One of the things
that postcards were
supposed to do was
remind someone of
something —

whether it be
of a person,
a place,
a time,
a thing,
or even an idea….


that’s it,kiddie

I know that it seems
that sometimes that
this blog relies way
too much
upon references,
and illustrationstryand
that may appear:
out of touch,
out of date,
and just plain out.

Yeah, I guess
that means
we’re dusty,
musty and
crusty, even.try

Our frame
of reference
is rather passé,
and old fashioned.

so right.suit

And I don’t mind
any, or all, of that.

While maybe
many of the cards
give me some pause
for reflection about
their relevancy…

— the truth is
that those veryprop
propensities toward the
arcane and archaic are
a big part of what this
whole blog is about.

A guy in his middle age
(like it or not, I am)
(or, hopefully learns)
to be able to
between the oldies,
the goldies and
the moldies.

Hopefully, we can
interpet them
all on the
Müscleheaded Blog
in a way that is still

— and if not that,fredstone
then at least,
we can have
some fun with them.

Remembering the
relics of the past
is part and parcel
with learning from
the past –

It’s important toforgetbeach
that living, breathing,
feeling human beings,
just like us,
produced and
enjoyed them-
they meant something
to them.

Yes, just as our relics
mean something to us,
and as we’d hope thatforge
they mean something
to someone in the future.

Perhaps it’s too much
to expect that they will
feel the same about them
as we do…..

…… but it’s enough
that we can share part
of those things thatbathing
we experience in our
short time here.

Let succeeding
make what they
will of it.

I am content.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!



The Friday Mail Bag

It’s true.

Very much
like a cheap motel
that you paid
12 bucks a night
for ’cause
you were desperate
for some sleep —
(or something else

You nevera1
really know
what’s gonna
turn up
around here on
the Müscleheaded Blog.

Might even be fun,
you never can tell.

clean sheets?

Ha —
think again, man.

Sheets are only
really clean if they’ve
been steamed after
washing —

And that only happens
in the high fallootin’
places, anyway.

Otherwise, you’re in
bed with everyone and
anyone who’s been in
there before you.


It seems like
I’ve heard
that allusion before,

Ahh well,
sharing is caring,

Over the years I’ve
been doing my blog,
I’ve collected some
very interesting images.

a2Some of which
I’ll never be able
to find a legitimate
use for.

Uh huh.

But one must remember,
when you’re hungry
and strapped
for creative provisions,
that the scraps
in the mental refrigerator
(or in this case,
— the detritusfancy
of a digital hard drive)
can make for quite
a palatable tasting menu
when handled correctly.

Ok —
so enough of the
flowery puffing —
onwards toward the
‘comme ci, comme ça’ .

Like virginity,ban
perfection is
overated , anyway.

(… as if I would know
anything about virginity)


speaking of
tasting menus,
that’s pretty much
what we have for today.

A little of this,
a little of that.

A blogging
banana split,
if you will.

Not cohesive,
and certainly
not tasteful, dineomat
but it’ll probably
fill you up
all the same
if you can keep
it all down.

Just chock full of:
bad writing,
mixed metaphors,
oddball humor,
questionable images
bettyand inside jokes.

and don’t forget
the sexy girls.

pretty typical
for the
Müscleheaded Blog,
you’re right.

That’s just the
way we roll, man.

PS: Thanks to my friend
J for the motel signs.



Great, Greater, Greatest

mehYou hear the word a lot.

“He was a great man”.

Great —

Who are we talking about?

Thomas Aquinas,


Huey Long?

prideAnother example:

” That was a great verse” .

Ok —
like what ?

She walks in beauty,
like the night


Dance this
mess around
” ?


This is a great meal.

The Last Supper,


Fries and a ‘Big Mac’?


aThe great unwashed masses.


So, what’s so great
about a bunch of
smelly people?


For the greater good.

The greater good
of the people at large


The greater good
of the corporations ?


Great Scott !!!!

General Winfield Scott got so out of shape and portly,
he couldn’t ride a horse–

He had to have a special carriage to take him to battlefield conferences.


A great entrepreneur ….

Great at taking care
of his family, employees
and the community,


Just great at making money ?


1USA —
The greatest country on Earth !

Notice just how easy
that slides off some
tongues without a
second thought.

I’m a veteran,
and I love my country,
and so, let’s be reasonable.

Most people who use
this expression haven’t
been out of Cleveland.


when is something
really great?

How can something
connotate polar opposites like:

power – The Great Wall,
and impotence – The Great Oz ?

success- Alexander the Great,
and failure – Pompey the Great ?

hope – The Great 5th Dalai Lama,
……. and despair – The Great Depression ?



I got to thinking about it,
the other day….

this concept of GREAT.

I mean, how would
I know what it is….1

I have never done
anything really great.

I’m not sure anyone
in my lifetime has.

Is great-ness something
you can aspire to,
or are you born to it?

