The Cadillac Cyclone

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Cadillac Cyclone …
…. sounds a bit like
it might be a figment
of an old car guy’s
imagination, doesn’t it?

And I’m car crazy…
I will readily admit it.

To me,
cars don’t just represent
a way of getting somewhere..
…….. they mean a good deal more.

Sure, some of
those things
can be traced back
to my still-very-much-in-play
adolescent desires for
freedom, status, and power.

Oh,
and sex.

Let’s not forget sex.

I know..
‘Oh, grow up already’ !! —
c5
…….. to which I reply
(on a regular basis)
Go Filet A Fish” !

( Hahahaha…..
you thought I was gonna
use a fucking profanity, didn’t ya? Didn’t you read yesterdays’ post ? )

Ahem.

But that’s not all of it….
because when I see
a car that has been:
artfully created,
thoughtfully designed,
and beautifully executed,c2
it makes me think that there
just might be hope
for the human race yet.

I rarely miss an
automotive fair —
I have worn out the
carpets of the local car museums.

And as much
as I love classic cars,
I don’t even own one…
not one you’d
call classic, anyway,

and mostly,
I get around on my motorcycles.

Part of the problem
is that I have
never found one that I liked,
that I could afford to buy.

That used to bother me.

Until I realized that
I could sublimate
the urge to own one,
by blogging about them.

So… guess what.

We’re gonna look at a couple
very hot ‘concept’ cars
over the next few months.

You don’t have to be a car fanatic
to enjoy looking at concept cars, either…..

Concept cars are interesting,
because they’re cars that
designers put together
when they want to ‘think outside the box’.

Usually only a few of each
are produced by the manufacturer,
and are taken around to auto shows
as a way of showing the kinds of ideas
the company will be incorporating
in their upcoming models.

Consumer reaction is
carefully observed at these shows..
… and often, there is a survey
taken of what people like/dislike most about it.

The car featured today3949017_f520, for instance,
was a
1959 Cadillac Cyclone .

…. Otherwise known as the “XP-74”.

It was created by famous
General Motors designer
Harley Earl ,

(actually, the last concept car
that he designed from the ground up)

… and was first debuted
at the 1959 Daytona Beach
500
Automotive Showcase.

The Cyclone had some interesting features,
including:

electric sliding doors
with small access panels for paying tolls,

… and an intercom to talk to someone
on the outside of the vehicle
without having to open them.

( remember– no windows ! )

radar sensors built into the
front nose cones for crash avoidance–

with automatic braking,cyclone

forward mounted exhaust
( just above the front wheels ),

an “auto-pilot” system
that steered the car when activated,

a removable, silver coated,
UV reflective, plexi-glass bubble top

which raised when the doors were opened,
…. and that automatically sensed rain,
and raised itself in bad weather,

a hood canopy that pivoted up
and away from the engine compartment
for easy access,

an innovative aircraft style ergonomic dashboard
and control cluster
,

Plus automatic transmission,

power steering and brakes,c3

cruise control, with a 325 horsepower V-8 engine.

It was low to the ground–
–only 44 inches high,
…. but the electrically operated sliding doors
made entry and exit easy.

It was long — 197 inches —
but, while you might think parking would be a nightmare,
the onboard radar would be a good deal of help in that regard.

I love that curved windshield–
… it makes for excellent field of vision with no A-Pillar blind spots.

One of the things Earl was going for was a feeling of 360 degree visibility….
so the whole glass bubble and curved windshield makes perfect sense.

Plus, it was cooooool, man.

You can certainly see the influence jet-age
aerodynamic design concepts
had on automotive planners here.

Sure, I like the rocket vibe,
… but there are really cutting edge c1
aspects to shape and fit at work here.

If you look hard at the car,
you start to notice design features
that carried directly into later production cars ,

….. not just by G.M. ,
but by Ford and Chrysler, too.

And I can’t help but wonder
what kind of looks this car
would get on a Saturday nite cruise.

I don’t know if it’s a “chick magnet” —

……………… but it certainly attracts me !

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Geee Whizz

hwNote:
Please don’t wet yourself,
but there’s probably a coupla objectionable words in today’s extravaganza , so if you’re the sensitive kind, better consult your guru first before reading. 

It’s one of those sayings that we’ve probably heard all our life…

And really,
never knew
where it originally came from.

Or even,
what it really means.

It’s the uniquely
American expression
” Gee Whiz ” —

and it’s actually been
around a lot longer
than you might think.

The first applicationmar57
of it I could find
dates way on
back to the 1880’s,
in the Warren (PA) Ledger:

” When younger days
have flown

And we are older grown,
We sit and muse – –
We’ve got the blues.

Morning and night
we fret,

And, cold or dry or wet.
In petulance pout – –1957
We’ve got the gout.

We have accomplished
naught,

Our fight was poorly
fought – –

Gee whiz ,
The rheumatiz. “

As you can see,
it’s a little ditty about aging.

Jeeez-
who’d a thunk that, huh?

It’s so fun to be getting older–
who could possibly
wanna complain about THAT?

Which reminds me….

Both ‘Gee Whiz’ and ‘Jeez’
( which dates back further )
are what linguists would
call ‘minced oaths’
and euphemistic abbreviations
of the name of Jesus Christ.

(‘Gee Whiz’ –
‘Jesus’s Wisdom’)

Minced Oats —g1

no, wait,

you might be saying…
I had that for breakfast…..

Nope —
this got nothing
at all to do with
Quakers in funny hats
selling mushy cereal, man.

Minced Oaths –
are little turns
of language
you might use as tricky
little substitutionsg3
for saying stuff
that would be
otherwise considered
profane,
blasphemous,
offensive,
or just plain
obnoxious otherwise.

