Peter Is A Porkchop

Sometimes I think maybe
my father wasn’t as crazy
strict as I remember —

and then sometimes
I realize,
oh yes, he was

but I can certainly
understand a little bit
about his reasoning.

Comic books,
for instance.

They weren’t allowed
in the house, and I
wasn’t supposed to
be even reading them
– period.

So, I got my comic-book
fix one of two ways —

Either I hung out
at the drug-store
a couple blocks
from my house
and pretended to
be somebody with
a dime to buy one
of the damn things –

Or I went to my
grandmother’s house
where my Uncle Dave
had a huge collection
of comics stashed in
the broiler drawer
under the oven.

Although my Dad
got wise to the drugstore
thing pretty quick
( that pharmacist never
did look like he could
keep a damn secret ) ,
he never did discover
why I spent all that
time and effort walking
the 3 miles just about
every day to see my
Uncle Dave who I really
didn’t even like that much.

Comics ,
particularly Spiderman,
Iron Man, and Sgt Rock,
were my early 1960’s
guilty obsession —

— alhough, the drug store
used to carry other comics
that would been of
somewhat questionable
interest to anyone.

(They sold, so I guess
somebody liked em)

This one, for instance,
by DC — called
“Peter Porkchop” —

Believe it or not,
the comic had
an eleven year run –
– from 1949 to 1960 —

— as a very mildly humorous
re-spin of the time-worn
‘Dumbass Cat Versus
The Clever Mouse’ variety –

— this time with ‘Wolfie’
as the Lupine Loser
and Peter as the
Brilliantly Canny Boar.


Oh man…….

Yawnsville on the Express

Dull as High Mass.


What’s that you say?

It needs a weird plot twist ?


Well, ok –
here’s one:

In the 1980’s,
the characters
were brought back –
now, Peter was the
‘secret identity’ of a
superhero named
” Pig-Iron “…
and “Wolfie” –
now “Wuz-Wolf”,
his uber arch-enemy.

The porcine paragon is
supposedly a worker
in a Steel Mill in
‘Piggsburg’ (where else?)
who gets konked in the
head by a meteorite
and knocked into a
vat of molten metal.

He emerges as ‘living metal’ –
and becomes “The Swine of Steel” –
with the amazing power
to eat virtually anything.

I shit you not.

Makes you wanna pony
right up for the comic
with your hard-earned dime —

But by then, the damn thing
would costed you 2 bucks.

Boy, my Dad’s tight-assed rules
seem to make more and
more sense every day.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!!