Can you train for it,
or does it come

Can you come
by it accidentally,
or does it have to
be by intentional act?

suckDo you know you’re doing something great while you’re doing it,

— or do you have to wait for history to judge?

Geeez… it’s complicated , this great-ness thing.

I mean, I hear the word all time, describing everything
from pot roast to test scores.

Do we degrade the
whole idea of ‘great
because we overuse the word?

Can breakfast cereal
ever really hope to
being gggrrrreat,
— just cause a cartoon tiger says it is?

Can we make something great -even greater- by adding an extra adjective.. as in :

” Hey Mom –
this is fucking great ham! ”

Can you say Mahatma Gandhi was “super great”,

— and the Beatles “just plain great”,
but not in a Gandhi sorta way?

Can you be great, just because
you’re better at something
than other people?

Mike Tyson,
was he a great boxer?

Is it possible to narrow the
focus of great down to
something trivial?

Ahhh… trivial.

Are those my own prejudices
about professional boxing
being a cruel inhumane
sport bleeding through?

greatideaOf course, I mean trivial

…as having no real positive impact on society, or mankind at large.

Does greatness depend on being a good person –

on having a positive impact ?

You could say I’m messing
with your head, here.

But I see this as a way
of defining how we feel
about ‘great‘…

If you say, yes-
it’s possible to be great
doing something terrible
or cruel –
— then, your definition
of great could apply to
anyone – doing anything –
— as long as they’re
good at it.



Jeffrey Dahmer- a great cannibal and mass murderer?
He wuz good at it,
after all….

On the other hand, if you say that it’s only possible to be great,
—if the party in question is doing something for the betterment of the species….,

……. then I think you have
to narrow your list of great
people, and great things,

I dunno.

Quotations about “Greatness”

Here’s what some of the
“great” minds of history
have to say about it.

You can decide for yourself
which people– and ideas– qualify.




” Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children “
— Kahlil Gibran


” A man does not show his greatness by being at one extremity, but rather by touching both at once.”
— Blaise Pascal


” Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others “
— Wm Boetcker


” They’re only truly great who are truly good. “
— George Chapman


” Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength. “
— Henry Ward Beecher


” I’ve often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness. “
— Woody Allen


“A really great man is known by three signs,–generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, and moderation in success. “
— Von Bismarck


” He who ascends to mountain-tops shall find
Their loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds of snow;
He who surpasses or subdues mankind,
Must look down on the hate of those below.
Tho’ high above the sun of glory glow,
And far beneath the earth and ocean spread,
Round him are icy rocks, and loudly blow
Contending tempests on his naked head. “

— Lord Byron

so….. do you have a
favorite way of defining









Quote Me This

As you probably
have gleaned
from the
Blog already, I’m a
big fan of quotes.

I like to think
I have a quote
on hand for just
any occasion —

— although
I must admit to
having some
trepidations about
throwing them
around willy-nilly.

After all,
quotes are
very much like
holy-book tenets —

— you can pretty
much find some
verse to justify
almost any kind
of position
you want to take
on a particular
subject —

and sometimes
contradicting itself
in the same paragraph.

Not to take the
Bible out of hand,
but I’ll show you
what I mean-

Galatians 6:5 says:
“For every man shall
bear his own burden.”
The same chapter,
in 6:2, says:
“Bear ye one
another’s burdens. “

You can see
how these two
ideas differ-

— as would the types of
situations in which each
one would be used
to support an argument
or idea.

So much for continuity.

No need to explain
to me about context,

I’ve heard both
of these verses
used in the popular media,
quasi-religious figures,
and by political pundits
with no more reference
to context than to the
man in the moon.

But since I like to
avoid subjects
like religion
whenever possible,
I’ll give you a more
generic example –

on writing.

Hemingway said that:
“The first draft of
anything is shit.”

Clifford Geertz said:
“I don’t write drafts.
I write from the
to the end,
and when

it’s finished, it’s done.”

And if I could add my
own spin on it, well…

it’d be that:
“Sometimes the
first draft

is all you need, and
60 ain’t enough. “

So, there you have
three quotes,
(one that means
very little, I’ll grant you),
that all say contradictory
things about the
subject at hand.

And you can pretty much
do that with any subject
you’d like.

Take the value of a happy childhood-

Tom Robbins says:
“It’s never too late to
have a happy childhood.”

Robert Heinlein said:

“Don’t handicap your children
by making their lives easy.”

I guess my Dad
definitely was a fan
of that philosophy
over the first.

How I got started
on this subject
was when I was
listening to Paloma Faith’s
Only Love Can Hurt Like This

while contemplating the
words of Sophocles:

” One word frees us of
all the 
weight and
pain of life:
That word is love.” 

And as complicated,
convoluted, and
as it might seem,
I think F. Scott Fitzgerald
might have had
something there
when he wrote about
the wonderful :
“… ability to hold
two opposing

ideas in mind
at the same time

and still retain the
to function.” 

Man, you
need that
in this life,
for sure.

