Hustle Your Bustle

What’s that you say? go

Blue Humor ?

On the
Muscleheaded
Blog ?

Naaaah —

It must be
just in your
dirty mind, right ?

Or is it mine?

Ya see,
I was perusing my
antique postcards
from the early 1900’s
last weekend….

And I couldn’t help
feeling that
a lot of these
old cards
conceal ribald
double-entendres
in their punchlines .

And barely
conceal,
at that.

Maybe that’s why
I like em so much,
but still.

I am sure
of one thing —

They were intended
to put :

A rustle in your bustle.

A clinch in your cinch.

A bee in your brassiere.

A nip in your slip.

Some leer in your lingerie.

A crinkle in your crinoline.

A gasp in your garter…

A coursing in your corset?

Oh,athat
that’s more
than one thing.

Alrighty then..
ahem.

I must say,
even though
I myself,
being a creature
of the internet age,
are accustomed to
much steamier fare,
these cards still stir
the pot for me, too.

I’m not gonna
venture a guess
on why that is…..

You want to
see more, you
you say?

Well why not ,
by jingo.

This next card,
of a couple
cuddling on a couch,
took me a while to figure out —

because as you can see,1911
the caption had mostly faded
into the background.

—— >

But as near as
I can figure,
it reads:

” Well my boy
I’m mighty happy,
That its come
From you at last,b1
Needn’t worry
About the wedding,
For it
Cannot come too fast. “

And he does seem
to be making
pretty good time,
now that you mention it.

I love these things, man.

You can kinda write
your own meaning
into ’em.

Ok, sure,
if you’re all
clean-cut and all,
and you want to thinka1
“oh, they didn’t mean
anything by that”,
you can.

(Hey,
you’re no fun, anymore.)

But, if you’re like me,
you’ll enjoy writing
dirty stories
in your head
to go right
along with em.

I’m all for that.

You could
even post
those dirty stories
in comments

….. if such a notion
should justabehave
suddenly occur
to you, ya know.

I’m even more
all for THAT.

Cause,
if the truth
be told,
life is just too
damned short
not to have all
the sexy fun you can.

So,
— keep up the
good work, man.

.

HOY !!!!!

.

afriend

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More Arthur Livingston Publishing Postcards

You might
remember
our post a
couple months
ago about
the Arthur Livingston
Publishing Company…

If not,
there’s a
relatively good
history of the
company on
there, so check
it out by clicking
here.

I got a nice note
from a collector
of Livingston
postcards that
informed me
that they
discontinued
production of the
comic postcards
in late 1905.

However, while
several other
sources seem to
confirm this, I have
seen cards from the
company that show
copyright dates up
to 1907.

Not that it
makes all
that much
difference,
but just as
a point of reference,
and there’s no doubt
that the company
completely ceased
operation as an
independent entity
by 1910.

The cards on today’s
post are all from 1905
and 1906; they are
very distinctively in
the Livingston style,
and belong to several
series ;

Their version of
“vinegar valentines”
are relatively rare
to find at card
shows these days,
like number 1133
at right —->

– but the other
sets are
more common –

All of them
are fun and
are real period
pieces.

I was also asked
about what I
thought about
the value of the
cards on the
previous post,
and while I’ll have
to say that paying
any more than 10
bucks for one would
seem excessive,
I usually buy them
in larger lots at stamp
and ephemera shows,
so individual values
aren’t all that relevant
to me.

There are value guides
out there like
“The Golden Age
Of Postcards” by
Benjamin Penniston,
( a wonderful reference ),
but value is so hard to
generalize.

If you like it, and you
want it, try to buy it
if you can agree on
a reasonable price,

If not, wait, and it’ll
eventually turn up
again.

Obviously,
condition and rarity
has to be taken into
consideration, but
more and more folks
are selling their cards
on the internet –
which has changed
the whole collecting
game to some extent.

Just remember if
you’re doing business
that way, to always
consider the seller’s
history and reputability –

– otherwise, nasty
surprises can come
your way.

I personally like
buying them
face to face –
cause I can see
what I’m getting.

And truthfully,
that applies to all
collectible ephemera;
before I got wise,
I paid for several
‘vintage’ pin-up prints
that turned out to have
been photocopied.

You want originals –
– they’re the only
thing that’s gonna
have any real
collectible value.

Otherwise,
well, you can
simply look
at them right
here on the
Muscleheaded Blog
anytime you want
for free…..

Cause we get a kick
out of sharing what
we find !

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

.

