Thanks for your question !

What The Butler Saw

You’ve probably noticed
the occasional “Mutoscope”
cards that have been posted
here from time to time
on the Muscleheaded Blog….

And you might have
wondered just what
the heck a “Mutoscope”
was, anyhow.

Mutoscope was actually
a trade name name of
a large company in Chicago-butler
the American Mutoscope
Company-

….who originally made an
early motion picture device,
similar to the Edison Company’s Kinetoscope, using flip cards on
a ‘Rolodex’ sorta wheel, to
simulate motion.

The wheel would hold
about 800 cards, but
would only display
for a few seconds,

…..so to see the whole
‘movie’, you’d have to
continue to put in coins.

I’m pretty sure that
you’ve seen the kind of
thing in museums
and some older arcades —

You put a coin in the device,
you turn the handle, a light
turns on inside, and you look
down into a viewfinder.

The most popular title back
in Great-Granddaddy’s day
was called:
What the Butler Saw ” —

—  a series of scenes
featuring a Victorian
Age lady undressing in1
her bedroom as if
seen through a
keyhole —

( at right, you can see
one of the more ‘explicit’ scenes from this vintage set )

which, when viewed by
contemporary standards
would be considered
very mild, even trite,
as far as pornography goes,

……………. but at the time
was extremely racy, indeed.

In fact, the short Mutoscope’s
suggestive title became a
catch-phrase to describe
the whole genre.

I love these things–
I’m absolutely fascinated
by them.

Not that I didn’t know
that those stuffy Victorians
got naked, exactly,
but that
they actually got turned on
by the thought of a pretty
lady doing it.

Anyhoo…..

These things got so
popular, they were soon
found almost everywhere —

….. and were being made by a number of different companies
in a number of different formats.

Not all of them showed m3
risqué material, either —
far from it .

Most were completely mundane —
like cartoons, news films,
travelogues, etc……

But there were a number
of devices that, while not
containing actual salacious
material,

( and sometimes not
even a ‘moving’
image, but a
picture card
or a diorama )

….. would have a ‘come-on’ sign
advertising something very
confidential and prurient–
(using the old PT Barnum rule)

IF one would only put
in a coin to see for themselves.

Like this one-
The sign advertises
” Very Naughty ”
” Strip Poker ” –
put your coin in,
and ‘ voila ‘ –

111

The joke would then
be revealed —
——— usually an innocent view,
some kind of pun or
a play on words.

Disappointment
for a penny….

Not a bad price to enjoy
a laugh on oneself, I guess.

I remember one from
my childhood that was
in the corner of this
old candy store —

escoIt said:
” CLOSE UP-
LIVE NUDIST COLONY ”
on the machine,

….. and when you
slipped in a nickel,

( hey, even I’m not old enough
for the penny version )

…………….. you got a magnified
view of a living ant farm.

By the 1920’s, the whole genre of
coin operated gizmos were being
called “Peep Show” machines —midgetmovie
and they were usually found
in penny arcades.

The flip card format
was especially
good for displaying
still images slowly –

So, more and more machines
were set up to show 12
images for a coin —
– timed at 3 second intervals.

This was used for all kinds
of materials, views of a city
for instance, or humorous cartoons….

…..  and came to be called
“Exhibit Cards”.

But the most profitable
ones displayed Pin-Ups.

Sure, there were cards for sports,
comics, fortune telling, movie stars, flowers, and patriotic themes, (just about anything!),
but the ‘girlie’ ones , especially
those featuring Pin Up Art,
were top draws.

The cards for these machines
were done by artists who are
now considered to be past
masters of the Pin Up genre —

…….. including Gil Elvgren, Zoe Mozert,
Rolf Armstrong, Earl Moran, etc.

a2The pin-up exhibit cards were soon also finding a marketplace outside arcades, at news-stands, in magazines …..

And especially, in vending machines, selling them individually, or in series.

Their popularity hugely increased once World War II broke out….

Every serviceman had at least one set of these, it seemed.

Two major companies were marketing the majority of the cards, Mutoscope, and Exhibit Supply Company,

….. although today, most people
just generically call them
“Mutoscope Exhibit Cards”.exhibit

The cards had a very distinctive look then, and now,

……and most are easily identified,

because of their ethereal colors and simple, airy design  —

— printed, as they were, to display just as well under the lights and magnification of a Mutascope machine,

………… as to hold in your hand and view them up close.

Usually, they had some kind of legend, pun, or title that was vaguely relevant to whatever position or activity the pin-up girl was engaged in —

………..  well known titles of individual Pin-Up Exhibit Cards included:

Disturbing Elements ” ( Gil Elvgren ) disturbingelements

Hit the Deck
( Zoe Mozert )

I’ll Say So
(Rolf Armstrong)

Visibility Perfect
( Earl Moran )

Jutht My Thize
( Howard Connolly )

Anchors Aweigh
( K.O. Munson )

Up to Par ” ( Edward D’Ancona )

Red, White and You
( Billy DeVorss )

Would You?
( Earl Christy )

Air Minded
(Mable Rollins Harris )

Total Eclipse
( Haskell Coffin )

Shoulder Arms
(G.C. Orde )

Sailor’s Sweetheart
(Hy Hintermeister)

Keep ‘Em Flying
(Vaughan Alden Bass )

All told, there were at least
10 sets of these Pin Up
Exhibit Cards printed in
the early 1940’s —

……… or, about 500
cards in all, although some
were repeated
over several sets.

Unfortunately, many of these
wonderful vintage cards
have no signature,

………….. and we can only guess
who created the artworks contained on them.

The cards fell out of favor
after the War, as many servicemen returned and
settled down to domestic life —

Sexy returned to
being something
out of the social mainstream…
taboo and undesirable
for the ‘new prosperity’.

And even the greatest
pin-up artists
of the time were pressured to
‘tone down’ their more risqué
work for peacetime printing
applications — calendars, advertising, etc.

During the Eisenhower years,
pin-up girls were often pictured
wearing knee length garments,
with prim and proper posing,
and the cards with girls in
wispy lingerie again became
hard to get novelties.

Boy,
it seems society’s
blue-noses always find
a way to piss on one’s
parade, it seems.

Not that a little ‘coyness’
once in a while can’t be
sexy, too, I guess.

Either way —
we still have these
vintage cards to
enjoy, right ?

!!! HOY !!!!

.

allamericangirls1941mutos