The Friday Mail Bag

It’s true.

Very much
like a cheap motel
that you paid
12 bucks a night
for ’cause
you were desperate
for some sleep —
(or something else
entirely)

You nevera1
really know
what’s gonna
turn up
around here on
the Müscleheaded Blog.

Might even be fun,
you never can tell.

But,
clean sheets?

Ha —
think again, man.

Sheets are only
really clean if they’ve
been steamed after
washing —

And that only happens
in the high fallootin’
places, anyway.

Otherwise, you’re in
bed with everyone and
anyone who’s been in
there before you.

Hmmmm….

It seems like
I’ve heard
that allusion before,
somewhere…..

Ahh well,
sharing is caring,
right?

Over the years I’ve
been doing my blog,
I’ve collected some
very interesting images.

a2Some of which
I’ll never be able
to find a legitimate
use for.

Uh huh.

But one must remember,
when you’re hungry
and strapped
for creative provisions,
that the scraps
in the mental refrigerator
(or in this case,
— the detritusfancy
of a digital hard drive)
can make for quite
a palatable tasting menu
when handled correctly.

Ok —
so enough of the
flowery puffing —
onwards toward the
proverbial
‘comme ci, comme ça’ .

Like virginity,ban
perfection is
overated , anyway.

(… as if I would know
anything about virginity)

Ahem.

And
speaking of
tasting menus,
that’s pretty much
what we have for today.

A little of this,
a little of that.

A blogging
banana split,
if you will.

Not cohesive,
and certainly
not tasteful, dineomat
but it’ll probably
fill you up
all the same
if you can keep
it all down.

Just chock full of:
bad writing,
mixed metaphors,
oddball humor,
questionable images
bettyand inside jokes.

Oh,
and don’t forget
the sexy girls.

Yep-
pretty typical
for the
Müscleheaded Blog,
you’re right.

That’s just the
way we roll, man.

PS: Thanks to my friend
J for the motel signs.

.

fritzwillis

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Bag Bag Bag, The Bag Is The Word

Don’t ask me
what that title
is supposed to
mean, man,
’cause I got
no idea ;

but I can tell you
how it was chosen.

Yep.

I’ve got the Ramones’
version of “Surfin Bird
rattlin’ around in
the back of my
poor, empty head –

– it has been all
damned morning.

And it’s Friday,
hence the mailbag
reference.

But like the
original song,
done back in
1963 by a
group called the
Trashmen” –

— the obviously
deep philosophical
meaning still kinda
eludes me,
somehow.

Maybe that’s to be
expected from a
surf-rock classic
written by a bunch
of guys from the city
of Minneapolis
( the surfing capital
of the Great Lakes? ).

And of course,
I do get the
abstruse significance
of the “Papa-Oom-
Mow-Mow”
part…

I mean,
who doesn’t ?

But it sure sounds
like they stole that
part from the
Rivingtons
don’t it ?

There were actually
several R&B songs
in the early 1960’s
that used similar
word play, and 
there was an awful
lot of that kinda
‘borrowing’ in the
music biz ……

So, when you’re
listening to
“Surfin’ Bird”,
you’re actually
listening to an
amalgam of
different musical
ideas.

Maybe not art,
but FUN,
anyway.

Ah well…..

– the bird
really still
is the word,
ya know.

But surfin’
dogs are much,
much cooler.

!! HOY !!

.

Friday Mail Merriment

myrnaWhen you
do a main write
6 days a week,
like we do
here at the
world non-famous
Muscleheaded Blog,

– some days there’s
just no other way
of answering the
posting exigency   —popcornrobot

One just
paddles out
into that
raging stream
of consciousness,

— dragging some
cool chaff out of
that undiscovered
country otherwise
known as the
digital mail-bag ……

related or unrelated,elbows40

to take with you and
hoping all the while
that the damn thing
comes together
cohesively somehow…

… sorta like
Mom’s Brunswick stew,

and hopefully not like
Mom’s world-famous
mixed-leftovers casserole.

Sorry, Mom.3
and all Irish cooks
everywhere.

Hey,
it’s not like
I grew up hungry.

One look at me,
and you can tell
I never missed a meal.

Flavor deprived,
maybe –
– but never hungry.

Still,
where Bobby Flay
was poolwhen Mom was
learning to cook,
well…
who knows the answer
to that one.

She had a few dishes
she could knock
out of the park,
and the rest were…
— at best,
filler.ballyhoo2

Now, you might just be
thinking that I’m using
my Mother’s cooking
as a scapegoat for my
utter lack of creativity
in coming up with a
topic for today’s post….

— and while
I patently deny
such an allegation,
it’s true that I am kinda
scraping the proverbial
bottom of the scorched
Pyrex….

Oh well, dance
Mom stopped reading
my blog after I made
those snarky remarks
about my Aunt Mary’s
penchant for sexy
stockings a couple
months back,

although
I’m still
sure that the
belated-ness of my
birthday present from
her is completely
unrelated, and simply
a matter of postal
service technicalities
of some sort or other…

— and will hopefully
be rectified without
the force majeure
requiring retraction
and/or apology.

Damn it,
I gave her
my list in January……

so I’m not
really sure
why she couldn’t
have sent it a higuyz
little farther
ahead.

Maybe
I shouldn’t
have said
‘no home-cooked items’,
I dunno.

.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!

.

edrunci

Well, I’ll Be Dog-Gone

If there’s one
kinda post I can
always get behind,
it’s one that extols
the virtues of man’s
best friend –

— his doggie.

And I guess I must
not be the only fan,
( by a long shot ),
because over the
years, fun loving
canines have
been a favorite
subject of postcard
producers, too.

