The House of Bourbon

Image result for whiskey postcard vintageIf you know much
about history,
you might have
some stuff written
down in old notebooks
about the
“House of Bourbon”,
which was once a
ruling dynasty
in both France and Spain
at one time or another.

( Not to mention
Navarre, Parma, Sicily,
etc, etc. )

Well, you won’t need those
crusty, dusty notebooks for
this post, so I’d suggest you
throw em out and make room
for some bottles of good booze.

Cause the kinda Bourbon
I’m talking about might be
powerful, but it ain’t gonna
cause a revolution or anything.

( A rebellion, possibly,
although the original American
‘Whiskey Rebellion’ probably
involved ‘Rye’ ) .

Well, anyhoo….
my old friend Mrs. Fever
suggested the topic and since
I never go anywhere without
my favorite Bourbon, it seemed
a pretty good subject to write
about while I was on the road.

I’ve been known to pop in
on Bourbon Distilleries
while I’m in the neighborhood —
like Wild Turkey in
Lawrenceburg, Kentucky,
Maker’s Mark in Loretto,
and of course, Jack Daniel’s
in Tennessee.

( YES, of course,
Jack Daniel’s is Bourbon —
and was Motorhead Lemmy’s
favorite. )

Visiting a distillery is quite
an interesting way to spend
an afternoon — and the
perfume of the production
process will definitely make
an impression on you………

— even if you don’t drink
(perish the thought).

While the differences between
types of whiskeys are often
a little obscure–
( did you know that most
whiskeys are spelled with
an ‘E’, but Scotch
‘Whisky’ is not…. )
— the flavor should always
tell you, when it’s a quality
Bourbon.

But, obviously, there is a
lot of cool trivia about it,
and the other
whiskey/whisky types.

Here’s one I’ll bet you
I get you on –

Question:
Is ‘Southern Comfort’
a brand of bourbon ?

Answer: No.
It’s technically a bourbon
flavored liqueur.

.

Question:
Can you name all the
types of whiskey?

Answer: There are a
surprising variety
of whiskeys made in the United States alone –
but about 80% fall into
one of these categories:

Bourbon (51% corn mash,
and aged in new charred
oak barrels)

Rye (51% Rye mash)

Corn Whiskey (80% corn mash)

Malt Whiskey (51% malted barley mash)
(‘Scotch’ would be in this category,
but must be made in Scotland
to qualify for the designation)

Wheat Whiskey
(51% wheat mash )

.

Question: Does “Sour Mash”
refer to the flavor of a whiskey?

Answer: Although some might
argue that it does add flavor
notes, “Sour Mash” refers to
a process that some distillers
use-
— they introduce an older ‘mash’
to a new batch to jump start the
fermentation process — very much
like bakers do when they make
‘sour dough’ bread.

Jack Daniel’s is an example of that.

.

Question:
I read in an old notebookaprhib
that the name Bourbon
for whiskey comes from
an old French line of kings.
Is this true?

Answer:
I told you to throw
those notebooks out, man.
But it is true indirectly,
because the Bourbonsc
were the inspiration
for the name of the county in
Kentucky where several large
distillers had settled, and
for which the whiskey style
is named.

I know.
Clear as mud.

.

Question: I have a bottle
of Bourbon I’ve had since
1970. Does it get better
if I let it sit around?

Answer: Bourbon no longer matures once
it is bottled, (out of
the barrel) so the
answer is that it only gets
better if you drink it.
Now.

Grab me a glass.
I’ll help you.

!!! HOY !!!

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Cocktails Anyone

a1I had a brilliant
comedian friend
back in the 1970’s and 1980’s

( I’m afraid we have
lost touch completely since )

named Woody Woodbury–

— whose favorite punchline
was:
” Booze — is the only Answer. “

Actually, when I
first started blogging,

I had stolen my
wrap-up
line from Woody
— which was:
“Surf’s UP ! “ —

and some of you
might remember
old sign off line:
” Stay Away From
The Snack Bar
” –

— which was a take off
on another one of his.

