More Candy

My post today has
me echoing a phrase
I used a lot when I
was just a young buck
out trick or treating
— “More Candy !”

Of course, what I meant then
was kinda different than
what I mean today,
as you will soon see —

— but the thrust of
the subject
was the same —

cause, who don’t
like candy, right ?

If it’s good enough
for the damn
Dionne Quintuplets,
it should be damn
good enough
for us.

And before you
mention it, I’m
very well aware
that I opened with a
picture of what was
not candy at all,
but chewing gum –
cause it was my
FAVORITE  —
Fruit Stripe Gum.

Man, you just didn’t get
15 seconds of flavor
like that anywhere else.

After that, of course,
it was chewing
rubber sealant,
(like any other gum
at the time)
but those 15 seconds–
—- wowie.

So anyhoo —

I called this post
‘more candy’
cause some of
you long suffering
regular readers may
recall that I posted
about vintage candy
before —
here.

Hmmm….

It’s not that I have
anything new to say
about candy since
the post aforementioned…
although I did acquire
some cool vintage ads ….

And even though I
no longer imbibe
in the stuff because
my poor ole teeth
won’t stand for it —

I can still reminisce a bit
and remember the stuff
that wrecked my dental
work in the first place.

Actually, I was hoping
to put kinda a dirty spin
on the candy theme,
but it ain’t as easy
as it might sound —

— despite me being an
expert on spinning
anything innocent
into something
instantly ribald —

I must be getting old.

Still, there’s always hope.

Does it help if I say that
I used to date a stripper
who used the name
( a nom-de-burlesque)
Candy Stryper ” ?

Oh..
I guess not.

Ok, well…

She was a very
sweet girl, anyway.

Like I said before-
MORE CANDY !!!!

!!!! HOY !!!!

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Take A Piece

freecandy

Ooo–
Candy.

A little candy
never hurt anybody, right?

I’ve had to learn not to eat much of it,
but as a kid, my conspicuous consumption
personally kept several candy companies in business.

The funny thing is —

— the ones I really loved
don’t taste anything like they did then —

oldnickIt must be the Franken-gredients
they use these days.

But, this ain’t a nutrition blog,
(heaven knows).

Nope–
this is more like:

“Fascinating Candy Facts You Couldn’t Care Less About”.

As you can probably tell from the title, this post is about …
… well, yeah.3m

For instance,
did you know that the Three Musketeers Candy Bar used to come in three flavors?

Yep–

before World War II, they were sold in three sections,
a vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate part.

During the war, flavorings became much more difficult to obtain,
and so, the Mars Company decided to go with just chocolate.

hailcandyAfter the war was over,

everybody forgot about the whole thing,

and Mars figured…
eh, what the hell
.

I dunno why they didn’t change the name….
— probably cause “One Musketeers” don’t sound quite as cavalier, or somethin’.

Pheh…
those Madison Avenue guys, ya know.

And,
Yes, now that you mention it — chick

It is funny how the process of naming candy bars works….

Consider the “Chick-O-Stick” bar, for example.

The candy company’s founder thought that his creation “resembled fried chicken”,

and named it Chick-O-Stick,

— despite it contained:
no chicken,
no chicken by products,
not even a vaguely chicken flavor.maryjane

The same goes for “Mary Jane’s” —

I don’t know how many teeth I lost trying to chew those things–

but they still don’t taste anything like any Mary Jane I ever knew.

Errr……..
ummm…..

Getting back to the Chick-O-Stick,
— it’s made outta coconut, peanut butter, sugar, and corn syrup.

They’ve sold millions of ’em since 1955.

chickwendinnerAnd I still I remember how much I hated getting them on Halloween..

….. cause I always thought they was chicken flavored candy.

I had no idea even WHAT they tasted like…

I just threw ’em out along with the apples,
and any other ‘healthy’ snack
I was unfortunate enough to have collected.

.

pezI recently noticed that vintage “PEZ” candy dispensers have become quite collectible.

Well, I bet ya didn’t know that PEZ was an acronym

— for the German word for ‘peppermint’
( the original flavor )

— as in P(feff)E(rmin)Z.

They weren’t designed for kids at all —

….they were conceived as a handy breath freshener dispenser,

and that’s why they were shaped like cigarette lighters.

Flavors of Pez candy once included Flower, Coffee, and Eucalyptus.

I love them little Pez things–
—- but I dunno about the flower flavor idea.

.

Alright — since too much candy ain’t no good for you–

aLet’s talk about something else I liked to consume as a kid:

“Fruit Flavored” drinks.

I betcha didn’t know that “Hawaiian Punch” started out as a tropical flavor sauce for ice cream.

Which explains why it’s so tooth-achingly sweet.

And speaking of popular ‘fruit’ drinks —

“Kool-Aid” was originally sold as “Fruit Smack”.

Hmmm….

raincandyPunch,
Smack —

For drinks aimed at kiddie winkies,
they do sound kinda violent,
don’t they ???

I can see why they changed that Fruit Smack name, anyway.

There’s no fruit IN Kool-Aid.

Chemicals, baby, chemicals.

.

And if you’re really into junk-food,
you’ve had to have had a ‘Twinkie’, right?

Yes, I know that they’re back making ’em again–
but did you know:

savethetwinkieThe ‘Creme’ filling in a “Twinkie” has no cream, and is mostly Krisco shortening—

And the original flavor of the Twinkie filling wasn’t vanilla, but banana–

—- which also had inspired the oval shape of the cake.

Again, that pesky little nuisance of World War II came into play–

It caused the price of bananas to rise,
— and so the Twinkie guys changed over, and never looked back.

Wait,

I know there’s a pun in there, somewhere.

.

spermiesBut, back to candy……

Umm,
yes,
Spermies
IS a candy brand.

But I really don’t wanna talk about the ingredients….

’cause my Mom occasionally reads this blog.

Hi, Mom !

Just take it from me, it’s got texture,
….. as unlikely as that might seem.

Ahem.

spacedustGeneral Mills owned the rights
to “POP ROCKS” for 20 years–

— before they figured out
to market and sell them.

They were ‘discovered’ by accident,

the carbonation that made those little things
‘pop’ in your mouth was originally added inadvertently,

…. and the corporate guys
had no idea what to do with ’em.

That’s why they make the big bucks, right?

.
ca
A friend of mine was telling me about this next one —

A brand of high-energy candy called “Crackheads”, containing the caffeine equivalent of 6 cups of coffee, is advertised under the slogan:

“We’re all addicted to something”.

MMmmmmmmmmm…
chocolate flavored espresso ???

milkywayMe likey that idea.

.

And a final piece of trivia —
— albeit having nothing to do with candy–

I know you didn’t know,
— and I know I didn’t know it, until I got an email yesterday —

Cookie Monster’s first name is SID.

Sid Cookie Monster.

Alrighty then.

Now, do what the nice monster says, and nobody gets hurt.

HOY!

a