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trippin In The Mind’s Eye

Despite the realities
of the situation,

– ( being too busy
at work to even
think about getting
out of town ) –

my mind is spending
a couple of well
earned days at
a beach resort.

I have to say,
when I’m not
too busy to tune in….

It looks like there’s
beautiful and friendly
half nekkid ladies
everywhere, the
weather is absolutely
perfect, the sand is
cool and clean, the
water is a Honolulu-like
71 degrees, with 6-8
foot curls in case my
subconscious wants
to do a bit o’ brain
surfin.

The good part of
such a mind-deal
vacation is that you
never have to worry
about who you’re
sitting next to on
the plane, or how
lame the restaurants
are there, or carrying
the right kinda
sun-block with ya.

You can play your
music as loud as
you want, and the
people on the
next blanket never
complain or let
their kids kick
sand all over
your stuff.

The mini-bar at
the resort is always
stocked with lots
of ice cold Duvel
Belgian Ale, and
the view from the
patio is a panoramic
scene of the world’s
most stunning nude
beach.

There’s always room
in the hot-tub, and
nobody’s ever turned
it up to 130, or spilled
their pina-colada in
there.

Hey-
you want
room service?

The pretty lady who
delivers it is just the
right level of flirtatious
and accommodating
without making you
feel like you’ve
unintentionally
become part of a
nationwide vice
entrapment
operation.

The fucking hotel
elevator even works
– every time.

The nightlife
is jammin‘ !

– and they turn off the
lights and noise when
you’re ready for bed.brass

The bad part,
of course,
is that you’re
actually still
at the office
until 4 in the
morning ‘catching
up’ on work that
never really will
be caught up
upon.

And, no matter
how good your
imagination is,
the endless
nightmare
that is
Charlotte traffic
will be sure to
drive you back
to your senses
way too soon
for your liking.

I mean,
fantasy
can only
take you
so far,
ya know?

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

 

Pull My String

muPull Da String !

One thing is for certain…….

I’m easily amused.

And even more
easily distracted.

I must be,
man.

A good friend
of mine
( Hiya C )
has suggested
another post
on puppets…….mule

Now, if you
haven’t been
keeping track,

(shame on you)

I’ve posted a couple
of different thingsrabbit
about puppets
over the years
that the Muscleheaded
Blog has been on
Wordpress……

( like this one,
— or this one )

And while I thoughthandshadow
that all those posts
were pretty
semi-amusing,

they really didn’t
nearly cover
all the special nonsense,
niceties and nuances
that the weird world
of puppetsduck
has to offer.

And frankly,
I’m betting
that neither
will this one.

It’s funny ….camel
— just how
blogging works,
ya know.

As a practical matter,
you’d think that all
you’d have to do
is start writing about a subject,runci
and it’d be pretty easy
to end up with a cohesive
and intelligible product.

And maybe it does work
that way for some people.

But for me, with my
sempiternally short
attention span,
(sure it’s a word –
— look it up)
it’s hard to stay on track —

there’s so many directionsexhibit
that this post could take —

— even on a
relatively mindless
subject such as puppets.

I mean,
what’s a puppet anyway,
but something
that you either
shove your finger/hand up into –

… umm…
steady on, now….

— or something you control
with strings, levers,
poles, etc.fantasia

Simple things…..

— hey, you could even
make a bunch of puppets
out of nothing but light
and a couple of digits.

Which brings me to
the original direction
that this post was
going to take …..

how to make
shadow puppets….

that is, earlebergey
before all the pin ups
featuring puppets
starting wrecking havoc
with my imagination.

Hey,
dammit,
I’m sorry,
I really am.

Sure —
I coulda
stuck strictly
to the subject at hand….

(yeah, puppet-pun humor)fionastephensopn

but, I have my integrity
as a dirty minded
Musclehead to consider.

You cannot possibly hope
to understand
just how convoluted
it got around here —

as I tried to
boil this post down
to something

that would makeelvgre
a bit of sense.

I’m not talking
Pulitzer Prize, now….

Well, if they insisted,
I guess I’d accept,
but….

So anyhoo…

As the man said,
what you see
is what you get.

.

HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elvgren

They Think You’re Crazy Anyway

Smile.

The truth is that
the downsides
of life never hurt
as bad as they can
until you forget
how to smile.

I dunno where I
first heard that,
but it rings true
more as I get
older than ever.

Smiling through
pain, heartache,
criticism, stress,
and life’s various
and sundry
difficulties not
only ends up making
you happier, but
gives you a better
chance at successfully
coming out the other
side.

