Ruth Sawyer says:

ruthsawyer“To be a good storyteller,
one must be gloriously alive.

It is not possible to kindle
fresh fires from burned-out embers.

I have noticed that the best
of the traditional storytellers

whom I have heard have been
who live close
to the heart of things —

— to the earth, the sea, wind and weather.

They have been those who know solitude, silence.

They have been given
unbroken time to feel deeply,

to know the power of the spoken word.”

The Kiss Immortal

klimtKiss me, and see how important I am
— Sylvia Plath .

There are many ways human beings express themselves.

Some are constructive
like in:
making music,
screaming your name from the top of a mountain.

(Ok, maybe that screaming thing ain’t all that constructive,
….. but it damn sure makes me feel good. )

a5Some are destructive
like in:
making war,

— and spray painting your name onto the side of a mountain.

( Man, there’s nothing that pisses me off more than to hike all day and then find out some asshole with a paint can has been there before me and defaced the place .

It makes me wanna express myself on them. )


6Of all the ways that human beings express themselves, though —-

Nothing expresses the basic need of every person to LOVE —

—– > Like a kiss.

A kiss can mean so many things,
yes —

…. but it all comes down to the connection that we as people have with one another.

1aWe are social animals —

We need others —

— like flowers need sunshine,

— like ‘up’ needs ‘down’.

The simple kiss subliminally reminds us of that fact, every time we do it.

The kiss has been around for thousands of years–

… perhaps because what it allows us to express some things that can never be expressed as well in any other way……

Or perhaps,
simply because,
when properly done,
it’s a wonderful thing.

And consider this —

The lips are 100 times more sensitive than the tips of the fingers,

— and are twice as sensitive as the genitals.

In a recent study,
women overwhelmingly chose their lips as their number 1 ‘erogenous zone’.

And it’s always been that way.

The ancient Vedic texts, among some of the oldest writings in the world,
talk about kissing —daskiss

and the Kama Sutra contains an entire chapter on the subject.

In the Old Testament,

in the work of the Greek Philosophers,

on Egyptian monuments,

everywhere you look in the ancient world,

you see people doing it.

The Romans, in particular, where very fond of it —

— and developed it to an art form.

4The various forms of kissing were broken down into types —

There was the osculum, which was a respectful kiss to the hand or cheek,

The basium, which was a friendly kiss on the lips,

And then, the coup de grace —
the savolium,
or soul kiss.

This kiss, the savolium, was much admired and written about.

It was thought that the souls of the parties involved would merge and intertwine performing it.

Do we kiss any better than the ancient Romans, I wonder?

2There’s no way of knowing —

But, in modern times we do have a way of trying it out for ourselves —

We Americans call it the “French Kiss” .

In France,
it’s often called a”juncture of souls”.

Not only do lips get involved,
but tongues come to play too–

While the everyday ‘pucker kiss’ requires only 2 muscles to perform,
( and 2 people, of course ) ,

… the French Kiss requires the use of all 34 facial muscles.
( and at least 2 people… )

5This kiss is absolutely devastating when done properly,

— and can get you into some serious trouble —

One good one can completely change your perspective,

and alter your decision making processes.

Believe me,

I been there.

(Not that it’s all that important, but it also burns 7 calories a minute— so, you might want to take that into consideration the next time you’re planning your workouts.)

I remember the results of a study that was done at the University of Oxford,

3— in which several female participants had orgasms, while doing nothing more than kissing.


that’s a damn kiss.

I wish I had been there for that.

Who said science was boring, anyway?

Of course,

There is some interesting physiology going on during a kiss —

Sheril Kirshenbaum,
author of
“The Science of Kissing”-

” There is an associated rise in the neurotransmitter dopamine, responsible for craving and desire. Meanwhile, serotonin spikes to stimulate obsessive thoughts about a partner. This is the same neurotransmitter involved in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Oxytocin, popularly called the “love hormone,” is involved in bonding, fostering a sense of attachment.


In laymen’s language,

that means:
the more we do it,
the more we want to do it.

But she warns,

that a bad one really can be the ‘kiss of death’,

as far as a relationship goes, anyway—

59% of men and 66% of women say they have ended a budding relationship because of a bad kiss.

So —a3
what’s the right way ?


Experts agree on one thing —
—— and that is–
that they can’t agree.

Because really,
there is no right or wrong way —

If you’re kissing her the way she wants to be kissed,

I think you must be doing it right.

a4Just don’t forget:

Your Breath
it should be sweet smelling,
and you should not be breathing like you need an oxygen mask.

Your Teeth
come on, man —
cleanliness is next to kissliness.

Your Hair
I never knew a woman who didn’t want to play with your hair while she’s kissing you,
so you don’t need no sticky hair gel.

a2Your Face
this one’s really important to some women–
if she likes you clean shaven,
make sure it’s baby-butt smooth.

Your Body
all I can tell you here is that you gotta relax and let it flow.

The Environment
the longer she can be comfortable,
the longer she’ll be willing to kiss you.
So do your best to make her comfy.

If you’re not sure how she likes it,

why not ask her to kiss you the way she wants to be kissed
— that’s sure to get you both started.

And take your damn time —
slow, impassioned kisses will win her–

while insincere, ‘I-Wuv-Ya’ kisses will get you nowhere just as fast.

a2If you’re rushing because ‘the big game’ is coming on in 10 minutes,

…… you’d better get your priorities straightened out, man.

Holding her face firmly but gently while you slip your tongue inside her mouth and suck on her lips will definitely make her toes curl.

Don’t be afraid of moving your tongue around, and exploring.

Nibble here,
lick there,
suck lightly on her tongue.

Back up from your kiss for a moment,
and look deep into her eyes –

fr—— if they’re wide and excited,

go back in for some more.

If she’s yawning, well,

… more attention to what she does seems to like,
and try again.

Concentrate, man…

you can do this.

1aIf there’s a little wet spot on the chair in which she was sitting,

… and she hasn’t spilled her slurpee,

you’re doing something very right.

Keep up the good work.

you say that’s still not enough information on how to do it correctly?

Well, I guess you could consult Hugh Morris’s 1936 Art of Kissing ….

firstkissI’ve got to admit,
as strange as it might be,
he does seem to have a pretty good feel for his subject.

And feeling’s what it’s really all about, right ?

In the end, you can complicate it,
or you can simplify it,

but if you do what comes naturally,
I think you’re just bound to enjoy it.

And please feel free to comment,
…….. especially if you liked this post.

And if you’ve got an idea you want to see mangled up into one of these here Muscleheaded Blog posts,

…. just let me know–

reach me at .



P.S. :
Mrs. Fever sent me some observations on a previous post that I thought was very germane to this one, so I’ve carried them over. Why not check her blog out while you’re at it ? Hmmmm?

There is not any “one way” to do it, but it’s a rare thing for anyone to do it right. Especially the first time. Two people have to figure out what works *between them* which may or may not be what has worked with others. Chemistry is a weird thing. And no two mouths are the same. (Steven Tyler, anyone?)

My two cents:

Your tongue is not a sword.
If you have to “come up for air” you are doing it wrong.
No slobbering.
Sucking and nibbling are worked up to, not immediate.
Explore more than the lips.
Careful with the teeth! YEESH.
Gentle but firm.
Face holding. YES.
Facial hair is a frustration.
If my head’s not in it, a kiss is a pointless, perfunctory act.
Kissing is a skill. It can only be honed through practice.

And the health of your mouth is super important. Unchap your lips, brush your gums and tongue along with your teeth, and then there is THIS: Cold sores are HERPES, people. And HSV spreads like wildfire. Protect your partner.