Hell,
he’s a very funny guy,bar
and he did influence
me greatly,

so I figured
he wouldn’t mind…
… all that much, anyway.

The truth be told,
“Hoy” is basically a
boiled down version
of all those other ones.

Knowing him, I bet
Woody is still performing
in Fort Lauderdale,
probably somewherebad
down on the
Galt Ocean Mile,

…. and if you should go down
US-1 South far enough there to
reach my old stompin grounds,
you need definitely to go
see him perform.

You will laugh your ass off.

And you can tell him that
“The Count” sent you.boila

(It’s a long story. )

He might buy you a drink.
He might go “HUH, WHO?”
Or he might throw you out.
Who knows.

(That’s even a longer story.)

Anyhoo…

While listening to one ofboil
Woody’s hilarious party
records this morning,

I was struck by the notion
that the whole Booze thing
was another good subject
to rip off for my blog.

After all,
booze and humor
go together like
hot sauce and condoms,

(errr–
something like that…)

and bars in general
have a long tradition
of relevant print art —
and the vintage stuff
can really be fun to look at.goodluck

We’re not just talking
about advertisements, now–

Actually, more like things
like bar napkins and such.

What?

You didn’t know
about printed bar napkins?job

Are you even
old enough to drink?

For crying out loud.

Ahem.

They don’t have to
be dirty to dirty
be interesting–

They can have
all kinds of different stuff
printed on them,
including,
of course,
the name and address
of the bar in question —

Often people will save themmermaid
as keepsakes or souvenirs…

to remember a particular place,
a particular person or persons,
or a particular situation….

Well, I think
you probably
know what I mean.

But to me,
dirty content
is almost
always better…

It strains the memory less.

So, as you might have
already figured,

today we’re featuring the
(at one time, at least)
ubiquitous snappy bar nappy.

Bars are very unique places
as you should probably know….

And featuring just
the right appurtenances
will give the placenapkin
that certain
je ne sais quoi .

You gotta have
the special
house drink
for instance..

for most of the places
I go into,zombie
that’s some
kinda play
on a Zombie.

— I dunno how
that’s telling
or appropriate,
but I guess it is.

Hey-
I’d buy you
one or two ride
— sure.

And once
those things
kicked in,
well —

Hoo boy…..

There goes
another kitten
off to the sandbox.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!

yours

The Creme De La Creme

Ok…
yes,
I’ll admit it-

I have a new favorite.

Her name is Yvette,
and she’s French.

Mais bien sûr!

Hey —
it’s not so much
that I’m not
still faithful
to my
first love-
Absinthe

— or to my best
drinkin’ buddy
Bourbon.

No, that’s
not it,
at all.

It’s just that…

— well, a man
develops appetites
for the exotic,
and a hankering
for variety at times,

–and he wants to
quench those appetites
with something a bit
more elaborate ,

more than a
little bit naughty,

– and completely satisfying.

So,
with that said —
meet Creme Yvette.

Yes, she smells sweet,
with a hint of violets
and fresh berries.

And she tastes of Elysium.

I first had her in a
small bistro in Marseilles
in 1978.

Then, she dropped
out of sight.

(actually, the idiot company
who made it discontinued
it after 130 years.)

And now, as suddenly
as she disappeared,
she has come back.

Better than ever.
(Because it’s in my glass)

Add her to some strong
espresso and cream, and
she’ll keep you going for
heaven knows how long.

Or just add dry Champagne
and a drop of bitters,

— or maybe a little
French Vanilla ice cream,
and she’ll linger on
your mind for days
– weeks —
you may never get
her off your mind.

YUM.

PS:
This was not a commercial.

I just love the stuff,
and what’s more —

You will like the stuff
or you can send me
the unused portion
of your bottle and
I will be happy to
drink it for you.

Just that’s just the
kinda guy I am.

!!!! HOY !!!!!