Sorry Yer Sick

a4I’m very sorry to say –

A couple of my favorite people,
— in both
the ‘digital’ and ‘real’ realms —

haven’t been feeling
all that well —

being the huge egoist
that I truly am,

I figure there’s nothing that will
help make them feel better-erc
than seeing a post
on the Müscleheaded Blog
dedicated to
some genuinely heartfelt,
(as well as mildly suggestive),
‘Get Well’ wishes.

Hey, man —
you gotta start somewhere, right?

It’s interesting to realize
that a lot of vintage get-well cards
were really very saucy in nature….

bosomAnd I can tell you why that is.

no matter what ails ya,
sex usually makes pretty good medicine.

You can just feel
the vital healing power
of the libido kicking in,
as the titillation factor
of a naughty greeting card
from some toothsome,
well-wishing correspondent takes effect…

Who needs Ny-Quil and Tequila,ill
when there’s:
foxy pin-ups
risqué cartoons,
bad puns,
and double-entendres galore, right ?

Chicken soup is all well and good
(I like the one with extra noodles, thanks)
but nothing will get you back
on your proverbial feet
faster than the idea of
some passionate magic-bullet
dressed only in her underwear.

Even if you find yourself
in the horse-pistolaccident
(maybe afterwards) —

(When did they start
hospitalizing people
for a dirty mind, anyway?

— I dunno if my insurance
even covers that. )

Since when would a cute nurse
in white stockings and shoes
out to sooth your troubles away
make anybody feel worse?
( Please leave that little hat on )

It seems to me the right prescription, for sure.

I think I’m feeling a bit faint myself, right now.

the wound.

The wound.

So, suffice to say,
that while we will
spare the recuperants in question
(yes, that’s a damn word )snuff
much more of our witless repartee,

— we do have several very suitable
and (hopefully curative)
vintage cards
for today’s post.

I just hope it works.

Cause stuff just ain’t as much fun
when they ain’t around.