The Pulpier The Better

outofideasIt seems like the
trend in Hollyweird
these days is to
remake everything
they can get
their hands on……

And
come on,
did they
really need
to revisit “Ant Man
and The Wasp” from
comics ?

Lame,
man, lame.

Talk about
running out of ideas.worldofif

When they do
come up with
something of a
semi-original plot
idea —

it’s about turning
obnoxious rich guys
into pet house cats
so they’ll have to
spend more time
with their
just-as-obnoxious
families.

Oh well,
at least he
can’t complain
about not getting
enough pussy,
anymore.eat

Anyhoo —
back in the
vein of remakes,

I was thinking
that a fertile field
that Hollyweird
has thus-far
failed to tap
is the whole genre of
bad pulp paperbacks
from the
1950’s
and 1960’s–

After all,
how much
worse can
the movies getacdc
than they are now?

Of course, anybody
who has ever had
the pleasure of
furtively perusing
one of these vintage,
shabby pulp tomes
(as a young boy)
knows that the
interesting content
is all on the cover …..

— the rest of
the book
might as well
be an
encyclopedic entry
set on demonstratingcruel
the literary concept
of boring.

Vapid,
Tedious,
Lackluster,
Stodgy,
Mundane,
Banal,
Stale,
Unimaginative,
Jejeune,

—- Dullsville,
man.

Flat as
a pancake. 

Again, though —
it seems perfectly
in tune with the
current movie trendexp
which provide more
than ample breaks
in the action for the opportunity to go
visit the snack bar
several times during
a feature without
missing so much
as an Ooooh,
or an Ahhhh.

‘Cause at
the movie theatre —

Popcorn is profit.

Hmmmm….

Come to think about it…

Movies have gone through
all kinds of expensive,libraian
technological changes
over the years —

Panavision,
Technocolor,
3-D,
Sensoround,
Dolby Sound,
Digital Animation ….

All to produce,
what,
to average Joe,
is no more than
a hum-drum
minor adrenaline
surge at the
52:17 mark.

Popcorn
can do that,nursey
and has required
absolutely no expensive breakthroughs in
production technologies,

— nor has it
required spiraling
multi-billion dollar
contracts for over-paid
actors, writers,
and the rest of that ilk.

So my idea is that
we print up a few vintage
risque paperback covers
and charge people
to stand in line
at the snack bar
and look at em.

They can useprinc
their imagination
to develop the plots,
characters,
situations,
and
all the happy
endings they want.

We simply provide:

a $100 popcorn popper

and a years supply
of popcorn,

artificially flavored
synthetic ‘butter’

( really, just something
to wet the stuff,
but nothing to interfere
with the bland taste
which is so key to today’s sinstreet
cutting edge media
experience,
apparently )

plus a soda fountain,

posters,

an attendant that moves
slower than molasses,

and of course,
plenty of napkins.

You know,
for the happy
endings.

Jeeeez….

I’ll make a mint.

And they said
I’d never amount
to anything.

HOY !!!!!

pizzarolls

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Happy Halloween

Yes, friends —
— BEWARE —

— ’cause it’s time
for our annual
Halloween episode
of the
Muscleheaded Blog.

Oooooo–
scary, huh ? 

Ok,
so maybe
we’re not
doing scary
this year.

Maybe
this year
we’ll go ‘cute’
or ‘ unusual ‘ —

but that doesn’t
mean that we
don’t wish you a
Happy Halloween.

Far from it.

It’s a wonderful
traditional holiday,
fun for kids and
adults, so what’s
not to like ?

Personally,
candy doesn’t
hold all that much
charm for me these
days, but if you’re
into the whole trick
or treat thing, well,
more power to you.

May your sugar
wishes all come true.

If on the other
hand, you’re one
of those folks who
like to hold wild,
drunken parties
with delicious food
and highly decorated
rooms full of
half-naked, lewd,
totally out-of-hand
people and stuff ,

well……

… I really
only have
one thing to
say to you.

Why the hell
wasn’t I invited ????

Hey, I got a
brand new bottle
of Wild Turkey
and a Richard
Nixon mask
all ready
to partaaaaaaaaaay. 

Oh, I see.

Sure,
there’s always
next year, man.

In the meantime,
like I said, we’ve got
some cute and some
unusual vintage cards
for ya.

( You coulda used
something like this
as an invitation, ya
know….
just sayin. )

ENJOY !

