The Anti-Flirt Club

I’ve always been a big flirt,
and I’ll be the first one to
admit that.

Mild participatory flirtation
can a be wonderful thing —
a matter of subtle body
language, a bantering
tête-à-tête, a joyful
recognition of each other’s
voluptuary natures.

It’s fun.
Cause I don’t flirt with
anyone who doesn’t.

But, flirting is one of those
things that can easily get
out of hand – and when it’s
not participatory (mutual),
or becomes crass or abusive –
one becomes what’s been
called ‘ a masher ‘.

I never got the whole concept
of cat-calling, for instance ….

Did a cat-call ever get a woman
to become interested in a man?

I kinda doubt it.

And the concept of
‘auto invitation’ —
cat-calling from cars —
well, that’s just gotta
be for very desperate
dudes, right?

Actually, it became such
a problem in the 1920’s
that a bunch of women
in Washington, DC founded
the first ‘anti-flirt’ club –
in 1923.


The president of said club,
Miss Alice Reighly, shown
with their official pennant,
published a list of ten rules
that she recommended to
all women :

” 1: Don’t flirt; those who flirt in haste oft repent in leisure.

2: Don’t accept rides from flirting motorists—they don’t all invite
you in to save you a walk.

3: Don’t use your eyes for ogling—
they were made for worthier

4: Don’t go out with men you don’t know—they may be married, and you may be in
for a hair-pulling match.

5: Don’t wink—a flutter of one eye may cause a tear in the other.

6: Don’t smile at flirtatious strangers—
save them for
people you know.

7: Don’t annex all the men you can get—
by flirting with many you may lose out on the one.

8: Don’t fall for the slick, dandified cake eater—the unpolished gold of a real man is worth more than the gloss of lounge lizard.

9: Don’t let elderly men with an eye to a flirtation pat you on the shoulder and take a fatherly interest in you. Those are usually the kind who want to forget
they are fathers.

10: Don’t ignore the man
you are sure of while you
flirt with another. When you
return to the first one you
may find him gone. ”

I dunno, honestly, why flirtation
should ever get so out of hand
that people would join a club to
discourage it —

— you’d think we’d all have
better sense , and more
sensitivity than that.

But, it just goes to
show ya……..


!!! HOY !!!

Rumblings In The Office

Fur is flying around
at work again…..

Several friends of mine are
embroiled in drama and static from upper management.

All due to
Office Romances ?

Ooooo weee…simple

does that ever
ring of trouble.

I have never
been romantically involved
with anybody at the office –

– a little mutual flirtation is
as far as I’ve ever been
willing to go-

(dangerous enough!)

— because man,
it really is a bad idea.

Now that I’m middle aged
(ahem) it’s not really as
difficult a thing to avoid,job
because there’s so many
other things that end up
preoccupying me when I’m
there, and as crazy as it
may sound, (even to me)
sex ain’t one of

(I’ve got plenty of time for
THAT preoccupation the
other 16 hours of the day)

Not even Sherry thumbing
each candy in my jelly bean
jar while leaning provocatively
over my desk doesn’t give
me the distractions anymore.

The sound of her sucking on
one just reminds me of my
productive time being sucked
out into the great beyond.

Oh sure, when
I was younger, it
was harder to ignore a
pretty face at work,
a cute swing of the hips,
a wink, a nod, a touch,
a quiet comment,
and that special smile that
you could feel all the way
down to your toes.

In the end, it meant the
same kinda potential
trouble it would mean
today —every

but when you’re a
young man, you feel
a bit more immune to
consequences as it were.

Or maybe the hormones
are jamming the frequency
of the natural, inherent
Danger, Will Robinson
alarms —

I’ve said it before,
and I’ll say it again…

We men are just
fools for their stockings.

But at work, there’s a
special set of reasons
for staying well away from
the water cooler clinch —

(sure, we got
bottles of water,
now, but that’s
not the point)

– which include stupid stuff
like gossip and overzealous
company rules –

– and more life changing
stuff like the potentials
for litigation, alimony,
palimony, child support,
fines, ruined reputations,
and unemployment.

That’s trouble,
my friend –

and these days, there’s a
large group of people who
make a living by doing
nothing but taking other
people’s words out of
context or putting them
in compromising positions
simply for the cash.