I don’t think
it works on
Doctor Death,
but hell, I’m
gonna try it
when I eventually
run into him.

I figure,
what do I got
to lose ?

It’s sorta like
jumping right
before a runaway
elevator hits the
bottom floor…
no sense worrying
about your knees
in that situation,
is there?

Turn up the music
and turn on the smile.

Pass the Bourbon,
the Absinthe, or
the Bacardi and
lime.

Invite your friends-
and have a party.
( I’ll be right over )

Not that it’s easy
to keep smiling when
the landlord’s revoking
your lease for playing
your music too loud,
your liquor cabinet has
now been emptied of
it’s contents by your
constant partying,
your car’s being
repossessed by
the Pep Boys, and
the IRS has decided
to use your tax refund
to help solve the
national debt ;

— man,
I totally relate.

Just forget all
that for a mo —

and remember how
weird-ed out other
folks get when you
shouldn’t be
smiling,
but are, anyway.

No matter what
they say at that point,
they’re always gonna
think you’re at least
half-crazy, and I find,
at least, that the
world’s a lot easier
to deal with when
everybody believes
that.

If it’s somebody at
work or a relative is
getting under your skin
while you’re trying to
cope, just try to
imagine them
being in the same
situation you are,
and then totally
screwing the pooch
emotionally, mentally,
and physically.

Even imagining them
accidentally wetting
themselves is not
out of the question-

-hey, desperate times
call for desperate
measures, ya know.

If that don’t make
you laugh, well,
you’re just
no fun
anymore.

!!! HOY !!!

.

.

.

Take A Swing

swingHappy Wednesday.

I was browsing my
postcard collection
the other day,

and happened
to notice an
interesting phenomena —

(well, to me, anyway)

— the plethora of cards
dealing with pretty girls
in/on garden swings.

I wondered,
if maybe,
perhaps,
it was just
a resultim-getting-the-swing-of-things-here-posted-1913-vintage-comic-postcard-1784ffe4e6cd85266cd83040a181997a
of a peculiarity
in my personal
collecting
propensities……

After all,
I’ve really
got nothing
against pretty girls
on postcards doing
just about anything,

and the typical garden
or porch type swing
does offer up
certain opportunities
for …

…. well,a1
wait a minute,
now…..

I already got
called a ‘perv’
once this week,

I know the lady
in question meant it
as a joke, and I took
it that way, I did…

In the best
possible way.

So, I’m just using it
as a cheap gimmick
to drive a post write…

although I certainly
don’t think being
a perv is a bad thing,
or could ever
take it as an insult…

— at least at
my age 😀

Ahem. summer

A man finds a
good imagination
key to keeping
his interests
in life and love alive–

— and his hormone
levels up —

cause you never know
when a situation
could arise to
make that sorta
thing useful .

Here’s hopin,
anyway.

And, hey-
they don’t even
pay me a2for
writing this
convoluted
and chaotic blog —

so you gotta take
ideas and inspiration
where you find it
sometimes, man.

But,

Be that
as it may–

let me
pick my way
a little more
carefully through
this one…..a5

Apparently,
a large number of
vintage postcards
have been issued
on this very theme —

— the common
‘swing’ —
over the years.

Oh.1910

Just imagine that.

Notwithstanding
all of the
other stuff
a person,
or persons,
could use
to accommodate
their swinging
lifestyle ….

like the half moon,
(or a full moon,
for that matter)
the stars at night,
a low hanging balcony,
the saddle of a live
bucking bronco,
the music of
a bad-ass big-band,
a hanging log,
even a fishing line,

— or for that matter,
any one of a number
of other implements…..

It seems that the
simple garden
swing is king.

As we’ve
already discussed,
I’ve decided to spare
y’all the lecture —

without explaining
all of the possible
permutationsa3
of what went
into the popularity
of these cards,

… including all of the
obvious things
that might naturally
occur to any
healthy,
mature-minded perv —

I’ll just leave it
with the symbolism
involved —

you know,
from the perspective
of the swingee —

freedom
from the usuala667
earth-bound
gravitational
considerations,

the simulation
of flight,

and the value of a
strong, cool
vertical breeze
on a hot day….ne

All that.

We will not discuss
the implications
to the viewer
of said swingee.

You know,
—-  all them
pervs to whom
they sold all
those cards to,
originally.

I,
quite obviously,
being a leading one.

HOY !!!!!!

.

artfrahm