Respect Your Local Lima Bean

Yes, friends,
April is almost
upon us.

And you know
what that means.

Lima Bean Respect Day
on the 20th.

Again.

Jeeez—
wasn’t it
“Lima Bean Respect Day”
a couple months ago?

Ah well…
it really does only
come around once
a year, and you can
probably wait until
the last minute to
get ready for it,
(as you always do)
but consider what else
you’ll have to deal
with this month.

“National Tartan Day”
on the 6th means you’ll
have to get that old kilt
out of the closet and
aired out.

Awwww—
anybody seen my sporran?

That’s ok, though —
cause you’ll be just in time
for “National Beer Day”
on the 7th –
and you can get a free
Tennants Ale when you
wear it to the local pub.

Well, mine, anyway.

My dog Daisie is all
excited about “National Pet Day”
on the 11th– although she’s
already had her snack quota
for the month, in advance.

But, the day after that
is “Grilled Cheese Day”,
and as long as it’s Irish Cheddar,
she’ll be getting most of my
sandwich that day, I’ll bet.

Saturday, the 14th of April is
“Cake, Cookies and Cunnilingus”
day…. which sounds like a
natural combination to me.

Hey- I wouldn’t kid you about it-
and besides,
“National Tell A Lie Day”
is on the 4th.

Monday, the 16th, you can
look forward to
“Wear Pajamas To Work” day…
which, if I participated in,
would mean that the
next day would be
” First Day Outta Work” day.

Wow…
seems like a lot
going on in the first part
of the month, considering
that the last 10 days in April
include boring  stuff like
” Herbalist Day” ,
” Bicycle Day” and
“National High Five Day” –
although “National Talk Like
Shakespeare Day” is the 23rd,
which will be an excellent
opportunity to tell somebody
you don’t like that:
“A weasel hath
not such a deal
of spleen as you
are toss’d with.”

No worries —

they’ll probably be already
too worn out from the Lima
Bean Day festivities to retaliate.

That’s the theory, anyway.

!! HOY !!

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