The Daily Retro: A Swell Spot

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It’s Muscle-headed Mutt-headed Day

I’m sorry…

There just ain’t
another animal species
that’s cooler than the
one we feature
in today’s post.

The great
Canis Lupus Familiaris .

Otherwise known
as the Dog.

I’m sure there’s
plenty o’ folks
who would argue
that a Cat,
a Norwegian Blue Parrot,
or an Alligator
would make much
better companions —

— but that’s just
crazy talk, man.

Cause everybody should
know by now that you
just can’t trust a cat —

And that Parrot-

well,
the only reason he
doesn’t drive you
completely ape-shit
crazy squawking all nite
is because he’s pining
for the fjords.

Beautiful plumage,
though.

— as for Alligators—

Well, they get to
smelling pretty bad if
you don’t keep them
in the bathtub
all the time.

And I like to take a
bath myself,
once in a while.

Not that I probably
smell any better.

Ahem.

Anyhoo —
I found a whole bunch
of vintage doggie themed
post cards and thought
that we should declare
a Muscleheaded Blog-wide
holiday in honor of our
canine companions.

I think we’ll call it
something appropriate —
like MuttHeaded Day !

So, let me be the first to
wish you a
Happy Muttheaded Day.

! YAY !

Oh sure,
you cat people are certainly
welcome to participate, too —

if you’re not too busy trying
to figure out where the hell
your mouser even is,

or brushing cat hair
out of your bedsheets,

scooping kitty litter
for the 18th time today,

or out buying persnickety
provenders for your
picky pussycat.

As for you
alligator fans —

why don’t you get
something a little more
normal like a rabid ferret?

Just sayin’.

And while I’m on
the subject,
let me remind you that
— National Dog Day

(which is a slightly bigger
event than our
Muscleheaded Muttheaded Day)

is scheduled for August 26 —

so, be sure to
get your leather leashes
and collars ready.

Aww, now …..

Man,
have you ever
got a dirty mind.

!!!!! HOY !!!!!

.

Image result for vintage postcard puppy humor

Mongrel Melodies

doggieFrom the dark labyrinth of
musty, dusty storerooms
beneath what used to be
a major metropolitan
missle silo / tavern,
comes another in
a long string
of:
incoherent paragraphs,
mindless drivel,dogcatcher
and totally pointless posts —

Yes, it’s time again for
the next edition of the
Muscleheaded Blog.

As for today’s topic,
well, I’ll get straight to it.

DOGS.

They’re one of my
favorite kinda peeples.

And you might remember
that the Muscleheaded Blog
has a new canine mascot –daisy

Her name is Daisie Doggie,
and she’s an Australian Shepherd.

Cute as lace pants.

And I must say,
she fits right into
my rather eccentric household.

One of the things I do
to drive Daisie Doggie crazy –

( that’s my role in the house-
— to drive everybody else crazy )dog

is to sing her praises to her –

— she hates that —

( everybody’s a critic )

and to adapt popular
song titles/lyrics
to that end.

I think I’ve covereddog
the easy ones already,
but I’m finding myself
having to become more
and more creative every day.

(so she won’t get
bored, ya know. )

I was working on some
new ones tonight, and
I thought I’d try the
titles out on you —

— as my volunteer
experimental subjects, dog
if you will.

( mad scientist laugh follows )

See if you can figure
out song title I’m mangling.

I’ll even give you the artist,
and a link to the original song,dog
should you find any of that
really necessary.

A bit of a caveat:
A couple of em are tricky,
— and you have to let me
know how well you do !

Okey dokey :
like:skatingdog

“How Much Is That
Daisey Doggie In The Window”
( Patti Page )

” Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun ”
( Cyndi Lauper )

” A Whole Lotta Daisie “1dog
( AC/DC )

” Pup It Up ”
( Elvis Costello)

” Another Park, Another Poopie ”
( Doobie Brothers )

” Daisie Don’t Lose That Dogtag”
( Steely Dan )dog

” Gimme Back My Dogbowl ”
( Lynyrd Skynyrd )

” She’s My Best Friend’s Dog ”
( Cars )

” Green Eyed Puppy”
( Sugarloaf )

” Me, and You, and A
Dog Named Daisie”dog
( Lobo )

” Doggie My Eyes ”
( Jackson Browne )

” Barkin’ In The Moonlight”
( King Harvest )

” Come and Get Your Dog ”
( Redbone )

” Daisie You’re A Desperado ”
( Warren Zevon )

” Chooie Chooie “frenchbulldog
( Kingsmen )

” Puppies Gotta Move ”
( Gino Vanelli )

” You Ain’t Nuthin But An Australian Shepherd”
( Elvis )

” Canines of Sanchez ”
( Chuck Mangione)

” Bark Away ”
( George Harrison)

” Dark Eyed Cajun Doggie”dogs
( Doobie Brothers )

” Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap ”
( AC/DC )
( you ain’t never had a dog
if you don’t get that one)

.

PS: my very lovely buddy C
contributed a few of her own —puppy

“This Puppy is a Dog Now”
by Gary Puckett

“I Want To Hold Your Paw”
by the Beatles

“Daisie Stardust”
by David Bowie

“Jumpin’ Daisie Flash”
by The Rolling Stones.

Nicely done, C !!!!!

!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!

.

puppylove

The Kids Are Alright

qantasOh sure,
I know….

Kids are adorable.

That’s easy for
you to say now.

After one of them
kicks the hell out
of the back of your
seat for an entire
Pan-Pacific flight,
you might see them
in a slightly differentapunch
light,
but ok, fine.

And actually,
so do they

See things in a
different way, I mean.

Many of us believe in a2
a ‘simpler is better’ doctrine,
including myself….

— and kids certainly understand
the world in a much more
undemanding way.

You can’t fault em for that.

Well, you can’t anyway.
amoney
Still, puppies seem
much more reasonable to me.

From the canine’s
perspective,

Poop on the carpet –
you risk the dreaded
rolled up newpaper.

So, as a responsible puppy,
you scratch at the door and
wag your tail to say —
“hey, work with me, here.”

But babies– ajackie

they’ll piss on you
while you’re still
changin’ their
damned diapers–
and look you right in
the eye while they’re
doing it —
— they don’t care.
akarate
New carpet?

To a dog –
it’s a danger sign.

It even smells
like trouble.
So they avoid it.

Kids?

Awww–
let me just barf
up some green beans
and stewed prunes all over it,
–just to break it in right, ok?

You give a dog atooth
nice juicy bone,
you get licked
into next week.

Give a kid a nice present,
like a pair of cool sneakers,
and all he wants to know
is when he’ll get to wear out
the back of your airplane consw
seat with them…

Damn seat-kickin’ ingrates,
if you ask me.

Blech.

To abruptly and drastically
change the subject, shoes
though —

Did anybody watch
the Puppy Bowl?

Go Team Ruff.

Hey, Team Fluff
was pretty cute,
though, right ?

Just sayin.

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