Of course, I’m not just
talking about sex-

a joke, a word, a name,
a symbol, a favorite song –

– all kinds of things
can be used to
make you look the fool
and the other look like
a victim.

All I can tell you
is to keep your
head down
and keep your
own counsel.

Cause even that
story about your
dinner date last
night can end up
causing you endless
amounts of aggro.

what a world –
what a world.

Ah well,
just don’t forget –

we’re all in
this together, pal.


!!! HOY !!!


The Friday Mail Bag

Piles and piles
of vintage postcards —

–nothing —

almost nothing)

can make me
happier on a
rainy afternoon
than to spend a
couple of hours
shuffling through
all the goodies,
and finding a few gems
for the Friday Mailbag

And I think you may
like the ones we picked
out —

— at least I hope
you will.

It kinda puts a
on the whole thing

Cause share-ing it
(or bare-ing it )
is caring.

Errr… it.

And staring is
just plain rude.

I’ll bet you don’t
see cards like these
every day.

now that I
think about it, we’re
posting cards like this
every day on this blog,

Forget what I was
just saying then….

What I meant was
they’re special.

not special like
that little bus I used
to have to ride to school,
either, wiseguy.

The damn self-talk
around here is
getting down right
argumentative, man.

like –
help out –
and let us know what
you think.

my habit to referring to
myself as a plural is
only gonna get worse–

and we wouldn’t want
that to continue,
would we ?

No, we wouldn’t.

Thank you.

!! HOY !!

She’s A Teaser

jSomething that
I’m reminded of,
on an almost
daily basis,
is how much
our social structure
has been transformed
in the last 50 some years.

I’m not saying
that it’s bad,
or that it’s good —

to me,
for the most part, anyway– a
— it’s just been weird.

And you know me,
change is something
that I never really
like all that much.

Take flirting,
for instance.

The rules seem to have
been altered wildly
without me ever
even getting
the first memo.

Here I thought that
there was this long process
of talking, courting and datingb
before you even thought
about touching a woman
that way ‘ —

— when all that is
apparently required
is a first class seat
on an aircraft,
a bad comb-over,
and ooodles
and oodles of money.

In that case,
all a lady
has to do is plunk down
in the seat next to you,
smile —

— and it’s all you can eat ?? c

Nuts, man.

What a creep.

Be that as it may…..

At the annual
collector’s swap-meet,
I was browsing a 1952 issue
of a magazine called
“The Girlfriend and The Boyfriend“…..

Sure, a strange title for
a magazine, but who am
I to argue with media moguls?


According to the expert
who wrote the article….

( I dunno,
is relationship-ologist
a word, or what?
I just made it up,
so maybe not. )

“High on every boy’s
list of pet peeves

is the type of girl
shown on these

and the next two pages.
Because she is a teaser.

Almost all girls that
are pretty flirt a little.

It’s the natural thing to do.
But a girl who is a teasere
is not content with simple,
wholesome flirting;
she goes out of her
way to bait boys

with an obvious display
of her physical charms

— baits them with
unspoken promises

that she hasn’t the
slightest intention of fulfilling.

In addition to her other
unflattering qualities,

therefore, a teaser is dishonest.
She has no real sincere
interest in the boys

whose attention she f
sets out to capture;

she is simply playing
a game in which

she holds all of the
cards and doesn’t

mind resorting to
the cheapest of tricks.

A few of these tricks
are illustrated here.

Sometimes they work,
sometimes they don’t.

But whether they are
successful or not,

a teaser never wins in the long run.
For no boy wants to
marry a girl

who enjoys showing off
her charms to others.”

Now, pardon me for interrupting
an obvious expert on stuff like this,
but it seems to me that teasing
is the very essence of flirting —

— and without flirting, g
— well—
life would be pretty fuckin dull,
…. let’s just put it that way.

The noble art of teasing
has been around for centuries —
and has got absolutely nothing
to do with honesty or
any other such millarkey.

I love to be teased,
and any man worth
his salt would say h
the same thing.

If the hook sinks a bit
too deep once in a while,
I dunno what to tell you,
but hey–
grow up, man.


!!!!!!!  HOY !!!!!!!!!