Friday Mail Bag

Bonjour and
Bienvenue to
another Friday
Mail Bag Post.

Read the Tumblr update
at the bottom if you’re
interested.

In the meantime:
Our post today
has quite an
international
feel to it,
— and
it’s almost
completely
composed
of
submissions
that have
somehow
missed
being victimized
( errrr…
I mean,
utilized )
in previous
Friday editions.

Why?

Oh man,
who knows?

Cause they’re
all great cards,
and I appreciate
everybody who
sent em in.

No matter
where you
go in this big
ole world ,
north,
south,
east,
or west –

– you’ll still
find plenty
of folks
who
appreciate
a laugh or two.

While a
sense of
humor is
almost
obligatory
when
you’re traveling,
it certainly
don’t hurt
any at
all other
times
as well.

.

NOTE—

.

TUMBLR UPDATE:

An update on the Tumblr situation —
our site over there (which is where we
post stuff a bit more adult-oriented
that isn’t appropriate for WP) is going dark as of the 17th, but we are trying out a few new platforms -including:
Sharesome, Mastodon, and Fetlife-
– and of course, we’re still open to
suggestions !!!
(From experience, of course).

If you’re in the same boat,
look us up over there at
the same user name as the
Tumblr one and please
follow/send a friend request !

.

!!! HOY !!!

.

.

Advertisements

Mailbag Mainstays

a1Yes,
sure
it’s that
time again,
man.

‘Cause my
mailbag’s full —

— and it’d be
an awful shame
to waste all
these goodies.

My wonderful
friends and
regular readers
send meatsea
all sorts of
very cool stuff….

and some of it’s
just weird enough
(or in some way
matches up to
the mysteriously
arcane guidelines)
to get on one
of these here
mailbag posts.

The rest gets
used on variousbank
other posts
or stored in the
world famous
Muscleheaded
Magic Vault —

(located at a
secret location
known only to me,
(I have about 10
feet of space)

Suzie Wonder,
(who keeps about
10,000 square feet
for herself and
her – quote –
‘Medical Supplies’)

and a
few thousand
Morlocks who’ll
work for a couple
of packages of
peat moss)

— for just the
right time,firm
and/or place.

If I could
only remember
the combination to
the damn thing.

(and how to
get there)

All I gotta do, then,
is mop up the place
every once in a while….kid

which I haven’t
done anything
about in some time,
come to think of it….

….. so,
I’m kinda
afraid to
look in there
right now.

But no
worries–

— there’s
plenty of goodies
right here
on the local
designated
hard drive
without opening
that particular
can of worms
right at this
moment.

I’ll just bet
I’m gonnasandy
need
rubber gloves,
anyway.

Anybody seen
my bourbon ????

Makers Mark, if
Wild Turkey ain’t
available, thanks —

and, err–
two ice cubes.

Ahem.

.

!!!!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

openwide

Friday Mail Merriment

myrnaWhen you
do a main write
6 days a week,
like we do
here at the
world non-famous
Muscleheaded Blog,

– some days there’s
just no other way
of answering the
posting exigency   —popcornrobot

One just
paddles out
into that
raging stream
of consciousness,

— dragging some
cool chaff out of
that undiscovered
country otherwise
known as the
digital mail-bag ……

related or unrelated,elbows40

to take with you and
hoping all the while
that the damn thing
comes together
cohesively somehow…

… sorta like
Mom’s Brunswick stew,

and hopefully not like
Mom’s world-famous
mixed-leftovers casserole.

Sorry, Mom.3
and all Irish cooks
everywhere.

Hey,
it’s not like
I grew up hungry.

One look at me,
and you can tell
I never missed a meal.

Flavor deprived,
maybe –
– but never hungry.

Still,
where Bobby Flay
was poolwhen Mom was
learning to cook,
well…
who knows the answer
to that one.

She had a few dishes
she could knock
out of the park,
and the rest were…
— at best,
filler.ballyhoo2

Now, you might just be
thinking that I’m using
my Mother’s cooking
as a scapegoat for my
utter lack of creativity
in coming up with a
topic for today’s post….

— and while
I patently deny
such an allegation,
it’s true that I am kinda
scraping the proverbial
bottom of the scorched
Pyrex….

Oh well, dance
Mom stopped reading
my blog after I made
those snarky remarks
about my Aunt Mary’s
penchant for sexy
stockings a couple
months back,

although
I’m still
sure that the
belated-ness of my
birthday present from
her is completely
unrelated, and simply
a matter of postal
service technicalities
of some sort or other…

— and will hopefully
be rectified without
the force majeure
requiring retraction
and/or apology.

Damn it,
I gave her
my list in January……

so I’m not
really sure
why she couldn’t
have sent it a higuyz
little farther
ahead.

Maybe
I shouldn’t
have said
‘no home-cooked items’,
I dunno.

.

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!

.

edrunci

Our Ostrobogulous Friday Mailbag

The writer
Italo Calvano
once said that:

“A classic is a
book that has
never finished
saying what it
has to say.” 

I think that’s
probably true
about a lot
of things,
and not just
books.

For instance,
you can find
a lot of substance
and humor in old
postcards that’s
still totally relevant –

– and still speaks
very much to the
contemporary
reader.

Of course,
there’s also
the other kind
of vintage card —

— still classic,
you understand
(far be it from me
to besmirch such
things ) —

— but perhaps well
outside of Calvano’s
concept —

– much less relevant,
and doesn’t really
have anything
to say to a
contemporary
reader,
other than:
” WTF “ ?

And naturally,
here at the
Muscleheaded Blog,
we specialize
in those kinds
of cards —

.. the ones
that make
you ponder if there
really is intelligent
life on Earth.