It’s actually quite
amazing, the
large variety
of vintage cards
that our favorite
type house-pet
has been featured
in.

Today,
though,
I specifically went
looking for cards
that exemplified
one of their most
beloved attributes:

– their sense of humor.

Now, you might
be one of those
folks who doesn’t
think that dogs
have one –
but they do,
outrageous,
self-effacing,
and very,
very dry.

Not only do
they think stuff’s
funny, but they
also know the
difference between
having a laugh
with you,
and
being laughed
at.

Let me
tell you-
they will never,
never let YOU
have the last
laugh on them.

It’s gotta
be the
wolf-lineage
in them,
or
somethin’….

Cause…..

If’n
(yes, “if’n” is
a perfectly
valid Southernism)
you pull a dirty
trick on your dog,
and not only will
she remember it,
and give you the
evil-eye for weeks
afterwards, but just
when you’re least
expecting it,
BINGO.

Poop
in your slipper.

Revenge
a dog-dish served
very cold, man.

Take it from
somebody
who has been
a dog-lover
all his life,
don’t piss your
dog off.

Just don’t.

.
!!! HOY !!!

 

Sunday Morning Music

It’s the second
Sunday of July –
– already ?

Time sure flies when
you’re having fun.

You are having fun, right ?

Well, let’s see if we can’t
improve the chances of
all that, with a ‘good times’
music playlist that I hope
you’ll like !

.

Van Morrison —
” Across The Bridge

.

Swing Out Sister —
Somewhere In The World

.

Jackson 5-
I’ll Be There

.

Robert Palmer —
Mercy Mercy Me

.

Al Jarreau —
Breakin’ Away

.

Dennis Wilson —
” You And I

.

Lionel Ritchie
w/Candy Dulfer —
” Brick House

.

Michael Franks —
Now That The Summer’s Here”

.

Love —
She Comes In Colors

.

Boston —
More Than A Feeling

.

Sade —
Cherish The Day

.

No Doubt —
One More Summer

.

Rolling Stones —
” She’s A Rainbow “

.

Santana —
Oye Como Va

.

Chic —
Everybody Dance

.

Gabriella Quevedo
Here Comes The Sun

.

Shocking Blue —
” Venus “

.

Van Halen —
” Where Have All The
Good Times Gone”

.

Haircut 100 —
Fantastic Day

.

Esther Ofarim &
The Bee Gees —
Morning Of My Life

.

Fine Young Cannibals —
She Drives Me Crazy

.

B-52’s —
” Quiche Lorraine

.

Simply Red —
” Sunrise (Extended)

.

Tom Jones & Janis Joplin —
” Raise Your Hand

.

Edie Brickell —
Good Times

.

Beatles —
Birthday

.

!!! HOY !!!

Cocktails Anyone

a1I had a brilliant
comedian friend
back in the 1970’s and 1980’s

( I’m afraid we have
lost touch completely since )

named Woody Woodbury–

— whose favorite punchline
was:
” Booze — is the only Answer. “

Actually, when I
first started blogging,

I had stolen my
wrap-up
line from Woody
— which was:
“Surf’s UP ! “ —

and some of you
might remember
old sign off line:
” Stay Away From
The Snack Bar
” –

— which was a take off
on another one of his.

Hell,
he’s a very funny guy,bar
and he did influence
me greatly,

so I figured
he wouldn’t mind…
… all that much, anyway.

The truth be told,
“Hoy” is basically a
boiled down version
of all those other ones.

Knowing him, I bet
Woody is still performing
in Fort Lauderdale,
probably somewherebad
down on the
Galt Ocean Mile,

…. and if you should go down
US-1 South far enough there to
reach my old stompin grounds,
you need definitely to go
see him perform.

You will laugh your ass off.

And you can tell him that
“The Count” sent you.boila

(It’s a long story. )

He might buy you a drink.
He might go “HUH, WHO?”
Or he might throw you out.
Who knows.

(That’s even a longer story.)

Anyhoo…

While listening to one ofboil
Woody’s hilarious party
records this morning,

I was struck by the notion
that the whole Booze thing
was another good subject
to rip off for my blog.

After all,
booze and humor
go together like
hot sauce and condoms,

(errr–
something like that…)

and bars in general
have a long tradition
of relevant print art —
and the vintage stuff
can really be fun to look at.goodluck

We’re not just talking
about advertisements, now–

Actually, more like things
like bar napkins and such.

What?

You didn’t know
about printed bar napkins?job

Are you even
old enough to drink?

For crying out loud.

Ahem.

They don’t have to
be dirty to dirty
be interesting–

They can have
all kinds of different stuff
printed on them,
including,
of course,
the name and address
of the bar in question —

Often people will save themmermaid
as keepsakes or souvenirs…

to remember a particular place,
a particular person or persons,
or a particular situation….

Well, I think
you probably
know what I mean.

But to me,
dirty content
is almost
always better…

It strains the memory less.

So, as you might have
already figured,

today we’re featuring the
(at one time, at least)
ubiquitous snappy bar nappy.

Bars are very unique places
as you should probably know….

And featuring just
the right appurtenances
will give the placenapkin
that certain
je ne sais quoi .

You gotta have
the special
house drink
for instance..

for most of the places
I go into,zombie
that’s some
kinda play
on a Zombie.

— I dunno how
that’s telling
or appropriate,
but I guess it is.

Hey-
I’d buy you
one or two ride
— sure.

And once
those things
kicked in,
well —

Hoo boy…..

There goes
another kitten
off to the sandbox.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!

yours