It Just Don’t Add Up

a3I always hated math in school.

It’s just one of those subjects
I can’t get my mind around.

Oh sure,
2 + 2 = 4 is okay , I guess….

But when you start
adding letters like A + B
and getting a number
as an answer-
Mister Man…
— you lost me there.

To me,
A + B = AB .

I know what you’re thinking —math

If that was right,
why wouldn’t 2 + 2
be equal to 22 ?

for all I know about math,
it is, somehow.

How the hell should I know?

But, nobody ever accused me
of being a rocket scientist.

Part of the problem
I always had with
math in schooltutor
was that nobody
could explain to me
how a mathematical
process really worked
in practical language
that even a cretin like I
(ok -like ‘me’)
could understand.

I mean,

I just couldn’t understand:
WHY you don’t get PIE
with a Pie chart….

or why “PI”
is so much more of an ‘irrational’a1
than not getting pie with a pie chart…

or why it’s perfectly fine
to have imaginary numbers
in an algebraic equation,
but wrong to have
an imaginary hottie girlfriend
named “Wendy”.

or what difference ‘New Math’
makes over ‘Old Math’,
when I still can’t get the
right answer, anyway.

or why the batch of rubber
I laid in the school parking lot
with my Dad’s 1972 Torinocanteloupes
didn’t count as a “Ford Circle” —

or why any test on “Probability Theory”
always resulted in a 90 percent conjecture
that I was gonna fail it…..

or why the solution
to every “Boolean Function”
proved ‘Evasive’ —
and ended up
making me feel like a Foolean.

or why my Math Teacher a2
grading on a “Bell Curve”
always landed me
somewhere down near the clapper.

Let’s face it —
you could make
ANYTHING beyond complicated
with Mathematics.

Take a simple idea like:
“How do you put algebra
an elephant in a refrigerator?”

And forget the logical stuff

“Why would you WANT
to put an elephant in a refrigerator?”

Because a math whiz
could still give you
a dozen equations for how to do it.a3

you just:

” Let ϵ>0
ϵ>0. Then for all such ϵ
ϵ, there exists a δ>0
δ>0 such that
∣ ∣ ∣ elephant2 n ∣ ∣ ∣ <ϵfit
|elephant2n|<ϵ for all n>δ
n>δ . Therefore
lim n→∞ elephant2 n =0.

limn→∞elephant2n=0. “


“Since 1/2 n <1/n 2
1/2n<1/n2 for n≥5 n≥5 , 
by comparison, we know
that ∑ n≥1 elephant2 n “


” There exists an affine transformation
F:R 3 →R 3 :p ⃗ ↦Ap ⃗ +
q ⃗ F:R3→R3:p→↦Ap→+q→
that will allow the elephant
to be put into the refrigerator.
Just make sure detA≠0 detA≠0
so you can take the elephant back out,
and detA>0 / detA>0 fall
so you don’t end up with a pulpy mess. “


So THAT’s how you do it.

It’s now as clear as mud.

I’ll stick to buffalo ….
it’s much simpler.

No wonder
I like history better.




Love and Sex in the 1940’s

heresWe might not think
of the 1940’s
as the sexiest decade
in American history —

— and considering
how many difficult
and downright horrible things
were going on at that time ,
(i.e.. World War II),bacallyank

maybe we’d have a point…

But there was definitely a sexy vibe
evident in society during the war —

— a sense of ‘Carpe Diem’ if you will  —

There were millions of
lonely Servicemen,
all thinking that they
could get killed or maimed
at any moment,halperinstarsstripes

and if they didn’t
get some now,
they might never
get it at all,

and of course,blackout
there were millions
of lonely women,
all thinking that there
just had to be some way
to fill the long, lonely
hours with fun and joy.

A recipe for a little casual coitus?
Ya think?

You can see it in the postcard humor,
and cartoons of the time.

You can see it on
civilian magazine covers,
and the pin up calendars
of the period.

You can even see it in
military publications like:

“Yank” ,
“Our Navy”
and “Stars and Stripes”.

It was painted on
the side of airplanes —
transport planes —

Even on tanks, boats,
and artillery pieces.
Today it’s collectively called ‘nose art’ –
it was just ‘a morale booster’.

Even the enemy used it,
to try to convince our
guys to surrender.

Sex was everywhere.

I’m sure the moralizers
of the day had a field day with it.japsurr

The decline of civilized
righteousness and all that….

To me,
as a veteran myself,
it makes perfect sense.

I see nothing wrong
or even unusual in people
making a ‘love connection’
in times of peril —woods
( hell, any time is good )

a little:

happy humping ,
nonchalant nookie,
carefree coition,
insouciant intercourse,
leisurely lovemaking,
whirlwind whoopee,
off-hand ohhing and ahhing,
cursory coquetry,
lackadaisical liasons,
superficial spooning,
devil-may-care devotion,
promiscuous penetration,
free lance frivolity,camo
serendipitous seduction,
fortuitous fornication,
perfunctory perfuckery,
laid back laying,
occasional carnality,

— to cheer one up
wash away the blues —

to rejuvenate
or rehumanize one–

to reclaim one’s common humanity.

(— assuming you were wearing
a government issued raincoat
included in this deal, of course.)