For instance,
your stupid
brother in law
might have
un-jacked a
four-ton truck down
on your toe,g2
and you want
to express
your mild displeasure
about it —

And instead of saying:
” WHAT THE F@CK
YOU G@DD@MN S@NOFAB@TCH
D@MN C@CKS
@CKING B@STARD ?? ”

You might say:
” Pardon me,
you gosh-darn
summina-batch
darn cork-screwinggallon
bust-a-nut,
you seem to have
dropped something.”

To which he may reply:  
” Fup off, ya grasshole,

Or,

“This lift jack is
such a clustermug,
you mothersmucker “

See?

Much better, huh?

Ok–
so maybe it ain’t.

I never really saw the
point of dancing around,
when it comes time
for a real cussing-out party.

When they edited one
of my favorite movies
” Repo Man ” for TV,
they actually used the
most badly constructed
minced oath I’ve ever
heard to dub over a line:

“Flip you, melon farmer!”engineer

Ummmmm…..
not quite the same thing
as the original, I would say.

Or in
“The Big Lebowski”s
TV release—

“This is what happens
when you find
a stranger in the Alps”

—— was used in place of :

“This is what happens
when you fuckgws
a stranger in the ass”

Dumbarts Fargin’
Media Bastiches.

See…..

Sometimes,
there’s really no
good substitute
for a well placed
obscenity.

But polite society
doesn’t cotton to it,
not at all.

And thus,
we’ve got these
little pieces of shorthand
to help out.

Interesting.

I don’t know too many
people who use the
expression ” Gadzooks ” —
but that there is actually a
classic piece of blasphemous
minced-oathing from
way, way back.

(the 1600’s)

It’s short for
“God’s Hooks” —
and refers to the nails
in the Christian cross.

Actually,
you might surprised
how many of these
have snuck into the
language over
the century.

For instance,
I got knocked up-side
the head by a Jesuit priest
for using this one
in parochial school —

EGAD“.

Hell,
I have no idea how
I was using THAT
in a sentence —

and knowing me
at that age,
I was just trying to
get a reaction, anyway,

………. but boy,
did I get one.

And a lecture on
how that’s just
another way
of using the
Lord’s name in vain.

There’s also:

Golly By Jove
Gosh
Goldarnit
John J Kripes
etc, etc, etc.

And if you open
the concept
of a cussing jar
(you put a quarter
in everytime you cuss )
all up to the huge
variety of different
minced oaths
you could use,cussjar

well….

You could make
a friggin’ mint.

And yes,
I do have my favorites….

Like:

Fargin’ Icehole ”
and
” Why don’t you ram it up
your pim-hole, you
fusking cloff prunker.”

Hey–
— AM I RICH YET ?????

!!! HOY !!!!

.

PS: Yes, this is a real Vargas work,
one of his last, featuring actress
Bernadette Peters, and used
on her album cover of the same name.

“Gee Whiz” was one of the
songs featured on the LP.

And not a bad album, actually.

Cheers !!!!
.

Spend A Penny

Depending on
where you are,
and who
(whom?)
you talk to —

– to “spend a penny”
certainly has more
than one implication….

If you’re in Britain,
for instance,
it means that
you need
to go to the bathroom –

– the phrase being
derived from the coin slots
you’d find so commonly
on public toilets beginning
in the early 1900’s.

Talk about a
captive audience.

If you were growing
up with me,
in my neighborhood,
we had our own version
of ‘spend a penny’

– it referred to theImage result for cheapskate postcard vintage
miserly types
otherwise known
as ‘cheapskates’ –

— people who would rather
NOT spend any money
at all —

but if necessary,
a penny was
about as much as
you could expect.

For instance, the relative
who would tape a penny
to the inside of your
birthday card,
and tell you to
learn to save them –

– all the while cheapingImage result for cheapskate postcard vintage
out on the stamps, so
my Mom would have
to pay the postage due.

Or furtively hand you
a penny while no one
was looking, and tell you
Don’t let your Dad
take it from you
“.

Like my Dad would
need his penny to pay
the electric bill
or something….
what a dickhead.

Yes, indeed
I had
one of those…..

Thankfully,
I didn’t see him
all that much.

But then,
I imagine
most folks
are related to,
or at least
know somebody
like that.

Penny-pinchers.

Cheap-skates.

Skin-flints.

Cheese-parers.

Tight-wads.

Nickle-nursers.

Money-grubbers.

Close-fisted.

Lock-wallets.

Ok,
well,
you get the idea.

And that’s what our
post features today —
all vintage cards
having something
to do with….
errr….. them.

!!! HOY !!!

.

.

( ” In front of the pawnbroker’s poster . “ )

The Pecking Order

I don’t have anything
against chickens,
I really don’t.

Bad eyesight is
a big pain
in the ass,
whether you’re
a people or
a poultry.

Sure, I know
it doesn’t
matter too much,
when it comes to
down to the Colonel’s bucket…….

But I’d still like to know
that they’ve got 20/20 vision
while they’re scoping out
each other in the barnyard.

Unfortunately, that’s not
what this next vintage
invention is really about.

Yes, they are
‘chicken eye-glasses’.

Apparently,
chickens can be
mean little fuckers —

And one way the
‘pecking order’ in a
group is established
is by them pecking
each other’s eyes out.

Ouch.

A big problem, really.

So, anyhoo —

These little rose colored
eyeglasses were invented
to prevent that.

And the only reason
I know that, is
because I came
across a pair of
them in a Kentucky
antique store, and
laughed at the guy
when he told me
what they were.

But, as funny
as it sounds,
they did work –
and are still in
use around the
world for that purpose.

Damn,
this place is
downright weird, ain’t it?