(We know the
answer to that,
now, don’t we?)

So, today, we go
one step further
in fulfilling our
ultimate destiny….

as we present
some more blatant
examples of the
second type of
classic vintage
postcard —

— the ones for
which the meaning
has been hopelessly
obscured amongst
the 23-skidoos,
O-U-Kids and
banana twinkies
deep, deep down
in the time-space
continuum.

Uh hum.

Ok, so sure,
a couple of these
are simply about
old fashioned
flirtation, which
today would come
off as a 9 or a 10
on the official
gauge of these
things…..

The Fester Addams
Relative Creepster
Gradience Scale.

You might not
want what the guy
in the postcard
is selling, but the
product on offer
itself is pretty clear.

And I’m sure we
can come up
with explanations
for what we think
the rest of them
meant, for sure,
but real
understanding
is such a …..
well,
it’s a kinda
hard
thing to
understand,
sometimes.

Hey-
that should
be a famous
quote.

.

!!! HOY !!!

The Mailbag Overfloweth

flask

submitted by Jen

I dunno
why
I felt like
sounding so
biblical
all of a sudden…..

— maybe
I was
reminded
of the great flood,
or something.

It sure was nice
to come back
to so much mail,
though.

I very much
appreciate
all of my friends
and readers —

— and most
especially
the ones sending
me cool stuff
for the mailbag.

And jeez –
what a mix !

Yep,
we’ve got a
weird cocktail
of vintage stuff,
this week,
I’ll admit.

But, variety
really is1907
the spice of life,
doncha think?

Sure.

wELL,
OK,
— just so
nobody thinks
we’re playing
fast and loose
( not me )
with our
quotations
around here…..

Actually,
William Cowper’ssunkiss
quote was:

“Variety’s the
very spice of life, 

that gives it all
it’s flavour.”

Hey
man,
what can
I say?breath

That guy had a
way with words.

No wonder they
named some glands
after him.

Errr…..
wiz

So,
anyway–

Onward
and Outward.

or :

Off to see the wizard.

Whatever you want, man.

As long we’re
all having
fun as much
as possible,

—-  and Carpe Diem !

Thanks again
for the submissions,
y’all !!!!

!!!!!! HOY !!!!!!!!!!!!

petty

The Dog Days Of Summer

It’s summer time —

— that’s no
bummertime —

happy days
and sunshine

melt the icy
memory
of snow.

Ok,
so it’s
not Shelley,
I’ll admit.

More like
Steve Miller…. 

which is why
I dropped
the verse
after 4 lines.

Still,
one must admit a
grudging admiration
for the stifling heat
of summer in
contrast to the
bitter cold we had
this last winter.

If one more pocket
philosopher informs
me that it’s :
“not the heat,
it’s the humidity”
I’m gonna shove a
thermometer some
where they’re going
to have a difficult
time retrieving same.

90- 100% humidity
is, indeed, a factor
that we regularly
deal with here in the
South –

usually with dignity…

– cause we’re kinda
used to it, if such
a thing was really
possible.

At such levels,
the sweat is
sucked out of your
pores so fast it doesn’t
really have time to cool
your body —

Basically, it’s just nature’s
way of making you feel
like a damp, smelly gym
sock all summer long.

Even my dog thinks I
smell bad at this time 
of year.

And in case
you were wonderin’,
Daisie Doggie is doing
fine —

she’s got her spot picked
out on the couch, right
in front of the window
air conditioner in my 
study, where she then
simply requires a blanket
to keep her cozy but still
cool.

Ok,
a red Twizzler to
gnaw on occasionally,
two toys,
and some peace
and quiet
are also very
appreciated.

Put some Gershwin
on the stereo while
you’re at it —

–not too loud,
though.

A dog’s life.

Hey,
summer time —
where the livin’s easy.

.

!! HOY !!

Happy National Kissing Day

My friends –
It’s National Kissing Day.

And I can’t think of a
better time to take the
day off, and spend it
snogging with your
favorite person or
persons.

Ok ….

if you wanna get
all fancy,
you could
also:

Osculate
Canoodle
Lock Tongues
Smooch
Swap Spit
Smear Lipstick
Make Out
Snuzzle
Make It To 1st Base

…. etc, etc, etc.

The important thing
is that you celebrate
the holiday properly
and to remember the
importance of :
Safety First “.

For instance, if she’s
got braces, maybe that
deep tongue maneuver
might be practiced on
another occasion …..

If she bites,
well,
likewise.

Watch out for stray
lipstick stains —

they tend to show up in
places that you’d probably
rather not explain how
they got there……

Remember to moisturize,
cause chapped lips can
make you unpopular —

and bad breath is sure to
put the ky-bosh on just
about any post-graduate
behavior you might have
in mind…….

Breath mint?
Yes, please.

As for that ‘muah’ noise:
the sound of sucking when
kissing is not nearly as
appealing as a neophyte
kisser might at first hope…

And no one ever suggested
that a vacuum cleaner was
something to emulate,
in that regard, anyhow.

‘Random’ kissing is really
not advisable in this
(or any) day and age —
the whole ‘mistletoe’ thing
aside.

Besides, it can’t be
used any old
time of the year —

People tend to frown upon
even a little Christmas music
in June-

I shudder to think
how they’d feel
about the injudicious
use of what otherwise
would be considered
a noxious, parasitic
weed.

To sum it all up….

perspective mouths for
our special day’s activity
should be clean, attractive,
fresh smelling, and
attached to someone
you like who is as equally
osculatoraly inclined as you.

Are.

Ahem.

Now, smooch away
and enjoy your day !

.

!!! HOY !!!

.