!!!!HOY !!!!!



Major Suckage

Lame as it might
seem, it’s time
for yer Ole Uncle
Nuts to delve once
again into the vague
and incoherent
world of nautical
allegories –

– such as the fact
that we’ve already
sailed one more day
toward the edge
of what very well
could be a flat
world called 2019.

And spinnakers
aren’t all that
great at catching
a vacuum.

See what I mean
about vague and

We do that a lot
around here.

cheer up, man.

There’s a big bottle
of bourbon in my
foot locker.

speaking of
a vacuum…

I thought today,
we’d talk about
household vacuum


Well, at least one of
my readers has admitted
to getting his significant
other such a machine for
Christmas, and I thought
I’d rub it in ….

( Errr… I mean,
explain the background )
a bit.

And a nice Hoover with
all the attachments might
be just exactly what she
wants, I dunno.

( Yeah,…. right .
There’s still time, brother… )

The first carpet sweeping
devices were invented
around the middle of the
1800’s ; they created
a vacuum using a
hand operated bellows.

Then toward the end of
the 1890’s, electric motors
were added – not to suck,
so much, but to blow the
dirt around .
( actually into a specially
designed receptacle. )

It wasn’t until 1905 that a
British inventor came up with
a practical vacuum cleaner
device for the home — it was
called “Griffith’s Improved
Vacuum Apparatus for
Removing Dust from Carpets”.

Both the Kirby and the Hoover
came along a couple years
later- with obviously simpler
brand names, but using the
same basic principle.

They remained relatively
expensive devices, though,
until after World War II –
when the rage for
wall-to-wall carpets in
homes made them almost
a necessity.

Overall, it’s been
a pretty useful and
safe appliance …..

But, over the years,
there have been dozens
of deaths attributed to the
electric vacuum cleaner,
and fall into 3 general

1: Accidental electrocution:
( what a shock, huh ?)
like trying to suck the
water out of your bath
tub while you’re still in


2: Auto-erotic :
( what a buzz-kill, huh? )
like the Oxford student
who was getting kinky
with a couple plastic
bags and a vacuum cleaner.


3: Getting hit with one:
( what a way to void
a warranty! )


There actually used to
be a 4th common way
to get killed involving
a vacuum cleaner, but
those damned door-to
-door Rainbow Vac
salesmen have finally
given up on my house.


!!!! HOY !!!!


The Pulpier The Better

outofideasIt seems like the
trend in Hollyweird
these days is to
remake everything
they can get
their hands on……

come on,
did they
really need
to revisit “Ant Man
and The Wasp” from
comics ?

man, lame.

Talk about
running out of ideas.worldofif

When they do
come up with
something of a
semi-original plot
idea —

it’s about turning
obnoxious rich guys
into pet house cats
so they’ll have to
spend more time
with their

Oh well,
at least he
can’t complain
about not getting
enough pussy,

Anyhoo —
back in the
vein of remakes,

I was thinking
that a fertile field
that Hollyweird
has thus-far
failed to tap
is the whole genre of
bad pulp paperbacks
from the
and 1960’s–

After all,
how much
worse can
the movies getacdc
than they are now?

Of course, anybody
who has ever had
the pleasure of
furtively perusing
one of these vintage,
shabby pulp tomes
(as a young boy)
knows that the
interesting content
is all on the cover …..

— the rest of
the book
might as well
be an
encyclopedic entry
set on demonstratingcruel
the literary concept
of boring.


—- Dullsville,

Flat as
a pancake. 

Again, though —
it seems perfectly
in tune with the
current movie trendexp
which provide more
than ample breaks
in the action for the opportunity to go
visit the snack bar
several times during
a feature without
missing so much
as an Ooooh,
or an Ahhhh.

‘Cause at
the movie theatre —

Popcorn is profit.


Come to think about it…

Movies have gone through
all kinds of expensive,libraian
technological changes
over the years —

Dolby Sound,
Digital Animation ….

All to produce,
to average Joe,
is no more than
a hum-drum
minor adrenaline
surge at the
52:17 mark.

can do that,nursey
and has required
absolutely no expensive breakthroughs in
production technologies,

— nor has it
required spiraling
multi-billion dollar
contracts for over-paid
actors, writers,
and the rest of that ilk.

So my idea is that
we print up a few vintage
risque paperback covers
and charge people
to stand in line
at the snack bar
and look at em.

They can useprinc
their imagination
to develop the plots,
all the happy
endings they want.

We simply provide:

a $100 popcorn popper

and a years supply
of popcorn,

artificially flavored
synthetic ‘butter’

( really, just something
to wet the stuff,
but nothing to interfere
with the bland taste
which is so key to today’s sinstreet
cutting edge media
apparently )

plus a soda fountain,


an attendant that moves
slower than molasses,

and of course,
plenty of napkins.

You know,
for the happy


I’ll make a mint.

And they said
I’d never amount
to anything.

HOY !!!!!