Today’s post is brought to you in glorious blog-o-vision —
By the number 294,187,
…. and the letter § .
Substantial support for this program
was from a grant
by the Dumb-Down-Society Society.
Additional support came from America’s Oil Companies
— who remind you to:
“Take Care of the Environment –
— You’re Only Borrowing It (…. from us )”
Let’s get back to concentrating on what is really important.
Laughing and having fun.
Enjoying your life.
‘Cause without that, well……….
why don’t we all just work 18 hours a day…
and one day they’ll find us
and dead at the switch.
all work and no play makes Jack a very boring
and prematurely shriveled up boy.
And shriveled is NEVER good.
Work your fingers to the bone,
and what do you get ?
Boney fingers, man, boney fingers.
I’d rather fun myself to death.
With that in mind:
FUN 101 —
Let’s have some fun with old advertising.
The most fun you can have by yourself.
Or when with some people.
I love old ads–
— they really are funny (and weird) when you start to think about ’em.
One of the reasons I’m interested in the earlier days of advertising is because
— a lot of the techniques that advertisers use on us today, were used a lot less seamlessly back then….
You can kinda tell when they were exaggerating–
— or just plain lying to ya …
But, since no one seemed to mind it,
the guys on Madison Avenue just kept getting better and better at it.
And what they think of Joe Citizen’s intelligence level seems painfully obvious, too.
you can’t watch a TV program or read a publication
without being thrown every subliminal corporate logo,
advertisement and spin,
that they can sneak in there.
You don’t know which one is the commercial,
and which one is the program.
I don’t think there is any difference, anymore.
All you know fer sure, is:
if their lips are moving,
they must be trying to sell ya something.
Another reason I like to look at old ads,
is that there’s usually some interesting trivia that goes along with it…..
Did you ever hear that old saying:
when some know-nothing is talking,
— and somebody else comments
on how ” they don’t know shit from shinola” ?
Well, back in the 1940’s,
you’d put on THIS shit on your shoes
———— and it WAS “Shinola”.
Embarrassing, isn’t it ??
…. speaking of… err… ummmm….
How’s your digestion been lately?
Cause ya know….
…… IT’S GREAT TO BE REGULAR.
All-vegetable makes the difference.
But I have to say, as I’ve gotten older,
— these very bizarre looking images are getting easier and easier to relate to…..
Damn, it sucks getting older.
Back in the 1950’s, not only was regularity a problem, but so was this —–
Yes, the possibility of an inconvenient A-Bomb attack caused a good deal of consternation among fastidious housewives across the U.S. —
I mean, it makes dusting so much of a chore.
But no worries —
FLOBAR Detergent had the answer,
— and in a handy family size .
I especially like the custom-made rubber soap holder.
You can always trust corporate America to be there for you.
And, technology is such a wonderful thing.
Hey– check this one out.
I want one of these…..
Of course, the whole ‘no batteries’ thing is cool —
But can you imagine walking around and being able to talk to your friends on the GO like that ?
It’s all the convenience of a walkie-talkie,
an AM radio,
and a payphone in one portable package.
One day, maybe.
As futuristic as it might seem, though, there are a few issues.
For one, there’s no antenna —
and you want an antenna,
unless your pal is in your pocket.
( Say hello to my little friend…. )
So you’ll want to ground it with a wire–
…. which is especially great when there’s lightning anywhere around.
But I don’t see this would work very well just walking around, without one.
And I don’t know how you’d walk around leashed to a grounded wire antenna.
It really is self powered, though —
…. it uses a germanium diode, and it draws current from the AM signal it receives.
The problem is,
to use it as anything other than an AM radio (with no antenna),
you’ll have to connect it up to another wire.
Which will make you more like a radar station than Dick Tracy.
The ad also says this thing will make you the leader of your gang.
( It wouldn’t have worked in my gang, unless it generated a laser beam…. )
What the ad doesn’t say is that you’re signing up to sell copies of a crummy magazine, too.
A later ad for the same product kinda makes the ups and downs of the whole racket ‘crystal clear’…… after numerous consumer complaints.
it’s a kinda cool little contraption, that whole germanium diode thing.
If you’re interested in building a radio that works on this principle, here’s a link to a how to.
The Allies actually snuck radio sets like this into German POW camps during World War 2….
Since they didnt need a power source, they were ideal for listening to coded messages on the BBC.
They were built into the underside of cribbage boards, inside ping pong paddles, baseballs etc.
The operation ( “MIS-X” ) wasnt even exposed until the early 1990’s–
…… it had been a well kept classified secret for 40 years.
Who says the government can’t keep a secret?
Now, this here is a very interesting ad for a kids toy.
Note that this is an ad for a three in one air pistol for $3.49 out of a kids comic book.
And I guess it’s a lotta gun for the money.
It shoots BB’s…. mmmm hmmm…..
It shoots Pellets ………
…….. and it shoots STEEL DARTS ????????
Just who the fark thought that THIS was a good idea?
Calling Dick Tracy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!