Happy Easter Saturday

For some reason,
this post seemed
extremely appropriate
for Easter (tomorrow)….

of course, this is
the Muscleheaded Blog,
and so maybe that
explains it.

before I get
I have to say
right up front,
that I have
absolutely nothing
against bunny rabbits,
despite their rodential
heritage, or their
propensity to start
eating my garden
before I’m even
finished planting it.

So don’t get
all angora
with me or say
this is some
kinda lop-sided
fur crying out loud.

It’s veggie
hard not to
get punny
after all.

Hey- those
waskelly wabbits
are no dummies –
– I’ll say that –
I once watched
a cottontail
mercilessly tease an
otherwise clever
German Shepherd
to absolute madness
using nothing more
than a storm door
and a coquettish
shake of the tail.

But, no matter
how cute,
how smart,
and how
carnal their natures –

– they don’t qualify
as human, and have
very little to do with
our own species on
the whole evolutionary

We know that,
today, of course —
but back in the 1700’s-

Well, perhaps they
weren’t quite
as cock-sure…..

because we have the
true story of
one Mary Toft,
a poor English hops-farmer
( I know that’s gonna sound
just like another bullshit pun,
but it’s true, man )
who had ideas above
(or maybe ‘below’,
I dunno )
her station.

It seems this lady had
convinced the local gentry
that she could, ‘on demand’
as it were, give birth to rabbits.

Here’s the account from the
regional newspaper
‘ Mist’s Weekly Journal ‘
in November, 1726:
” From Guildford comes a
strange but well-attested
Piece of News. That a poor
Woman who lives at
Godalming near that
Town, was about
a Month past delivered
by Mr John Howard,
an Eminent Surgeon
and Man-Midwife,
of a creature resembling
a Rabbit but whose Heart
and Lungs grew without
[outside] its Belly, about
14 Days since she was
delivered by the same Person,
of a perfect Rabbit: and in
a few Days after of 4 more;
and on Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, the 4th, 5th, and
6th instant, of one
in each day: 
in all nine,
they died all in
bringing into the World.
The woman hath made Oath,
that two Months ago, being
working in a Field with
other Women, they put
up a Rabbit, who running
from them, they pursued it,
but to no Purpose:
This created in her such
a Longing to it, that she
(being with Child) was
taken ill and miscarried,
and from that Time she
hath not been able to
avoid thinking of Rabbits.
People after all, differ much
in their Opinion about this
Matter, some looking upon
them as great Curiosities,
fit to be presented to the
Royal Society, etc. others
are angry at the Account,
and say, that if it be a Fact,
a Veil should be drawn
over it, as an Imperfection
in human Nature. ”


Oh, sure.

One very
famous doctor
who studied the case,
John Maubray, used the
strange births as a proof
to the theory of
“Maternal Impression” –

— the idea that women
during pregnancy could
be affected by her dreams
and fears –

His explanation was that
Mary had been scared by
a rabbit around the time
of conception, and she had
thus produced a
Sooterkin ” .

And many other
notables of the day
also claimed to
have witnessed
Mrs. Toft give birth
to similar offspring.

Whatever the
witnesses saw,
it was convincing
enough to scare the
hare off many locals
and the medical
profession in general —

(Maybe it explains those
white powdered wigs they
liked to wear, I dunno….)

So, the case came
to draw the interest
of the King George I’s
Royal Surgeon
Nathaniel St. Andre, who
then sent a trusted area
Doctor named
Cyriacus Ahlers to
fully investigate
the matter.

As he arrived on scene,
Mary was already in the
process of ‘giving birth’
again —

– and right on time to see
the midwife pull a baby rabbit
out of …. well, let’s just say,
the area in question.

Baffled and somewhat
taken aback, the good
Doctor had the girl taken
into custody back with him
to London where she could
be observed at length.

Now in strict controlled
custody, the lady suddenly
went bunny-birth-barren.

