Photo Boothing

My buddy Jen sent
me a funny picture
of a couple of dogs
mugging in one of
those coin-operated
automated photo
booths, and it got
me to thinking-

(always a
dangerous thing)

— just how many
hilarious examples
of this kinda thing
must be
out there
somewhere.

I guess it
must be true,
cause you can
do some really
goofy stuff in
front of a camera
in 5 second intervals.

Hell, I’ve been
known to participate
in some pretty silly
photo booth high jinks
myself when they were
still popular in arcades
and such.

Of course,
that required
pain-staking research,
searching every nook
and cranny of the
interwebs and stuff,
but
hey,
anything for
our readers, right ?

Well, here’s
the thing.

Most of the vintage
photo sets from
4 for a quarter
photo booths
that I found were
kinda lame…..

(with a few
exceptions)

People skewing up
their faces, bugging
their eye balls, and
making obscene
gestures is pretty
much par for the
course.

Not that
I have any
issue with any
of that-

– it just so
happens
that I hold
an advanced
degree in
obscene
gestures…..

….. but it’s just
not something
that would make
for all that thrilling
of a post,
if you get
my drift.

You seen
one middle
finger, you
seen em all.

But never fear —

( notwithstanding
how really slow
I was in
realizing it ) –

we did finally
figure out
that those
old fashioned
backdrop shots
that they used
to sell at the
beach,
arcades,
zoos, and
in amusement parks
could get pretty risque
or downright bizarre…

— especially those
from around
World War II.

Folks would simply
stick their head
or other appendages
into cut-outs on the
backdrop-

Then:
the camera
would click,
the light
would flash,
and – presto –
instant humiliation
stored on photo
emulsion paper.

Who wouldn’t
want ten
pounds
of that,
I ask you ?

Of course,
folks had a
much better
sense of humor
back then…….

And they hadn’t
learned yet the
truth of the now
defunct rule 74 –

– that if you
look like
you’re naked
or are doing
something
naughty in
a picture,
even if it
ain’t really
you, for all
practical purposes,
you are,
and for all time.

Don’t I know it.

(Rule 74 was
officially replaced
in the early
2000’s by :
Rule 74-R
which states that
unless you’re doing
so completely out
there while you’re
naked , (or a politico
or celebrity), that
makes it stand out
from the trillions
of other naked
pics floating
around
on the internet
somewhere,
there’s a very
strong chance
that nobody will
want/notice/care/
even see it. )

Ahem.

I honestly
don’t know
which version
of that rule that
I like least, but
anyhoo……

For those
of you who
tuned in to
see the funny
photo strips….

well,
if you’ve
got any:

just send em along
in care of this here
blog, we’ll still do
it on another post.

I just didn’t
have near
enough good
ones to make
a whole post
interesting.

And I do like
these vintage
‘cut-out’ shots 
a whole lot better
that the photo strips
I ended up not using.

It comes down
to simply this :

sometimes
a detour
will get ya
ya where you’re
going somewhere
faster than the
main road.

Not often,
I grant ya.

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

?????? WANT MORE ??????

Alrighty …………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Friday Mail Bag

It’s true.

Very much
like a cheap motel
that you paid
12 bucks a night
for ’cause
you were desperate
for some sleep —
(or something else
entirely)

You nevera1
really know
what’s gonna
turn up
around here on
the Müscleheaded Blog.

Might even be fun,
you never can tell.

But,
clean sheets?

Ha —
think again, man.

Sheets are only
really clean if they’ve
been steamed after
washing —

And that only happens
in the high fallootin’
places, anyway.

Otherwise, you’re in
bed with everyone and
anyone who’s been in
there before you.

Hmmmm….

It seems like
I’ve heard
that allusion before,
somewhere…..

Ahh well,
sharing is caring,
right?

Over the years I’ve
been doing my blog,
I’ve collected some
very interesting images.

a2Some of which
I’ll never be able
to find a legitimate
use for.

Uh huh.

But one must remember,
when you’re hungry
and strapped
for creative provisions,
that the scraps
in the mental refrigerator
(or in this case,
— the detritusfancy
of a digital hard drive)
can make for quite
a palatable tasting menu
when handled correctly.

Ok —
so enough of the
flowery puffing —
onwards toward the
proverbial
‘comme ci, comme ça’ .

Like virginity,ban
perfection is
overated , anyway.

(… as if I would know
anything about virginity)

Ahem.