Blind About Dating

medusaI was talking to a
gym buddy about
his personal life,
and somewhere
along the line
he brought up a
subject that I didn’t
even know they were
still doing……..

Blind dating.

Hmmmm….
very ‘old school’
if you ask me…..war

(aughhh,
I really hate
that expression)

It’s kinda a
strange deal,
doncha think?

Sure, you got all
kinds of digital dating
and sexting these
days, where you
basically know everydate
detail (up and including
nipple size, probably)
about another person
before you show up to
actually consummate
your first face to face
meet and greet.

And if it’s for dinner,
maybe I should use
the word ‘consomme’,
ya know…
soup to nuts.

But agreeing to
date somebody sight
unseen, without anya1
previous contact or
introduction, simply
because the person
in question is an
acquaintance of your
crazy second cousin ….

You just show
up at a placeblinddate
—cold—
without a clue of:
what they
think like,
look like,
smell like,
dress like,
talk like
or even
what they like ….

what you’ll think
of them,
or what they’ll
think of you….

— well,
the more grotesqueblinddate
potentials of that
scene really
creeps me out,
and I mean goose-
bumps-creepy.

I frankly don’t know
why anyone would
do it that way.

Courage
or crazy.

And so when
he said that he’d
recently gone
on one of theseblinddate
things…….

I realized that I didn’t
have a clue about the
ins and outs of the
whole blind dating
phenomena –

and really,
after having asked
a dozen or so
stupid questions,
I still don’t.

I might as well
have been writing
a blog post on the
more complicated
aspects of “Anti
DeSitter-Conformal
Field Theory “.

Exceptin’
that I’m not gonna.

But I did find some
funny cartoons and
stuff, so there’s that.

!!! HOY !!!

.

 

 

 

Early American Comic Postcards – Arthur Livingston

Today,
we feature some
early American
postcards from
around the
turn of
the century.

These were
published by
one of the
original postcard
printing companies
to spring up after
the United States
Postal Service
relinquished it’s
monopoly on
postcard production
in 1898, with the
passing of the
“Private Mailing
Card Act”.

Of course, there had
been English postcards
since 1840,
and the American
Postal Service had
been printing them
since 1873,
(exclusively)
but after the Act,
there was not
only a boom in
demand, but also
in printing companies
wishing to bring their
own creative designs
to market.

The Arthur Livingston
Publishing Company
was one of these –
their first card designs
were developed in
1897- in anticipation
of the Act being passed.

They became known
very quickly for a set
of cards depicting
scenes relating to the
Spanish-American War.

A good variety of cards
were featured by the
company in the 10 short
years of it’s presence on
the market–

— with subject matters
ranging from :
warships, scenic views,
souvenir and patriotic
themes, photographic
and art cards —

produced first by
black & white
halftone lithography,
and then-
in monotone,
and color process.

They also published
many sets of
color comic cards,
including the series
that we feature today,
which were manufactured
in the last few years
of the company’s
postcard production.

They have a very
interesting style,
wouldn’t you say ?

One can see why
they were popular
with the early 1900’s
postcard buyers — 

— although their
rather distinctive
looks quickly made
them seem kinda
old fashioned, and
most of the cards
were discarded
over the years.

We’re happy to 
have found some
survivors –
and to be able
to share them,
more than 110 years
after they were first
produced.

!!! HOY !!!

.

Mary And Her Monkey

edAs I have been
heard to say
more than once…..

Our Edwardian
predecessors could
get downright weird.

Their postcards
show this
tendency very clearly.

Oh sure, I know — monk
it’s just harmless fun, sure.

Until somebody puts
an eye out or something.

Alright, so I don’t know
what I’m talking about.
monk2
That’s never stopped us
around here before.

The truth is that sometimes,
their humor has completely
lost it’s meaning to us
modern-day in-the-know folk,

monk3— and we really don’t know
what the hell they
were talking about.

I’d LOVE to say
I get the joke,
but a lot of references
just get very lost in
the fog of history
and changes in language.  4

So, even a seemingly
simple, dirty spin
on a nursery rhyme
requires a PhD in
cultural anthropology
to really be understood.

As far as the naughty
symbolism 5is concerned,
I’m thinking that we
we might have simply
switched animals over
the course of a century……

And I’m betting she woulda
had a lot more fun with
that monkey if she had
just gone ahead 6
and shaved it.

Just sayin’.

!!!! HOY !!!!!!!