After two weeks, and an
aborted attempt of a porter
to smuggle in a rabbit,
Mrs. Toft finally
copped to the fraud.

She was desperate
to improve her
financial condition,
she said, and thought
that becoming
famous as the
‘lady who could
birth rabbits’ would
certainly do it.

As you might imagine,
this case ruined the
reputations of many
of the Doctors who had
examined Mary and
thought the births to
have been legitimate –
— even the Royal Surgeon
became a laughing stock
when the truth
was finally pushed out .

The birther herself went
back to her farm in Surrey,
and in February of the
following year (1728),
gave birth to a
baby daughter
( who, for the record,
looked nothing
like a rabbit ) .

And the whole Toft affair
is still remembered in that
part of England–

— there’s even a
well known
verse attached to it —

” Most true it is, 
I dare to say,
E’er since the
Days of Eve,
The weakest Woman
sometimes may
The wisest Man deceive. ” 

Or, as your
Ole Uncle Nuts
is prone to say:

” When it comes
to women,

we men are just fools
for their stockings “ .

!!!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!

PS: Happy Easter.



Friday’s Mailbag – Give Until It Hurts

spaceIt’s usually feast
or famine
for picture
in the mailbag —

I’ve got
nothing in there,

— or I’ve got so
much good stuff
I don’t know
where to start.

Right now,

I’ve got a mess
of fascinating pics
and postcards,

from SC.,
from VA ,

( this post was also
partly her idea ),

( totally responsible
for most of the
dirty references-
just kidding )

and Ropey
( yeah, bananas
and biscuits, my ass ) – –

I want to thank everybodypetmonkey
who has submitted stuff,

and especially those
four folks —

— and to encourage
to send MORE:


Cause everybody knows
that more IZ better.iam

(Ok ,
maybe not absolutely-
-everytime-always. )

And your item
doesn’t have to
be a postcard,
or have a double
be sexy,
or some weird
bizarre feature, either.aktablets

a great submission
can simply be UNIQUE…


It can scream :

hey —

just what the fuck
is going on here ??????


Today’s batch gives
me a very cool
opportunity to
use some really
neat-o submissions,

that probably wouldn’t find
a place on here otherwise,

— this being a pretty
smart-alecky kinda
blog usually —

and pursue my
dream of making
this thing of ours
a bit more interactive
at the same time.

With all the old
postcards and stuff
I’ve been getting lately,valetinesfuneral

I had gotten
to wonderin’ —

Just how much/far back
can one see into the past
by looking at them ?

There are all kinds of
interesting aspects to these pics,
— for me, anyway…..

I’ll give you an
example of what I mean.

( and of course,
— I’d pick a suggestive one )

Here’s an antiquebanana
French postcard–

—  featuring the
various ways
a beautiful woman
could choose
to savor a banana.


if that one
doesn’t take you
out of your sense
of time and place

Here’s another one:

about how she shouldbiscuit
eat lady finger cookies.

Just to cover the whole gamut
of lewd food, ya know.

Now, there’s
all kinds of spins
you could put on
that, right?

….. like,

exactly WHO would you
SEND that card to, and why.party

—whether it wouldn’t
make a good substitute
for a Valentines Day card—

Or, maybe it’d make
a pretty kinky invitation
to even a kinkier party,

Who knows.

Perhaps I just got
a dirty mind.

And truthfully,
I’m much more interested
in what details/inferenceslivewire
that the readers of the
Muscleheaded Blog would pick out.

So, I would very
much like
to hear from you
in comments —

Pick out one or
two of your favorites
— tell me:

What do YOU see ?bananas

What kind of caption would you add?

What questions does it inspire?

What kind of things
can you assume
from the picture?

What’s most
appealing about it?

That kinda thing.drunk

I was gonna number the pictures,

— so you’d have some reference point,

but then, I figured:

it’d be more fun to see
how you described
which picture you
were talking about….

——– so, you’re
on your own, pal.