And
speaking of
tasting menus,
that’s pretty much
what we have for today.

A little of this,
a little of that.

A blogging
banana split,
if you will.

Not cohesive,
and certainly
not tasteful, dineomat
but it’ll probably
fill you up
all the same
if you can keep
it all down.

Just chock full of:
bad writing,
mixed metaphors,
oddball humor,
questionable images
bettyand inside jokes.

Oh,
and don’t forget
the sexy girls.

Yep-
pretty typical
for the
Müscleheaded Blog,
you’re right.

That’s just the
way we roll, man.

PS: Thanks to my friend
J for the motel signs.

.

fritzwillis

Oh, Not One Of Those

ridjidIt’s Christmas
morning,
and it’s that
yearly
time of
reckoning —

–to see
if you figured
out how to gift your
special someone
with that special
something .

And somethin’
tells me
that some lady
of you
fucked it
completely up –
– again.

Please,
please –
– tell me you didn’t
fall into the holiday
ad trap.

Advertisers have a
knack for presenting
their products
at Christmastimesuck
that would lead a
man to the crackpot
conclusion that
buying her
something that
you ordinarily would
consider everyday
household equipment
is a great idea
for a holiday present.

And such bad ideassilverware
on what to
get her have been
featured in advertising
for decades ……

… and you ain’t learned
YET ?

Man, –
whatever else
you do –
don’t listen to the ads.

Woe to you,
my friend,stuff
if you have been
wooed by the siren
songs of :

“happier households
with a Hoover” —

“crock pots
make her hot” ,

“silverware for
your sweetie”,

or even a
“mixer for
your mistress”.

‘Cause that vacuum cleanerhoover
you gift her for Christmas
2018 will be the only thing
that’s going to get any
sucking action in 2019.

You will have violated
the unspoken rule :

— been
hornswoggled,
hoaxed,
and hoodwinked,

— you will have
tread upon
the devil himself’s
threshing floor,

— and dared
the angels
to reap righteous
vengeance
upon the
other male
members of
your previously
happy home.

Yes,
I pity the fool.

Remember,
for next year —
Rule Number 7
Section 4,
Subsection G
in the Man’s
Handbook :

“When in doubt,
buy her
booze,
jewelry,
or lingerie.”blacklabel

And gifting
her all three
will almost
guarantee a
very kicky
holiday
weekend,
indeed.

.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!

.

fredericks

 

Crazy-Bad Attitudes

1905-codeAll of us get
those days when,
for one reason
or another,
we’re not feeling
all that wonderful,

— and maybe
our attitude isn’t
the best either…..

And when I get
a day like that,crazy
I find that
it can easily escalate
into a real bad day —
— often for person,
(or persons)
other than just me.

It’s just hard
to keep
your trap shut
and your hands
at your sidecrazy
when people
come at you
without the slightest
understanding
of how much danger
they’re putting
themselves in.

Awww…..
you shouldn’t
have oughta gone,chopper
and done thaaaaaaat…..

Nuts.

Well,
hey, man,
cheer up…

you still got
your _____________.
(fill in the blank)dwig

I know it’s
cliché as hell,

…. but remembering
how much better
you’re off than a lot
of other people
(we won’t mention
any names)
will at least prove that
you’re not some ungrateful
selfish self absorbed bastard.

Well,
ok,
you’re not.

Remember —
when you’re unhappy,legs

— all you really need
is something that makes you happy.

Everything on your body might hurt,

your mind might be
going to mush,

your spirit might
be communing
with the ghost of
Edgar Allen Poe,nurse

your emotional state
might make you crazier
than a waltzing bed bug,

your job might be as
rewarding as a dirty Q-Tip,

your sex life might not have
enough shades of gray
to count on one hand,

your friends
might be talking
about cremating you
while you’re still alive —

But it’s still way
better than the
fuckin’ alternative.thendont

And remember
the old story
about the guy
who goes to doctor —

Jabbing himself
in the arm
with his own finger,
the guy says:

It hurts when I do that.”

The Doctor looks at him
for a minute, and then says:

Don’t DO that !
Next patient 
! ”

Often, (not always,
of course)
when we’re feeling bad,
it’s from stuff we’re doing
to ourselves,
or at the very least,july5
making worse.

So stop doing that.

Buck up.

And I’ll do the same.

HOY!

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“Stop It” Skit by Bob Newhart from Tim Tolosa on Vimeo.

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