I have often wondered…..
What would space aliens
look like if they should ever
really visit the Earth ?
Would they be Humanoids?
Little Green Globs of Goo ?
I’m kinda hoping
for the last choice…
There’s less chance of them
stealing our human women.
Not that there aren’t plenty
of women going with
slime balls now, I guess…
I know several experts say
that whatever they would look like,
…..they probably wouldn’t
look anything like humans.
Although the entire universe
is made up of the same stuff,
the individual planetary
environments would vary
so much as to make
We are, they say,
to our own environment.
Change the environment,
and you change
the evolutionary result.
everything about them
would be different.
Right down to their
basic necessities ,
like how and what they eat…..
So, no chance of just bumpin
into one them alien types
at the local WalMart.
That’s a relief, anyway.
‘Cause I was pretty sure
I already had, otherwise.
Seth Shostak, senior astronomer
at the Search for Extraterrestrial
Intelligence (SETI) Institute,
in an interview with ‘Discovery Space’
thinks they may
end up being “thinking machines“.
He also thinks it might not be
all that great for humans if an
alien race did show up for a visit.
” …..Usually when an advanced society
visits a less-advanced society,
it’s bad news for the less-advanced. “
Stephen Hawking agreed…
” We only have to look
at ourselves to see
how intelligent life might
develop into something
we wouldn’t want to meet.
I imagine they might
exist in massive ships,
having used up all the resources
from their home planet.
Such advanced aliens would
perhaps become nomads,
looking to conquer and colonize
whatever planets they can reach.
If aliens ever visit us, I think the
outcome would be much
as when Christopher Columbus
first landed in America,
which didn’t turn out very well
for the Native Americans.”
There they go…
robots stealing our women, again .
Ralph Pudritz of McMaster University
He says that there’s a good possibility
that Joe Alien will look a lot like John Q Public.
The reasoning behind this is that there
is a ” universal structure of the first codes ”
stored within the 20 or so amino acids,
and these may be found across space–
—in other words, DNA .
Simply put, that means that space aliens
could look just like you or me —
—or that idiot that keeps bashing your heel
with his shopping cart at the Wal-Mart.
Of course, they probably would be a bit brighter.
The theory goes that any race that could
travel between galaxies would be highly
developed technically, and be very intelligent.
Well, if they’re so intelligent,
why would they want to come here?
I always figured this place would end up
being the North Philly of the Milky Way,
…. but now I’m not so sure….
Jill Tarter at SETI thinks they may just
come here to explore, and that
” they wouldn’t want
to eat us or enslave us “.
And we do have some interesting
stuff here to see, I guess.
The Grand Canyon is cool,
and Whitewater Rafting
on the American River is something
they don’t have on Gamma Trialyis Three.
At least, as far as I know of, anyway.
Those alien sightseers would probably
be more active than the average American, anyway.
After all, they can already watch our TV anytime—
….. comfy and cozy out in outer space ,
without the hassle of having to get
dressed up in their spacesuits,
finding a place to park, and maybe
dealing with hostile natives
armed with pitchforks or machine guns.
And after watching the
Andrew Zimmern guy on TV’s “Bizarre Foods”,
………….. I bet they’d worry
more about US eating THEM .
Still, it makes ya wonder.
Recently some ex-military officers
held a news conference about
how UFO’s were buzzing
around secure missile
installations and such.
They said that nukes were somehow
put on standby and disabled by these crafts…
— and the military hushed it all up.
But, there are so many distortions
and publicity stunts in the media now,
who’s gonna know what to believe?
How many times a year does some farmer
catch a kid with a couple of strings
and some logs making crop circles
to hoax his neighbors?
Hoaxes are endemic in this culture..
–and some of it, I’m guess,
is propagated by government.
This is the whole doctrine of
keeping a populace so confused,
they don’t know whether to scratch or run.
And I wish my French was good enough
to explain what I really think of the media in this country.
There’s no language like French for serious cussin’ .
It is an interesting concept, still….
These little green men zipping by
in their Ferrari Spaceships suddenly
decide to mess with NORAD control stations …..
If it was true,
… not only would there be a worldwide
“we’re not alone in the Universe”
eureka moment –
Would it also mean these alien guys were
either very friendly, or hopeless kibbitzers ??
And what else would that mean
that they have had a hand in….
Maybe it was a little green man
that convinced Hitler to hold back at Dunkirk –
or to open a second front in Russia.
Maybe it was a little green man
that gave Einstein that formula E-MC2 —
— or that goofy haircut.
Maybe little green men incognito
are actually running our radio and TV stations….
…………. that certainly would explain a lot.
As for me, I don’t preclude the whole idea
of UFO’s messing with our weapons systems.
Any self respectin’ alien with the
capability would do the same…
Lets say that bozo who lives a coupla doors
down builds himself a weapon that
could blow up the whole neighborhood …
….. and you had the ability to mess it up
sufficiently so it wouldn’t –
Would you use it?
Sure you would.
It’s called self preservation.
They can’t just sit around
and watch while we blast ourselves
into negative ex-tance …..
…. polluting the whole galaxy with
radioactive fallout and minute particles
of the remains of old Fords and used styrofoam.
And even if —
by blowing ourselves up-
we didn’t blow THEM up too-
where are them alien guys gonna
get all the hillbillies they need for
their valuable rectal probe
experiments with us gone?
The thing is….
… if these aliens are half as intelligent
as they’d need to be to get here in the first place..
I figure they’d have sense enough
to know to stay as far away from us as possible.
As I said, I always kinda figured
we’re sorta like the North Philly of the Milky Way.
You only go there if you’re armed to the teeth
and need something you can’t get anywhere else.
And what have we got that they ain’t got?
John Coltrane records…
Mom’s Key Lime Pie …..
….. or Redheads, maybe?